XII360

Dont worry guys

Punks not dead

I mean im not dead yet <_>

Just really focusing on board exams more, couse itll change my life drastically if i pass

If i fail...well shet, my life wont change, i need to pass to make my life move on >_>

So ya, without spoiling shiz, have a picture of what im studying <_>

(Yes, i study while in bed, bite me >_>)

kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, sempai drew my OC character (mia) the yandere one xDDD

aka her,

felt it best to post her artwork

(generally she's my senpai in internship days, and she helped me allot and teached me the ropes, i also respect her couse she's a great artist >.>)

also, just so everyone know's, she's...generally one of those people like me, who are hella wierd >.>

like, not your typical everyday person ?, she's fun to be around with tho', and shes a huge anime fan

also yaoi fan/bl fan, holyshet

still, respect for sempaiii, i am honored she drew my favorite daughterfu

accurate meme i made of me, and what everyone around me probably things im doing majority of my time >.>

obligatory song post~

just gonna leave this here

now idk wtf to do ...

"sigh"

boom

rejected

gonna go draw couse im a numb person who didn't feel the rejection at all

i expected it a mile away, but, meh, drawing and song is my anti-depressant (even tho' im not rly depressed)

or i could be just telling myself im not depressed, to not feel it ?! who can knowww

WARNING; sh*tton of words ahead, and maybe possible bad english? couse i mean, i just wrote stuff based on what happened, i dont wanna proof read this either >.>

just check TLDR if you dont wanna read it all

so i couldn't confess to her with words, mainly couse it was a night duty, and she was window, and i was somehow invited to help ER couse they lack man power there, (but so did INPX), so i told the leader "sure, until other guys arrive ill help out here"

so around first 4 hours of duty, i ended up being in ER, being slightly toxic, after that, the "late ins" interns arrived, only problem was, thats when the real toxic arrived, (e.g patient after patient)

and then doctors kept following up something, the staff got a bit mad at the intern's, so i semi sped myself up on duty, she got mad couse all the interns in ER was mass warding, while she was left alone in the ER lab 

when i heard that, i stayed in ER longer and decided to do most of the things fastly (e.g update PC log sheet, charged new patient tests, etc)

basically i toke window role, which is my most hated role in internship...

but i had the fastest writing speed, so i could update it 10x faster than anyone (only problem being, its so hard to f*cking read their hand writings >.>)

so fast forward to 3am, toxicity finally subsided, and i was able to ditch to go to where i really wanted to -- INPX where waifu at

only to be slapped by morning pick stuff, and so many people in there that i cant get a moment of her time (+/- she was toxic, so i didn't wanna disturb her for my stooped reasons)

in the end, i went morning pick with a junior who wasn't confident in extraction, was slow af and stuff, and

basically, everything about me when i was just starting out >.>

though i told her ill do the rest, after teaching her proper collection on ARD bottles (couse ill collect morning pick faster if im going at it alone)

give take i needed to hurry too, couse it was 5am, and i had like 6 extractions, and 12? HGT/CBG (glucose test)

ended up finishing them all by 6:30am, and gave her the samples to less toxify her

after which it was benign-ish for me, like regular, checking trashbins for sharps and pranking new interns that im a "staff" or "a girl" (couse i brought a wig that day, to fool INPX window, and act like a patient -- she saw right through me though, and told me that "the exit is that way" 

i was like

the f*ck ?! how did you know ?

"gut feeling" - qt junior 2019

so yea, in the end, i couldn't confess to her by words; butttttt

i ordered everyone gifts, hers having a special extra one, and i wrote everyone letters (including hers)

outside, i wrote "dont open it with people around"

inside, i wrote i liked her, and the other was me going asdjfhsdfhsajfh couse i was cringing >.>

so yea, other's saw, and was like "yieeeeeee" and others were "how does she get two ?" (couse i only gave one to everyone)

and i was just like "yknow "winkwink""

she incidentally smiled which made my day even though i was 24hours + awake now (couse i went from review center, then home, then straight to night duty >.>)

so yea, TLDR;

1.) confessed to qt by letter/gift, but she has yet to log in since, so idk her answer yet, im expecting to get rejected though if its taken this long, (which could hint she's avoiding me? and probably doesn't wanna make me sad?)

2.) couldn't get to study yesterday, due to over fatigue, lack of sleep, body ache from over working, etc

3.) i ended up going all night duty, when my initial goal was to just give her gift, and ditch home by 10pm

"thats about it; ryu is out, gun go kms after this incident ._."

im over-studying/over working my self

jesus christ x_x

and its not helping that im being bugged about wanting to ask qt out ...

ughhhh why must i fall inlove at such a crucial time ?!?!

just reject me when i ask you out, so i can focus more after being sad for a few days >___<

or accept my proposal, that would make me really happy too

been so busy with studying that i barely play games -- even mobile gacha games (which we all know, or atleast old users know that i abuse allot >.>)

also, gonna confess to some girl (that's my junior in hospital) next, idk when, and by confess, i mean, ask for her number : D

she might get the hint xD, at worst, ill be rejected, which is what im expecting, at best she will accept, and then, idk wtf to do beyond that point lmao

im only planning on the failure path, couse i know i might fail (though, i feel i have like, 50% chance this time ?, compared to my last love that is)

well anyway, only time will tell~ couse i mean, for now, i prioritize studying on review center for my board exams > helping juniors out > sleeping in house > playing games

oh and, ill ss the thing i ordered for that group next time (next time is when the order arrives), wasted 1.8k php for it, but i feel its worth it, since we get a sort of "group bond" (even though im finished in internship, and technically aint part of hospital/group anymore xD)

they still count me in though, so thats a plus sign 

i just feel sorry for them, since they lack man power, that's why i help out when i notice them having low man power -- and im doing nothing, like tomorrow

they gonna be so toxic tomorrow, and i would help...but...

review center sched tomorrow happens, so shiz happens bruh

anywho, 

TLDR: 1.) ima confess to some qt in near future

           2.) gun give my juniors a keychain gift 

            3.) review center is sh*t couse i cant play games as much as i used too -- much less use the PC as often q-q

i just realized its 1:30am and im still studying

...

gotta study uptil BB page, i gotta not waste time couse my scheds booked

heck on sunday im gonna flirt with that one intern help in hospital couse they will 10000% be lacking manpower

theres only like, 7? of them, so every man power is gun help them

but first, ill finish my own problems, which is studying sh*t infront of me >:o

its also 10 pages before BB page

lets go ryu~ fighto~

gonna wake up early tomorrow for review center stuff, got a long bicycle path to go, gotta learn how long itll take me to arrive, ill record the miles

meantime naito, my brain is, to be honest dead atm, so my english may also be dead af x.x

going to hospital today later, to give a gift to my old partners, since today is their grand duty in the hospital (which means their last day)

also gonna crash and talk to one artist, she wanted to see that gaomon s260? thingie, i invited her over to the grand just for that

maybe ill even stalk teach that one qt junior

also started watching danplan youtuber vid's

his vids are actually...funny af >_>

probably gonna subscribe

#hugsforkillings

yatta, i got luluca from e7, iz a new waifu

and it only toke me

...

9000 gems and 200 bookmarks to get her

"sigh"

its totally worth it, aslong as they dont do a collaboration soon

..

i need to get to challenger asap to get 600 gems per week >_>

i did a thing mom 

that thing wasn't studying, but its'a thing >.<

>when you have a dope ass idea for a game, but have to take priority to studying for an upcoming exam, being 4 months away

my life is pure suffering q-q

oh well, i got nothing to say, so ima just post this song~

(or atleast, music list xDD)

done with fairy mother design, now all that's left is to draw the 96x96 image and vamoose, i donzo~

...to bad today is my last day of doing game, i cant do it after today and have to focus on studying...

this is balls ._.

brightside, after my boards exam (which is 3months) i can go and play atelier lulua, and do this game

im especially looking forward to lulua, its arland story again, and lulua is rorona's daughter!

which means, we get to see astrid~!

cant wait, this 3 months will be a cinch~

and im done with mi-chan's character design, next up is the fairy mother, or fairy leader, whichever you wanna call her, and then making the actual 96x96 image >.> (and coloring, couse i need them colored)

but for now, its 1:13am, thus i am gonna go ahead and commit seppuku for like 6-8hours

naito~

edit: just noticed a minor error, belt, and a few fixing on long skirt (back/dorsal view)

im, just saying, not gonna bother drawing good hands, im gonna go for this style, not couse i wanna avoid long hours of drawing hands, but couse i wanna avoid drawing hands for a very long time only to get bad drawing of hands <.>

(atleast, unless a cg-event requires good hand drawing...then im gonna be screwed couse ill have to work hours to get it done x.x

but it'll all come based on the story i come up with...sooooo, yatta my brain not making proper story yet xD)

tfw your drawing a character, and end up doing something wierd to it

the f*ck brain, stop, this always happens when i draw jesus

but yea, i was suppose to draw mi-chan (mimic-chan), after drawing bar-kun (last drawing on LN thread)

but i-i got somewhat lazy, also my graphics tablet was low bat, and i was missing the cable..so i just bought a new one >.>

was hard couse i had to go hunting, for a cable that would fit the hole, i needed a tiny cable that would fit inside my graphics tablet's womb xDD

insertimmaturejokehere.png

(also, that first image is mi-chan in the making xD)

but yea, remember that game project i talked about that i was to scared to post couse i might not even finish it ?

yea, well, i ended up making allot of stuff, and i feel i can finish it

only problem is, i cant really, couse, ill have to focus on review center soon, so its gonna suck having to abandon this for 3 months (aka duration of my review center, and board exams ;_:)

but hey, that means i can finish it by 2020 , #singlemanproject ?

but yea, obligatory song post

as usual~ xDD

finished main town map

tomorrow ill draw a design on one character in the LN thread

and then ill draw a character for the FE-MC (which is a mimic chest)

its gonna be a first, but its gonna be fun

im feeling confident too, couse i mean, i just finished making a town

it lacks items on shops, but the items/equipments and stuff are under construction too

i need to make some changes, i dont wanna use default names >.>

even G should be changed tbh

but tomorrow its full drawing mode~~

finished dark souls 3!

was, very. frustrating

but also very fun >.>

but now i am free, freeee from dark soulsss~!!!

now i can do other important stuff >:o

like drawing one of the characters they posted on that one LN thread

or making a game >:D

tbh, i feel like making a thread about the game, but i also dont feel confident that ill pull through

so i guess for now ill just read stuff

give take, june 10th is the day ill be dead

couse i have to study for board exams, ugh >.<

oh well, obligatory song post~

found this on sound cloud, and i find it kawaii af

its funny how, i already memorized this song tho' >.<

andddd, done, just lacking background, probably wont color it too, ill post it tomorrow ;o

incidentally, some mod stuff happened, and im getting pretty much scolded for something minor,

daz laifu for you tho'

now for my well deserved rest, nait

i mean, i finished drawing her, but it doesn't feel right...

so ima do a quickie one based on her >.>, cross fingers i finish today

on other news: 

her movements, ayase's, are god damn captivating holy sh*t >.>

almost done with my artwork for contest, just felt like stopping for today couse...

screw drawing hands >.>

im gonna go play some E7 >.<

tomorrow im getting ditzy (dizzy) and i find this fap

for now, its time to DARK SOUULLLSS (three)

also, late heads up, while moms home, i probably cant use pc as much, couse she wants to spend time with me as much as possible, so ill be back at around 9th or 10th

meantime, ill be RIP, soooo

yea

f*ck this is hard af >.>

We done boiz

*Ez 4yrs* as my cool friend posted

and i finally finished black souls (a dark souls parody, thats R18! (contains ecchi scenes, and guro in some way, felt soft-gore to me though)

i came for the ecchi scenes, and i stayed and went home for the story, holy f*cking sh*t that was good >.>

like, i only got 2 endings so far (minus the other endings, being normal ending, and character-specific ending), endings i got was 3 and 4, but jesus, not gonna spoil it for anyone who will attempt to try it

but one thing i will say, you will be disgusted, but also intrigued

jeanne best girl by the by

also, while playing it, if you played <dark souls>, you will 1000% notice some stuff from dark souls in it, like places, items and such

also reminder: its a <DARK SOULS> parody, thats all im saying