Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
  • entries
    10
  • comments
    54
  • views
    1,092

Guys And Weird Mistakes

SoullessMarshmallow

743 views

Hello everyone! I know it's been a while since I've posted, but for the past week, I couldn't get this off my mind. 

So, I can't stop thinking about this guy. 

And, that's absolutely crazy for me. Like, how can I possibly be thinking about a guy I met just last week?! Well, um, I mean we text everyday. Often. And it's not even me who texts him first! And um, well, we talk for a while. At least an hour everyday. Nice chats. Very nice chats. He's really funny, and he offers to help me with homework when he learned that my school's curriculum is extremely behind in math. He once tried to convince me to go attend public school (he currently attends one), or even switch this year, and he's fun to text. He's not bothersome, he seems mature, and he gets my sense of humor (as eccentric as it may be). He sounds really smart, and from the short amount (or perhaps long?) of time that we've talked, it seems that he tries to give different views for different situations, and I'm not sure... AGH! I don't know how to handle this T_T 

It's been... a while since someone drove me this crazy. I don't even know if I like him! I mean, maybe I do since I think of him often? but I mean, I think of my friends often too! But I mean, I can't possibly like him since we've known each other for just a week! That's insane! I'm Insane! Oh god, what if he actually thinks I'm insane? Oh my gosh how do I handle this? 

Okay okay, maybe I should give some backstory. 

We met through a mutual friend during an orchestra rehearsal last Saturday, and we exchanged snapchats, League accounts, and phone numbers after the concert. He texts me everyday without fail, and everyday, we talk for at least an hour. Well, at least for the past week. And he's almost all I can think about. And I'm pretty sure I'm insane, because it's just insane to be thinking about a guy I've only met for a week. He teases me for my height, and asks me to play League, and it's really nice and I'm not sure how to handle it. 

But last night, I think I really screwed its up. 

We were talking again, not a big surprise. And he started teasing me for my height again, and of course, I get super tsundere when people do that. Then he said, 

"So this is the tsundere personality you told me about in All County, huh?"

And like the idiot I am, my brain just LEFT ME and I said something really stupid. 

"Well, I'm not actually a tsundere."

LIKE WHAT YES I AM A TSUNDERE WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MYSELF. 

and then we went on a huge conversation about how he thought fort the last week I've been pranking him that I was a tsundere by acting like a tsundere when I actually acted like how I would usually act. And then he started to say things like "Wait, so then you must like it when I tease you, right?" And then I panicked, I told him I was going to bed, and the last thing I saw him write was, "SO YOU SLEEP TO AVOID YOUR PROBLEMS" And I have no idea if he was joking or not, but I know he didn't mean to be mean, just blatantly realistic, and uh, yeah. Like, I feel like maybe.. oh god how do I explain this? 

Well, he's not necessarily wrong that I do sleep to avoid a lot of my problems, which, I know, isn't a healthy decision, but what I'm hoping is that I'm worried he's beginning to see through me when I know nothing about him? Maybe I'm just really bad at being supportive, or I just suck at trying to get to know people in real life.. I think I'm worried I'm going to have to open up, but technically, I'm the only one who can make myself open up, but if he actually sits me down today and asks me about my sleeping habits honestly and really wants to know what's going on with me, I don't want to lie either, so do I cover it up for now or do I just let it all spill out? But maybe he'll just find me weird if I tell him about everything, but I was planning on just opening up little by little, and this is really overwhelming me and I'm probably just overthinking everything, but I'm not sure what else to do at this point except overthink because he's just.. No, that's actually impossible. I've only known him for a week, and I can't possibly like someone who I've only known for a week. He probably thinks I'm insane and weird - no, he definitely thinks that. Oh god, I just messed it up for myself. 

I'm just so worried, you know? it's been such a long time since this has happened to me, and the last time I let my feelings out there, it just led to a really unhealthy relationship. I forced myself to open up and do everything to please my partner, but I just ended up destroying myself and all of my relationships. I... I want to change, and I always thought I grew from that situation. But now that I'm thrown back into this crazy rollercoaster again, am I doing the right thing? Am I forcing to do things I don't want to? Am I forcing this guy to do things he doesn't want to? Do I feel comfortable? Have I really changed? I know I've only known him for a week, but, I get really cautious when anyone - may it be potential partners, new friends, or old friends who're trying to get close with me again - try to open me up. It's stressful, and I don't want to go down the same unhealthy road once more. One time was enough. I don't need to do it again, and I don't want to bring someone along with me. 

I think I'm also scared that if I do open up, he'll either abandon me completely and never talk to me, or he stays and he tries to help. I'm scared of the only two possibilities that could happen, because if he just books out (which, I wouldn't blame him for. He has his own problems to take care of), it'll take forever for me to get over it, and it'll always be in the back of my mind how I'm just a stupid girl who's looking for people to dump her problems on. but if he stays, I'm just gonna drag him along on this insane road of my stupid problems and my slowly deteriorating mental state. And It might affect him too. 

Either road is a bad road, because I'm still very selfish. And I don't even know if I'm ready for a relationship again. Will I be able to handle the responsibility of being someone's girlfriend again? I don't even know if he's ready for a relationship. Maybe we're still just immature children looking for someone to accept them for who they are. Maybe we're just meant to be friends and support each other in the long run. Maybe this is a one time thing I get for still hanging in there. Maybe this is the last time we'll talk and I'll never actually see or talk to him again. Maybe he really does think I'm a weird, eccentric girl. Maybe he thinks I'm the weirdest girl he's met. I'd definitely think that if I met me. Maybe he doesn't care for me at all, and I'm just an afterthought to text when he has no one else to text. 

But maybe, even though I've known him for only a week, maybe things could happen. Maybe healthy things could happen. Maybe this could become something.

I mean, he's not a bad person, so it's not entirely impossible. Right?

I mean, I guess I kinda like him.



9 Comments


Recommended Comments

You're quite on the spot right now indeed, you've entered a very complicated room, the lack of information of the person you apparently like prevents you from theorizing about how they see you, and now you're scared that they think of you in a way that would hurt you, that's happened to me so I know what you're going through. In this case what I did to get out of that situation was just return to normality, return to talking as usual in an attempt to make the other person comfortable with you again, and if that does not work, then it means you're honestly done for (especially having met just a week ago, but anything is possible so keep positive about that :) ). 

This kind of feeling is amongst the most complicated you'll ever experience in life, I've talked about this before, 'regret'. You'd do anything to repair whatever you've done wrong, and that's what you need to focus on, if he thinks you're out of your mind or playing on him, clear it out before it gets any worse (if it can be worse). That's what I would do, at least, and as your friend I really mean this, if you feel like this person is someone you could have a future with, don't hesitate, it would be dumb to let such a chance escape your grasp, you have to stick to it until everything is clear for both of you. So, again, calm down about this because getting nervous over it will absolutely not help a bit, it will only grow until you become insane for real (it almost happened to me). Just wait until he messages you today, if he's been doing so for a week and he really has an interest in you, he wouldn't give up on you so easily either, would he? I definitley wouldn't.

If for whatever reason he won't message you, then you should consider getting over this bump as quickly as possible before it troubles your mind harshly like it happened to me, it's an unbearable feeling and I'd never wish you to feel the same, so you'll need to evolve soon. 

That's all the counsel I could handle to give, I do hope this mud from my mind is useful in any way. As always, stay optimistic but beware of the odds. By the way, isn't it funny that you're going through exactly what I went through recently? Life's strange for sure.

Edited by Roxeg
  • Agree 1

Share this comment


Link to comment

@SoullessMarshmallow I obviously don't know this guy personally, but myself and most guys that I've know/been friends with over the years aren't really that complicated. If you really enjoy being with this guy I'd backtrack (when you're ready) and just simply apologize about not saying the truth including how you felt/why you did it. Though with this telling him how you felt/feel play down how you may be feeling if the thought was 'I f***ing love you!' or 'I feel incomplete without you!' because this may intimidate him if he doesn't quite feel the same way. 'I had no idea what I was saying. But by the time I had said it I was too embarrassed to correct myself.' or something similar might help lead the conversation in the direction you need.

Also, don't worry too much about what this guy might be thinking. I'm guessing you're in high school and honestly 95% of guys at that age are dipshits (excuse my French) And are just as stressed about talking with you as you are with talking with them. Don't stress about what he thinks about you, as long as you are being yourself, and things will most likely turn out for the better.:D

  • Agree 2
  • Informative 1
  • Winner 1

Share this comment


Link to comment
On 2/9/2018 at 9:35 AM, Roxeg said:

You're quite on the spot right now indeed, you've entered a very complicated room, the lack of information of the person you apparently like prevents you from theorizing about how they see you, and now you're scared that they think of you in a way that would hurt you, that's happened to me so I know what you're going through. In this case what I did to get out of that situation was just return to normality, return to talking as usual in an attempt to make the other person comfortable with you again, and if that does not work, then it means you're honestly done for (especially having met just a week ago, but anything is possible so keep positive about that :) ). 

This kind of feeling is amongst the most complicated you'll ever experience in life, I've talked about this before, 'regret'. You'd do anything to repair whatever you've done wrong, and that's what you need to focus on, if he thinks you're out of your mind or playing on him, clear it out before it gets any worse (if it can be worse). That's what I would do, at least, and as your friend I really mean this, if you feel like this person is someone you could have a future with, don't hesitate, it would be dumb to let such a chance escape your grasp, you have to stick to it until everything is clear for both of you. So, again, calm down about this because getting nervous over it will absolutely not help a bit, it will only grow until you become insane for real (it almost happened to me). Just wait until he messages you today, if he's been doing so for a week and he really has an interest in you, he wouldn't give up on you so easily either, would he? I definitley wouldn't.

If for whatever reason he won't message you, then you should consider getting over this bump as quickly as possible before it troubles your mind harshly like it happened to me, it's an unbearable feeling and I'd never wish you to feel the same, so you'll need to evolve soon. 

That's all the counsel I could handle to give, I do hope this mud from my mind is useful in any way. As always, stay optimistic but beware of the odds. By the way, isn't it funny that you're going through exactly what I went through recently? Life's strange for sure.

Thank you for he kind words. He has indeed messages me several times when I shut my phone off from panic and embarrassment haha ^^ Life is strange. 

  • Optimistic 1

Share this comment


Link to comment

First. It is insane that he wants you to switch schools after having just met. 

 

Other than that, avoid dating anyone you haven't known in a platonic relationship first. You need to know each other before you start going down that road. What dirty secrets are in his closet? If he spends that much time teasing you, what insecurities is he covering up?

 

My personal rule was never to date anyone that I felt I wouldn't marry. Yes, that's a tall order, but it helped prevent me from wasting my time and theirs with a relationship that would really go nowhere. If more people approached dating in that manner I do think more relationships would work out. If you're too young to get married and have kids, then honestly you are too young and immature to date. And no, folks, I'm not a granny. I'm only 32 and it worked out great for me ;)  I might be an outlier for my generation, but things worked out pretty swell. Give your brain some time to come down from that neurotransmitter high so you can think clearly again.

 

And yes, I'm pretty blunt lol.

  • Agree 1

Share this comment


Link to comment
8 hours ago, SoullessMarshmallow said:

Thank you for he kind words. He has indeed messages me several times when I shut my phone off from panic and embarrassment haha ^^ Life is strange. 

Plus: if you're lucky enough with this boy, you might have someone to spend valentines with (♥ω♥*) 

Edited by Roxeg
  • Funny 1

Share this comment


Link to comment
22 hours ago, Beocat said:

First. It is insane that he wants you to switch schools after having just met. 

 

Other than that, avoid dating anyone you haven't known in a platonic relationship first. You need to know each other before you start going down that road. What dirty secrets are in his closet? If he spends that much time teasing you, what insecurities is he covering up?

 

My personal rule was never to date anyone that I felt I wouldn't marry. Yes, that's a tall order, but it helped prevent me from wasting my time and theirs with a relationship that would really go nowhere. If more people approached dating in that manner I do think more relationships would work out. If you're too young to get married and have kids, then honestly you are too young and immature to date. And no, folks, I'm not a granny. I'm only 32 and it worked out great for me ;)  I might be an outlier for my generation, but things worked out pretty swell. Give your brain some time to come down from that neurotransmitter high so you can think clearly again.

 

And yes, I'm pretty blunt lol.

Haha, I know right?!

 

Of course, I totally agree with you. That's what I was planning on doing first. And don't worry - it's just harmless teasing ^^ Nothing that would signal any insecurities, really. 

 

It's a good rule, and totally respectable. I have to disagree with you own the young and immature thing, though. Now, I won't argue that I'm mature enough (because really, is anyone at my age?), but I will say that I think it's a good practice for serious relationships or even marriage. Knowing how these things work first hand help me more than just putting it off to the side for a later date. I know that some things in relationships (ex. sex n stuff) should definitely be saved for a later date, I think if the relationship is pretty innocent, there's no harm in it ^_^ It helps you find what you want in a partner, helps find yourself, and again, lets you know how relationships work and what you can do to make your current (or future) relationship better ^_^ Of course, that doesn't mean it's okay to just throw yourself one relationship after the other. I mean it as in you find someone you think you're compatible with, and, well you know, give it a shot ^_^ Definitely. I had to take a few days off, hehe. 

 

Blunt is good! Makes your comments much more genuine, especially compliments ^_^ 

  • Agree 1

Share this comment


Link to comment

I-I-I know how y-you f-fee-feel. I-I-I-I'm literally s-s-suffer-suffering from thinking t-too m-m-much about t-t-this g-g-guy I met... At school. I mean, yeah, he talks to me online, but in real life all he does is STARE. AT. ME. I mean, I confessed and got rejected by him, and I still like him, but want to be friends only. But I guess he doesn't even think of me as a friend. And... I should submit a new entry about this.

Gomen ne! I got no advice. Just came to check this out, and for some reason I started to type my story too. PLEASE DON'T BE MAD, @SoullessMarshmallow-san!!!

Share this comment


Link to comment
4 hours ago, AniMeFReaK said:

I-I-I know how y-you f-fee-feel. I-I-I-I'm literally s-s-suffer-suffering from thinking t-too m-m-much about t-t-this g-g-guy I met... At school. I mean, yeah, he talks to me online, but in real life all he does is STARE. AT. ME. I mean, I confessed and got rejected by him, and I still like him, but want to be friends only. But I guess he doesn't even think of me as a friend. And... I should submit a new entry about this.

Gomen ne! I got no advice. Just came to check this out, and for some reason I started to type my story too. PLEASE DON'T BE MAD, @SoullessMarshmallow-san!!!

Ne, why would I be mad at you? ^_^ thats totally cool! I’ll check yours out as well ^^

  • Friendly 1

Share this comment


Link to comment
Guest VioletDraco

Posted

I mean no matter how dreadful a situation is with the person you love just remember that you're lucky to have ever met them in the first place.

 

Share this comment


Link to comment

Anime Forums

A unique community of fans from around the world, who gather to share their fandom and love of anime, manga, gaming, fanart and at the cornerstone of it all, Japanese culture!

Take a moment to join us today and you'll have access to our member clubs and events too. Come join in the fun and become a part of our community.
insta-1

twit
×
×
  • Create New...