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My romance life needs help!


Otaku

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Hello anime loves and otakus! Today we have a crisis if you have read the title todays topic is my romance life and it's a mess.

Now as a shut in that still goes to school I had made some friends and joined a club to try and make some friends to discuss anime with. Now this year I made a friend that recommended me to watch "Death Note" so I watched it and gave them an update with screenshots of me watching it so we could discuss their favorite show. This is how it started. 

Now here is where we are now:

Our other 2 friends constantly say we would look good in a relationship because we like similar things and can talk easily. 

We go out and hang out almost every week. 

We hug and hold hands in the hallways and out side of school. 

AND we tried dating before (for 1 day) but they said they where not ready. which is okay to have boundaries but LITARLY we are the exact same as before and I think we still have feelings for each other. Like I get it, it can be hard to be in a relationship you are not ready for but we are basically dating. 

I don't know how I got in this Rom-Com anime-esk plot but please make it have a good ending. 

Today they seemed less cheerfully then they usually are they said something about their phone but I could care less I just want to see them smiling again. No matter what I do I thought it would be easy to not think about them but every little thing reminds me of them. Even when I binge anime I think of them. Because of my past I did not think I could feel this way but I do and I don't know how to work through it because all I want to do right now is make them happy and I don't know how. I want to ask them about out relationship dynamic and see what we can do or when we could go to a café or a bookstore together but they keep saying they have plans. I don't know if it's because I'm taking up too much of their time or they don't like me anymore this has all happened within like the past month.

I thought I would be okay with not being in a relationship with them but I don't know anymore, I don't even want to do anything all I want to do is hug them and call them mine, Like I'm shy about other things. Every time I'm near them I want to smile so hard my cheeks hurt. when we hold hands I get all nervous whist they seem so cool with it. I can't even do school work without thinking about them. I want to tell them how I feel but I'm scared to loose our friendship, its like a delicate rose waiting to be picked but it has thorns. 

I don't know what to do guys, I thought maybe I would not feel this way anymore I have not in years. Please reply if you have advice to give about this or romance in general. Thanks for reading and I  promise I will post something on reviewing an anime I'm studying it right now. See you in the next one thanks for reading!

K On GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY This is how my heart feels. Fuwa Fuwa. 

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You have a girlfriend and you hold hands and hug, you're a fortunate person. I never got that far in school or out of it, no one wanted me as their boyfriend, and I don't see that changing now.  I did go out with a girl twice, but neither occasion was really what you'd call a date and nothing came of the relationship.  So I hope your relationship improves and you move on together.

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I'm going to be brutally honest with you, and I'd like for you to consider that because life can be terrible and unfair, people providing a harsh and unwanted outcome as the end result is not always a rude or inappropriate thing to do. I don't know you at all, but I have zero reason to want you sad or upset. This is intended to be helpful, with the hopeful outcome that you can sit back and take a much-needed deep breath, and exhale with a new strength.

It sounds to me like you are both in high school (correct me if I'm wrong of course), which means that neither of you have even a fully developed brain. For women it's earlier but for a guy it's around the age of 25. This of course does not mean that you have to be these ages to enter a serious relationship, but in your teen years in the high school time frame your mind and body is undergoing so many changes that it's impossible to keep up with it all. Serious romantic relationships at this age are very difficult and even more volatile. The chances of both of you being able to weather this part of your life together and come out a couple in love are very, very low. There are an innumerable amount of things that will happen in your lives over the next few years that will not only change your priorities in life, but also simply what you like and dislike. Things you may find out about her that aren't particularly things you'd want to deal with in a life long mate. All of this is natural, and good, because it encourages growth for both of you. Those ugly buds that produce a flower. This is where I'll begin the "I feel your pain part", because I really do.

I spent a little over a year being the third wheel where my friend was dating a girl that I was head over heels for. She and I were close enough that if there were issues in their relationship she would talk to me about it. I don't think I can describe how much pressure my chest had after about 14 or so months of that. It was wrenching. It's like your mind has fixated on something and is dragging your body along with it and there isn't much you can do about it. I finally told her how I felt, and to no surprise the friendship ended. I thought I would be devastated, and at first it was quite the terrible ordeal. A few weeks went by and it began to make a little more sense. You either hang on to false hope while suffering in silence, or end a relationship that had become toxic to you with someone you would have never been able to see as "just a friend" anyway. Neither options are great and wonderful, but at least the second one lifted the dumbbell off my chest, and allowed me to move forward.

When you are young you are learning what love really is. The same as when children emulate their parents with their toys and act out various household scenarios (playing house and cooking with toy kitchen sets, for example), we emulate adult relationships in our teen years. Coupled with hormones that make us super self-aware and doubting in our abilities. Not a fun combination. There is one thing though that never changes in this type of situation, and that is the truth about how you feel. You may not even be correct, but that's okay, that's what we have people around us for, so we can express our thoughts, feelings, and ideas to friends that we trust and let our bad ideas die and embrace the ones that positively affect us and those around us in the most equal measure that is possible. Tell her how you feel, and with polite boldness, too. Let her know she's special to you above everyone else in that school. If she's a worthy goal then it will proportionately be risky, as all worthy goals are. Your life is an adventure that should be embraced. Since we all like anime here, picture yourself watching you as the main character and for an entire season he just won't tell the lead female character how he feels. Frustrating, right? Be honest, with her and yourself. I learned a long time ago that telling the truth is a scary and yet fun thing to do, believe it or not. When you tell the truth about yourself and your feelings, you live with less guilt, doubt, and stress. People around you will also begin to respond to you as someone sturdy and reliable, knowing yourself and what you want out of life. See if she responds to that, and regardless of how it goes, face the next stage with courage, knowing that no matter what life throws your way, you've learned a very useful skill to make the next round a little less difficult.

All the absolute best.

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What you say is true and makes a lot of sense.

I've been retired now for several years and while I am a bit sad that  I've never had a proper girlfriend and remain single and live alone, I have had, and still have, some good friends which I've spent, and still spend, good times with.  I would have liked to have had a Special Person to share my life with but I've come to realise that being single isn't the end of the world.

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Thanks for the advice and I think it might be best to remain friends with them, and try to move on. They like another person in one of our shared classes. It's also complicated beyond the ways we are. Thank you guys so much and I wish you the best.   

K-On! Appreciation Thread - Page 4

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Some view being single as a failure, but you could easily say that being single is the avoidance of a contentious home should you rush and pick the wrong mate.

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