Oh - aah - ... ehm... The thing is that I feel like I transform into something partially new with every introspection, it's a never-ending transformation.
Here are the facts:
I am much more sensitive than it really looks like, to various emotions, but especially to strong ones, I'll explain in detail later.
I think in ways that seem unnatural.
I am dangerously sadistic and spiteful.
I can be stubborn, but always remain open-minded.
I dare say I live in some form of state of ataraxia (constant happiness, by the fact of "being" something).
Now, how do I interpret this?
I see myself as an unnatural thinking human being, due to the fact that barely a minuscule part of world-spread cultural/mental behaviours apply to me. I cannot let go of grudges easily, I have this conviction that a person does not deserve to be forgiven unless they mean to be forgiven, and make an effort to undo their damage, no matter how much time has passed since they committed whatever it is that's wrong to my eyes, so if I see this person has not changed their way of being, forgiveness is out of question. Therefore in that aspect, I am ruthless, and I accept that; not everyone deserves the same mercy.
Every time I'm confronting a new behaviour or a new culture, I genuinely try to understand its reasons, however, this does not mean I'm not going to reject this culture, if it has aspects I find wrong, I'll avoid having myself linked to it in any way, in other words, I mean to show myself as a person without notion of patriotism, or belonging to a place/culture, because of the fact I was born there. To me, that's a mistake.
As said, a small portion of my happiness comes from myself (I like how I am, I have consciousness over what I am, what I'm not, what I can be, what I can't be, what I can do, what I can't do...), so the rest of it comes from the happiness of my friends, their own state of being, their own problems, I consider them partially as my own and will always offer assistance to make them happy.
All summarized in a single sentence: I don't live to be happy, I live to prevent those I find worthy from being unhappy.