*breathes in deep and exhales softly* I feel clam and content right now at them moment and it feels.. good. I broke down yesterday and even worse last night and yes some of you saw it or I've spoken too for help and advice about the matter. It wasn't my perfect moment and I was out of it and was lost in my own thoughts of the past. But..form the aid of others including my family I pulled through and came out back into reality and just accepted what happened, learned from it, and now moving on from it. It will be tough still and will also be a slow process but I'm willing to keep pushing and like Dory says: "Just keep swimming." I really appreciate everyone who has helped me and without there aid that night I'd still be lost in the past overwhelmed with my emotions and once again in the dark alone. I just feel better and clam today, since all the advice given to me makes sense and I just need to let go and move forward in life and not backwards. Sad that the friendship ended and I know I made mistakes and I really own up to them. But I still just wish it could of worked but they had to do what they had to do and thought what was right. I guess I just hoped for a different solution about the matter than what it turned out. But it is what it is. I realized have more support than I thought even though some people I speak to are busy with there lives which is understandable but still when we do speak they listen and try to help all they can for me. I appreciate it so much. We will see what happens from now on and always will keep my head held high and most of all continue on my journey to live life to the fullest even with a smile. Take one day at a time as my father would say. That's all I can do. Eventually I'll get where I need to be.