LonelyPoet

Usually you have to take more than one literature class so I guess this would substitute one of them. 

https://www.universityherald.com/articles/61607/20170123/college-course-anime-now-being-offered-university.htm

So apparently you can take this instead of literature for a prerequisite. I wish they had this as my school XD. What kind of stuff do you think they learn in anime class?

Shiki, Angels of Death, Spiral, to name a few. 

The first one is Genome. Another "If you die in the game you die in real life." type manga. It has a really cute style.  Read it here.

https://mangakakalot.com/chapter/naka_no_hito_genome_jikkyouchuu/chapter_1

The other is Dricam!! This is the rare manga that doesn't involve highschool students. Instead we have college students. They are street racers! Really funny very cool. 

https://mangakakalot.com/chapter/jy918913/chapter_1

Has anyone else read any of these?

Fruit Basket!

An anime I'd like to recommend is this late 90s early 2000s anime that no one seems to talk about. It's called Jyu Oh Sei. It's about a pair of twin brothers with rich parents that in the distant future "accidentally" get sent to an alien planet that is meant for criminals. Now they have to find a way to get home and they also discover some secrets about themselves. The show takes place over many years with lots of time skips, so be wary of that. It's really good especially if you like adventure/ mystery type anime.

I'm always glad to find someone else who likes Inuyasha. He's my favorite.

This my favorite Dn'D cosplay.

Hey everyone it's been a while hasn't it? I finished the draft for the first chapter which it on the google docs, feel free to change it or leave any notes you want, my chapter ending felt a little weak but I couldn't think of any other way to end it. Also this is some profile art for Mr. Broadwell tell me what you think about is. This whole thing is actually moving along faster than I thought. We might even have a finished product in a few months. Anyway have a nice day. Hope we can talk again soon.

Mr. Broadwell

12 hours ago, Seshi said:

If you think you can pull it off, more power to ya. Go ahead and strike of my corrections since we won’t head in that direction, I guess.

But just to clarify, the 3rd person is the most easy to write in. It’s easily explained throughout all transitions, if given the proper tense. And it’s entirely possible to do an inner monologue through the 3rd person. You just use italics, And then switch to the first person whenever the character you are focusing on is speaking. 

For example: Osmond closed his eyes and bowed his head This is the worst. I can’t stand being around my classmates, just like my parents, always going to and fro ordering others around, their smug smiles - who are they fooling!

He looked up, just then having decided that his life was never going to be the same.

———

So, I think you can have the best of both worlds when using 3rd person narrative. It’s truly not as complicated as writing the whole story in 1st person and switching narrators would be.

The Harry Potter series was written this way, and since it’s sales were so successful I’d hardly say the writing style was boring.

Boring if I wrote this story in third person not that 3rd person is just boring in general. 

14 hours ago, Ｄｉｓ said:

I like it, especially the part where Osmond talks back to the maid and then makes those pancake tacos. You can really sense how fed up he is with his family situation, like he can't take anything seriously. 

Yeah, I was trying to make the maids and guards sympathetic like they're just trying to do there jobs and Osmond is being difficult. Also I was trying to make Osmonds frustration seem valid it's a difficult balancing act. Is any part of it funny? My comedic writing could use some work. 

12 hours ago, Seshi said:

If docs will let me highlight on my phone and make some marks I’ll go through and do an edit suggestion soon.

@LonelyPoet Hey guys, I just started on the edit of the draft and found a problem with the narrative being from first person. I feel that it’s severely limiting in terms of explaining a story and being able to tell the whole story from one characters perspective may become overly complicated, not to mention it’s awkward to read (since it’s so rarely used) 

Are you all okay with me changing the narrative to the third person perspective and using he/ she / character names to refer to the characters in the story? This is the way most novels are done, but if you have a reason for using first person that I just missed, pardon me. I haven’t read past where I marked in yellow on page 1.

If you’d like to hear how the rest would sound in 3rd person for comparison, let me know and I’ll continue to edit it in this way. I don’t want to continue u less I get your approval.

I read what you marked on the page. Neither Osmond or a narrator introduces Osmond in the story. Osmond is introduced gradually through out the story through his internal monologue and character interactions.  Having an omniscient narrator explain things in the story sounds more boring in my opinion. Osmond is a cut off character without a lot of people to share his feeling with so I feel like the story would lose a lot of character building if it was written in the 3rd person since an internal monologue is more difficult to write naturally in 3rd person. Also I think it would be a lot less funny in 3rd person. Maybe we could switch first person points of view in the story? Like maybe a few chapters could be from Aria's point of view or even one of the bad guys?

20 hours ago, Ｄｉｓ said:

I've been slacking, but I want to quit being a Pro Crastinator  so I did this quick sketch of Fey today (definitely subject to change, the hair is wayyy too purple). You should see more drawings from me soon, I'll probably end up making another google doc for concept art. 

I think this is super cute  I'm looking forward to seeing more art from you. I think this is good for a profile picture.

Just now, LonelyPoet said:

I think this is super cute  I'm looking forward to seeing more art from you. I think this is good for a profile picture.

Also did you read what I wrote so far on the docs for the story? Do you like it? I don't know if I'm writing the story correctly. 

On 5/22/2019 at 7:44 PM, Ｄｉｓ said:

Lol too tired to type right, I meant to second draft 1

Hey! I don't know when I'll get to be online again but can you send some character descriptions for the characters you created. I don't know how to draw them. 

On 5/21/2019 at 8:19 PM, Ｄｉｓ said:

I second draft 2 for Aria

Okay draft 1 it is!

1 hour ago, Ｄｉｓ said:

I second draft 2 for Aria

You mean the long haired one or the short haired one?

9 hours ago, XII360 said:

i like draft 1 better

couse she has d.va marks and longer hair

 

edit: rofl, @LonelyPoet, 

i was just joking on that kyaa drawing part, but you guys actually placed it, check the spoiler post i made, it has the real deal >__>

(i lowkey fell down from laughter at seeing this lmao)

Nah I'm keeping it XD

Nice work  XII360! I have two new drafts for Aria. Tell me which one you like best draft 1 and draft 2.

I put all my creativity into this 

1 hour ago, Seshi said:

Love the plot progression. 

That tattoo is overkill. I like the dots tho

Yeah it's just wanted to get an idea of tribal tattoos, I'm going to tone it down quite a bit. 

1 hour ago, XII360 said:

been to lazy to read the plot

but i agree, the tattoo is overkill, id probably pass on a girl that's overtattoed

tho' thats just me >.>

side note, i thought i posted it yesterday, but it seems i died before i did <.>

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

im drawing book store owner-kun that was also a gangster before

Thank you!!! I'm looking forward to looking at it.

I think I'll be keeping the profile for Osmond but change Aria. 

I'm definitely going to be making changes to Aria. I like your tattoo ideas but I don't know about the venus symbol (you mean the female symbol right?) face tattoo I think it would end up looking more like a cross on her face. If I gave her islander tattoos then it would be more uncomplicated and traditional like this girl I have down below. I want the character to stand out but I don't want the character to end up looking like a Yu-Gi-Oh character if you know what I mean. Also I want the character to look good in motion and be more of a relatable character. Since I think Aria is a more down to earth relatable person. I think Aria and Osmond will be the more simply dresses of the characters; while the other characters like the other airs will be more extravagant looking.

I'd like to thank D i s for making the google docs for us to work on. Here are the links if you don't already have 'em.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LNrVqodd1TGYJzX_v299rhfvcmkyi4yEWHVVhY0jP0o/edit

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1942JG2fAwNVHAW2fzgWnp7ZlV2ArPg94WBPZ7oThv1A/edit

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1lah627d6bZKx0vC92mJqYRnJXhJECFlzbl0qz88FVmk/edit

https://docs.google.com/document/d/184DmoPfecwIjTKyukb-ykzkD4GuURSj6NrPu2yQVFgU/edit

I'll be posting stuff here as well as there. He's some more plot beat for yeah.

1)     Mr. Broadwell tells Osmond to leave all his stuff behind and walk down the mountain.

2)     Osmond does this but keeps seeing glimpses of the water woman from the cave in the shadows.

3)     He can hear the water woman speaking to him telling him to turn back and continue his quest to find the Empyrean with her instead.

4)     When Osmond reaches a camp he sees a helicopter, and he soon sees his parents are there.  

5)     He’s shocked to see his parents in person. His mother looks very angry, and she almost hits him, but his father stops her.

6)     He yells at them to release Aria.

7)     They tell him they will return her as soon as he returns home.

     He asks his parents why they are doing this, and why can’t they just let him go.

9)     They tell him how the parents could be from an important family that at one point possessed the earth (or Gaian) Flame but lost it when the young heir at the time abandoned their duties and betrayed their co-possessor of the Flame, greatly tarnishing the Clayborne's reputation.

10)                        He surprised to learn that all these years he’s been raised to take the Empyrean

11)                        He asks where Aria is, and they tell him to forget about her, and that she is likely a distant relative of a forgotten rival family that died out long ago.

12)                        Osmond says he won’t cooperate unless he knows Aria is safe.

13)                        They reluctantly agree. They show him phone footage are Aria tied up in one of the helicopters. They tell him, he’ll see her back at the mansion.

14)                        He tells them that Aria’s diary was left back where they slept and that he needs to go get it because it seemed important to her.

15)                        His parents are annoyed with him but let him go with a guard.

16)                        While he’s there he picks up Aria’s diary, but he also secretly picks up the grimoire the book store owner gave him and hides it in his cloths.

2 hours ago, ArchieKun said:

I didn't notice this before, but I think this tree is one found on a north African island in south med sea. I do agree though it looks amazing in black and white.

It's definitely African looking, but I'm not sure of the specific place.

On 5/16/2019 at 11:17 PM, Ｄｉｓ said:

I don't know what sort of tone to go for, or if I'll be able to control the tone of the writing, since I've done very little creative writing. For now I'll just go with the flow, getting stuff on the page and posting it here to see where it stands. As to the parents, they should be strict, but after Osmond leaves they might change their approach to cater to him. Although if they realize how much he's learned, they might be better off trying to get rid of him as he'd be more of a rival to them than an asset. And I was thinking maybe the parents' relationship is rocky, which is why they can't take the Empyrean Flame themselves.

That's a good idea. I think I have a better idea of what to do with the parents now. Don't worry about controlling the tone. I (or others) will probably end up editing it a few times anyway. We just need something that's out there and concrete so we can move forward with production.

Profile pics for Osmond and Aria. Tell me what you think. 

Possible profile pics. I kinda want Aria's eyes more shiny. 

1 hour ago, Ｄｉｓ said:

I don't know what sort of tone to go for, or if I'll be able to control the tone of the writing, since I've done very little creative writing. For now I'll just go with the flow, getting stuff on the page and posting it here to see where it stands. As to the parents, they should be strict, but after Osmond leaves they might change their approach to cater to him. Although if they realize how much he's learned, they might be better off trying to get rid of him as he'd be more of a rival to them than an asset. And I was thinking maybe the parents' relationship is rocky, which is why they can't take the Empyrean Flame themselves.

That's a good idea. I think I have a better idea of what to do with the parents now. Don't worry about controlling the tone. I (or others) will probably end up editing it a few times anyway. We just need something that's out there and concrete so we can move forward with production.

1 hour ago, Ｄｉｓ said:

Should I take the plot beats and start writing a rough draft with what we have so far? And I was thinking the parents could be from an important family that at one point possessed the earth (or Gaian) Flame, but lost it when the young heir at the time abandoned their duties and betrayed their co-possessor of the Flame, greatly tarnishing the Clayborne's reputation.

Yeah! Starting the rough draft would be great; I'll have the plot beats sorted out completely pretty soon. I would be good to know what type of 'voice' the actual writing will have. I like your idea for the parents background. I feel like now would be a good time to get a sort of natural plot dump from them. I was also wondering what they would be like personality wise. I would imagine them being very strict people but I feel like that might be to over done in a way. I like the idea of them using Osmond to make up for mistakes in the past. What do you think? 

2 hours ago, Ｄｉｓ said:

I have some more ideas for rivals and history of the world, maybe they can fit in with what you've been working on. I've been working on profiles for Fey and Oslow; whether or not they're up to par with what I wanted I will have them up this weekend. Also, how about we start a document on Google Docs?

St. Vitus family- An aristocrat educated in thaumaturgy and alchemy, Vitus became venerated as a Saint after he conquered Leviathan, Ophan of the Undine Flame. This ended the Deluge that followed the Fall of God, when humanity's gift of free will was actualized, placing the fate of the world in the hands of those with the strongest desire and conviction, regardless of their choice: to affirm or deny it's existence. His failure to discover the elixir of life led to him transferring the Undine Flame into the blood of himself and his wife; they've managed to keep the Undine Flame within their veins through marrying within the family. Due to increasing efforts to obtain their Flame, the family has been hunted to near extinction, and the whereabouts of the current scions, Fey and Oslow, is unknown.

The Deluge- 1000 years after the Fall of God, Leviathan, the Ophan of the Undine Flame, brought a great flood to the Earth meant to destroy humanity. It is said that every 1000 years another similar disaster will take place in an effort to motivate people to gather the flames before the next one occurs; the Empyrean disaster is assumed to be the final and apocalyptic disaster.

Fall of God- after the Fall of Man, in which humanity denied God, God divided itself up into three parts, each a flame burning with life (elan vital), that when collected together will essentially give the possessor the power to make a decision to continue with God's original plan for the world, or to abandon it. In the case of the latter, the consequences are unknown.

A world building page would be good; we could start 4 separate google docs.

one for world building

another for character profiles

Another for store draft 

and another for plot beats 

Hey everybody I've got two new hot and fresh character profiles to help out writers and artist as well as continued plot beats from all your great ideas. We're currently looking for artist to draw character profiles to go along with the descriptions. As usual tell me if anything need to be change or something you want added. Also I might need some help with character profiles for the main character's parents. I honestly have know idea what to do with them.

Book Store Owner

Sex: male

Age: 46

Height: 5’10

Weight: 150

Eye color: Brown

Hair color: Black

Notable physical features: He’s very muscular and has a deep tan. He’s got long hair that goes below his shoulders and a long beard. He has thick eyebrows.

Back Story: He is one of many Book Store Owners to keep the Empyrean and its secrets. When he was young he felt pressured to become a book store owner and the huge responsibility it was keeping the Empyrean. He ran away and joined a motorcycle gang when he was 16 only to come back to be a book store owner when he figured out that, that was what he was meant to do in life. He still owns his motorcycle and enjoys riding it often. He has a rough personality with a short temper. He is very loyal to his friends.

Mr. Broadwell

Sex: male

Age: 53

Height: 5’1

Weight: 200

Hair color: Blonde

Eye color: blue

Notable Physical features: He has short hair in an undercut style. He has narrow piercing blue eyes.

Back Story: He has worked for the Clayborne family for many years. After an early retirement from the CIA due to a leg injury. He now runs every asset of security for the Clayborne family. He’s only met Osmond a few times when he was very young. He’s very grateful to the Clayborne family for hiring him after his injury and would do anything for them.

Water

Sex: N/A

Age: N/A

Height: N/A

Weight: N/A

Hair color: N/A

Eye color: N/A

Notable Physical features: Can take any form but talks the form of a beautiful woman whenever she talks to human and has an echoing female voice.

She doesn’t know when she was born or how, but she knows she is connected to the Empyrean. Over the years she has seen countless people die trying to obtain the Empyrean. She considers the Empyrean to be evil and the humans looking for it to be foolish. She has made it her personal mission to scare away any people trying to find the Empyrean; she will even kill them if they do not listen to her warnings. She can control (and become) anything that contains water. From Oceans, rivers, plants and even animals. Although controlling animals is much more difficult for her since they have the will to fight her control.

This is my basic lay out for how the story will go so far~

20)                        While he waits for Aria to wake up (or die) he starts seeing his imaginary friends again.

21)                        He asks them if they are really Aria’s fairies and they tell him yes. He then asks them if Aria will be okay. They tell him this time she will be okay but if one day she happens to use up too much of her power she will die. He’s baffled by this and ask them why they didn’t tell him this before. They tell him they can only say what the Empyrean wants him to know.

22)                        He’s angered at first because he thought they were his friends. They tell him how they are his friends; friends that will help him on his trials to find the Empyrean. He gets scared when they mention trials. He asks when do the trials begin. They tell him they have already begun.

23)                        Aria wakes up suddenly and startles him. He looks over to her then looks back at the fairies, but they are gone. She tells him about how she dreamt about a giant bug monster swallowing the island piece by piece and how it freaked he out.

24)                        Osmond tries to console her and tells her that the fairies came to visit again. She asked him what they told him, and he tells her they told him about how her powers drain her energy.

25)                        He asked her why she used so much of her power if she knew she could die from it.

26)                        She tells him there was know time to think about that at the time. They would have both been dead if she hadn’t used her power like that.

27)                        Osmond says his parents’ goons probably won’t have killed him and she should worry more about herself.

28)                        Aria is angered by this and storms out of the cave.

29)                        Osmond considers going after her but decides to let her go for a while; thinking that she probably won’t go far anyway.

30)                        The cave seals itself suddenly a few moments after Aria leaves.

31)                        Osmond tries to find some way to escape but can’t find one.

32)                        He’s forced to go deeper into the cave to find some way out.

33)                        The cave is very narrow and full of sharp rocks that give him a few small cuts. He eventually makes it to a point where the cave opens up some more.

34)                        He hears running water in the distance and heads toward it.

35)                        He starts hearing the voice of a woman that seems to be mixed in with the water.

36)                        He still can’t see anything, so he follows her voice. She welcomes him and ask him what he’s looking for.

37)                        At first, he doesn’t know what to say but he eventually says he’s looking for the Empyrean.

38)                        The sharp rocks in the cave light up in an angry red. The red light reveals a woman forming out of the running water, she’s clear but the light makes her red. At first, she appears to be more beautiful than any other woman Osmond has ever seen in real life.

39)                        Osmond ask her what she is. She says she is nothing but also, she is one with everything. Her water starts morphing until she turns into a huge water monster.

40)                        The woman is now a terrifying red water dragon with many faces. The water dragon crashes down on Osmond and its water fills the cave. He starts to swim in order not to drown.

41)                        At he’s trying to swim up he can feel himself being pulled down the water also moves back and forth trying to smash him against the glowing red sharp rocks.

42)                        He manages to grab hold of one of the rocks but the monster forms again in the water and smashes down on the rocks. He is quickly knocked off the rocks.

43)                        He feels himself being pulled down in the water then he feels a hand grab him in the water

44)                        He can tell from the glowing eyes that it’s Aria.

45)                        Aria manages to teleport them both away

46)                        The end up a few feet away from the closed cave and Aria and Osmond are relieved to see each other. They end up promising never to leave each other which makes both embarrassed but they both try to hide it from each other.

47)                        Osmond says he feels like they’re being watched and that they need to keep moving even though Aria is weak from teleporting again.

48)                        Osmond offers to carry her, but she refuses (to embarrassed again)

49)                        They eventually stop; Aria is tired but stops to write in a small book before falling asleep.

50)                        Osmond considers looking in the book for a long time first deciding not to but then giving into temptation.

51)                        Osmond manages to pick up the book and figures out it is a diary.

52)                        He reads a very humorous story about Aria trying to save a cat a few years ago. He also reads about Aria being alone because everyone thought she was crazy. Osmond decides to stop reading the book. He put the book back and goes to sleep himself.

53)                        When he opens his eyes, he can see the water woman he says in the cave is kneeling him staring straight at him. He screams and gets up, but she’s suddenly gone.

54)                        He panics when he finds out Aria is also missing. All her things are still in place. The only new thing is a high-powered walkie talkie.

55)                        He tries to speak into the walkie talkie.

56)                        A very sophisticated as well as irritated man’s voice came over the line.

57)                        He says Osmond’s parents want to talk to Osmond and that they are worried about him. He tells Osmond to call him Mr. Broadwell.

58)                        Osmond demands to know were Aria is. The man on the phone says Aria is safe with him but she will have some kind of terrible accident if Osmond doesn’t cooperate with what he says. He says it would be easy to pull of since most people on the island think she’s crazy anyway.

59)                        Osmond ask him how he knows that about Aria; Mr. Broadwell tells him that his parents are more powerful than even he knows. Nothing can get past them and that he should just cooperate so no one else gets hurt.

60)                        Mr. Broadwell tells Osmond to leave all his stuff behind and walk down the mountain.

61)                        Osmond does this but keeps seeing glimpses of the water woman from the cave in the shadows.

62)                        He can hear the water woman speaking to him telling him to turn back and continue his quest to find the Empyrean with her instead.

63)                        When Osmond reaches a camp he sees a helicopter, and he soon sees his parents are there.  

(Parents come in around here)