Ok, lets just face the facts, im in a horrible mood tonight, so let me lay this down:
Everything you said is based completely on personal opinion, which is completely respectable. here is mine:
1: women are portrayed in the way they are, because it actually makes the anime interesting to a much broader amount of viewers. If every single female anime character was highly intellectual, with no appeal to the opposite gender, then how boring would that be for the majority of fans already in the series? Besides, its like everything: in movies, for example , blond women are portrayed always as being dumb. its almost always the case, because the producer only has about 2 hours to tell you this message, so stereotypes are the way to do it.
Unfortunately, stereotypes work in the same way in anime as well. They have a breife amount of episodes to lay down what each character is like, and how they will play a roll.
2: Gigantic, emotionless eyes? I think not!
The main art style and appeal of anime is commonly the eyes. With every single artist making their own unique design, its hard to say they are all large and emotionless. I mean, the eyes are the hardest part to draw on an anime character, especial when it comes to detail.
Its an art style.
3: erm, you know the main attraction to ANYTHING is merchandise. People collect the strangest things. Collectors can get into ANY item, so I don't see any harm at all in people having an obsession over anime merchandise.
Its something close and personal to the owner. why criticize them on what makes them happy D: