Soramee_
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Status Updates posted by Soramee_
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Hi
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Feeling like shit again… when will this end damnit
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@Sarada don't hit me
unless it actually would make him feel better in which case it's okay I guess ;-; beat the heck outta me lmao
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How is there so many bad things happening on the same day… this is hell
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I hate working but at least I can watch azumanga on my phone during my break
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I finally found why i am in depression or at least a part of it.finally damnit. took so fucking long but im so glad i can finally see a bit of hope. after three years. i can't stop crying haha
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Haven’t done anything I wanted to do for the past week. I even skipped some days but I just ended up sleeping. This is really painful. I want to play games or read visual novels but i don’t have any energy. I just wanna have fun. I did play with my new friend but it was mostly me sitting in a vc with her and her friends saying nothing. It wasn’t really fun lol. But I’m used to it at this point. Never finding anybody to talk to or anybody I can connect with. Never having genuine fun and not being able to say anything I truly think. I feel like I need a lot of rest but I won’t able to get it since it’s always more important for my parents for me to go to school and get good results on exam. Even on days I need rest I’m still forced to study, to catch up what I’m missing, not being allowed to do anything I like and because I’m only left with the option of sleeping so it can be the night faster. I’m scared of even talking about what I feel or what I think. I’m scared of posting this. Idk why. If I want to fight back to get more rest and actually recover even just a little bit I would need to fight and… that would just hurt me and hurt my parents even more. I always need to look happy with everyone. I always need to put a mask. Idk what to do. Nothing affects me anymore. I don’t feel anything. Whenever there is a chance I get happier my brain just changes correlates it to something I hate and makes me forget the rest. This is torture. I can’t even cry. I can’t even shout. My body won’t let me. I have become so scared of my parents coming down in my room in a panick, like they always do, that the moment I cry, the idea of them coming into my room just keeps appearing in my head continuously without it going away and in the end making my body stop crying. I can’t even feel relief. I can’t even feel emotions. I can’t even control my body. I can’t focus. I can’t remember anything. I can’t feel comfortable. I can’t be myself. I can’t even say anything to anybody. I can’t do things I like. What just what am I supposed to do anymore. I need help. Sorry for being selfish but I really need help. I need someone to help me. This is my last call. This is the only place with remains of myself.
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I failed… yet again I failed. Like every single time, I failed. I don’t know who to trust anymore. Idk what is good or bad. Idk what I should be doing. I need help but have nobody so I guess I have to figure it out alone yet again. Like every single time. Alone
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I don't know what you are going through, but I'm here to talk if you want :c You have friends here on AF that would/will gladly talk to you and help you in whatever way we can, if you want to talk about what's going on that is. I hope you feel better, and things get better, and know that you are not alone
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I wanna have fun playing games or something but my head hurts and I don’t feel good. My parent will probably say it’s from stress like they always do and change the topic but even then It still is there. On top of that I still feel nothing or at least very light feel emotions when doing anything I like. I’ll try to resubscribe to ff14 since it has been months that i last played it and I feel like I would really need to play and do dungeons right now. Will need for my parents to not notice or else I’ll get in trouble since I recently bought the new sao game
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I’m so stressed I’m gonna go back to my old high school in two days. I want to have a year I can remember fondly or something. This is my last chance. All or nothing. But I still don’t feel like I can do it correctly right now. Idk what I should do to change everything that i hate about my high school life right now. I’ll do some research on what to do tomorrow. I’ll do my best
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I’m stressed to the point of crying but I’m not allowed to stay home on a school day for the entire year it seems
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Glad you are feeling a little better now ~ Do you at least have a couple of methods that work for you to help you calm down when having a panic attack? I have them every now and then too + anxiety attacks and have a few things I do that help me when nothing else really will but I always feel a bit bad for several days after one.
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@Sakura no I don’t have any beside just watching anime or playing games I like lol. It happens a lot so I haven’t even had the time to really find one. I’ve been on medications but they don’t do a lot it’s more for my parent to calm themselves that I take them. It can usually take days too to recover. Sorry I don’t have anything to help you too but thank you
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I got confirmation that im gonna go to japan next summer. im so happy. life has been so hard these past years... im so happy to finally have gotten something good happening to me, especially since it has been a childhood dream of mine. i still don't feel as much emotions as before but im so happy lol.
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I feel like I lost hope, I lost a bunch of my friends, I got treated like shit by one of them which I considered one of my good friends, there is no way for my dream becoming reality anymore, a vtuber I supported had to go to the hospital, I got hated by another vtuber because of multiple cases that were basically bad luck, I don’t feel comfortable anywhere, I just wanna sleep everywhere, I don’t feel like doing anything even playing games or watching anime, my mind keeps thinking bad things, I keep thinking about things I don’t want to uncontrolabily, I can’t remember most of my memories, my head feels empty, I don’t feel any emotion, when I wanna cry my tears just don’t come out, I can’t even do any loud noise or my dad will come in my room all agitated and worried as if s gun got blasted off, I don’t even wanna play a game I always wanted to, somebody I thought could become a true friend did bad things (not to others but to himself), I feel like all my passion are lost, I feel like I’m not connected to my brain anymore, I feel like I can’t become who I wanna be anymore, I feel like nobody could help me, i just feel like I wanna be alone even tho I know I also don’t Want to, stress keeps building up, my teachers keeps making us see films that are way to weird and just makes me feel uncomfortable, I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t have any energy left mentally, nothing makes me feel emotions that much now, my head hurts, I always wanted a girlfriend but I feel like I can’t, i still feel as if there was something stuck in my throat every time, the only time I feel like my emotions can get out it’s when my parents are asleep so I can’t make any sound, im just tired. Sorry for always saying these things here, sorry, I’m really sorry.
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I want an high school romance… already in my second year though
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I think we all dreamed of this kind of romance and honestly sometimes it's great and sometimes it's not. Some people find it and some people find it later in life and every one of the options is fine. Young love can come with a lot of hurt. I was lucky enough to find my fiancee in high school but at the same time, I went through downs before that. I know loads of peeps who didn't get into a relationship before college because well, it's honestly easier to find people more like you in such an open learning environment. So my advice for you is don't rush these things, make sure you find someone you like and who equally likes you back, a relationship isn't 50/50, it's 100/100. And if nobody in your life is like that then it's okay, you're saving yourself from a lot of unnecessary headaches.
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I FEEL THE SAME! I had a few small relationships when I was a first year, but it was nothing serious. Now I'm a third year, and all I want is someone who sees me for who I am. Everywhere I look is couples kissing in the hallways, and I can't help but feel so jealous and angry! I wouldn't kiss my partner in the hallway though, that's gross. I just hate being so lonely, and having friends doesn't make this feeling go away
I just want to be in a relationship already!!!
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sometimes i wish i could have a group of true friends. maybe high school could be more fun. maybe i could be more happy. no im certain i would.
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I can relate to that. When I was in secondary school I really only had a couple of real friends, and they both left during my final year. I'm sure I would have enjoyed school a lot more if I'd had more friends. Unfortunately I was the target of choice of the class thug/bully who had a tendency to also pick on anyone who was friendly towards me.
Fortunately year 5 students weren't expected to attend classes for subjects we weren't sitting exams for, so I spent a lot of my final months at school in empty classrooms studying on my own.
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I always personally found that the only "true" friends that have stuck with me for my whole life were ones I met in high school or grew up with, this limits it to around 4 people, and for them I really am grateful. As for many other people they just tend to come and go, people say University is where you meet your true friends for life but honestly, it's really hard to find that especially in our generation.
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I just wanna have a break. I don’t want to go to school tommorow
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could you tell me what is the name your waifu comes from, im sure i know her
