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Beocat

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Blog Entries posted by Beocat

  1. Beocat

    A Long Time in Coming

    By Beocat,

    So, it seems for the past 2 years I have been trying to land my dream job (not just preparing for it but applying too).  This has been a very very long and painful process, and at this point, I can confess...  I have rewritten my resume likely over 150 times in two years...and my cover letters...I have around 120 or so.  That's a lot of writing.  I remember the Dean of my school once saying "Anyone who claims to enjoy writing is a liar" and I raised my hand and said, "I actually like writing....sir....."  Haha!  Didn't earn me any points with that guy but ah well.  I do love writing stories.  I'm still working on my short (the one I meant to be around 15 pages long that has turned into 120 pages and counting) story on the side but writing all of these resumes and cover letters has given me a different perspective to writing.  I've even written resumes and cover letters for my friends (I tell all my friends they must expect to spend a minimum of 4-8 hours with me for a resume, and another 8-16 hours for a cover letter - the information you have to drag out of people to write these is insane) and darn....I make those things look great!  One of my friends worked as a cleaning lady for around 8 years, and in fast food for another 4 years and I made her resume sound very professional and geared it towards her dream warehouse job with the terminology I used to describe her work responsibilities.  Sometimes I wonder though, why it takes so long for me to comb through and improve my own work.  I likely turn a blind eye towards my own resume's flaws.
     
    In the past, I relegated updating my resume to a yearly task that I set for myself on my whiteboard in my office on New Years Day (along with all my other goals (you know, save X amount of money in savings, attain this or that certification, pay off that loan) things that I wanted to get done that year that I would mark off as I accomplished them).  I'm now realizing that doing this yearly, I probably missed some major additions I could've added before that now are just out of my grasp....not to mention...if you don't use it, you lose it (the magic resume touch that is).  Well, I've got the touch now.  Maybe I should open up a resume/cover letter writing service, charge people by the hour to do it.    At least I'd make money from it.  So far I've been just giving it away!  I'm also a lot happier with my resume than I can say I was two years ago.  It is full of interesting information, not just generic stuff, that exemplifies my abilities and leads to enhancing others.  It's all building on itself.  I seem to be getting better at displaying pertinent information.  It isn't enough to just list the robots I've worked with.  Now I'm listing what their functions were as well as the software components.  Give the random HR representative a shred of information to understand what it means (HR rep must be the strangest job in the world - they get to pick people who get to see the hiring manager, and most of the time they have no understanding of what the person does or how they get the job done).  I'm still at a disadvantage.  Studies have shown ambitious men get three times the interviews that ambitious women do, but at least this resume is written proof of my abilities. 
     
    ~sighs~  Well, back to applying for the dream.  Some day I'll get there.  Not sure when.  If I keep trying though, my ticket's eventually got to be pulled.  This cat's not giving up the hunt that easily!
  2. Beocat

    Worst Luck Ever

    By Beocat,

    So, lately bad luck just seems to be stalking me...like a yandere nipping at my heels. Well, now my car won't start. I suppose the silver lining is that I wasn't 400 miles away. Doesn't make the cost to fix it any easier to swallow. This seems to be one thing after another for me. What could happen next?
     
    Guess I am home bound until my husband is done teaching class. At least the kittens are loving this turn of events. 
  3. Beocat
    Wow, today was a really long day.  First, I woke up and assisted my husband with a rescue diving class.  Usually I am in the water as a victim, but since my last box of contacts had some issues (I think they were contaminated.  I got eye infections from using them twice.  Had to be a bad batch.  Never had an eye infection before in my life till then!), and he had another divemaster in the water, I instead stuck with surface support and shore work.  Even so, I almost stayed behind to listen to lectures for the next class he was teaching after the dives.  Instead, I skipped changing my clothes and just went home (because I left my phone at home to charge).
     
    Upon getting home, I immediately get to changing into some dry clothes and while putting on my jeans, I hear a kitten screaming.  My head shot up (and all the girls were in the room with me).  I immediately opened the window by me and saw nothing.  Juliet was in the other window watching so I peered out of her window and saw Nighthawk and her kittens with Squint and Sniper walking out of the backyard.  Yet I could still hear crying...
     
    I headed out the back and to my horror found a little black kitten stuck in my chair.  Somehow, he had falled with his arm between the slats of my chair, with his arm pinned inside.  Nighthawk abandoned him in less than 2 minutes from the time it happened.  He was wedged so deep with his arm all twisted that I couldn't pull him back up.  I called my husband, distraught and interrupting class, to ask him where the saw was (I was already in the garage looking through toolboxes and workbenches) and the only one I saw was a tiny handsaw...which was ineffective.  He decided to leave class to come help me...but he was thirty minutes away.  I tried again with some clamps I found (using them in a spreading manner) to lessen the pressure and pulled him up and out.  The arm was completely limp and useless.  I ran him inside and grabbed a carrier and off to the emergency vet we went (telling my husband to stay and teach class). 
     
    Thankfully the xrays didn't show a fracture but he still can't use his arm.  If I had taken him to the Humane Society...well the best case scenario would be that they would have just amputated (but with the terrible one we have I'm sure they would have simply euthanized him).  With some anti-inflammatories and pain medications, I'm told he should be walking on it in a few days (or nerve damage would be the culprit).  He's actually the other kitten I saved bigger brother....  looks like we're caring for two now.  Almost time for his next dose of pain medication. 
     
    Oh man I'm tired.  =/  I can't stand to see a kitten in pain.  I'm just so relieved he's going to be alright.  I hope...  time for more expensive vet visits tomorrow....
  4. Beocat
    So, like many of you out there, I do enjoy a good book and some day, I hope I can sit down and enjoy reading a book I wrote on my own.  Does anyone else out there have a dream like that?  I've been writing stories ever since I was in middle school and I am forever thankful that I had an AMAZING mom who took the time out of her busy days after work to sit down with me and teach me to read all by herself, just because I asked her to.  Yep, I was reading before I even got into kindergarten and by the time I hit first grade, the teachers were parading me around to read to the other students (in hopes I would inspire them).  Back then, reading to my fellow classmates, I was on a fifth grade level and my love of reading has only grown since (along with my level haha).  Reading stories inspired me to excel and think and by the time I started writing my own, I had some pretty stiff convictions about what a good story would entail.  Character development.  No plotholes.  A setting and world so vivid you could see it around you as you read the page.
     
    Like many people, I started out by writing fanfiction.  In actuality, fanfiction is GREAT practice for writing an actual novel.  It takes the world building component and the character building component out and lets you practice fleshing out a story.  The rise and fall of the plot, the subtle changes in the characters as they grow through a story, and the sculpting of a conclusion, wrapping up the story in a tidy bow.  Then, around five years ago, I decided to take the plunge and write my own story straight from my brain to the keyboard.  To create that world in its entirety and sculpt the characters from the vision in my head.
     
    Sounds easier than it really is.  Needless to say, I wrote a great first chapter.  I've gone back and done some minor tweaking to it but that's where I'm stuck.  I've introduced one major character and now I need to introduce another.  The rest of the story I've jotted down in notes throughout the years.  I've researched different types of weapons and armor (it's a medieval fantasy type story), I've written background biographies for the various characters in the story, the main villain has been augmented so many times she is no longer recognizable from her first incarnation.  I know how I want it to start and I know where I want it to be, it's just the getting there that seems to be tripping me up now.  That and life pretty much stole all my motivation for the past four years...but that story is a tragedy that no one wants to read haha...
     
    So, with all my extra time recently, I've started back writing.  I've tweaked my novel's first chapter and now I've started on a new story.  This new story is more of a "short story" meant to grease my writing gears again and man did I need it.  In just a few short days I burned out 37 pages of material (yeah...short...I know...) and that was just chapter one of my short story.  I could tell with every four to five pages that my writing was improving as well.  I think at this point I might be back to the skill of writing that I stopped with last time.  And now...the delimna....to continue writing my short story (and hopefully finish it...was planning four chapters).....or instead work on my old novel.  I think I've finally figured out the proper way to proceed (I need an actual introduction of the main group and protagonist before my other protagonist meets them...I could never figure out what was missing before but I suddenly see it for what it is now.).  I've already gone back in and revised the new story's first 20 or so pages.....
     
    Decisions....decisions....  Doesn't help that now when I fall asleep at night I dream of two different stories meandering about in my head....  I might have to just drink some shots tonight and flip a coin to decide on this one.  Wish me luck, guys!
  5. Beocat

    A Kitten for Raising

    By Beocat,

    So, recently our sweet Nighthawk (who trusts us to give her food but that's about it) gave birth to her second litter of the year in our own backyard.  Nighthawk has been with us...for quite a while now.  Back in the day, when the fox was hunting Momma Cat's kittens, I ended up saving the three that were left (sadly, I didn't check our front door the night before for the first kitten   ) which became our sweet little girls.  I thought that would be the last time that I raised a kitten.  I thought wrong.  So Nighthawk was part of Momma Cat's second litter that year and since she has blessed us with three somewhat surviving litters to watch over (she's wiley...tried and failed to catch her) and in the last one she went and abandoned a little kitten.  
     
    Now I know to watch and wait...13 hours later, the kitten was still here and crying and Nighthawk had come and gone for her lunch....  The kitten was truly abandoned.  I am probably the least mothering of any woman out there.  This whole taking care of babies thing is really difficult for me.  I plowed through it, nursing the dehydrated kitten back to hydration (just holding my breath that he would survive the weekend) and took him in for a check up with the vet on Monday.  Perfect health...no fleas even (because they all jumped off of him and onto me....  I told my husband...in a sour tone...that I must be key lime pie to those blasted bugs).  Well, now I'm just trying to get him through another weekend.  He is super strong (and fast...).  He also has an unfortunate habit of climbing up my clothes, running off my hand when I'm feeding him (in a crazed rush to eat...makes no sense but this kitten is pretty insane at times) and fell off my lap earlier today.  I don't think he's actually hurt from it, but I'm keeping a good watch on him (I think he was more sore from it than anything else).  Now he's scratching his face open (I've noticed him clawing his face when he eats all the time but...now he's drawing blood -- trying to wrap him up in a paper towel when I feed him now...keep him from running and clawing himself).  v_v  Tough times.  He was 11 days old when we brought him in...18 days old now (almost to the almighty 3 week milestone).
     
     
    Well, I am barely sleeping here folks so wish me luck.  Some day I'll post a picture of this cutey (maybe after he/she stops clawing at her poor whiskers).  Our cat Aida wants to adopt him (tried to take him from me 5 times today --- she'd actually be better for him than me but he must be dewormed first!) so hopefully in another week or so when we can start the deworming, I can get some furry help around here with this. 
     
    My husband is trying to understand (he has to turn off the tv for 15-20 minutes after I feed him so he can fall asleep...at least he's down to every 4 hours now as opposed to every 2-3 hours)….  I've started calling the kitten "my kitten"....so maybe the girls at the vet are right in that I probably won't be able to rehome him for bonding with him too much...we'll just have to see.  Been thinking up names...maybe I'll run a poll for it...I have trouble deciding on names. 
  6. Beocat

    Wow, I never knew...

    By Beocat,

    This has been one crazy bumpy trip for me over the past several months.  I left my job with no promise of a new job and so far, I've had fairly terrible luck in landing one.  Let me give you a bit of history.  The place I was previously working for four years suffered greatly from certain individuals blatantly abusing their authority, retaliating against anyone who would dare speak the truth in the multiple investigations that occurred (four in four years...unheard of, yet the higher ups continue to protect the corrupt likely because they are just as corrupt), targeting people for abuse, bullying, and hazing, and discriminating against individuals on the basis of color, gender, and religion.  Let's not even cover how they bluntly did not care for patient safety because "it's not like they can sue us" (guess what...some of them can!  It is no excuse for sub-quality care and possible intentional endangerment of a patient!).  Needless to say, it was a fairly terrible environment and the last year I spent there was full of anxiety and depression.  I considered the place I worked as The Gates of Hell.  I was burned out, exhausted, and I was actually starting to hate people, and I'm not like that.  I was also doing 90% of the work there by myself.
     
    So I left, a friend of mine left, another friend of mine left, another person went into rehab (drugs and alcohol...can't blame her in that place), another got arrested for fraud (that one can be blamed on him alone).  While myself and a friend kept up with one another, my other friend only kept up with me for a little bit.  We talked about how much of a relief (physical, mental, and emotional) it was to be away from that place, no matter the financial difficulty it would bring us.  We talked about meditation, exercising, cooking, spending time with our loved ones, the hobbies we had left behind due to the stress...  When she stopped emailing me, I thought she had decided to move (she had talked about it) and wanted to cut off all friends and memories of that place (I wouldn't have blamed her).  I hadn't heard from her for three months, then she sends me an email out of the blue.  She had been far more depressed than the rest of us.  She had almost taken her own life. 
     
    I knew she was very depressed.  She was treated far worse by our supervisors (even though she hadn't been there nearly as long as I had) and truthfully, I don't think legally that they should have been able to treat people the way that they did.  When myself and my other friend left, I believe that she felt alone and solely targeted.  She didn't stay longer than a month after we left.  I can only imagine how difficult the healing has been since then.  Truly no one can understand how bad it was unless you were there.  Even now, I know they curse my name because now they have no one to do all the work for them (the people who are left are worthless and incompetent, but their incompetence makes them not a threat to the incompetent management).  All I want is to move on and never feel the way I felt while working there for the past 4 years. 
     
    I hope that she stays in contact with me this time and I hope she never feels that low ever again.  This universe can be so unfair sometimes but in the end, things will even back out.  They have theirs coming to them. I can only hope so anyways.  I think if I make it through all of this, I just might leave this profession forever.  Plan my exit.  Or at least invest in an alternative income source.  Anything to never feel as though I can't freely leave a bad job again.  I'm so thankfully I had months saved up to support myself through this. 
  7. Beocat
    Well, this time I've done it to myself.  So while I am in between jobs (my choice--I feel like I was being driven out but it is just as well. I needed to focus on redirecting my career anyways and I was putting too much of my own self and energy into that job for no benefits, no promotions, and not even any gratitude from the ones who got promoted from my hard work) I have slowly but surely (even though I tried not to let myself do it) gone back to being a night owl.  You heard that right folks.  This cat is as nocturnal as it gets.  I guess that means I'm an outside kitteh...as my girls inside are snuggled up asleep on the couch with my husband right now.  It somewhat irritates me how he can fall asleep anytime...anywhere...
     
    So, while we decided to go out on the boat this morning (I say this morning because tomorrow is already here), and I tried...oh I tried to sleep...after a few hours of laying in bed tossing and turning and my wrist hurting and my toes tingling and me gasping for air I realized it...  Not only has my former job wrecked my health, but thinking a bit about it I gave myself a little panic attack.  No wonder I can't sleep.  I have been applying to certain jobs all across the state (I don't care if I don't live there...I'll rent a shack if I have to to change my career path) and honestly I've only had about a 3% bite rate on my applications.  So far, my first interview bombed....I interviewed three days after my last day on the job and was too burned out by my last job to do a good honest showing and I couldn't fake interest in the company (I didn't really want to work there, but the as needed work would have been nice on the side.  It took 2 months before I recovered enough from the burnout to have any energy and my old personality back).  My second interview was with a company completely and totally unrelated to my field.  Again, I was willing to do it...anything to get out of this spiral of misery one bad decision 6 years ago landed me in....didn't hear back.  My third chance came at a place I used to volunteer at.  I would've been a shoe-in for the position considering all the high level staff would've been behind me....they needed my current references to respond within 48 hours....one reference took 7 days...I obviously missed the interviews because of the lateness of my reference and they couldn't wait that long ...that was a harsh blow.  I have honestly harbored some resentment towards that reference ever since...  Then I've had a nibble here and there....  An overnight position is considering me (and I would love to work it!) but I'm also being highly considered for a specialty position elsewhere (and that specialty is so rare...yikes!  I want it and I'm terrified of it at the same time LOL).  Maybe after months things are finally coming together. 
     
    After all of this time sending out applications (and spending the last 6 years in self-study and training getting various credentials to make myself more marketable, differentiated, and ready to really push for that career change as the whirlpool sucked me in ever deeper) it seems to finally be looking up.  And that got me thinking about the last 4 to 6 years where my life was not on the right career path.  That one day where it all fell apart.  I applied for my dream job and waited six months before giving up and accepting a job elsewhere, doing not what I wanted, slanting my career in a path I didn't want to go in....and the very next day they called for an interview -_-* If only I had waited one more day to consider the offer (albeit, my life would have turned out very different if I had.  I doubt I would have this house for instance, my girls...who knows if I would have been any happier).  Darn brain keeps thinking of it and won't let me sleep.  ~sighs~  I'm going to be in for it when we're trolling.  Hopefully I can stay awake long enough to reel those mackeral in.  It got me thinking...why is starting up my own consultant agency so difficult?  I have part of the groundwork already laid...Others have gone there before me and done really well....  >_>  I need to push myself more....  Maybe just set aside time to do it...but then my Rep credentialing is taking forever and I've tried setting aside time to do it (if the study material for the exam wasn't written lightyears below my level...I am truly overqualified for that type of job, I would be able to force myself to read it faster)...  For all this free time I have right now, I guess I have a lot on my plate.
     
    And I still need to clean this house!  Why didn't I clean today!?  All these thoughts keep bombarding me....man once I'm on that boat with the sun searing my pale vampiric skin (I'm not joking...I wear 85 proof sunscreen and jeans and long sleeves year round.  The sun is my enemy!  ~hisses~ I blistered bad as a kid and continued to blister for years thereafter with as little as 20 minutes in the sun.  I learned my lesson for sure!  People think I'm a natural redhead because my skin is so pale....)  I think I might just fall asleep then...  I'm never going to live this down if I fall asleep on that boat.
     
    Anyways, thank you for listening.  Writing it out does help.  I just need to keep believing that things will fall into the right place at the right time *hopefully soon*  I think I need to forgive my reference too for not delivering in a timely manner too.  She is renovating her house after all.  I just wish she had told me it would be a while so I could have scrounged up another one...  ~sighs~  Lesson learned.
     
    Well, it is about time to completely give up on sleep and just force myself to stay awake.  Guess I'll clean house now...just can't vacuum until my husband wakes up. 

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