LonelyPoet

That sounds great! Any help is awesome. I'm working on finishing up the plot details. I'm trying to get all the groundwork covered. 

Hey everyone! I've got some character profiles that will help out the writers and artist.  I've also changed the names of the characters. Tell me about whatever changes you want to make or how you think the store should progress. I've tried to include all the changes you've mentioned so far in both the character details and the plot.  It's a little early for writers but at this point we need some artist to draw these characters as to go along with there written profiles (does not need to be in color). If you want to read the significant changes to the plot just scroll to the blue writing. All the big changes and progression are there. I'm hoping to use this break to make significant progress with this work. It'd be nice to have a project out there that we all worked on together.  Get back to me when you can, have a nice day~

Osmond Clayborne

Sex: Male

Age: 20

Height: 5’6

Weight: 140

Eye color: Blue

Hair color: Black

Notable physical features: He has hair that’s not very long but long enough to cover his ears. He has a mole under the left eye. He gets a slight tan after he leaves his home.

Back Story: He was a sheltered rich boy his whole life. His parents controlled what sports or activities he participated in with little to no input from him. His parents have trained and planed for him to take over the company throughout his entire life. He hardly ever saw his parents a was taken care of by an always changing group of nannies. He’s had little to no friends throughout his life. He loves to read (fantasy mostly) and lives in fear of the outside world. He has a very sarcastic sense of humor. He loves strawberries and strawberry flavored things. He only puts effort into his clothing occasionally. Usually just wearing jeans and a tee-shirt or hoodie. He’ll sometimes wear a leather jacket.

Aria Alighieri

Sex: Female

Age: 19

Height: 4’8

Weight: 120

Eye color: Brown (Glowing gold)

Hair color: Dark Brown (She dyed the tips pink)

Notable physical features: Has shoulder length hair that keeps in a loose ponytail that has loose strands. Her eyes glow more, the more energy she has. Shining gold with the most energy and brown when she has no energy left. She’s slender with average curves. She has a scratch on her back from a time she fell when she was little.

Back Story: She was born on the island to normal parents. They owned a bakery. One day she said she saw fairies and her parents were amused by it at first, as she continued to say it as she got older she started to isolate the people around her to point were her parents feared for her mental health even feared her as a person. She soon found herself with no friends besides her fairies. She moved out the day she turned 18. She lives in a small apartment and works at a factory on the island. Around the time she turned 18 her eyes started glowing and the fairies told her she had special powers. They told her the more her eyes glowed the more power she had. She eventually learns she can make portals through trial and error. The fairies tell her about the Empyrean and how she is connected to it. She asks the fairies to help find someone that can help her find the Empyrean before she sets out to find it. She is a very earnest person that doesn’t like fighting or danger but will engage in it if she thinks there is no other choice. She enjoys baking but not actually eating baked goods. She can be described as overly clingy to people she considers friends since she is used to losing friends. She has a very tribal sense of fashion that usually consist of light fabrics, sandals, loose clothing and crop tops. She keeps a diary that she’s named Lily.  

Book Store Owner

Sex: male

Age: 46

Height: 5’10

Weight: 150

Eye color: Brown

Hair color: Black

Notable physical features: He’s very muscular and has a deep tan. He’s got long hair that goes below his shoulders and a long beard. He has thick eyebrows.

Back Story: He is one of many Book Store Owners to keep the Empyrean and its secrets. When he was young he felt pressured to become a bookstore owner and the huge responsibility it was keeping the Empyrean. He ran away and joined a motorcycle gang when he was 16 only to come back to be a bookstore owner when he figured out that, that was what he was meant to do in life. He still owns his motorcycle and enjoys riding it often. He has a rough personality with a short temper. He is very loyal to his friends.

 

1)     Osmond Clayborne is a junior college student. He comes from a very rich family. His entire life has been planned out for him by his rich parents. When he graduates from college they even have a wife picked out for him. He hates his way of life but doesn’t see any way to change it. Since it’s the only thing he knows.

2)     He tries to fill the holes in his life through television and books. He finds it difficult to make friends; he also lives with the nagging thought that people will want to take advantage of him for his money.

3)     He has ‘imaginary friends’ that he talks to when he’s lonely. One of the imaginary friends tells him if he wants to leave then he should just leave. Osmond tells his imaginary friend that his parents’ goons would just drag him back home. The imaginary friend tells him to sneak away while he’s supposed to be at school and take nothing with him, so they can’t track him.

4)     Osmond takes the advice and runs away during his scheduled classes. Taking nothing with him but the cloths on his back.

5)     He struggles at first but through hitch hacking and taking odd jobs he eventually finds himself on a small island town.

6)     While looking for work in the town he comes across an old book seller who tells him about the legend of Empyrean. He tells Osmond that Empyrean is the heavenly variety of three flames (other types are of water and earth) which are the dwelling place of God, and whoever inhabits one of these flames becomes a deity. Each flame is guarded by an Orphan, or angelic being. To obtain the right to possess a flame one must reach their breaking point; without exception this must be an ordeal that truly threatens the individuals' sanity. The flames can also only be possessed by two people of opposite sexes, with one inhabiting the flame and holding the power of God, and the other being able to execute that power.

7)     Osmond is skeptical at first but soon becomes engrossed in the legend of Empyrean while working in the man’s book store. He becomes convinced that Empyrean will help him find everything he’s miss out on in life.

     He strikes out one day to find the Empyrean on the island with the vague instructions of the book store owner.

9)     He gets to a high cliff on the island but can’t find his way any further. He sets up camp on the cliff hoping to find the way tomorrow.

 

10)                        He wakes up in the middle of the night when he hears movement outside his tent.

 

11)                        He takes out a pocket knife and hopes the noise goes away thinking it’s a bear.

 

12)                        The noise doesn’t go away and instead gets closer to the to the tent.

 

13)                        He’s surprised that whatever it is unzips the tent. It turns out to be a girl.

 

14)                        The girl is very strange looking. She has eyes that seem to glow in the dark.

 

1)     He tries to get her to leave but she insists she wants his help to find "The Empyrean".  She tells him that her name is Aria Alighieri.

 

2)     He eventually agrees to take her with him to the Empyrean but says he needs to go back to town to get more supplies.

 

3)     When he gets back to town he finds that his parents’ goons are there, and they are looking for him.

 

4)     He manages to make it back to the bookstore to tell the owner goodbye and to thank him. ===

 

5)    The bookstore owner tells him he believes in him and that there’s something special about Aria, but he doesn’t know what. He gives him some food as payment for his services. He also gives him an ancient grimoire whose knowledge is unique to the Island. The bookstore owner tells him that this is the only surviving copy of the book, the book has been passed down in his family of book store owners for decades. He tells them that they can’t let anyone else see the grimoire; many people will want it. It holds the secrets to the incantation to summon the great angel and to use the abilities attained by the flame.

 

6)     They want to talk more and to ask more but there’s no time. The bookstore owner tells them that he won’t tell anyone they were here as he sends them both on there way.

 

7)     He doesn’t have much time to get supplies before running away from them.

 

     Osmond and Aria are corned, and Osmond thinks he’s about to be caught. Aria eyes start glowing more than usual and she opens a portal between them and the goons.

 

9)     The portal takes them a few feet away from the guards.

 

10)                        Osmond is surprised by this but there’s no time for Aria  to explain. She only tells him she needs to see the place she’s teleporting to.

 

11)                        They escape the goons and Aria tells Osmond that she’s always had these powers and she feels it might be connected Empyrean somehow. Osmond tells her about how he’s on the run from his rich family.

 

12)                        They agree to travel together to the Empyrean.

13)                        On the way up the mountain they start asking more about each other’s lives. Osmond is reluctant to answer at first but soon finds that there’s no point in not telling her.

 

14)                        He tells her about his rich parents controlling his life. He even tells her about his imaginary friends telling him to leave even though he is embarrassed. Aria ask what his imaginary friends look like. He’s surprised by the question, but he tells her they look like slightly hominoid bugs with wings. She’s very excited by this she tells him those are her fairies.

 

15)                        She tells him that she’s been able to see these fairies since she was little but no one else can. People thought she was crazy. Her parents even tried to send her to therapy for it, but she knows they are real.

 

16)                        She gets excited saying that means he’s the one. She told the fairies to help her find someone to help her find The Empyrean. She then passes out suddenly.

 

17)                        Osmond panics and tries to find a place where he can hide with her.

 

18)                        He finds a small cave that he carries her to. All he can do is hope she wakes up soon since he doesn’t have much medical knowledge.

 

19)                        Osmond thinks back and remember that Aria’s eyes had slowly been dulling ever since she used her powers and thinks it might mean she was dying.

 

 

18 hours ago, Ｄｉｓ said:

@LonelyPoet Thank you for giving the idea a more concrete form. I feel like this is one of the hardest parts of the writing out of the way . Now we have something to work with!

As far as changes go, I thought maybe the imaginary friend who convinces Alexander to leave could be a familiar of either one of the Ophan, or Willow, in an early attempt at seeking him out. Maybe also to show he has the potential to be heir to a flame. Also, do you have any details on Willow's personality?

 

This can be relied later in the story!

I like your ideas! (I've never watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer I just picked random names XD but thank you for telling me I will change the names.)  "Osmond Clayborne for Alexander and Asia/Aria Alighieri for Willow" are good names. I'll post the character profile for Aria, Osmond, and the Book Store Owner later today as well as revised plot beats. Some of what your saying can be included later in the story. 

As long this is okay with everyone I'll start working on the character profiles. Feel free to make changes to what I already have. 

3 hours ago, Ｄｉｓ said:

I'm sorry I haven't been making any progress, setting time aside to sit down and put my nose to the grindstone is something I've never been good at. There is one character I had an idea for that I'd like to include though, one of the rivals if that's okay. 

Hey that's cool~ This is my plot steps so far. What do you wanna change about it?

1)   Alexander is a junior college student. He comes from a very rich family. His entire life has been planned out for him by his rich parents. When he graduates from college they even have a wife picked out for him. He hates his way of life but doesn’t see any way to change it. Since it’s the only thing he knows.

2)     He tries to fill the holes in his life through television and books. He finds it difficult to make friends; he also lives with the nagging thought that people will want to take advantage of him for his money.

3)     He has ‘imaginary friends’ that he talks to when he’s lonely. One of the imaginary friends tells him if he wants to leave then he should just leave. Alexander tells his imaginary friend that his parents’ goons would just drag him back home. The imaginary friend tells him to sneak away while he’s supposed to be at school and take nothing with him, so they can’t track him.

4)     Alexander takes the advice and runs away during his scheduled classes. Taking nothing with him but the cloths on his back.

5)     He struggles at first but through hitch hacking and taking odd jobs he eventually finds himself on a small island town.

6)     While looking for work in the town he comes across an old book seller who tells him about the legend of Empyrean. He tells Alexander that Empyrean is the heavenly variety of three flames (other types are of water and earth) which are the dwelling place of God, and whoever inhabits one of these flames becomes a deity. Each flame is guarded by an Orphan, or angelic being. To obtain the right to possess a flame one must reach their breaking point; without exception this must be an ordeal that truly threatens the individuals' sanity. The flames can also only be possessed by two people of opposite sexes, with one inhabiting the flame and holding the power of God, and the other being able to execute that power.

7)     Alexander is skeptical at first but soon becomes engrossed in the legend of Empyrean while working in the man’s book store. He becomes convinced that Empyrean will help him find everything he’s miss out on in life.

     He strikes out one day to find the Empyrean on the island with the vague instructions of the book store owner.

9)     He gets to a high cliff on the island but can’t find his way any further. He sets up camp on the cliff hoping to find the way tomorrow.

 

10)                        He wakes up in the middle of the night when he hears movement outside his tent.

 

11)                        He takes out a pocket knife and hopes the noise goes away thinking it’s a bear.

 

12)                        The noise doesn’t go away and instead gets closer to the to the tent.

 

13)                        He’s surprised that whatever it is unzips the tent. It turns out to be a girl.

 

14)                        The girl is very strange looking. She has eyes that seem to glow in the dark.

 

15)                        He tries to get her to leave but she insists she wants his help to find "The Empyrean".  She tells him that her name is Willow.

 

16)                        He eventually agrees to take her with him to the Empyrean but says he needs to go back to town to get more supplies.

 

17)                        When he gets back to town he finds that his parents’ goons are there and they are looking for him.

 

18)                        He doesn’t have much time to get supplies before running away from them.

 

19)                        Alexander and Willow are corned, and Alexander thinks he’s about to be caught. Willows eyes start glowing more than usual and she opens a portal between them and the goons.

 

20)                        The portal takes them a few feet away from the guards.

 

21)                        Alexander is surprised by this but there’s no time for Willow to explain. She only tells him she needs to see the place she’s teleporting to.

 

22)                        They escape the goons and Willow tells Alexander that she’s always had these powers and she feels it might be connected Empyrean somehow. Alexander tells her about how he’s on the run from his rich family.

 

23)                        They agree to travel together to the Empyrean.

Sooooo my test are finally over! Now I can work on the storyboard. I'll start from the summary given from D. I'll get back to you when it's complete. 

On 4/25/2019 at 10:16 PM, Ｄｉｓ said:

Ok, here goes... the Empyrean is the heavenly variety of three flames (other types are of water and earth) which are the dwelling place of God, and whoever inhabits one of these flames becomes a deity. Each flame is guarded by an Ophan, or angelic being. To obtain the right to possess a flame one has to reach their breaking point; without exception this must be an ordeal that truly threatens the individuals' sanity. The flames can also only be possessed by two people of opposite sexes, with one inhabiting the flame and holding the power of God, and the other being able to execute that power.

...thankfully I'll have all day tomorrow to work on this, so I can actually try to pull a story and some characters out of this lol. Also @@LonelyPoet is that a pet chicken?

Is there anything else you want to add to the summary before I start on the storyboard. 

I only have one more test to go for college before summer. I'll have time to start some serious work on this soon. Can't tell you when it'll be finished though.

18 hours ago, Seshi said:

I know there were a few members wanting to collab- this should be good for them

@LonelyPoet put your light novel work up here?

That sounds like a great idea. 

5 hours ago, Seshi said:

So I’ve got 2 friends who suffered severe damage to their bodies and brains from motorcycle accidents, and know of one person who was run over in traffic (minding his own business) and got killed. One of my friends who was in a coma and suffered bodily scars and brain damage went off into a construction zone because the road suddenly ended. Sometimes those things come up, and it’s lucky there aren’t more addicents because of them, but even in my relatively small town, when construction on roads is being done or even random junk is in the road or there was a fender bender - people have to immediately react to change their speed and or swerve out of the way to avoid a collision. Some people would argue that a bike would be easier to pass such an accident or road block, but it’s not as safe to do split second maneuvers on a bike, it takes a lot more awareness and control of your body whereas in a car you can just slam on the breaks and not have to worry too much. 

If you do decide to get one, highways aren’t the most unsafe place, there are a lot less obstacles on highway, it’s mostly stop and go traffic that is the problem. I’d say there are more accidents in the city, and cause more problems especially with crowding. If you’re afraid of speed of a highway and losing control of your bike, then perhaps it’s not a good choice for you anyway. Maybe get a Polaris 3 wheeler (spider?)instead - they look safer.

That's really good to consider. I'm mostly concerned about the speed on the highway and being hit by bigger cars. I'm thinking about weather it's worth it or not. I don't want to be around a lot of other cars. I might just wait till I can move out further into the country. 

5 hours ago, ArchieKun said:

I would be lying if I said I did not agree that they kinda are bad, or at least load. They tend to annoy me when I am out walking, and nothing against bikers themselves  I just don't like load leeches quizzing by of any kind. With this said this dose not mean by any means that motorcycles are inherently bad, or good. I just personally do not like them.

What do you mean by "load leeches quizzing"

Good old inu meme

I've been trying to save up to buy a motorcycle for a few months now (I've only got about 500 dollars saved so far lol) but every time I say I'm going to get one everyone says it's dangerous and I shouldn't get one. It be fine if it was just my mom saying that because she says everything is dangerous; I don't take her seriously anymore. This time though everyone seems to think driving a motorcycle is a bad thing. It never really seemed that dangerous to me as long as you ride responsibly and stay off of busy highways. Do any of you have opinions about motorcycles? What do you think of peopride motorcycles? Are they extremely dangerous?

2 hours ago, Seshi said:

Haha- I’ll bet there’s someone here who can relate to that

 (Meme not GIF, sorry)

 

I always appreciate an Inuyasha meme.

Handa punches an old man

I really like how some things look in black and white. Here are some alien looking trees.

Running away from home maybe? Hopefully I pass all my dumb classes.

I have a submission! This is an original character.  

 

Hi ya!

This guy is boss. He's dressed as Dn'D

18 minutes ago, Ｄｉｓ said:

Ok, here goes... the Empyrean is the heavenly variety of three flames (other types are of water and earth) which are the dwelling place of God, and whoever inhabits one of these flames becomes a deity. Each flame is guarded by an Ophan, or angelic being. To obtain the right to possess a flame one has to reach their breaking point; without exception this must be an ordeal that truly threatens the individuals' sanity. The flames can also only be possessed by two people of opposite sexes, with one inhabiting the flame and holding the power of God, and the other being able to execute that power.

...thankfully I'll have all day tomorrow to work on this, so I can actually try to pull a story and some characters out of this lol. Also @@LonelyPoet is that a pet chicken?

That sounds really great so far! Tell me when you have your story idea more fleshed out so we can get started on writing. And yeah that is my pet chicken. 

1 minute ago, Kinbaryu said:

Yes! It's Strider Hiryu from the Strider series. Unfortunately, it's mostly a dead franchise, with the most recent game being Strider 2014. Hiryu mostly appears in fighting cameos now. 

I noticed that you're working on a Light Novel. Good luck with that! I'm working on a Visual Novel myself, and it's definitely a lot of work. I'll probably blog about updates to it, but a playable version might take a while. It'll definitely be free for all to play, though. What plans do you have for your Light Novel?

I'm currently recruiting people to work on the story with me. We're getting the story together as well. It's basically going to be a novel with pictures. I'd love to see the updates on your visual novel. 

Classroom Of The Elite?

Hi! Your profile picture is cool is it from something?

Right now it's Robin Hood Men in Tights 

Sounds sway!