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About this blog

So the point of me starting a blog is that if at any moment I have a thought I want to share, I'll go ahead and write it down here, free for all to read. I might talk about myself, recent events, my point of view of certain things, and eventually Anime of course.

I will also leave here this adorable pancake gif, it cheers me up every time it loops.

pancake gif.gif

Entries in this blog

Entry nº14 Final Boss Rush

Good day! (It's 22:42, but what gives...) Fate tells me today to expose myself. The reason is... well... I've taken strong conscience of some truths, and now I am here to accept everything (at least part of it until I fall asleep).
Let's see, where to start... How about something light, eh?  First revelation -> This year's Halloween is coming soon, and my costume is so close to be complete, I am ready to announce here with much pride and excitement that I am in fact going to cosplay as none other than Sakuya Izayoi from Touhou Koumajou Densetsu.
Yeh... I'm going to be crossdressing for the first time, and since this appearance (to me) reflects well enough my way of being (just my weird way of thinking, aye?) it's the most special costume to date, for me at least. Remember my last entry where I stated I was growing a second identity? That did not turn out to be an issue. After long hours of introspection, I decided to accept this side of me (which had slightly awoken last year, curiously...) and embrace every bit of it. I am *nearly complete* again, since I'm still on it.
So, this new part of me is really none other than my dark consciousness. It has all of my dark emotions in it; sadism, vengefulness, hate, and ruthlesness.
I find it similar to poetry. It's beautiful, isn't it? A duality, light and dark in balance, that's how I want to be, and that's my road from now on. This is something I only talked about with my closest friends. Loyal readers will remember that at some point I talked about how I lost trust in my ex-best friend. Well, it's inevitable to have those memories come back, eh? I do not feel any regret, but what does worry me a bit is that our common friends really see me differently now, and they used to be my best friends too. I have gladly found replacements. Lastly, I'll finish with this ( ′~‵) : My friends mean everything to me. They are fascinating, and extraordinary, and deserve much more than they have. One thing I will not tolerate is carelesness towards them.
I declare one thing : Any who will threaten them, will severely regret it, I no longer fear holding back my grudges or stacked up hate over the years. 
The universe is warned. I am small, I am easy to kill, but what I would do for them would be remembered indefinitely.

Very special thanks to them, (⌒▽⌒)
-The inimitable (code names used) :  *My companion of adventures   *My long-time rival and friend   *My real history book   *My flaming flower   *My binary speaker
   *My will to question things   *My instinct   *My shadow     Done at last. Heck, it's 0:33 now, it took two hours to write this.

Roxeg

Roxeg

Entry nº13 Magic time

Howdy, I've been wanting to write again for a while now, so here I am, again. 
School has started well enough, I did not miss my classmates though... The new teachers look very kind though, I have to reasons to believe this will be a fruitful year.
I've still only got one friend in the whole class, and the other friend I have at school (he counts too), so I've spent the lunch breaks sitting down by myself and writing on a new journal. On this new journal I've started writing down what's been going through my mind as of late, and that is... I'm growing a second identity (possibly on purpose, but still unconsciously? it's unclear. Brains work in mysterious ways) based on my most ominous and honest self. At first, it was only a wave of images and thoughts that came into my mind, but they were so strong they grew larger, big enough to make myself doubt about what I am now, one or two people in a single body. It's all in my head, sure, and I'm actually quite comfortable with it. 
It's so curious. I feel like I can feed this new consciousness even further, wouldn't it be fun to be one person in the morning, and another in the evening like magic? 
First, let me make it clear. I know this is quite unnatural, it would sound like I've gone mad, but I assure you I'm not uncomfortable with it at all. I'm still assuming this experience is happening, Second, it's not a complete transformation, quite the opposite. I believe this second identity is only the reflection of who and what I really want to be deep down in my own consciousness, so there's no danger about any sudden mood changes. Third and last, this second-self seems to hold my 'unnatural' side, if that makes any sense. What I mean with that, is that it's making me want to wear clothes which are meant for girls, because basically gender doesn't seem to mean anything determinating to myself. I'm being surprised by what I'm coming up with myself, and I still want to learn more about what both me's are capable together. This entry was written by Roxeg, the first-self, just to specify in case.   Oooo.... Should I name my second identity?

Roxeg

Roxeg

Entry nº12.5 Crap, crap everywhere

I didn't see this coming.   Where is she?   Where has she gone?   Code name: Lochír Lothloniel, I talked to her everyday, and it's been a hectic two weeks since I last got word from her.   I guess, I'm alone, in the dark, again.

Roxeg

Roxeg

Entry nº12 2018 Summer

Good day. I just re read my older entries, that sounds so much not like me in this moment... In the sense of humour I mean. Saying "deer" instead of "dear", hoho, how funny of me to use that in an entry about Christmas. 
Getting to the point. This is just a short summary of what I've done so far this summer, nothing else's new sine the last entry. I have: -Taken a six hour long trip with a crying 2 year old little girl, a three month old puppy fond of my left sock, a complaining uncle, a yelling aunt, and a singing elder cousin. (And I still have to go on another two of those)
-Started working on my cosplay for this year (top secret)
-Got better at Osu!
-Purchased a PS4 and the whole Kingdom Hearts saga
-Done some Jiu Jitsu warmups every few days to keep in shape
-Assisted to a funeral
-Been at the beach
-I've been writing this list for 30' now and I'm out of things to say.   Itte kimasu.

Roxeg

Roxeg

Entry nº11 Sugoi, Sugoi!

Good day, readers. As promised, I'm finally writing another entry, at last.
As promised, it will be about something happy, rather than obnoxious and pessimistic like my previous entries used to be. Important updates :
First thing to announce - I am out of the market.
Second thing to announce - I am back in Spain for summer, and I have little to no plans at all.
Third thing to announce - I started learning Jiu Jitsu (Samurai martial arts) two months ago, and I'm white belt, but I'm already quite deadly if I face someone who knows nothing.
Fourth thing to announce - I haven't stopped writing poetry unlike my absence in the poetry club might suggest. I've just been busy.
Fifth thing to announce - Right now I have reached my peak of happiness. -> That's right. Finally, I won't be seeing my ex friend anymore, or hear about him anymore. A consequence of that might be losing two of my closest friends, but having lost the closest one in the first place, it'll not be a difficult job, also having in mind that I have other friends who I know deserve a major role in my life. I've got an argument with one of my cousins, but he ignores my warnings. He's addicted to a game and he won't listen to me, he's pretty much lost until he recapacitates by himself, so I shouldn't worry about that now.  It's been a very long time since I've drawn anything, the reason being that I've really been busy (and wasn't in the mood) of drawing, but I promised someone that I would draw with them, so there's that too. Finally, I want to announce that my cosplay for this year's Halloween will be no other than my waifu, Sakuya Izayoi herself. It'll be a great challenge, I'll be mocked at school, teachers will look at me in funny ways and ask many questions (or not), but I promised someone that I would do it in their honour, and so I will. (Maybe I should stop making so many promises to everyone I care for, hehe) That's all that comes to my mind right now, oh, and also, I'm still celebrating in my mind that I won the poetry contest here! It was a close match against the other best poem, *looks at the writer* we could probably have a rematch if you want!   Moichido Mitekudasai!    

Roxeg

Roxeg

 

Entry nº10 An extreme turn

Good day, fellows. I am happy that many new people are joining the forums lately, and becoming active, since we've lost a lot of activity of the most reputated members, so it's always good to have a backup മ◡മ . To my point of today: I know I am supposed to start acting more positively here, since my entries were getting very depressing, with my life apparently falling apart and all that,
No more! - .... Oh, I just had to deal with my 'best friend' abandoning me for months and not giving a crap about my introvert personality and how it feels to be enforced into a group of people you don't like. That's what's happened lately. I was doing fine, progressing at school, making new friends here and in Discord servers, keeping up with my drawings, taking care of projects.. Then I'm forced into an interrogation by this person, and another of the friends from the same social group. The second one seemed to understand and never spoke of the subject again, which was how I felt about the first one. The first one... he had a breakdown today. He noticed just now that he's lost me forever, when I had been hinting it for months. Does he not notice when someone's constantly avoiding you at all costs? I lost all trust in him when he abandoned me for others without any explanation. Me, being sensitive as I am, fell to the ground and darkest pits of my mind. Later I went through other trouble with other people, falling for an imaginary love that was in no way possible the other way around, and well... These things happen. But heck, I despised this person's company so much after that happened that I had never felt so uncomfortable. I even wasted time hiding in the bathroom at school just so he would go have lunch with other people and I could go by myself, or leave school to go eat at a restaurant, away from him.  My point is that now he's promised to leave me by myself, after a serious and sincere chatter. I'm anxious for the end of this school year, since he leaves and won't be around next year. I really don't know what kind of things are supposed to make you want to avoid your best friend this way, but it's happened. And he cried in audio messages, and was I supposed to feel bad? I've been told by other good friends "no". He's just suffering the consequences of his selfish actions, and I should move on, and so I do! So I feel quite relieved in this moment, hooray. Happiness everywhere, I suppose, for real. I might not have a life goal, but that's kind of what makes me always so happy, having nothing big to worry about. Sure, I want to go to a university and all that, but I don't have a "dream" to accomplish before I die, at least for now, so all I have right now is more than enough to keep my mind steady and optimistic. Back to a subject actually concerning the Forums:
Recently I've started building my own RPG in RPG Maker MV, and It's a really long-term project, I'm not in any hurry so I'm going to take my time. Still I've no idea of programming, so I kindly accept any volunteers to help with either javascript programming, pixel art for characters, items and tilesets, maybe someone to make some original music? (´∀`)
So, without more boring things to read, I bid thee all farewell until any comments or personal messages concerning this come up (¬‿¬) . See you all around.

Roxeg

Roxeg

 

Entry nº9 - Complete update

Good day, first things first: Welcome and congratulations for making it this far in my blog. I suppose not everyone has read the older entries, but it doesn't matter to me, those are the past, and no one should get stuck in the present for a regret in the past and fear for their future, so here I start brand new, fresh ideas and news. Secondly, I want to celebrate that I'm turning a two year old member tomorrow, even though I had been inactive for most of that time, I have indeed taken a better position and I am rather active nowadays. I've met some really nice people here, I have hurt some people here too, I admit it, and some of those mistakes still torment me to this day, but I am looking forward to repair my past to build a pleasant future. Starting by formally asking forgiveness to any I have offended in the past, on purpose or by accident, to any I have hurt emotionally, as well as anyone I might have judged in every bad sense. None of you really deserved whatever I did wrong, from what I know. Following this act of redemption: I have been following to make drawings every so often a promise stands, every time I enjoy it further, and it's really become a passion inside me, I won't let go of this new activity easily, for it has brought me quite some acquaintances and very large amounts of fun to myself. I keep drawing Pokémon from time to time but recently I'm more focused on drawing Manga-style, either existing characters or Original Characters, which are also very fun and complicated to make (^▽^) . I will post some of my drawings in the Art Club (https://animeforums.net/clubs/27-art-club/) soon enough, so if you're interested by any chance, you may have a look at them over there.  Aside than in the forums themselves, I have made some new friends in a Discord server, I'm greeted by many and I feel very integrated, just like here, so I am glad to say that in this moment my friend count has grown a little, not by much, but still better than decreasing ヽ(ヅ)ノ. I also started listening yesterday to a radio dedicated exclusively to Touhou themes, it had to happen eventually, the soundtrack is way too immersive and has grown a lot in my mind, becoming my the longest playlist of them all in years.  About my studies: They aren't doing that well, I really have to spend much more time dedicated to maths and economy, but in other school subjects I have become better during the past months, so that's my ray of hope there; as I'm used to say and never get tired of, keep going all the way. My future plan remains intact, study law in France, get to work for the Spanish government and then become a diplomat, little work compared to good rewards, live like a King, and whoever might come with me in that journey will indeed be lucky honestly, but not luckier than myself, optimism will be my lead. Here I bring an end to my latest report, I don't have anything else to add, so I'll just leave it as it is. Good day to everyone and have a sugoi rest of the week (◑‿◐)

Roxeg

Roxeg

 

New beginning

This is a really short comment. Forget about my past blog entries where I felt depressed, they're no good and won't help anyone anymore, I've forgotten about every bad thing that's happened. From now on I'll only write optimism.

Roxeg

Roxeg

 

Another drawing. Why not?

Howdy everyone, I'm not going to say much here, I just want to share the drawing I finished yesterday (had been working multiple days on it) of Flandre Scarlet from Touhou. Here it is:    I worked really hard on it, and when I compare my latest drawings to my first I notice I've become so much better, I thought I was good already but I notice that I was just a rookie, now I'm trying different techniques and mixing styles to see what new results might come up.

Roxeg

Roxeg

 

Entry nº8 - Tired of many things

Good evening, at least to those who are feeling good. Tonight I'm going to share some of my latest thoughts wich roam through my mind like bullets, it's a harsh situation, but I won't get into too many details to not bore the reader.   If anyone has even noticed (not that I really care, just pointing out), I have lately been slightly depressed for the first time in my life, but I mean depressed for real, not like being mad at something for failing at an usual activity, instead I was consumed by thoughts concerning the 'joy of living', and the opposite, the 'pain of living'. What I've learned in the past weeks is something which means a lot to me, to those I care for. This is the logic: I'm not doing well in life, I have many problems, should I end it here? I'm doing well in my life, I have zero problems, should I end it here? Because of course, if there are absolutely no problems, what's to live for? Just taking space and others' time? It's not like I have a definitive goal for my life, I've never really had, I lack a passion, a life goal to accomplish, I lacked things to care about. Until now. Someone who's always spacing out is always immersed in their own thoughts, most of the time thinking what to do next, trying to improve their relationship with others, and that's no different for me, but the point is: Getting bored is not necessarily bad, as I think I claimed in my 7th entry. Everything I do is kind of pointless, I thought. Then it happened, I had the chance to help someone in need of help, someone I do care about, I immediatley rushed to their help, but did I succeed? I cannot say for sure, but this pressure has been tormenting me. Did I just miss my chance to help someone for real? Or was I not efficient enough because I underrated their problem? I regret every mistake I did, and regret is a powerful emotion. This has created another thought in my mind, maybe I've got as many problems as this person, but I don't notice, or treat them differently, but no, definitley not. I introspected, and thought about it for days (half of every day my mind is occupied by this) and I can assure everyone that I can't find a reason to complain. (sorry if the writing quality is bad, I've been sick lately and can't concentrate on several things) However, now that I'm aware of how big other peoples' problems are, my opinion stands stronger than ever. It can ALWAYS be worse, sure it can also indefinitley be better, but that's based on pure odds. Everyone (except very few strange cases) has problems, some more than others, but I've learned something from thinking about all of this. The issue is not having more or less problems, the trick is HOW you deal with them, either giving up on them, or fighting back with all what you have, even if it seem useless, it never is, I promise everyone.   Think about it as many times as you need, the quote "Anyone can become anything" is correct, keep trying is the key. Good night.

Roxeg

Roxeg

 

Entry nº7 - Staying alone and its benefits

Good day to everyone, in this moment I'm going to share my views on being alone in general, at home, at school, in the street... and what I've learned from my experience. Starting off with the basic context, I'm an introvert, I'm not necessarily comfortable with large groups of people I don't know, sometimes it's worse if I do know them and what I think of them is negative, either way, I've learned in the past year how to be by myself. Not going to lie, I used to think that being alone meant that I wasn't good enough to hang out with others, obviously that's stupid, and it's something I contradict every time someone brings me up the subject. When I'm at home, of course I feel more comfortable when I'm alone. I have my own schedule and no one interrupts me or tells me what to do every hour and a half. I can become more independent and more autonomous, that's a large bright side of it. The issue here comes from being alone at school. I just started being truly introverted half-way through the last schoolyear, and I started spending way too much time by myself, and paying more attention to the behaviour of my classmates, I finally noticed I was surrounded by young criminals, and some of them started to believe I was antisocial or that I was probably acting depressed to get attention (which sounds ridiculous knowing how optimistic I am 24/7), this was strange to me, but what could I do about it? It's not like it really bothered me, at least they'd leave me alone to my own business. Spending that much time alone I got to know myself deeper and better, I learned who I really was, what I thought about others, what others think about me, how I was feeling like, all that stuff. It's also extremely immersive for I can dive into my imagination while no one bothers (except of course someone comes by somtimes and asks something dumb, slightly breaking my concentration), I make up stories in my mind, I learn from them, I remember them one year later, and I even feel nostalgic about them sometimes. However, recently one of my best friends, the one I used to spend the most time with in the past 3 years all of a sudden began hanging out with a new group of people, I was shocked by it at the beginning, but I just came to the conclusion that someone of that group might be leaving soon and they wanted to spend some time together, but that wasn't the case. I felt my friend was letting go off me, and when he tried to introduce me to the new group, I immediatley felt uncomfortable. A medium group of 5 people I knew of nothing, basically ignoring me, my friend included, I just had nothing to add to their conversations, they were not as I used to conversate with my friend. This made me a bit sad. My friend knows that I'm not into getting that many strangers at once, and less to be with people I don't appreciate, but until today he keeps going every morning to meet with them instead of me as he used to for 3 years. Again, I don't complain about the fact that he left me alone and 'bored', because I don't get 'bored' at all when I'm alone as I've said, it's the exact opposite. What disturbed me is the little consideration he's had lately, even forgetting plans we had made for the following day, plans we had planned weeks ago. This is what really annoyed me. But I can't blame him of much, after all he's very extroverted, pretty much the opposite of me, and we're not that alike as I thought we were, I learned that during many introspections. So what I can try to teach you from all this, is to let yourself be bored alone from time to time, it's not unhealthy to be bored sometimes, it can teach you great things, and make your mind clearer. Something which happened to me in my mind and I won't speak about here, happened purely because I started spending ten times as much time alone than in company, and so far I feel much more 'real' and good, as it should be.   Without  burning your eyes any further, that's where my argument ends.

Roxeg

Roxeg

 

Entry n 6 - My imperishable devotion

Good day readers, I feel in a really good mood today, and really energetic as well, so I'll take this chance to write about an issue which has troubled me a lot in the past years. If you haven't noticed yet, I'm a really big fan of Pokémon, since I was 4 I was really invested in the games and in the anime which I saw on TV along with my older cousin. And only when I turned 12 I noticed which Pokémon of them all my favourite was, it's Gardevoir of course.  The reason I chose Gardevoir as my signature favourite Pokémon is… well, there are many, but these two are the most important to me.  In first place: it's a Pokémon representing pure benevolence and goodwill. It is said in the games that this Pokémon will choose to become the guardian of its trainer, protecting him/her and sacrificing itself for the survival of others. This is an idea which fascinates me, it's really inspiring and when I think about it, it reminds me of my own philosophy. In second place: It's appearance and powers. It's no secret, Gardevoir looks extremely serene and gracious, most importantly, it's powers are amazing, it has many powerful telekinetic and telepathic abilities which it uses always for good, it can even ignore the force of gravity and create microscopic black holes as well! About it's appearance by the way, apparently an average Gardevoir shares the same height and weight with me, that's already a big coincidence, being honest. So where is the problem in all of this? In fact it's in the second reason I cited. It's appearance. The feminine look Gardevoir has makes everyone assume it's  only female, when it can be both male and female. (I don't have any problem with it being female, you'll understand now what I mean) This fact has turned this Pokémon into the most sexualized Pokémon I've ever seen, when I try to search on Google for an actual good picture or wallpaper of Gardevoir, half of the time I end up with hentai stuff, creepy montages and other pictures I find really disturbing having in mind what they're doing to a Pokémon which has such an important meaning to me. I don't want to hide in my room when I'm searching for Gardevoir, but I'm forced to most of the time because of the fear that someone might be looking at my screen and they might call me a pervert, it's really annoying to me and it's already happened. So annoying… I won't even talk about the fact that I own a Gardevoir plush, and when I first showed it to some of my friends, I'll let you guess what they thought of me. I'm really sick of it, and I don't blame people for having fantasies with a Pokémon, I blame people who don't know the facts.  I really identify myself in this Pokémon, I can't do anything about this, I hope this changes with time.   Thanks for reading this whole lot, I hope I made myself clear.

Roxeg

Roxeg

 

Early sketches

Good day to everyone, I'd just like to leave over here my most recent Pokémon drawing. It's none other than my favourite Pokémon Gardevoir, and I put a lot of work into it, and I'll make better versions of it in the future. Suddenly I feel a lot more comfortable drawing and writing poems, I just got two new hobbies in barely a week.

Roxeg

Roxeg

 

Entry nº5 - Is christmas worth it?

Good day 'deer' readers (quite a joke there, "deer"). It's the time of the year when the average person suddenly become generous, nice, caring, and many other positive characteristics. However when I recently thought about it, even if christmas used to be one of the moments of the year which I looked forward the most because it brings my family and friends together, it's kind of unfair in my opinion, and really unnecessary. I'm aware that it's supposed to be a religious celebration, but many non-religious families celebrate christmas to mimic the act of reuniting families, so here is my problem:                                                     (Some) People make an effort during this time of the year to become a better person,                                                        but why don't they keep the effort and become indefinitely better during the whole year? It's positive of course that people tend to behave better, at least for a little while, but what seems strange to me is the fact that they could keep the good behaviour all along the year. Here's my theory about it. Christmas often means presents and gifts, right? Little kids behave good to get presents from Santa, adults behave good to ease family tensions and to enjoy their time spent together, which means that while kids are purely interested in being good for their own interest, adults seek peace and to stop any quarrels. Again, my point is that they could just behave good the entire year and ease their problems even more effectively! Why wait until christmas to do something you know you could have done today? yesterday? in January right after your christmas celebration was over? This shows how inconsiderate some people are, or maybe they just haven't realized it. All this is mainly the reason why some people ask me "Why don't you act different? It's christmas?" when I have already been, since I noticed this, and it only makes their confusion grow. So what do I suggest as a permanent solution to this? Well of course I cannot go into everyone's mind and make them act like it's christmas the entire year, but I can at least try convincing people to act in better ways, not for their own interest in christmas, but rather for the interest of all, who wouldn't want a single entire year where everyone acted like they should? Generous, caring and respectful. In the end, christmas to me is only that moment of the year where people 'pretend' to be nice, only for their own benefits, of course some are good for real, but not enough. For this reason, I wish christmas didn't need to exist and people were good simply for their own empathy towards others. That's my view on the subject, I'm afraid many people disagree with me. Anyways, like I said on my profile, happy winter to everyone. (I'll reject saying merry christmas for the reasons I just explained). (By the way, if you didn't get the bad joke at the beginning, I was referencing reindeers which are often linked to christmas).

Roxeg

Roxeg

 

A different approach - Poetry

Good day (in actuality it's night time, but I'll just stick to my normal greeting), in this moment I'm going through something interesting in my mind, all of a sudden I felt a need to write a poem. I had never written a poem for need before, this was truly experimental and something I would have never expected to be doing. Here's the result.   An Optimistic Bridge   I'm not an obstacle, I'm a way over it, Why is it that people don't like each other? Aren't we all under the same sky after all?   Sometimes I think I'm surrounded only by dark thoughts, I used to think these thoughts rose from myself, Nevertheless, I am light, I am good, I was shadowed by the massive selfishness of the world   Where has the true goodwill gone? Why am I fighting it alone? Neutrality is being participant of what's being done Why not make use of your valuable skills for good?   No. Humans don't understand this, They are careless and use their skills for their own benefit, They might help others, but only when it later makes them a profit.   I'm at the limit between being myself and a mysanthrope, So why ain't I already? I know there's still centuries and millennia to overcome But somehow, I know it's all part of the great ilusion.   I'm not alone, I know people who are like me, That was a lie, I know no one who's like me. I just have the feeling that they try to be like me, It's good to be good and mimic someone like me.   And there ends what I had in mind at the moment.

Roxeg

Roxeg

 

Entry nº4 - Anime behaviours in real life

Good day to everyone, in this entry I'll be focusing on the behaviour of characters in anime, and how I portrait them, then ask the following question, would people in the real world, having their own lives at risk, do the same? Without further ado, here's the text:   A popular anime character behaviour is what I call the 'hyperactive lad/lass', and you know what kind of character I'm talking about, this one is always either playing dirty jokes on his/her fellows (with no bad intentions, just for the fun) or always yelling out loud to express any feeling, and that's very common, however I'm not sure if this gets so deep inside a viewer's mind that they reflect this behaviour, have you ever seen someone act like this constantly in real life? I personally haven't, but that's just probably because you know... I prefer to be alone at school and don't pay too much attention to the jerks I see. Another popular type of anime character is the jerk (which coincidentaly I just named before), this is the character who's always trying to be the coolest, and superior to the rest, sometimes even the protagonist is a jerk, and though it's hard to admit, it makes the evolution of the character's personality more interesting. So in the end I like how a mean protagonist gets new points of view from its adventures and starts seeing the world in new ways, making them more likely to change for better. *However*! I have never seen this in real life, not in my lifespan so far at least, from my experience, a buttface (because the only insult I use, I'm not used to swear) will remain behaving like the buttface they are for a pretty extended period of time, more than I'd like to admit. This shows that people in real life are mostly just careless about getting into interesting life-trips and trying to empathize with others, why would they after all? All they care for is themself and staying 'trendy and cool' like I said on my entry nº2. In the end, I wish more people were like this for real, and actually evolved mentally into someone respectable. I have noticed that in many animes, there's always that *one* character who shows common sense, leadership, generosity and bravery, and in some stories, this is a character who decides to sacrifice themself in order for others (the protagonist in particular) to continue their quest, giving their life in a memorable moment which usually marks an important place in the timeline. This type of character is my favourite, a benevolent in its pure form who would risk anything in order to repel a calamity, or sometimes even to prevent the death of a loved one, but I wonder however, do many people in real life act like this, even if this type of behaviour is supposed to encourage viewers to do follow their steps? Sure, many would say "Yeah of course, I'd do anything for my friends." But that's just talking, the important part of it is actually doing it when the situation arrives, would a friend get in the way of a bullet shot from a gunner in order to absorb the bullet, preventing it to get to the friend behind? If I had to answer this last question myself, I wouldn't be sure about it, it would obviously depend on who's the victim, how close I really am to him/her, and if I really deserve to take my own life instead of theirs. I will answer yes however, if the person in question is either X (not giving the real name, but it's someone I consider worthy of living and a very good friend) I would, I'd be willing to give my life, or at least be badly hurt in the place of X. This of course is the case supposing that X did not change into someone I would dislike, in that case of course I wouldn't.   Since I feel like this is incomplete, I might extend into a second part, but if the readers are satisfied with this, I'll just focus on something else.

Roxeg

Roxeg

 

Entry nº3 - Always on the move

Warning: this is a bit long, so make sure you have time before starting to read this, thank you and enjoy the reading.   Good day dear readers, I thought it would be a good time to talk about my first experience of moving away from the country I lived in, here's a long story made short:   The year 2004, during the summer (I was 4 years old at that moment) I had been told by my parents that we were going to go to another country (we were going to Sénégal in Africa), and of course I was really confused, I had no notion of what a country was ( I used to think Madrid was something on its own rather than being capital of Spain, lol), and even if I knew I would see black people for the first time, I even asked my mother if I would need to paint my skin black to fit with them, so I was really curious about what was going to happen next. When I arrived to Dakar, the capital of Sénégal, I was immediately stunned by the difference in the clothing people wore in the streets, the local language made no sense to me and I was trying to find anything in common with what I was used to in Spain, but nothing was similar enough for me to be comfortable at first. When I started going to school, I thought I'd be speaking Spanish as I always had, but I saw myself in a French kindergarten where I didn't understand either French, the local language (Wolof) and the English lessons, however I proved to be really interested in making friends and I easily learned French after a couple of months and I wasn't bad at English either. My experience there however wasn't very pretty, if you broke the rules to even the slightest you would be punished by a very strange way by the teachers, obviously something I had never seen before. The teacher's punishment consisted in ringing everyone to the courtyard, then after the other es made a circle around the punished, the teacher would start removing their clothes under their shirt, both for boys and girls. Indeed this made countless children cry, and I was scared that's it would happen to me, however I was surprised that when it was my turn to be punished like that (most probably for doing something stupid) it turned out really difficult to not cry,  but I managed to. As the kids who I thought were my friends laughed at me I closed my eyes and waited for time to pass, and so I 'passed' the punishment without really learning any lesson. Another way they would punish if you hit someone it's to force you to stand still and let the person you hit hit you back, so of course this happened to me too (because when I was a kid I couldn't really control that) and so I find myself in front of the poor kid I had hit really hard (irony, i barely touched him) and then the teacher yelling at him to strike me harder, and harder, and she saw I wouldn't complain, I would not let her please herself with my suffering, and so she gave up. I went to that school for two years, and for the following three years that I would yet spend in Dakar I was brought to an American school, it's called International School of Dakar and sometimes I visit its website to see how it has changed since I left. An American school means learning more English and less French, and after the first year I was already trilingual at the age of 7, which can be considered like the trait of someone really lucky. I remember I had few friends at first, a girl and a Senegalese boy, and the next year I was really lucky and came upon a couple of Spanish kids who were also going to that school, and since I was older than them and spoke English better than them I always defended them when someone bullied them, and I dare say I'm proud of doing that. The American school was also a great experience and I have tens of good memories I still remember, and it's something not many children experience in their lives so I consider myself really lucky to have had the chance to live in a different context than the world others are used to. After five long but happy years, I returned to Spain and what follows is a story for another day.

Roxeg

Roxeg

 

Entry nº2 -My chaotic class

Good day to everyone, this is my second post on my newborn blog, today I want to write about some of the things I dislike the most about my classmates in a way that will be as subtle as I can manage to make it. So here it is:   In my current class we are 21 students, of which I find only three are worthy of being respected, for different reasons, but it all merges into a single point of view -> mine. First, my class is composed mainly of cheaters. Some cheat more often than others, but they still do. In every exam as soon as they have a chance because the teacher turns his back for 5 seconds or leaves the room to answer a call, the first thing they do is start sharing answers, looking at their phones, even saying the answers out loud, and this tremendously troubles me, I did not ask for any kind of help, what I answer them when they ask me why I don't do like them, is that I'd rather get a terrible grade that I got on my own, before having a perfect grade that belongs to someone in the internet, and this part of me being so honest has got me into some trouble already so far. Is it that bad to try to stay honest with myself and my teachers? Of course when these people cheat their way through tests, their parents are happy. They get anything they want since they're just an 'average teen' to them, but they don't seem to understand that that's wrong. From my point of view, the average teen doesn't give a crap about their studies, only searching for attention so they can feel important in the world, I say different, if I wanted to be important (to be important is very different from feeling important) in the world I know I would have to earn it, either by doing great things worthy of renown such as scientific discoveries, or participating in cruxial historical events like some organisations do, and that's what makes a difference between an average teen and me. Why is it attractive to be important in the first place? Maybe they think they will be admired for having thousands of followers on stuff like instagram after posting whatever's trending at the time, but what do they really achieve? Anyone can make a trend, and they're not exactly beneficial when it comes to advancing technology, for example -> those trousers which are half torn apart, what use do they have? it's not elegant and unnecessary in my opinion, it's the wish to be different from others to get attention, like I said earlier. On the other side, when I said 'anyone can make a trend', I can also say 'anyone can be important', they just need a valid reason, like some I mentioned earlier. Being famous on the Internet is all right for me, depending on the reason why this person is famous, but I'm going too far from my point now. Back to my class: What makes people so selfish? Why constantly try to humiliate others and trying to feel superior? (which by the way, feeling superior to someone because they dress 'unfashionable' is complete bull crap). So in the end, since I see this everywhere I go, I start to assume this is what the real 'average future potential leader of the world society' looks like, a brat without manners who doesn't even deserve the place they have in the first place. Is this not a reason to be worried? I really think it is, and I'm really happy to still find people who have common sense, fortunately I know some of you are here, and the others are scattered, put aside by the 'cool ones', sometimes I wish I could snap my fingers and all of this to vanish instantly, this is where the problem comes from. It's called -> Greed.

Roxeg

Roxeg

 

Entry nº1 - A proper introduction

Good day all, I would like to formerly reintroduce myself to everyone reading, since that should get your attention. Roxeg is my nickname, and I'm from Spain, though I've lived for longer in different countries, I'll enter in more details below. I'm 17 years old and will be turning 18 the 13th of April, so there's my birthdate already. I was born in Spain, but I moved when I was 4 to Sénégal (west Africa) and stayed there for five years, I promise to give many more details in the future, in an entry of it's own where I'll talk about how I lived there. Later in 2012 I moved to Turkey and I've been living here since, though I plan leaving the country for my studies in 2019. I currently speak 3 languages, Spanish, French and English (I have a mix of British and American accent) and I'm also learning German at school (I go to a French school). I also know a few sentences in Japanese and I can count up to 99. That's all I have to say for now concerning languages. I am an only child (no siblings) and I have 6 cousins, two on my mother's side and 4 on my father's side, though I would have liked having a brother or a sister, apparently I've got used with being alone when I'm staying in foreign countries, since I only get to see my other cousins in Summer and Winter (which means soon). I consider myself an optimistic person, always looking at the bright side of everything, no matter how bad the situation is, this has in actuality led me to become the person I am today and I do not regret refusing to give up in many moments of my life, when I could've. As I've said a couple of times already in my posts, I'm an introvert, and I don't feel comfortable when I'm in a group of too many people who are different to me (in personality), so at school I'm 95% of the time alone, walking by myself thinking about anything that needs to be thought. Lately I've got the feeling that I'm slowly losing one of my best friends at school, he knows I'm not very open to meeting too many people at once and talking to them and however he still decided to spend more time with a new group of people that I don't find myself compatible with, fortunately at the same time I feel I'm getting slightly closer to my other best friend, who's been with me since the second year after I arrived here. My favourite colour is red, since I was little it hasn't changed (I'm obviously not the only). WhileI was writing this part, I just out my name in Japanes equals: ジョージ , it's pronounced Jooji and  I think it sounds pretty funny, I might even start asking people to call me by that sometimes. I'm incredibly fond of science, my favourite domains being astronomy, chemistry and biology. I'm really good in astronomy and a bit of quantum physics, so I dare say I have a scientific personality attached to me, it really fascinates me overall. Now I'm staring at my laptop wondering what else I can add, well I suppose I'll let my readers decide on what they're curious about (if at all), so I'm going to end this here, and I wish you all a great day.

Roxeg

Roxeg

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