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Figuring out who I am and Being thankful
As stated in the title, I recently figured out that I'm a femboy. I'm grateful that my university class accepted me. I really appreciate them. In addition to supporting me being a femboy they have also provided me with advice about how to find love, a lot of which I've struggled with due to my Autism.
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Latest Entry
I MADE A CLUB!!! Blog #2
I just wanted to say that I made a new club and it's an azumanga daioh fanclub :3 I hope that some of you join the club if you've watched it..or if you haven't PLEASE WATCH IT!!! IT IS SO GOOD AND ITS FUNNY AND SWEET ITS PERFECT!!! and hopefully I can get some cool members in my club ☆
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Latest Entry
A trip to nowhere
I've been in Chicago for what feels like forever even though it's only been a few weeks. Sunday I got back home to Kentucky. Luckily the plane ride isn't so long and I didn't feel tired when I got home so @Zeref and I decided to take a mini road trip out towards the countryside of Meade County, KY. There's a steakhouse out there we wanted to meet some of my aunts and cousins at for Sunday dinner. The drives about 45 minutes to an hour so a pretty nice long drive out there with a lot of pretty scenery along the way. I took a buncha pictures of everything. The sky was so beautifully blue! I also got some really pretty shots of the Ohio River when we went over it on the bridge. I thought I'd share those from that day here since it's been awhile since I posted a blog entry.
First I want to put my favorite ones here ~ the rest will be behind the spoilers
The first ones are when we were crossing over the Ohio River and the rest are all pictures from the countryside scenery as we were driving out. Everything has gotten so green now that Spring is here and the sky was perfect that day.
I'll put the rest under spoilers here. These are pictures from my Great Aunt's farm such as views from her property and the old barn that has been there for 60 something years.
Spoiler
The rest under this spoiler are just pictures of the Kentucky countryside. There's also a few more of the Ohio River in these.
Spoiler
That's all for now but I hope you enjoy looking at the pictures ^^
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Latest Entry
My first ever blog
Hello everyone, and welcome to my first ever blog. At first i didn't really know what i could write about in my blog, but then i had an idea and just thought i could write my opinions about music albums here. I love music very much, and i also love to listen to old music and new music because i personally think that there are a lot of great old songs and new songs. There will be positive reviews but also negative reviews sometimes, but of course i still try to write my opinions in a constructive way and will name actual reasons why i didn't like some albums. If you're interested in this, then feel free to read my future reviews about music albums. See you soon with a album review.
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West Somerset Railway
Over the UK May Bank Holiday weekend, 2nd to 5th May 2025, I went to the West Somerset Railway's Spring Steam Spectacular. The railway has held these steam galas since the mid-1990s and I have attended most of them and have photographs of every Spring Gala since 2002.
What's so special about these you might ask, well on a normal day the railway will run 4 or 5 trains in each direction per day with 2 or 3 steam locomotives in use. On a gala there could be up to 16 trains in each direction and 9 or 10 steam locomotives in service and they also run goods trains which gives some variety to what you can see, so you can see the appeal for railway enthusiasts like me.A brief bit of history. The railway originally opened in 1862 by the Bristol and Exeter Railway between Taunton and Watchet and was built to the broad gauge of 7 foot and a quarter inch it is a single line railway with loops at several place along the route where trains could pass each other. Watchet was at that time a major port on the River Severn as well as an industrial centre and exports from the port included flour, limestone, textiles, iron ore, paper and in later years car parts. On my first visit to Watchet in 1979 the port was still working and it was interesting watching ships come in, the whole port are was of course shut off from the town because of quarantine regulations, today the port continues to exist as a marina.
But back to the history, the inhabitants of Minehead looked at the railway that ended in Watchet and wanted the railway to come to their town and they got their wish in 1874 when the line was extended to Minehead, this explains why the station building at Watchet is at a right angle to the station platform rather than parallel to it. In 1876 the Bristol and Exeter Railway became part of the Great Western Railway and in 1882 the line was converted from broad gauge to standard gauge. Williton station, one of the passing points, still has evidence of its broad gauge origins in the large space between the platforms it also has an original Bristol and Exeter Railway signal box.
From the 1930s to the 1960s Minehead became a popular tourist destination and attracted thousands of holiday makers each year a so unlike many branch lines the station at Minehead can take a 12 coach train. But the line was included in the infamous Beeching Report as one that could be closed and even the opening of a Butlins Holiday camp in 1962 wasn't enough to save the railway and the last train ran in January 1971.
But that wasn't the end of the railway. In February 1971 a group of local business men investigated the idea of acquiring the line and running it as a private all year round commuter service to Taunton, for various reasons this plan didn't happen and today the line operates as a heritage steam railway, which is where we came in at the start of this blog entry.
The railway today runs from Bishops Lydeard, near Taunton, to the coast at Minehead and at 20 miles is England's longest Heritage railway and has 10 stations along its route, it is regarded as one of the country's premier heritage railways it still has a connection to the main line and on occasion special charter railtour trains, sometimes steam hauled, arrive at Minehead from places like London Paddington.
I had a really enjoyable 4 days on the railway and the weather was warm and sunny which made waiting around between trains very pleasant. I took a huge number of photographs, some of which are below. When you look at these photos remember that all of the locomotives in them were rescued from a scrap yard as rusting heaps and have been beautifully restored to working order by their owners.
The demonstration goods train arriving at Blue Anchor station behind heavy freight locomotive no. 2807. Built in 1905 the loco is the oldest surviving working GWR loco.
A train in the landscape. A passenger train on its way from Dunster to Blue Anchor.
A beautifully restored GWR Manor class locomotive no.7812 Erlestoke Manor departing from Crowcombe Heathfield station
Two trains passing at Williton. Note the wide gap between the two tracks as a result of the station being built as a broad gauge station.
GWR Saint class loco no.2999 Lady of Legend (running as 2986 Robin Hood for the gala) passing through Stogumber station. The area on the right was once the goods yard but is now a beautifully kept garden and picnic site, and a nice place to just sit and enjoy watching the trains go by.
2807 on the turntable at Minehead station. This is how you turn 76 tons of steam loco round so its facing the right way for the return journey, and yes, the crew push it round by hand!
Thank you for reading this blog entry, I hope you found it interesting and informative.
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Latest Entry
Blog entry #1
Hello, hello AF. I have never made a blog in my entire life but I have decided to put one together focusing on something I love: Gaming.
I'll review games I've played here or games that I am playing at the current time. For my Runescape friends on this site I will also be reviewing new releases in OSRS related to bosses or new content.
You can look for guides here in games I play regularly and have a lot of familiarity with coming too.I will be putting together my first official guide and entry on the next post and look forward to posting some gaming guides that which will help anyone out who is also a gamer like myself.
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Favorite Anime Opening #43
Fire Force season 3 opening
Tsuyobi by Queen Bee
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Home Free! (At Least for Now)
Oh, boy--is there a lot to share with you guys. I'll keep it short, though; I passed 2nd semester! I really had to lock in and focus on improving my test-taking strategies, and I think it finally paid off. I end the course with an 82%, which is all that I need to progress. And now, I look to an entire summer to relax, recuperate and prepare for the next school year. Until then, I'll just hang back and enjoy my newfound free time.
This was an incredibly trying time for, not just me but, everybody. I think it brought the worst out of all my classmates, but we all pulled through. I hope to see everyone's faces at the end of it all.
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ANIME IDOL FEST 2025 ;)
HI GUYS, THIS IS ONE EVENT WHERE J-POP, ANIME OST, K-POP AND P-POP WAS COMBINED, ALLOT OF DANCE PERFORMANCE WITH IDOLS AND THE BEST OF ALL IT WAS FOR FREE.
HERE ARE SOME SNIPETS FOR IT 
THERE ARE ALSO MERCHANTS THAT SELLS CUTE KNITTED ITEMS THAT TOTALLY MAKES THE EVENT MORE MEMORABLE.
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A Story About: Music Taste - #04
QUICK BLOG ENTRY!
MY MUSIC TASTE...!
it goes back and forth between English, Japanese, and Korean
as well as, my Spotify wrapped SUCKS because when it comes time to share, no one knows what I'm talking about - so I go into a corner and basically cry about it LOL
sure, you listen to the music you like, but I am such a mixed bag with the songs I like
I like "Feel It" by d4vd (alt indie), I like "Symbol II: Air" by Ave Mujica (heavy metal j-rock, vkei, etc), "Ruler of my Heart" by BL8M and Rubeye (idek, but very different from the others)...
at this point, I'm blabbing about nothing - and it seems like I'm an entitled girl, but this is MY blog !!!!! LOL
I love all the artists I am listening to though, hugs to all of em - just wish I was more like a straight line with the stuff I like haha!!!!
silly blog post yayayay!!!!
could anyone relate? hope its not just me
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Hosting a Japanese Exchange Student
For the past two weeks I've been hanging out with a Japanese student. She's from Hyogo prefecture, so I got to learn some Kansai dialect slang. A few are honmani which is an adjective meaning very. So, honmani acchi means very hot. Acchi is short for atsui meaning hot. There's also egui which has the same meaning as yabai. They both are said in response to something very bad or good. The boys also kept trying to get me to say erotic phrases, but the only one I repeated was maji de kusa. So basically, you're shit! It's crazy how many times I've said kusa in the past few weeks.
My friends and I sent off the six japanese students earlier today, there were a lot of tears because of how close we had become. Everyday after school we were going to clubs, starbucks, playing soccer, going to the movies, concerts and a lot more. All of the 4 boys on the trip are in their school's soccer club, so playing soccer was super fun. We called it bluelock practice. As a group we went to the city a bunch, and just with my student and family as well.
Some of my favorite memories were being squished into my friend's car. Going home from the gym, we may have fit more than legally allowed, but it was a bunch of fun. The other day we went to see Princess Monoke remastered in theaters, and they were so surprised that it was in Japanese. We took a photo in a photo booth, which is similar to the Japanese Purikara. Except purikara is much more kawaii.
One of the girls on the trip, the best friend of the student I hosted, is a mind gyal. So her attitude is gyal, but looks not much. When I wore my makeup, my student said it looked like heisei gyaru. Which is the older style in general terms.
To put it concisely, I had a ton of fun, practiced my japanese speaking for my AP exam, and made new friends. I'm really grateful for my dad, even though we don't have a ton of money at the moment, he still set aside a budget so that I could have fun with my host student. In his words, he still wanted me to experience Japan in some way. My high school and their high school have an exchange program. Last summer, I was supposed to go to Japan and attend their school, but I got really sick. Even though I discharged before the departure, I wasn't recommended to travel. Since then, I've worked so hard to stay healthy. I've had all A's in every single quarter this year. I wake up at five to go to the gym and do cardio after school. And work with my care team so that I can be stable. I'm so glad that I was able to enjoy this experience without breaking down. Now, my confidence is really high, better than ever. And I think I'll be okay.
If it wasn't for my family or friends, I wouldn't be able to do all these fun things. So I'm really happy. Thanks for reading:)
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A lot has happened and I know I haven't posted. :,)
Hello, Anime Loves and Otakus, I did not fall off the face of the earth but a lot has happened since January. I love this community but I was not doing well and am still in the middle of it so I'll try to explain and maybe tell you guys the good things about what's happening right now.
So After the winter holiday, it was okay, for some reason my mother was like no you're not going to get your driver's license, and since you talked back to me I'm going to make your life a living hell. I don't like to mention her because she's horrible. She first put me on house arrest like no joke I'm not joking I'm only allowed to go to school and they bring me wherever they go like I'm a little dog. No, it wasn't enough she chose to take away all of my privileges that she thinks is "earned".
Here's a list, they hopefully last until 02/23 but she said she can do what she wants:
No conversing or hanging out with your friends
No devices or tv
No phone calls
No being home alone
There is some more but I forget. Keep in mind these all started because she felt like it. My parents have been divorced since I was 2 but they are on really bad terms mainly due to my father's mistakes and my mother's manipulative tendencies. This causes some friction between all 3 of us mainly because my mother treats me the same way she treated my dad. I'm not saying my mother is bad all the time just most of the time which has given me a complex and some anger issues. She likes to play favorites a lot by favoring my little sister and bidding my stepfather against me when she doesn't like what I'm doing.
The funny thing is they don't have anything planned for me only my father does he set me up for a good future while my mother wants me to stay with her and do house projects, run errands, and watch my little sister. All saying I'll let you live here for free and if you go to school (not saying she will pay for it) I'll pay your car bills. While on the other hand, my dad has everything set up teaching skills and helping me study to make sure I leave this place and have a good life.
On that note, I have not been doing well and my mother seems to think for some reason it's not an issue for she's pretending to ignore it. She keeps egging me on by doing little things that she knows piss me off. All she's doing is "trying" to fix my other health issues which is not even an issue in my opinion. I have a skin condition and I have since I was little. We are doing a treatment that works but she wants me on all these natural supplements that don't even work.
Okay now on to the good!
I might be able to obtain a girlfriend but I don't know, how to navigate that. You see I've always been shy with girls and I have had bad past experiences. I'm kinda enjoying paling around with my friends but I'm also spontaneous and like to do things on a whim. What if she wants more than I can give? I don't want to make banana bread! What if we have to hold hands and be all kissy? Okay, I know I sound like a child but I'm all so dFDFGDFGDfgfdGDFgdffg, you know?
On another note, I've got into punk and have been listening to the Sex Pistols for about a year now, of recent I got into Dead Kennedys, Vicous White Kids, Dead Boys, and Sham 69. I'm also watching documentaries on the Sex Pistols and Sid Vicous.
I went to a couple more conventions and got some cool stuff like DVDs and manga. I recently got into reading High School DxD on one of my friend's recommendations its pretty good.
Thanks for reading see you guys in the next one. I promise to try to get back online more its a bit hard right now.
I'M BACK FOR REALl!!!!!!!!!!!
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stuff im thinking about right now
it’s 12:40 AM, i woke up at 11:40 pm. since the beginning of last week i went back to taking my melatonin which i did four or so months ago when school first started. i’d come home and take it an hour or two after getting back and doing everything i felt i needed to. there was never really a particular reason, i just like to wake up really early and do things by myself before going to school.
finished the perks of being a wallflower, that book is the first to make me cry i believe. and it changed me, which some people would probably find funny but it made me think that i wanna live a lot longer. i really do see myself in charlie. i’m re-reading it after taking a three day break and i’m already back at page 19, i ate a mango while i read and realized mangoes are my favorite fruit. on the topic of ‘consuming media’, i am reading volume 1 of happy lesson. it’s okay, it’s another harem with an odd premise. i was watching to loveru over winter break but haven’t picked it back up. i’ve sort of pushed anime away because i’ve become really sad lately, but tonight after i finish part 1 of the perks of being a wallflower i’ll get back to it.
for a blog on an anime forum i have yet to really talk about anime. my tastes are weird. i feel embarrassed talking about them because some of my friends think i’m odd. i watch a lot of anime for moe, which most of the time end up being ecchi and that is quite literally out of my control. it’s something to turn your brain off to, if i want to think then i’ll watch something that forces me to. i haven’t watched a truly thought-provoking anime since NHK ni youkoso, or enjoyed anything thought-provoking til the perks of being a wallflower.
my favorite movie is donnie darko, i want to watch it again but i don’t know any movie piracy sites and i can’t get the HBO max password from my sister. so i’m just sad, because i really like that movie and it means a lot to me. jake gyllenhaal is my favorite actor, i believe he was 19 when he played donnie and really his appearance hasn’t changed much since, and i like how he looks because i think if you didn’t know jake gyllenhaal was an actor he’d just be a normal guy to you. i like when people just look normal, i usually find normal looking people to be the most beautiful someone can be.
listened to a lot of new artists lately. the cocteau twins are very good, i started off hearing one song from head over heels and then i decided i’d find time to go through their discography album by album, i forgot i like music like that. some bands i listen to are just more songs into my spotify liked, and then some are songs and albums i actively seek to listen to in moments.
i did end up telling that girl i like her, but did it in the most horrific way possible. the circumstances as to why i told her are messy and a lot. but since the one time i did confess to someone was when i was 11, i’ve never learned how to do better than how an 11 year old could confess romantic interest. sometimes i feel like i’ve only just begun maturing. i looked at my shoes the entire time, scratched the back of my head, and said “i like-like you.” and meant it, because that’s the only way i know how to confess. i told her why i was telling her, she told me it was okay and to not rush anything, and i said okay and walked away from her without doing anything else.
i’m scared to see her today, i hope she keeps cuddling me. if she still does then she might be into autism.
this is all for now, this is a whole bunch of nothing but it’s more for you to read.
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Latest Entry
Part 2
Hi and thanks for following up to part 2! Props to @Otaku for inspiration for my blog! Enjoy my suffering!
I guess this is when I should've connected the dots about me being lactose intolerant because I guess I ate dairy ice cream-or something because I had bad bowel movements. (simplified: I had some bad poops)
I loved the cabin we stayed in, but sadly it was more than an hour away from a store or gas station, meaning... THIN TOILET PAPER!!!!!
I later got a bad rash (oof), and no good toilet paper to sooth or a least stop the horrible pain. My dad got me some medical cream for this type or rash, and we watched A Whisker Away.
We then changed cabins to a more industrial one about 30 mins away from the other cabin we stayed at and about less than an hour from shops and such. There was a TV there and I ruined it's YouTube by watching a bunch of SPY X FAMILY videos, I even left a note saying sorry for it!
(also started Deathnote)
Here's where it went down.
We then took a tour bus to a glacier, it took some stops for breaks and snacks, we ate sushi! (it was fine, I guess)
Fast forward and we were at the glacier, we got special shoes and a helmet. This is when my head started to hurt, I don't how or why, but it did. Someone is touring through the massive glacier. All is good when I needed to use the restroom.
"because I had bad bowel movements..."
Luckily someone had a little of toilet paper in his backpack so didn't need to use a sock. *Very unpleasant moment later* And my headache came back, maybe due to altitude.
And my dad and I had to wait for someone who worked there to take us back. My dad later cut the underwear off of me, and my 2 sisters and my mother came back with glacier water (lucky). So they got a great memory and a souvinier* and I got an "at least it's over now..." memory and one less pair of underpants.
Twas the time to head back for Washington state. While we were leaving I forgot to eat breakfast and felt motion sick in the car trip to the airport. I still felt bad in the airport and my mom got me a Kids motion sickness tablet thingy and a PB and J. I took the tablet which made me feel worse which made me vomit which made me feel better.
After that we headed home and that ends my great (yet horrible) trip to Alaska!
What did you think? Was it good or bad?
(Were moving in from a rental to an actual house if you want something on that, Bu-Bye now!)
*spelled that wrong I know
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InuYasha Themed Sigs - Sara Asano
Sara Asano (阿佐野娑蘿（さらひめ）, "Princess Sal Tree")
Sara's necklace (娑蘿の首飾り, "Sara no kubikazari")
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Please note that the plugin I list doesn't prevent thumbnail ads on the front page, and that video ads are just skipped really fast after popping up on screen. This can be jarring depending on your own personal preferences.
In recent news, YouTube has decided that all adblock plugins are no longer kosher. The bastards have gone out of their way to block their video player for any users detected using them. In my testing, it also prevents usage of tracker blockers such as Privacy Badger. This marks yet another degradation of legacy sites most of the world uses on a more than regular basis.
YouTube is known for implementing horrible decisions for years, this being the latest in a long line of them. Being a website made in the heyday of mid aughts tech boom, and created in a much less corporatized internet ecosystem, this just marks another die off of legacy users to the site. It also marks a recent trend in legacy web 2.0 sites, which make zero profit from decades of being run under the idea that, one day, hosting thousands of terabytes of data will eventually be profitable. YouTube as a company never made money, from its beginning days to its entire history under Google ownership. These sites thrived through angel investors keeping the doors open under the idea that, because they have such a large userbase of so many people, the site would (eventually) be profitable. A slowdown in receiving investor money in recent years (due to a loss in faith in big tech as a whole) has caused these sites to go into full panic mode and do anything to make as much money as possible in order to bring the investors back. Twitter charging a dollar a year, and Reddit pay walling their API access are further examples of corporate sites ruining user experience for the sake of squeezing a few more dollars out of their user base.
Those inclined enough have made work arounds which (at the time of writing) work to prevent further ad bombardment. I, personally, have taken to using RemoveAdblockThing, a plugin for tamper monkey. I also use a plugin which reimplements the dislikes counter. Like I said at the start, however, it only quickly skips through any ads video that pop up, and does not remove thumbnail ads.
https://www.tampermonkey.net/
https://github.com/TheRealJoelmatic/RemoveAdblockThing
https://www.returnyoutubedislike.com/installThis method is the one that works best with me for now. I tested several other methods around and found this one to be the simplest to implement, and results in the most consistent blocking experience. I highly recommend doing research on the topic and finding a method that works best for you, personally. The early implementation of this has left a lot of room for bypassing this, and it will only become more difficult to do so over time.
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Kiss, Kiss, Looking Dolly
There is a much memed anime clip going around. You may recognize it below.
Toho Studio. WIT Studio. (2023). 【荒木哲郎×SawanoHiroyuki[nZk]：Hata Motohiro】『COLORs』／TOHO animation ミュージックフィルムズ. Youtube.
If you’ve looked beyond the memes, you might know that this is actually not from an anime series, but a music video for the song COLORs by Sawano Hiroyuki and Hato Motohiro. The anime stylings from the video are recognizable as the work of Toho Studios (Your Name, Jujutsu Kaisen) and WIT Studio (Attack on Titan, Spy x Family).
If you have not seen the original music video, it is worth a watch and a listen. What I do understand from three and a half minute animation is the dark haired protagonist’s fascination with the iconic pink-haired individual, and some sort of military situation that seems like a mix of Neon Genesis Evangelion and Extinction (2018). I don’t know enough to comment about the exploration of gender that occurs in the music video, but it is another prominent point, and element that many of the memes using the clip focus on. The translated lyrics do not do much more to elucidate the plot of the video, speaking only appreciating a unreachable and transient sense of beauty in another person.
If you have your own theories on the meaning of the animation and song, I’d love to hear them and I’m sure folks around these parts would too.
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i'll go first
Show Name: Desert Punk
Character Name: Desert Punk / Kanta Mizuno
Reason why I Relate So Much Because i am A Total Pervert ☠
, My Sex Drive Levels Is Insane
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Summer School
WELL!
Summer school has been...a journey, I started my first day today..which means, dread.
Although, I see some of my friends in here, so all is well.
But I will say, I have no idea what Im doing...
Math is what Im recovering for my credit recovery, and its no fun...anyways... - 14
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Who Was Max Headroom?
The character portrayed by Matt Frewer on British television whose consciousness was transferred into an AI program following his fatal accident is possibly the most anime non-anime character ever.
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Two Way Chunin Exam Versus Battle
Before we get into this I just wanted to say hi guys. Just checking in to let you know I'm still alive
. It's been a year or two and I forgot this place existed if I'm being completely honest with you so I wanted to come back on here and pick up where we left off. I'm pleasantly surprised to see that this place has grown significantly since the last time I was on here, but with that out of the way let's continue. So to get back into the swing of things I wanted to start with a two way versus battle to figure out who's winning. Chunin Exam Sasuke (while copying Lee's Taijutsu) and Gaara vs Neji and Rock Lee (Without weights). I have my own answers for this, but I want to mainly see what you guys have to say about it and I'll chip in where I can. Let me know what you're thinking!
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1 Super Power?
1. What if one day an accident happens and suddenly had an awesome superpower?!
2. What role would you play with this newfound power?1. I'd want the ability to heal. The healing power would work on others and me.
2. I'd play the slightly mischievous heroine! I'm not a saint, but I have a warm loving soul.
I'll be best support gal! Kidding. I'd make sure to build strength, stay healthy, learn martial arts and whatever else. - 7
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In The Beginning...
Hey guys. I hope you guys are all well. First blog post here. I was born on June 12 21 years back, and well...my life since then is not one for the faint of heart. Well, maybe that is exageratting but if someone told you this was a happy tale, that I was your average, neurotypical guy not a care in the world, someone lied...
TL;DR is that in the past couple of months, my dad caught COVID(opted to not get the vaccine) and died, tons of family drama ensued with his GF and his relatives regarding how to handle his remains, power of attorney, etc. This reignited tensions between my mom and sister(and even me) and cue broken glass everywhere, lots of screaming and crying, a fist fight almost broke out in the ER between my mom, dad's niece, niece's BF, and me when I tried to prevent an altercation from breaking out, and a full on fist fight went on between my mom and sister when my sister got upset over some petty shit and started wailing on her, and my mom wrestling her on the ground. Just, lots of fucking craziness, but I finally moved out with my mom's help and I am getting space with my family, both physically and limiting contact, and have an EMT job and in an apartment with roommates.
Aside from the family dysfunction, I am autistic(high functioning) and my social skills left alot to be desired growing up. Having turned 21 recently, I finally started to feel normal in terms of social intuition, but with that comes with feeling worse about my cringier moments when attempting to socialize. Then there's two people from my past, people I saw as friends and thought reciprocated but maybe never felt the same.
Friend A was a guy, actually from a fundamentalist Christian family(no HP, Pokemon, creationist, anti-Halloween etc). This was when I was in middle school so I was still cringey and plus haven't deconverted(though family isn't fundamentalist). We got along for quite some time but as time went on and shenangians involving girls came up (think the ''get girl to like you'' plans you see from teen characters on TV) I started to see more of his manipulative side, with black mail, using me for snacks, lending him my phone etc. Moved away, lost contact, found out after graduating HS that he molested my sister, and he blackmailed/threatened me when I confronted him via text. Friend B I met in high school. We got along initially, but then they got kinda withdrawn. I admit I got kinda clingy and crossed boundaries, but when we seemed to reconcile and start to connect, they told me they were getting into some bad shit(think missing on a milk carton shit), tried to stop them from doing it, things got confusing and I went to far, and the lashed out and didn't want to speak to me again. That was 4+ years ago now. Against my better judgement, I reached out to them and didn't really get a reply so I won't do it again, so maybe they are still mad, I don't know. There's honestly certain things about them I wonder if I should have been weary of, since they said some things that implied they were using me or even signs they may not have been as nice as I thought. I made mistakes, but of course I initially thought friend A was really great too...
It is hard. Sometimes I don't feel bad about all this, other times I wonder if I will spiral into a mental breakdown. It seems autism isn't just about your social skills, but even when trying not to dwell or hyperfixate on things my brain wants to do it's own thing. And it can feel a bit scary since I don't want to go to a bad place. I don't want to hurt anyone, or myself. My sister has tried to kill herself several times and I don't want to put myself in that category. No offense to anyone who has struggled with that...but it is also afraid if I will prove certain people right and become that bad person they think I am, or even being so pathetic and naive that I may do such a thing or be so trusting enough to be manipulated by others.
Like I said, it's alot of up and down, and especially about my father since he was a piece of work(bad temper, verbally abusive, etc) yet seeing my sister cry at the funeral was hard and even I feel sad even if I question whether I would ever reconcile with him. I do have a couple new friends here, which may help. Maybe I am too caught up in my thoughts, and sometimes it feels like too much and I hope I can get better. It will still take some time before I am fully settled in, especially with money. But then I can explore things like friends, martial arts, more animes, shows or movies, etc. Finding that special someone would be nice too, but well I likely have some ways to go before getting in a relationship.- Read more...
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Welcome back to confirmation biases. Last time, I explained that to avoid confirmation bias, you'd have to view a perspective on both sides. If you haven't read it yet, I suggest you do.
So, what did I mean by viewing a perspective on both sides?Well, simply put, I meant what I said. You find both proving and disproving evidence of a topic. Well, how do you do this?
Think of it this way - "Does this evidence give clear evidence that this might be right? If not, is there any counter evidence?"
If the answer to this is yes, congratulations - You've found sound evidence that does not confirm that your belief is 100% right. At the most, you've most likely only confirmed a very small portion of your claim.If the answer to this is no, however, you then look for counter evidence. Counter evidence to see if your not-clear evidence is incorrect.
Let's use an example, again.You're investigating a murder. You have solid evidence that the murderer is a 15-year old child from... I don't know, Kentucky. However, you know that this one piece of evidence doesn't confirm it, and therefore, look for counter-evidence.
Then, you do find counter-evidence. You find counter-evidence that they're not from Kentucky, and that they're actually from New Jersey. So, you put both of these aside and begin battling out which seems more likely.
If, however, you can't find a conclusion, then set them aside for later until you find more evidence/counter-evidence. Once you have enough, argue with yourself, then make your case.This has been Week One of Logic Lessons with L, stay tuned for Week Two, which we'll be discussing about planning and unplanned executions of... anything.
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I'M BACK FOR REALl!!!!!!!!!!!
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