XII360

I HAVE MISCALCULATED

TOMORROW IS THE SIMULATED BOARD EXAM

AND 18TH

LMAO im effed

and also,

there are more, but for now ill post these two

1st one is really 10/10, sisterly love, BUT DONT BE FOOLED, PROTAGONIST-KUN WAS KILLED BY THESE TWO CUTE DEVILS

would die in their mansion/10

2nd is, youmou fighting herself because work requires her to, is some real sh*t

10/10 nonetheless

recently got into touhou <again> (after what i just said, it probably is obvious >_<)

because of a game, that i wont be mentioning

but it helped me understand touhou better, and i am now officially a fan <again> >.>

though, this time i have a better understanding of it

best girl's are still kokoro, and reisin, fitemi

but yea ill probably read some novels/games of touhou after boards, its on my list now >: D

aside from my randomly getting into touhou, im still studying hard

i feel hella ready, unsure if i posted it before, but my scores are nice-nice-nice-nice-meme tier

2 day's from now we also have a simulated board exam (its just a simulation on how real boards will go, i know the feel so it doesn't bother me as much, what im after is the exam they will give out, i wanna ace that, it'll tell me if im really ready or not, but i feel i am, compared to last year >; o)

anywho, that's all i wanted to..share i think !?!?

cant wait to end these soon, just one month to go -=\^_^/=-

first thing im doing, aside from downloading some touhou games, IS FIX MY OC SHEETS

oh and, for those playing arknight's, im also playing it

add me 

「チョコレートミントアイス 」! ! !

{chocominto iceeeee}

lowkey kinda fun so wanted to share it >.>

onee-san got mad at her though  

Tomorrow is last day of review center !

So far, based on scores i get on exams, i feel confident ill pass this time, compared to first time (50-90/200), i always get 50-70% now (100-150/200),

With the exception on parasitology, seems to have been my lowest in the review center, following isbb (cant remember, but i didnt get 50%, rather 40% ?)

Eitherway ima keep studying to pass boards this march

Also bought some jackets, couse, jacket is laif for a hikikomori

I cant be the only one who feels naked, when im not wearing one outside, right ?

I feel protected when i wear a jacket outside (like how a kid feels protected hiding in their blanket xD)

Also UV light protection, muh skin needs to be protected after allll >.<

Started playing arknights too, not fully focused on it, im still 100% studies, but its a fun tower defense game so far, i get the kancolle vibe, but with tower defense mechanism rather than no control on shipfus

Also no permanent sinking/death if you push through (they should do a mode like this, it would add more pressure >.>....)

So lost a close friend

Got blocked and all

And...it would have affected me badly, sadly, i made my best friends worry too much

So i decided to forget her, she didn't cherish our friendship enough as much as i did

And if a mere confession destroys our friendship, then she aint meant to be my friend >.>

Funny thing is, when she said, *she never disowned me as a friend*

Yknow, that says allot when you suddenly block me, after 1 month of not talking

Sure my actions were a bit drastic (like burning my cosmatsu ticket,) but what did you expect, you didn't talk to me or assure me, i was left hanging/ditched, and whats worse is when i dmed her, she just *seen* it, she didnt reply back, until i actually texted her

Funny thing is, if we were still friends after my stuff, that would make us hella closer as friends, couse she knows me so much, and i know her allot, and we fought with one another but still ended up as friends

But nope, thats not the case, when shit hits the fan, she just ignores me for a month, i panic and do stupud shit, she tries to defend herself, and then i feel bad about what i did, and then she ignores me till we met up, and then after meeting up, blocks me

Well

Not gonna let her shenanigans bother, im not dissing her btw, shes by far the best girl i met

I just have to tell myself i hate her, to not feel anything

Also on the way home, i kept repeating to myself, *you cant break something, that is already broken*

Couse i mean, im already broken, so losing a friend, being rejected, that wont destroy me more xDDD

Also also, the omamori thingy ?, i toke it down, it didn't work at all, i wished for *things to go back to normal between us*

WELL IT DID THE TOTAL 180DEGREE OF MY WISH

cant say i expected it to work, i rarely believe in things nowadays <.>

but anywhooooo

Daz all

I got

To share

For today

Im off to sleep, couse review sentar calls theeeee

Naito everyone☆

Anyone got an idea on how makeup shiz works ?

Not gonna do it anytime soon, but im gonna cosplay in next matsuri, and ill need some makeups for the cosplay

And your boi got no clue how make up work

Incidentally, if your in ph, hit me up so we can both go to next matsuri

ITLL BE A PH-AF MEETUP?!?!?!

Toshi is the character i plan to cosplay as BTW

Did some stupid shiet outa anger from a friend i wanted things over with

And man, was that the f*ckiest f*ck i F*cking did

Ended up burning my cosmat ticket (was gonna burn it at jan 1 anyway, time just accelerated couse of anger, plus i wasnt gonna go couse id see friend im not in good terms with who i wanted to end it)

But man, i did a f*ck up as i usually do

Anyway, now im stuck in house studying

Did want to do whole charm wall stuff (aka image below)

But now thats impossible aint it

Soooo, i compromised and made use of my omamori, <which shouldn't be opened> but i still did to put a note with my wish in it.

And then placed it on our lemon tree

Hope my wish comes troooo

If it does, ill post what i wished about

Edit: that charm is clearly doing the opposite of what i wrote holy crap

Then again, i didn't think my wish was gonna come troo

What's been destroyed, can't be fixed >.>

MERRRYYYY sexmassss everyoneeeeee

HAVE SOME ABBY !!!

so yea

So i forgot what i was gonna say, HAVE SOME KAWAII POKEYMAN STUFF

So i was chillaxing, after studying for a bit

When all of a sudden I GOT ABI

IN ONE ROLL

I WAS JUST LISTENING TO HER SONG COUSE ITS HELLA FUN AND SHE SUDDENLY POPPED AND IM LIKE WTF

needless to say, this is why i avoid games, it made me sleep early and skip studies a bit >.>

It made me smile after so long tho >...>

Oh and i donated blood today, posting image

So allota sh*t happened, both good, both bad news

Ill start of with bad news so i can end stuff in good news

Dewa dewa, hajimemashokaaaa ╰(*°▽°*)╯

Bad news (may or may not be rant ?)

1.) My pc is slowish and needs upgrade, but i wont be upgrading it until after i pass board examination (which is scheduled at march 18th and 19th, if im not mistaken

2.) I lost a really close friend (who i treated as a senpai) couse i sortaaaaaa fell inlove with her, and then she rejected me (big surprise there kiddo), we haven't talked since, and well, if things keep up, i guess im not going to cosmania (couse i initially bought ticket, since she invited me, but, i cant go there if she hates me, ill feel too wierd, so unless we be friends again, im cancelling, and most likely burning the tickets if it passes deadline of cosmania (28th and 29th)

After losing a friend, i semi became depressed, welllllll

i always had semi depression, but it has now escalated to the point where, when i think about it, i cut my own hands, but not feel any of the pain, i-ts pretty emo

But, i feel its a way of atonement for the stupidity i did, begging is the lowest of the low a person can go, and i feel until we be friends again, doing such stupid acts will be a fine ass atonement (but im sure ill stop someday even if we aint gonna be friends again xD)

Also yea, i know, its stupid, (especially knowing IM IN THE MEDICAL FIELD ?!?!) if i wanted to kill mah self, id aim for vital organs, or the artery to bleed out, wont lie, i have imaginations of wanting to experience it, but i stop mah self couse, it aint gonna be atonement if i fawken game over myself 

4.) I also HAD a hallucination

It started when i cutted muhself, i could see blood clearly in walls and stuff; but after a few days, the hallucinations disappeared after 2-4days (day one it was clear, day 3 it was minor, day 4 i could faintly see them, and 5th i could no longer see them)

I had a similar problem in the past (hallucinations), but it wasn't blood, rather, it was minecraft blocks, i termed it *MC syndrome*, i had the urge to punch walls couse i could see everything as blocks, and my mind kept telling me if i punch trees or walls repeatedly BLOCKS WOULD FALL

but, the same as blood syndrome hallucination, MC synd. Went byebye in 2-4 days

So in conclusion, i am hella prone to hallucinogens, holy crap >.>

5.) I have stopped playing games (even mobile games) to focus on studying, and only turn them on if i have nothing to do and cant study (e.g outside), but most of the time, its reading a manga now, currently reading nozaki-kun mango xD)

THATS ALL THE BAD NEWS, YAAAAY ꉂ(ˊᗜˋ*)

Now onwards to good news

I only have a few as opposed to the bad news

1.) My scores so far in the review center is high (its not the same as when i first started, being 50/200 or 80/200, so far my scores have been pretty nice being 100/150, 60/100, or 143?/200

But the tests so far was minors (CM and MTLAWS), they aint 75%, but they are higher than my old exam scores, im also able to catch up and answer question the professor says

ヽ（≧□≦）ノو

2.) We changed internet providors, and our internet speed is now 80mbps dl speed, and 80mbps upload speed (shimakaze says; *OSOIIIII*, i say HAYAII DESU WA NE ?!?!)

3.) I got a new phone, i gave my s7active to my dad couse he wanted it, but mom bought me a brand new note10+ as an early x-mas gift (andholysh*t i love this phone, ITS LAGLESS SO FAR ON ANYTHING I DO, EVEN FGO ISNT LAGGING, EVEN AF IS LAG FREE HOLYCRAP

AND THE STYLUS, I LOVE THE STYLUSSSSS OH MY GOD I FEEL LIKE A WIZARD WHEN I WAVE THIS SH*T AROUND AND PHONE REACTS

ehem, anways, mom was suppose to give me ipad air 3, but i told her, i cant use an ipad air 3, how do i use something so big ? I DONT EVEN APPLE PRODUCT

So thats why she bought me a n10+ >.>

In the end, the ipad was given to my dad (where he will watch movies at, and his overjoyed at it

And my brother was give a s9 (which was my moms old phone) 

My mom went and bought a s10, thats why she gave her s9 to my brother

And yea, dazaboutit

Gonna donate blood tomorrow, ill post a pic about it tomorrow

Im semi-back guiz ( •̀ᄇ• ́)ﻭ✧

(Still more focused on studies tho, but browsing af aint a pain couse of lagless fone xD)

Stat update; Still no converge (internet)

And im gonna have to load my data soon

Ahh ahh, i wanna post whats been happening, but i gotta hold off till they connect our net <_>

Reading kimetsu no CRYba though

But majority of time im still studying

Current status: no net

How am i writing this you ask ?

ima ghost

Nah, but im using data

Were switching network providors, so meantime, im no-netish

Ill talk about what happened as of late once i can type in a keyboard and with proper net

Meantime, yo boi is pretty 30% RIP >.>

9IM FINISHED IN INKTOBERRRRRRRRRRRRRR 
IM FREEEEE

that was a fun event >.>

Yay for moare inktober stuff

also finish milfsekai

medhi is best girl

can you all guess why i say this ... ?

COUSE YANDERE VIBES + SMUG = HNHHNGHNHNGHNGHNAGHGGHHHH

but yea, gonna start watching sakamoto

aka

"COOL" guy >.>

im only watching at 7pm tho', and theres still inktober stuff to draw

now if you will all excuse moi', 

I STILL NEED TO JOG ?!?

man im sure being active >.>

too bad i still dunno how to talk in the discord chat

also obligatory song post ~~

and donzo

im proud of 10/13/19 one

MUSTACHIO MADE THANOS PERFECT

also 10/15/19, i feel i really did well in it

10/15/19 was based on this by the way

and also sempapi's OC, she and my best friend were the only things i considered as "legendary" >.>...

was to lazy to take a pic of it all, so i just linked stuff i uploaded