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Sakura

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Blog Entries posted by Sakura

  1. Sakura

    Pictures
    I've had a strange last week-ish when it comes to emotions. I don't really know why I can't get mine in check lately. I feel like I'm going from one moment of extreme happiness to the next moment an hour later to extreme sadness. I probably actually have a good idea why, which confuses me even more, but I don't think I'll get it under control until I figure out this situation. I've spent the last few years not having any type of real feelings for anyone else, and honestly I was fine with that. There was 1 person, and this 1 person only, who I haven't seen in awhile & he never knew how I felt to begin with, but I'm not going to get into all that here lol ~ and then I went and caught feelings for someone, ew. 
    I was debating telling them until they called me and started telling me about some girl they had just started dating. I don't think I've really felt "okay" since that happened last week. While that hurt I also felt kinda.. glad? After I really thought about it. Mostly because I feel like I'm getting feelings for someone else and those bother me even more because I can't figure out if I really am or not. Also that person lived in Brazil and while we've met once before IRL I always felt like he was just using me for various things and as if I was just someone to talk to when there was nothing better going on. When I look back on it all though I realized I never said *anything* to him at all about anything I felt and basically was just living out whatever I thought we were/could be in my head. May have been a good thing though. 
    As far as the other person goes, I haven't figured that out yet either, and I feel nothing but extreme confusion with whatever I'm feeling there. I mostly just want to go out into the woods and scream at a tree about it. I don't know how I went from years of being content with just me and understanding that was all it was ever going to be, to being hurt by some idiot and absolutely losing my mind about another guy at the same time. Though neither of them know/knew and odds are I won't tell this other person either. I never know how to confess that to someone so instead I just put up cryptic Discord messages and try to hope they are psychic or something lmaoo
    All that aside though I went up to the roof today to think about all this and there was the most magnificent sunset I've seen in a long time 💜 I sat up there watching it until all the colors had gone from the sky. That's what I have pictures of today for this, so I hope you enjoy looking at them and sorry about the rambling. 
    Piccys below vvv
     
     
    There is also a short video I took of it:
    https://i.imgur.com/ei92yRX.mp4
  2. Sakura

    Pictures
    I've been going through some of my old photography from Chicago and I've realized how much I miss it. I usually just ignore feelings when I can, especially sad ones, but I suppose it hit me really hard today/last night. I know I have to be where I am right now for school but I don't know how else to put it other than it sucks. 
    I miss the school I was going to there, I miss my friends, I miss living down the hall from my sister, I miss the little store I went to on the way home from school, I miss sitting by the lake, I miss going to the aquarium and the Beluga whales I got to play with sometimes while doing class credits, I miss being near my dad, I miss walking downtown at night listening to music, I miss the trains and subways, I miss the little spot I'd sit at on the river walk and do my HW, I miss going to Grant Park, I miss riding the electric scooters downtown, I miss going to the shopping center in Rosemont, I miss going to all the anime conventions around there, I miss doing silly things like the time the power was out and for some reason me and some friends just went Naruto running in the park lol, I miss the apartment I lived in, I even miss he way the air smelled (which is weird for it being a city). I just miss a lot of things and I've never felt so homesick. 
    Oh well, I guess I really have no choice but to just get over it. 
    Here's some picture I had taken from the place I used to sit quite often and have lunch at. I had a specific bench that was "mine" lol
     
  3. Sakura

    Pictures
    I've decided to make a blog on here mostly to post my photography because I love to take pictures. Mind you, I'm under no circumstances a professional photographer, I just like to take pictures of things I find pretty. That'll mostly be nature such as flowers, animals, sunsets/sunrises, water scenes from when I'm out on the boat (I'm studying to become a Marine Biologist so I'm on the water quite often), snow scenes or architecture because I'm quite fascinated with buildings. 
    I'll also probably ramble here occasionally about whatever's going on in my life or my mind at the time. 
    For now I'll just start off with posting some of my favorite pictures I've taken. Most of these were taken in Chicago, Illinois. I'll always keep these behind spoilers so they don't overwhelm the page. You can just click on it to view the picture. 
     
    Chicago at night:
     
    Some water scenes:
     
     
    Random architecture & parks:
     
    Welp., that's all for now. I'm still sorting through some of my old photography so I'll try to do that tomorrow and post some more of it in my next entry on this. It's just a matter of organizing it but I seem to not have a lot of time during the week with classes going on. By the time I get home half the time I just get in bed anyway and play on my phone. 
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