I did something a little strange with my profile~

I turned my profile into an old-school adventure game, so like, if you're feeling bored or want something to play around with for a half an hour, click in and check it out.

 

No, I'm not crazy. I didn't just do this for no apparent reason. Someone (@zoop) dared me to do it! Well, I can never actually back down from a challenge, so I wrote it out, the whole damn thing. Along the way, I discovered that profiles are restricted to only 20,000 characters and the site is VERY particular about this (Optic is going to love his error log, lol). No worries, I had a pair of scissors handy.

 

*collapses into a puddle*

 

What have I done... Let me know if you play, through; maybe I'll make another if it's amusing.

I gotta play this.

Cy~, you magnificent bastard... I READ YOUR BOOK!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJXKVOxqkWM

Edited May 31, 2017 by Guest

I gotta play this.

 

Yes, please~ I would love any feedback, too, particularly if I missed any typos or grammatical errors. I did this in a blazing rush of typing over just two days, with today spent frantically cutting out about 15% of the story so I could make it fit. (I cried tears and swore with every other paragraph snipped, lol. :'()

I already failed! *cries*

 

Okie dokie, time to try again!

I already failed! *cries*

 

Okie dokie, time to try again!

 

Cy~ absolutely lost it when I read this out loud to her.

Edited May 31, 2017 by Guest

I.....failed again? But I did good?

That's a confusing ending, but I like it!

I.....failed again? But I did good?

That's a confusing ending, but I like it!

 

Glad that you're enjoying it!

Whaaaaat, how did I get the same ending! Okay, that was clever. I'm determined to find the right path gosh darn it!

You tricky, tricky girl @Cy~

I hope you make more ^-^

Imma play this cuz why not. lol.

You tricky, tricky girl @Cy~

I hope you make more ^-^

 

Omg, I have no words for how happy it makes me that you actually enjoyed this thing! (o^.^o)

 

 

Like, seriously, thank you so much for playing and for actually telling me that it was amusing. This may sound super silly, but I more or less live to entertain, hahaha. Considering this, there are very few things that make me happier than knowing that I was able to brighten someone's day or at least provide a brief escape.

 

I'm actually in recovery from burning out from a little too much roleplaying. I ran my own roleplays - epic stories in imaginary worlds, and I kept at it for about 5 years. I wrote over 1.5 million words in those things, then I realized that I was constantly miserable from writing so much with no one really appreciating it.

 

Players tended to view running the roleplay as my "job". Outside of a precious core group of friends, a lot of the other people that I interacted with were assholes. Then, it turned out that a few of my so-called friends were actually jerks as well, but they talked about me behind my back rather than to my face. Well, like the intensely emo bitch that I am , I burned everything and ran away, all broken apart into tiny pieces :'(.

 

Umm, that got waayyy off-topic. What I *meant* to say was, yeah, I am actually super impressed by the number of people that crunched through this, here on the site. I actually get really, really anxious when I'm not writing fiction at least five times a week, so there's lots of opportunities for making a sequel. Errr... Though, I am actually writing a few other things atm, too, so it probably will take a little bit for me to get around to.

 

Hmmm, uhh, this is getting way too long, but I guess I could make a topic here in forum games, later on, to archive these stories in.

I actually just redid my profile, completely, to turn it into a real "About Me".

 

I still want to keep this goofy creation somewhere, though, soooo here it is, archived for your convenience -

 

[spoiler=Begin]

Hello there! Welcome to my profile. I have something to tell you before you go any further. This profile is a little different. It's a game, interactive fiction. At the end, if you do everything right, you get a prize! You’ll get to read my actual profile.

 

BTW, one last thing. Please don’t cheat.

 

[spoiler=Start Here!]

You find yourself in a dark, narrow hallway. It smells dusty. When was the last time someone was here? A dim light flickers on, highlighting the silhouette of a small, caped figure. It stands, casting a shadow that seems a few feet too long for its size.

 

The caped figure speaks, with a childlike, imperious voice, “Greetings wanderer! Undoubtedly, you have arrived here in my domain, hoping to learn more about the strange squiggly creature known as Cy~. I am happy to tell you all that I know, but I have a task for you, first - one that you can either accept or decline.”

 

“If you accept, then I will tell you all of the secrets of Cy~. If you don’t accept, then that’s fine. No big deal. I just won’t tell you a single thing. Isn’t this a good deal? Oh, just one more thing. I won’t tell you the task until after you accept it. Why should I? It would be pointless!”

 

“So, what will you do? Will you play this game with me?”

 

[spoiler=Sure!]

The light in the background seems to glow brighter. You see something, a strange glint. Is the caped figure grinning? The glint shines. It is definitely a grin. The shadow on the floor lurches lazily towards you. You take a step back and lose your balance, falling over something. You don’t hit the floor. You tumble through it, landing on your feet in another hallway, one that is decisively less dusty.

 

You are alone in a place of immaculate cleanliness. It’s quite bright. You squint your eyes and wait for them to adjust. The walls, the ceiling, the floor - they’re all metallic and they sparkle vibrantly. Wiring conduits line the walls. You can see two sealed doors, one on your left and one right, there could be more, further down the hall…

 

Something pokes the side of your leg, HARD.

 

You look down and see the caped figure from earlier. With her hood down, you can see that she’s just a child and not a very large one. She has a tanned complexion. Her hair is a rich shade of purple, held in a single ponytail. Her eyes are shades of black with just the smallest hint of red, like two simmering coals.

 

It’s a little hard to tell, but she seems to be wearing a black dress underneath her cape. There are at least 4 or 5 different piercings in her ears, all with some variety of red and black jewelry. Her gloved hand is perched on her hip. The nails are black, long. She looks at you sharply, sizing you up.

 

The dark eyes lock onto your face, and, finally, she speaks. “Hello human, I hope you don’t mind my appearance. This is actually my first time taking this form.” She smiles. “I think I could grow to like it.” The smile vanishes. “I guess the custom is to introduce myself. My name is Keepsake… Well, I guess that’s what my name would be if I was a human.”

 

She gestures at you. “Speaking of which, I have brought you here because my understanding is that humans are good at investigations. I read this once in an old book, actually. There was a human in it with a strange name and a funny looking piece of hair on his face. It was all curly, I think…” Keepsake seems lost in thought.

 

“Well, I can’t remember much more than that, so I guess I should just tell you why we’re here. I am one of the guardians of Void. This place, where we are right now, is one of our mobile outposts. We stopped receiving signals from it a while ago, and I am hoping to find out what happened… This is my first investigation by myself, so… I…” She blushes. “I was hoping to get some help, that’s all.”

 

She takes a deep breath, the blush vanishes. “Anyway, let’s get going. There were only two crew members for this outpost - a captain and an investigator like myself. Which should we investigate first?” Keepsake stares up at you.

 

> TO INVESTIGATE THE CAPTAIN, GO TO SPOILER #1

 

> TO INVESTIGATE THE INVESTIGATOR, GO TO SPOILER #2

 

 

 

[spoiler=Nope!]

You can’t quite see through the darkness, but the caped figure seems stunned by your declaration. A silence lingers. Their shoulders slump visibly. The shadow seems to slump as well? The silence continues. A faint glinting disrupts the light. A tear? A grin? Something else…

 

“Oh. That’s… That’s everything, then?” More silence. “You know, I was rather hoping that you would play with me, but if you don’t want to, then I suppose there is nothing further… I guess I could have made that introduction more interesting?” More silence. “I feel bad about this. I had hoped… Well, I would not have minded… I mean, we could have even become friends… I guess this is goodbye then…”

 

The darkness swirls and you find yourself back, back in front of your computer. The hallway is gone. The caped figure is gone. You are left as you were, as you have always been. The only trace of your momentary adventure is the lingering smell of dust, the scent of sadness hovering around you like a mist.

 

Is this really what you wanted?

 

 

 

 

 

[spoiler=SPOILER #1]

She nods energetically. “I like the way you think! One of the first things that I learned as an investigator is to start at the top!”

 

Keepsake takes the lead and you follow her down the hall. She opens the door on the left that you had seen earlier. The two of you enter the room. It’s small, well kept, well organized. You can see a desk with some kind of computer and a stack of books on it. The computer has no keyboard. The books are written in an alien text.

 

There’s a bed pushed up against the wall in the far corner. A small box sits next to it, on a small white platform, with a large red button on top. Some writing is on the side of the box; it looks almost like a warning, though you can’t make out what it says. A half-empty shelf sits next to the desk. As Keepsake wanders by it, the computer monitor turns on and images flash across.

 

“Well, it doesn’t look like there was anything wrong here… These logs look… Very good…” Her dark eyes flicker red. “They look too good. This doesn’t make any sense. There are logs here from just a few hours ago… But, this place is…” She’s interrupted by the sound of something small sliding back and forth. A disk-shaped metallic object floats out of the wall and starts cleaning the floor.

 

“This place is too clean for this stuff to be real.” She raises an eyebrow. “I don’t think anyone has been here recently except for us. What do you think?”

 

[spoiler=*push the red button on the box*]

Wordlessly, you walk over to the small box and push the red button on top. Keepsake stares for a moment and then raises an eyebrow. The box shudders just a bit, but nothing seems to happen. You shrug and turn to look at Keepsake. The last thing you see is the look of terror on her face before a strange light floods the room, drowning you both out in its brilliance.

 

You find yourself back in front of your computer, in your own home, your ears ringing. There is no trace of Keepsake, no trace of the light. A voice whispers to you, “Tonight… As you sleep…” The voice came from nothing and it returns to nothing, leaving only the lingering ringing… It sounds like the screams of Keepsake, echoing in your ears.

 

You seem to have made a small mistake.

 

 

 

[spoiler=*move the box*]

Wordlessly, you walk over to the small box and move it over to the right. Beneath the box, on a platform, is a single shape. Like the images on the computer screen, you can’t tell what it is. Seeing it up close, it looks quite random, like something that a child would paint with their fingers.

 

Keepsake walks over and looks down at it. She whistles. “Wow, this is some kind of journal entry. Apparently, the captain… He abandoned the investigator, due to some kind of emergency. He left the outpost to go check something. When he came back, something was waiting for him. He wrote this message with some kind of instrument, but not one of ours…”

 

She glances nervously at the box with the red button, before looking back at the panel. “Anyway, it says something here that really doesn’t make much sense at all. Apparently, there was actually a third crew member. An engineer of some kind? It doesn’t make sense.”

 

“There are no engineers in the Void; not anymore. They’re kinda like relics at this point. She laughs. “I mean, everything is automated? Who needs them? Well, so I guess we should go check out the investigator that was stationed here.”

 

You exit the room and return to the hallway.

 

> GO TO SPOILER #2

 

 

 

 

 

[spoiler=SPOILER #2]

You approach the door on the right that you had seen earlier. Keepsake lets you lead the way, tagging along at your heels. Before you reach the door, she tugs at you. You stop and turn around.

 

“Hey, I guess this may seem a bit sudden.” Her nose scrunches. “Uh, how do you think I look? As a human that is? I uh… I was just wondering, because, you’re the first real human that I’ve seen. Here in the Void, there are no humans, just the Lines, Shadows, Lights, and Tenders. Sooo, I really want to know, what do you think of me? How do I look?”

 

[spoiler=Kinda cute?]

She jumps up and down! “Really! Oh my gosh! Thank you! Wait…” The jumping stops awkwardly in mid-hop. “Cute?” She raises an eyebrow. “Well, I guess I was hoping you’d say magnificent or awe-inspiring, but I’ll accept being called cute.” It looks almost as though she’s blushing.

 

> GO TO SPOILER #3

 

 

 

[spoiler=I don’t know.]

She frowns. “That’s okay. That’s fine, I guess. Yeah, didn’t really care what you thought about me. I was just asking out of curiosity, that’s it. Hey, let’s keep going.” She taps her foot impatiently.

 

> GO TO SPOILER #3

 

 

 

 

 

[spoiler=SPOILER #3]

You open the door and take one step in. The room is empty. Behind you, you hear a faint whooshing sound. A shadow seems to pass over the room. The movement forces you to blink. When your eyes open again, you can see the room clearly. It’s a mess. Keepsake coughs.

 

“I apologize for that, I didn’t mean to startle you. There was something wrong with this room, so I had to fix it. Nothing here is meant to be seen by humans. When I realized that we would be working together, I wrapped you in a field that takes my world and ‘translates’ it for your eyes, ears, and other senses. This room broke that field… Something isn’t right here.”

 

She pushes through the entrance and looks around, motioning for you to stay near the entrance. The remains of a desk, bed, and bookshelf are strewn around the room. Books lie scattered. She picks up one of them and leafs through it, it looks different from the others.

 

“It’s the investigator’s journal. The early entries match the messages we received. The later entries… They seem to become progressively stranger. Something about an architect or an engineer? Something about forbidden books? Something about…” Her face turns ashen. “I can’t… I won’t say that.”

 

She turns to you, visibly disturbed. “Well, I think there are two things that we can do next. We can go to the data room… Or, I guess we could… Well, this bit about the engineer… We can go to the engine room? Look for, uh… Something… I'll figure it out.” She trails off.

 

> GO TO SPOILER #4

 

 

 

[spoiler=SPOILER #4]

Keepsake takes the lead, walking warily down the hallway. Her posture is tense, alert. The two of you pause before turning the bend. Her eyes glow furiously red. You round the bend and you see… Nothing. Just two doors. She relaxes.

 

“Hey…” The voice was not much more than a whisper. “You know, I think I make a pretty good human. I mean, I just started when I met you, but maybe I’m a natural, you know?” She grins.

 

“Actually, I kind of enjoy being human, and I think I enjoy being with humans. You aren’t as useless as I expected. I mean, you’re actually weirdly smart. I guess I want to be like that too… So, what do you think? Am I any good at this? Do you think I’m a good human?” Her tone is hopeful, the embers in her eyes glitter.

 

[spoiler=You’re a good human.]

“Really?!” Keepsake can barely keep the excitement out of her voice but manages to lower her volume before continuing. “That’s awesome! I have definitely been feeling like a human.” She laughs nervously. “I think I'm a little afraid right now, for instance. This investigation is not what I expected at all, so I'm uh… I'm happy that I'm not here by myself.” Keepsake walks straight forward down the hall, entering a door at the end.

 

> GO TO SPOILER #5

 

 

 

[spoiler=Errr… You aren’t a human.]

“Oh? Yeah? Well, I guess that makes sense. I'm not a human, really. I'm a Shadow. Though, um, we're not quite the same thing as the shadows in your world.” She gestures at herself. “I mean, obviously. Anyways, we don't like to work alone. That's just how we are. But, I'm not a human. I only took this form, because…” She blushes severely. “Never mind, let's keep going!” Without another word, she turns and opens the door in the middle of the hall.

 

> GO TO SPOILER #6

 

 

 

 

 

[spoiler=SPOILER #5]

The engine room is empty, cavernous. A dozen inactive computer terminals are on the wall to your left. The room is darker than the hallway. It smells stale. In the middle of the room, there is a single cube. It flashes with a rainbow of colors. The room feels wrong, but there is nothing obviously out of place.

 

Keepsake hisses, “There's nothing here. This is the last room and there's nothing here. Did it leave? How did it manage to leave without making some kind of trace in the log? We have a record of arrival. We don't have a departure…” She shakes her head. “Something that could disable an investigator shouldn't be able to hide, not like this.”

 

You see it before Keepsake does. The slightest trace of movement near the engine, followed by another, and another. You see the movement, a sinuous crawl. The shape becomes clearer, massive and writhing, slowly unraveling itself from the engine. You see the colors, a rainbow of maddening shades of darkness. The shape has no beginning, no end. The mere sight of it freezes you in place, filling you with anxiety.

 

Keepsake notices your discomfort and looks in the direction that your eyes are locked. She can't see it… She looks back at you; her eyes are blistering coals for a moment and then simply normal. Normal human eyes. She turns back and immediately leaps between you and the creature. Her cape and shadow merge together, forming wings of darkness on her back.

 

The creature stops unraveling, a head swivels out of the roiling mass. Keepsake strikes first, swinging a wing like a claw, catching the side of the creature’s face with a solid blow. Shards of black scatter around the room. Keepsake, hissing furiously, follows up on the first strike with further blows. You are released from your stupor. The monster lashes out at Keepsake with a massive tendril. She shields herself in darkness and rolls, but the tremor it causes staggers you backward.

 

Keepsake snarls with ferocious urgency, “Human! Get out of here before you die!” It seems like a good idea, so you quickly regain your footing and start for the exit. You stop when you notice, out of the corner of your eye, that one of the terminals is active. It is filled with strange symbols. They look nothing like the ones that you saw earlier.

 

[spoiler=Trash the terminal.]

On a whim, you rush to the terminal, lift it from the wall, and throw it harshly down to the floor. The creature stops its attacks and collapses onto the floor. Keepsake stares at the creature for a few moments and then folds in her wings. The cape and shadow shrink to their normal size. She walks over and examines your handiwork.

 

“Huh, I didn't even think of that.” She pushes the pieces of the terminal around with her foot. “It was feeding on the engine, but to do that, it had to make constant adjustments. It was young, so it didn’t have much of a chance without a power source… So…” She smiles at you. “Hey, you killed it!”

 

“I could have probably beat it anyway, even without your help…” Her eyes dart around the room. “No, I probably couldn’t have. Not if you weren’t here… I didn’t even think to check the terminals. They didn’t seem important. Uhhh…” A silence hangs in the air for a moment, and Keepsake looks indecisive.

 

“I suppose that the human thing to do in this instance is…” She gives you a hug, lingers for a moment, and then releases, stumbling away. “That felt so weird… Hahaha, I think I liked it!” Her expression turns suddenly serious. “I’m going to have to make a full report of all of this, right now. So, I’ll send you back, but first…”

 

She grins wickedly. “I guess I should tell you that the task isn’t finished. I mean, after my report, I’ll probably have to find out more about what happened here. I guess that means that I’ll have to use your help again. You know? If you don’t mind. It’s not like you were doing anything else more important. Look, I’ll give you what you were looking for, I promise! Just not right now!”

 

The world spins around you and you are back at your computer, feeling strangely accomplished. Your last memory of the Void is Keepsake’s grin.

 

You seem to have done something good.

 

 

 

 

 

[spoiler=SPOILER #6]

You follow Keepsake and find yourself in a large, dim room, filled with shelves that are in no discernible order. Each one is filled with a number of glowing volumes. They flash randomly, filling the room with a sea of colors. Keepsake seems to know her way around.

 

“These volumes contain the details of every observation made from this location. Each one of them is the equivalent of a few thousand human books. The journal that we found mentioned something about forbidden books. I think that means we'll find what we're looking for in here. This is as close as most guardians get to real books… They're boring creatures.”

 

As she speaks, the two of you wind your way through the shelves in a zigzag pattern. You reach an open area, deep in the room. It seems particularly dark… Keepsake freezes. Barely visible in the darkness, in a corner, you make out the silhouette of a body lying prone. Keepsake makes a soft noise and seems to wait for a response, the figure remains still and silent.

 

“This is… Was the investigator for this facility.” Her voice is calm but unsteady. “I had thought that she had left… I didn't expect to find her here, not like this.” Keepsake looks up at you. “I think that I should report on this immediately. This place… I don't think that I can do this without backup. I should send you home and go report.” The embers in her eyes seem to have died out.

 

[spoiler=I agree.]

“I'm sorry that I dragged you out here for this… This isn't the kind of thing that a human should deal with…”

 

The world swirls. The last you see of Keepsake is her expression, tired and disappointed. You return to your life, sitting at your computer. How bland.

 

 

 

[spoiler=Keepsake, I am your backup.]

She blinks. “That’s… True… Yeah. That is true. That's why I brought you with me, so we could finish this task… Okay then, stay behind me. Whatever did this is in the engine room, I'm sure of it.”

 

Her eyes glow with wrath. You fall in behind her as she takes the lead, moving quickly towards and then entering the door at the end of the long hall.

 

> GO TO SPOILER #5

 

 

 

It's lovely~