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installed

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Posts posted by installed

  1. hello everyone,

    my name is kameron and i’m 16. recently i’ve been looking where i’d be at in the future and it brung me to a reality of i’m going to go nowhere. i just feel like not being here anymore recently, i have the world’s greatest parents that always offer their support. i don’t like opening up to anyone i prefer texting over chat as it’s easier for me. i don’t care about myself, or try to fix myself, ihave no drive to do anything, i get up and go to my desk and be there all day, i rarely ever go out of my room. i don’t have the greatest hygiene either, my teeth are bad and don’t brush them all that often, same thing with showering. i take adderall for my adhd to help me focus “in class” even though it’s at home, i just don’t do it. people say i’m smart, i sometimes do, but with certain things, i never applied myself to school. coming off of it makes me feel like even more crap. making me even more depressed. i don’t eat all.. my mom came in and talked about school so i do work. i don’t eat healthy food, bad grades from not doing work. i really only drink soda for the most part. but when i take adderall i lose my appetite to eat as well as drink. i like taking the pill because i want to get skinnier/slimmer but it’s only hurting me even more. in 2018 first year of highschool i was depressed and went to self harm and i think about that sometimes but i don’t do it. i probably would’ve already been gone if i didn’t have such loving people in my life, i don’t want to hurt them..and i love them so much..i don’t have any drive to try to change i don’t know why or what’s wrong with me. i don’t tell anyone on how i feel inside, not my parents, siblings, friends, my girlfriend. i just want to get some help, of how to change and be better, i hate being sad like this.. i stay on my computer all day because to escape my shitty reality. i want to change, i have so many problems to deal with that i don’t know how. i just want to be normal and want to live and be happy. i have a short temper i over think and rush to conclusions and i don’t know what to do. i just need someone to help me, or where to begin. i don’t know anything, i just want to change.

    please pm PM, or add my discord. ZeroTwo#0002

    (if you add my discord youre gonna have to reply with your name on discord because i have a lot of friend requests)

    (there’s so many things in my mind that keep popping up and i want to add it.)

    (re-reading this and my adhd is showing with all the “i” statements and jumping all over from topic-to-topic)

    (at the time of writing this i’m in a call with my girlfriend, coming up on 7 months and i’m currently muted writing this, and didn’t tell her and don’t want to unmute as i don’t want to make her sad because of me crying.)

     

  2. Hello everybody! I've been dormant on this site. hopefully some of you remember me. well, somewhat. 

    I've been doing my own thing, had to focus on school and other life things. Now that school is over. and we're in quarantine and I live in Minnesota so I don't really want to go outside, not like I even went outside but you get my point. Just wanted to say hello to everybody and I'll try to be more active. But my last post was in a Minecraft forum.

    What's going on with my life? I found a girlfriend that I can really relate to, actually perfect. But she lives far away from me in Long Island, but that is really that's all that happened. I'm going to be a Junior (11th grade) in High School or grade 12 in England or where ever that terminology is used.  

     

  3. Aye

    Ive never played any version above 1.7.10. That's the only version i play because of a game mode called Potion PvP. I should've played a newer version of the game since I've started MC in 2011 or 2012. My IGN is installed

  4. Welcome on in!

    The beginning of chimera any arc was pretty bad. started to get good when the king was born. But with that long ass Arc, it was worth it seeing Gon fight Neferpitou

    • Like 1
  5. 3 minutes ago, ArchieKun said:

    From my personal experience it is best to avoid non Netflix original anime on Netflix because of this missing episode issue your experiencing. This is because Netflix much like any other streaming service needs to get licensing to stream the episodes. In certain cases they can only have licencing for a portion of the episodes because its cheaper for them. This issue is a thing from Netflix to Crunchyroll, and everything in between. Though with Netflix original anime such as Violet evergarden are released in binge worthy totality because thats how Netflix has made its mark with everything they stream. So my advice to you is to stick to other streaming sites honestly, but if you want to ficus on Netflix look for Netflix original anime as it will be released completely since Netflix holds the licensures for it. 

    Ok, thank you so much. What sites should I stream them on? I watch 9Anime.To. But when i'm on my pc there's a windows app called "Animetube Unlimited" which has all the good streaming sites, like 9Anime, KissAnime ect.

    • Like 1
  6. What are some good Netflix anime that has all the episodes. For example Hunter X Hunter on Netflix only has the Spider Arc, nothing past. I'm assuming only Netflix originals will have all the episodes.

  7. 3 minutes ago, RZ. said:

    Really fantastic. A harsh reminder of why I decided to scrap drawing and stick to writing instead 😅

    Could i see some of your writing? Hey i'm not that good compared to some people out there! But thank youu so much for the compliment means a lot

  8. Name: installed Age: 16 Gender: Male

    Big or Little Spoon? As long as I feel loved and warm and we're together.

    Kisses? Anytime you want to. Where:  Anywhere, because I love youuuu.

    Acceptable Nicknames: Anything, that isn't mean >:(

    Can We Build a Fort? Yessssssss, that's so cute and romantic

    Video Games/Movies: Minecraft, Scott Pilgrim. Animeeeee 

    Pillow Fight? Is that even a question!? Yes!

    Pants Required? Whatever you're most comfortable with!

    Can I Fall Asleep? Yessss... I dream of that. head on my chest and hand on my stomach. 😭

    • Like 1
  9. 3 hours ago, Illusion of Terra said:

    @installed I get that. Different people have different approaches and ways to deal with stuff. Not knowing your whole background, I might have been too 'brisk' in my statements. 
    I think I expressed myself poorly 😂 no hard feelings!
    The making it sound like a form thing is mostly because I am terrible at writing things in a casual way (in my defense, I'm not a native speaker 😂 ), so a lot of stuff I say sounds like it is from some college paper.

     

    It's fine lol. I was joking about that. I didn't really what you made it seem.

    • Like 1
  10. 1 hour ago, Illusion of Terra said:

    Hi there! We need some younger members around here, so stick around 😂 

    Can't say I had any such experience when it comes to anime, but generally, and this is just my own opinion, I think it might be more helpful to talk to someone in person (if there are any available) rather than on the internet when it comes to serious things like these. But I think this depends from person to person. Anyway, hope someone here fits the description for discord dms!

    Thank you for your response. Being a young teenager has its perks of, social anxiety, stress all of that fun stuff. If someone comes to my house that i don't know, instead of going upstairs/downstairs for food when i get hungry I'd rather be hungry than to talk to people and have a conversation. 

    With that being said, I've tried a therapy type thing. And i absolutely hated it. I try to avoid talking to my friends about it because they'll probably make fun of me somehow or tease me about it, which that'll get to me very easily. Only one friend I might talk to but i try not to. I feel more safe talking to people online as it's easier to ignore them if something does arise, and i feel more comfortable with it, unsure why i do but i just do. Also you made it seem like it's a forum that you have to fill out, just send me a friend request. There is no requirement.

    • Like 1
  11. 22 minutes ago, RZ. said:

    Hello there and welcome. I had a similar experience to yours (though not as extreme) when I watched Neon Genesis Evangelion (I really don't recommend this show if you're having a tough time with your mental health. It is possibly the most traumatic thing I have or will ever watch and it's not something to watch in the wrong state of mind). It was actually the show that got me into the anime and it sent me into a serious existential crisis and depression for about a month. I almost failed my work experience module at university because of it and it seriously changed my outlook on life. Mine was more a sudden realisation of nihilism - which wasn't nice, and would've been quite disturbing if I didn't find these sorts of things fascinating. Nevertheless, I did eventually get through it. 

    It sounds to me like your depression is connected to an immediate loneliness, mainly from the fact you say that getting attached to characters and wanting an "anime relationship" are primary contributing factors. Believe me, I understand this all too well. It was something I experienced a lot when I was your age (I'm nearly 22 now) as a below-average looking, socially anxious teenager. I remember always wanting to have a relationship similar to characters from my favorite shows, anime or otherwise. It caused me to take actions in pursuit of that goal which were totally unrealistic. This is stating the obvious somewhat, bjt imagine if Tsundere's, for example, really existed - it would go very differently to how it does in anime.  I'd like to say that it's easy to break out of, but it isn't. All I can say is what helps/helped me - focusing on that which I had in the present, not placing too much importance on the perceived NEED of a relationship (especially one similar to that shown in anime), but also a general acceptance of myself for who I am. 

    Hope this may help you a little bit. If you want to discuss further please send me a PM. My name is Michael :)

    It won't let me PM. "You're only allowed 0 messages a day" something along those lines.

  12. Hello everybody, i'm only new to anime but i've been watching it for around two years, as of writing this, i've watched 700+ episodes. But nonetheless,

     

    im 16 years old, i'm very anti-social and shy. I'm pretty much playing games on my computer and watching anime, decent grades.

    I also get really emotionally connected, like for example.. Darling in the FRANXX. When i watched it for the first time, i was crying pretty much the whole time throughout, especially at the end/when i finished it i was depressed for a 2-3 months, in the past i've had depression and was all suicidal, but after watching it i felt back to how i was then. I couldn't handle myself in school, everything i see reminded me of them (Zero Two and Hiro) and Darling in the FRANXX in its entirety. Drawing her to keep my mind off of it. I had to take a break from anime after fucking with my head. I couldn't  finish Re:zero because of it already mentally fucking with me. I've always wanted to have a anime 'relationship'  Why did i share this? I want to find someone to help me and talk to me and let me open up and help me through it. I prefer having that person being a girl, sounds dumb but it doesn't matter anyone is fine. I really just want to connect with someone that's been in my situation.

     

    extra information about me: My name is Kameron. Never been in a relationship. Prefer to talk on discord. if you have it add me. ZeroTwo#0002.  

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