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Found 23 results

  1. ItsSammy

    Cost.

    Cost Each and every victory comes at a cost So what are you willing to give? Every victory has a bridge to be crossed So how long can you walk, just to live? Each victory sparks pride in your soul and it's fire But the price for your freedom is so extraordinarily high How far are you willing to go just to fly higher? Oh, what if you get too close to the sun and die? Victory! Victory! Shout it from the rooftop For you've over come a demon in your own mind The cost! The cost! Don't stand to close to the roof's drop Of you might just find the demons you didn't leave behind. In a moment of joy you feel over come With the pride that you've fought another day But that moment passes and you succumb To the feeling in your head that says, "It's doomsday!" You fought for your victory but you'll die for the cost For one small victory does not over come your own mind If no one helps you quick then your entire life may be lost For your mind kills you slowly and every night you unwind. So don't cheer too fast and don't smile too quick For a victory is a mere battle won, not the war And you may find that you blood runs thick When the demons come knocking at your door.
  2. ItsSammy

    Better

    Better My plate is full but I can't seem to eat Just turning the fork over in my hand And I feel too big for this large seat So I'll just excuse myself and stand Go outside, once again, to pretend Like there is really nothing wrong Because I can see no nearing end And this play has drug on too long But I can't stop and I won't stop For if I did, I fear that I'd fail Be even worse, bottom to top I can't have that, so I set sail Into the abyss of my mind To ignore the growls And instead find The cruel howls That flood My blood Oh, I've been sick again today And cast out my retched meal For I fear it affects what I weigh And I'm sick of this, of how I feel I just can't seem to get any better Any worse though and I'd be dead I don't really fit in my sweater But "I'm better." I said For now I look quite thin But they don't think so And I can never win So here, here wo go Once again I will feel This awful, horrid pain But I won't kneel as I Feel my blood drain Am I good enough now? Am I good enough now? I just didn't know what to do ... I don't know what you want I don't know what you want And now I don't know what's true ...
  3. ItsSammy

    Anxiety

    Anxiety Awake at sunrise Watching the sky Everything once dies But, what then, am I? For pain is unto death And fear is unto the grave I can't take a single breath So please, come and save Me, Myself and I From this terrible fate No longer looking at the sky Now too tired, too late For the sky is alight Yet the world is in black The sun shines bright But I only turn my back For when the sun doth rise I finally take my sleep For in sleep I say my goodbyes And in dreams I doth not weep But only when the sun doth shine I finally lay down my head On the pillow beside me and mine In this grave I call a bed For I stay awake 'til I cannot Then I finally turn on my side For in the dark I doth rot But when the sun rises, I hide For this mind of mine is sick It is twisted and broken For I hear the clock tick And not a word have I spoken For away I ran to my room So as not to let them see This pale, deathly doom That wraps its arms around me Holding tight, evermore Clutching now, my throat Loose me? Nevermore For in the dark it doth gloat Calling my name and taunting me now For it knows I have naught, if not for it But in my bed I doth lie, not ready to bow For still I fight, still I fight, but it will not fit For my fight brings only more pain and fear Only more agony for my heart to endure And I do not know if I draw ever near To the life I hate, or my precious cure For it is hard to tell when your eyes are blind Welling with tears caused by the fears That I suffer every night and can not bind For they continuously whisper in my ears And make my heart race so fast I fear I might fall dead, in this very bed That I have hated, yet loved through the years For I am naught, if I am not this dead ...
  4. ItsSammy

    The skeptics love

    The skeptics love Frost in the heir The cost of the crown Being lost isn't fair Tossed right on down ... Are you willing to pay in blood, my dear? Have you counted the cost of this crime? Are you willing to let yourself live in fear? Or will you take what is rightfully thine? A kingdom of fear A king of his own No one comes near Nor bows before the throne. A criminal child Lost in this place Alone and mild Yet caught in a chase. His crime I condone The plan I doth make For his crime is mine own And I will partake. Unstable, enabled Crying those tears labeled, fabled Lost in those years. Are you willing to pay in blood, my king? Have you counted the cost of this crime? Are you willing to let yourself do this thing? And harm this poor child another time? A kingdom of fear A king of his own Oh, come my dear He'll soon lose his throne. Fairy tales, fables A self appointed king Let us turn the tables On this unsuspecting thing. We can not say 'I am the victim, therefor I shall do not.' Just because we are but scared of what's to come Instead say, 'I am victor for what I have wrought!' And leave your jailer feeling immensely dumb. So, my dear child, so cold and so frail So lost in this world, full of flashing lights Take heed, take courage and remove the veil Do not fear what's to come, as you fear the nights. Pull back the curtain to reveal the trick Hide not your face, nor your fear Instead, with bravery, take the candlestick And shine a light on the lies, my dear. For a crime is thought up by one higher than thou But, pray tell, who appointed him this privilege? Who gave him the right to say what we allow? Who doth say his decision is not sacrilege? For why is one's word seen as better than thine? And, placing his judgement, what if we doth not agree? Why can't I say 'you're pardoned, freed!' with mine And his word be found as nothing, in respect to thee? For is it truly fair that they make decisions on what we can and cants' do? Why can't I step up and say, 'your word is but word, such as mine, such as thine.' And break down their dumb, ever changing rules? Why cants' I break through? I know this is society, the way that it's built, but who didst' make it's design? These words from mine mouth have been seen as heresy So hath I been cast from mine own gilded home Labeled unfit, unwell, no longer a clerisy For knowledge is but lies, if outside of their dome. Now, take heed my little one and listen close to my words Never go with the crowd just because it's preferred For they hath been like sheep for centuries, stupid herds Following blindly into pits, but you must fly like a bird. For you doth know I am a skeptic Reserved in my trust Pulling apart every brick And questioning the dust. So too should you question their every breath Watch them close, my dear, and never blink Always taking care, up until your very death For they will, in a second, push you off the brink. So, forgive me now, if I speak too plain But I've loved you for a thousand years And your life is not to be lived in vain So I shall protect you, through a thousand fears. And I know, 'tis true, they will damn you and your crime But please, my dear, do not fear, for I will take the blame And, standing in the gallows, I will remember every time You smiled my way and made me say, "Your praise I will proclaim." So do not fear, I'll hold you near, even if this one last time And I will kiss your cold skin, breathe in the frost Then, marching to the gallows for this crime I will, for you, pay this bloody cost. For on this day a skeptic has found love And on this day I will stand, taking the blame For all my pessimism leaves as I stare above Realizing I'll never be skeptical of thy name ...
  5. ItsSammy

    Faded Blue Jeans

    Faded Blue Jeans I met a boy wearing faded blue jeans Who everyone thought, lived with kings and queens But he spent his days living in his dreams 'Cause everything isn't always as it seems Looking in from the outside it seemed his life was grand Looking out from the inside he knew everything was out of hand 'Cause everything's not always as it seems and what we see is what we know But what we know is all we see, and what we see we can't always believe ... I met a boy wearing faded blue jeans Who should've been living with kings and queens But he spent his days living in his dreams 'Cause everything isn't always as it seems He wore a smile and glanced at the ground Always torn between being alone and being found 'Cause people scared him and the dark made him cry So he didn't know where to go, whether low or high Yes, I met a boy wearing faded blue jeans Who was born to dance with kings and queens But he had to live inside his dreams 'Cause everything wasn't as it should be ... So I taught him to dance and taught him to fight I took him by the hand each and every night Because his dreams turned to nightmares And his brain turned to death 'Cause when he tried to fight he'd lose his breath And when he tried to dance he'd stumble and fall But I never gave up, I was there through it all 'Cause yes I met a boy wearing faded blue jeans Who was destined to dance with kings and queens But he'd always lived inside his dreams 'Cause everything isn't always as it should be ... Now he's up there dancing with kings and queens And he's up there following all his dreams 'Cause now everything is as it should be Yet he still wears those faded blue jeans ... Oh, I met a boy wearing faded blue jeans Who I swore was destined to rule with kings and queens 'Cause his heart was pure and his heart was gold And now he's not just doing what he's told He's following his heart and following it true He's doing what he really should do ... Oh, I met a boy wearing faded blue jeans Who'd never seen the kings and queens Only ever lived in his dreams But now he knows what love means ... He used to cry every night He used to feel oh, such fright But now he knows I am here And I swear I'll never disappear 'Cause he's an angel sent to earth Didn't get what he deserved 'Cause life was cruel and life was wicked All these scars and bruises, afflicted ... I met a boy wearing faded blue jeans Use to cry in his teens Wasn't scared to dream his dreams But he didn't believe in kings and queens 'Cause he felt he wasn't good enough Felt so bad he shut himself up Wouldn't come out of that Hell 'Cause he felt it did him well To live in fear and live in pain To scream every night, all in vain So I took him to the side and told him that they'd lied When they said he wasn't good enough ... 'Cause I met a boy wearing faded blue jeans And he'd have died to know he was born of the queens 'Cause he felt so alone and he felt so afraid Didn't know, of what he was made So I held him close and held him dear I told him everything he needed to hear 'Cause he deserved everything that'd kill his fear He deserved Heaven, he deserved grace He deserved knowing his exact place 'Cause it wasn't at the bottom, lying on the floor It was on the top, sitting safe, forever more ... 'Cause I met a boy wearing faded blue jeans And I told him of the kings and queens Pulled him out of his dreams And showed him that life can be what it seems ... 'Cause I met a boy wearing faded blue jeans With his hands in the dirt and his hair in the breeze His face marked with mud and scrapes on his knees 'Cause he'd been pushed around like a stray with flees But I picked him up off the ground and asked him what was going down And he told me, so sweet and pure, that he just fell and landed here He wouldn't tell me who had done, such a thing to this little sun 'Cause his smile light up the whole night and his eyes shone so very bright Even though they were black, black as night on the old track Where the sun doesn't shine and the grass doesn't grow But the old cars are still there, so ... I met a boy wearing faded blue jeans Just like the cars and the metal machines Left in the dark, left in the cold No longer used, but still not sold 'Cause they used to carry such heavy loads But now they're alone and their life unfolds But unlike them he wore a smile and said "Will you stay with me for a while, instead?" 'Cause even though I was alone, with no family and no home This little one, with a smile like the sun, and a heart of gold, didn't scold He didn't look down on me for being so odd, didn't look down on me for being so off He didn't mind that I snapped at times, or called others 'trash' at times He really didn't seem to mind that I was harsh, rude and confinded He didn't even tell me off when I cursed and hissed and hurt and lost He sat there beside me, wearing those faded blue jeans His hands in his pockets and his head on my knees 'Cause he would sit there, lying still Making me hope he didn't catch a chill 'Cause he could sit for hours if it meant I'd calm down And he could sit for hours if it mean't I'd come around ... Oh, I met a boy wearing faded blue jeans Who told me I was better than kings and queens 'Cause I wasn't made up or fake I was real and there to take ... So he took my hand and held it tight Held it close through out the night 'Cause he said it helped him feel alright When his nightmares caused him fright And I swear to God I did all I could do 'Cause I loved him, through and through It didn't matter that he'd cry, didn't matter that he couldn't lie In fact those things made me love him more 'Cause he was the thing I was looking for He made me better, yet he was the best 'Cause I could pass every test But he was the one who taught me not to lie He was the one who taught me how to cry He was the one who showed me what love was And he was the one who mattered, 'cause ... I met a boy wearing faded blue jeans And I thought "He doesn't know what loves means." 'Cause he looked so sad and his heart shown through Worn on his sleeve and torn there too 'Cause you could see all the scars he bore If you looked close enough you could see even more 'Cause he could never fight back if he never tried But he didn't wanna fight, and he never lied 'Cause he wanted to be good, a good boy, he said But that's how good kids end up dead So I took him aside and tried to fix his head But he ended up fixing me instead 'Cause it turns out I was wrong And the boy with the faded blue jeans Was right all along ... **This is a poem/song I'm working on that fits with a few of my original characters I've been writing for a book**
  6. ItsSammy

    Do Not Mourn.

    Do not stand beside my grave, tears framing your eyes Those picture perfect blue diamonds that remind me of the skies Neither stand beside my grave, begging, pleading with cries But please, forget me not, forget me not, as away my life flies ... Do not turn away, returning to that dark place Neither stay here, yearning for another case But go on your way and forget the chase So you may find a smile upon your face. Forget me not, forget me not, but please don't hold too fast Forget me not, forget me not, but don't make your suffering last ... I may be gone, like your words in the air But your words were heard and heard with care So don't spend too long standing, crying there For I am here, listening close to your prayer. I once said I was not an angel, but I am on their side Since for your love and loyalty even the Heavens hath cried ... An angel, an angel, testament to my suicide An angel, an angel, in you I wish I could confide. For Heaven hath none better than you, I swear You were, are and will be my angel, however unaware For none in this world could ever truly compare No, not to my angel, my darling angel, now lost in despair. I wish I could go to you, tell you "I hate when you've cried, this had to be done and for you I have died. So wipe your tears and see I have tried, I'm sorry if you believed I never had lied ..." Go now, please, don't stand by my grave all alone I barely keep from crying knowing you're alone at my headstone ... I remember you standing there, vividly I see it, there you are at the curbstone Panic in your eyes as I jumped from the top, hurtling toward the unknown. Please, it kills me to know you're alone at home That home we shared, now so monochrome ... Your minds always a mess Constantly in distress Therapist progress But still trying to ignore the address ... I swear I didn't mean to hurt you as much as I've managed And I know, this can't be fixed with an apology or bandage For I've done too much and you're surely damaged ... But please, don't cry, don't waste away for me Deep down, in your heart, a spark of hope I see For you're a soldier, a warrior, meant to be free An angel, a doctor with so much more to be ... Don't give everything up just because of this endeavour Since this I really, truly, want you to remember forever You were the one who said I really could be that clever And doubt me? You? No, that you did never ... So, my dear angel, my saving grace Wipe those tears of your face And turn away from this place, For perhaps this isn't the final case ...
  7. ItsSammy

    Now I Have You.

    I've always been on my own, since I was a kid Not like the other kids, I just did what I did They never understood, I was kind of morbid Always calling me names so sometimes I just hid ... While I was growing up, I thought I'd get better in this new lane Spending time deducing other students, so maybe a friendship I could maintain But still they just hated me, no matter how hard I tried, time and again Calling me names, hating my skill, but I didn't need friends when I had cocaine. Sentimental stupidity was not something I needed And the warnings of drug abuse went unheeded Only now that you've come along has my mind conceded ... For I started out wondering what was wrong Why was I different? Why didn't I belong? But as I grew up, I became very headstrong No longer was I about to keep playing along. I became the man you see today Standing here in this fray Solving crimes like child's play Already solved four by 8 A.M. on Monday. But when what I never knew I needed showed up at my door You helped me, I helped you and all with just a little gore Saving each other, what's this feeling? I've never felt it before ... How come you just walked into my life and now you, I really truly adore? I always did it on my own, by myself I got through it Now you show up at my door and now I've got to review it 'Cause you think I'm a genius, now I'm going to prove it With you by my side you somehow improve it And now 'cause of you I'm even more ready to pursue it ... Used to try to figure out normalcies Tried to make friends, but they wanted enemies ... Now, instead of calling me "freak" like all the others do You get mesmerized call me "Brilliant" and "Fantastic" too ... It's odd having someone say such things, things I've never hear before you I'm getting quite fond, although I'll try not to be see through. For I was always alone, with my shadow, self made Everyone else was a copy, I was handmade Now I don't try to make friends, I face this world unafraid For I didn't try to find you, you just sort of ... stayed. You're so soft and caring Yet equally daring We make the perfect pairing And I don't mind sharing. Although you think I know everything, I still can't figure out How you're so perfect, everything about you is grand, no doubt You're fascinatingly brave and skillful, clever and devout I can't find a single thing of you I'd go and change about ... Now I'm not so lonely, not so lost in my own mind Now I know this is what I needed but couldn't ever find Now with you, my dearest friend, so pure and so kind I no longer need the drugs when our fingers are intertwined.
  8. ItsSammy

    For You.

    Sometimes life is a struggle, sometimes living is a war Sometimes you get hurt worse than you bargained for ... Sometimes soldiers get injured, sometimes doctors need healing Sometimes wits and wisdom bow to feeling. In a game of deduction, mystery and skill I found out, my angel could kill ... In a game of love, emotions and fear I found out what I truly held dear. I had lived so long with no recognition Until, came along, my little physician And so quickly we connected, fire in the ignition Now I never leave him behind for a single mission. Into Hell I would go and walk right through 'Til death do us part and even then too, For I'd give my life for yours, if it was all I could do And I would die, in order to stay with you ... But you, my dearest, most trusted friend, always take me by the hand You're always so grounded and smart, in a way that's completely unplanned You're always there to walk with me, never flinching nor starting from what's at hand And now, holding you close, I know I'll love you forever even with no wedding band. You know how to save me, both physical and mental You teach me so much, always so grounded and gentle Unlike the others, you're neither ignorant or judgemental No, you're fundamental in my life ... even sentimental. I know, I know, I say sentiment is a disadvantage in this existence But I've become so attached to you and I can't stand even the slightest distance ... And although often times you feel I'm brilliant and genius, I really do need your assistance For I've gotten so used to your smile, your laugh, your little inputs and persistence. For you've broken down my walls and taught me things I never knew Even though you say I'm the genius, I still often learn things from you For wit and deduction are not everything, you've given me something new You've taught me to love, to feel, to stop hiding it away ... so that's just what I'll do! To Hell and back, right through the flames and fire 'Til death do us part and even after my love shall rise higher And I would die for you, only an instant of thought it would require For living without you would be worse than hellfire ...
  9. SAO LILDOOP

    The truth (3 short poems)

    The truth, he is always nearby, nowhere can you hide from his all-seeing eye, whatever you do, he is there to see it, wherever you go, wherever you sit, he is always beside you, watching expressionless, he creeps up behind you and leaves you defenseless, for as much as you may want to keep him silent, he always has a way of revealing himself, and with killing intent he will strike down whatever was hidden, expose the facts of the matter, for you it will be a disaster but it is inevitable no matter how hard you try, there is nowhere to go, from his all-seeing eye... Truth angers many, he cares not for there feelings, they curse him and call him fake, but there lives he will take, he will crush, he will twist, there heart in his fist, till all there secrets spill out on the floor, exposed is there weakness, the life they knew is no more, for all has been splayed out for the masses, all eyes are on them, there life a pile of smoldering ashes, once looked at as a gem, now looked at as dirt... Truth is not selective, he is not bias, he simply sees what is there and lays it out bare what you think of him does not matter, he will come for you as for any other, beware of your lies, your secrets, your sins, for in the end, it will not matter how hard you tried to keep them hidden away, exposing them for him, is mere child's play, truth WILL find a way.
  10. ItsSammy

    Hug Me

    It's been so long it just feels wrong, that I can't remember the way it felt when you wrapped your arms around me and I leaned into thee for protection ... But now it's an infection. This untouchable memory, of you and me. I wake up at night, cold sweat from fright and I can't remember you. But that's not new. These feelings are killing me inside and I have nowhere to hide. I just want to remember how it felt to let you hold me. To let you save me from my insanity. To trust you in my calamity. To have you hold me when I was crying. To have you praise me when I was trying. But the funny thing is, you never did. Not even when I was a kid. And I should've seen it quicker, but your lies were thicker and I couldn't push past it to see the last of your lies. You hid behind that disguise and you never held me. So I wept because of thee. And now ... As I lie awake, everything is fake and I can't even remember what a hug feels like. Somebody please, listen to my pleas and pull me from this mess of emotions, give me thy devotions and hug me ... Just hug me. I wish I knew what it felt like to hug you, but I will never know since you didn't bother to teach me so. So I will try to dry my eyes, as I fall back into all your lies. They always catch me when I fall and I listen to them all. Even though they tear me apart and break my broken heart, as I wait for someone to just ... Hug me. I can't miss how it used to be, I can't remember how you loved me. I can't reminisce on memories of the past. Nor can I say I wish to go back to the last moment you held me in your arms. Or the last moment you taught me one of your charms to fight all my childish fears away, or keep me safe until the break of day. Why? Because I only cry, that's the memory I have of you and I. How I wished to die, but was always by your side even though I had to hide. For you didn't love me, you said everyone else was above me. You treated me like an animal for to you, my love was flammable. You'd pour gasoline on my heart, pull it apart, light a match, toss it in and I begged you to let it burn out but I could never win. For you kept me down, pushing me to the ground, making me beg you to help me push through. But I had to crawl to my knees and forgot my own pleas, for begging you wrought distain. You always turned and left me in pain. So I caught myself before the finale fall. You wouldn't do it, you wouldn't save me, so I did it myself and now you hate me. I can't look back on old memories with a grin, I can't remember a time I did win. I can't remember a single kind word, for your disgust is all I ever heard ... I haven't one good memory I can remember. Not a fire nor an ember. For my light was dashed out when you cast me down, and I can only remember your frown ... Your frown of disgust and revulsion, mixed with my inward compulsion, to do my best. I'd try to pass your test, even though I had neither the questions nor the answers. I was instead full of infections and cancers, clawing at my brain, driving me insane and that is all I can remember of my past ... For those are the memories that last. I can't look back on my childhood, without remembering that I was no good. I was no good for you. You said that was true. You acted like I were nothing but a peasant and I can't help but resent the memories that latch unto my brain, for I can't escape the pain. I can't escape these memories that haunt me and taunt me, for this is all I know ... Yet, I can't let go. Please, somebody, just hug me.
  11. SAO LILDOOP

    His last steps

    His last steps, they are quiet and sad, tears stream from his eyes, oh, what a poor lad, I wish I could say I dreaded this day, but sadly, that would be a lie I stare up into the sky, I feel relieved, the breeze strokes my face, I have already grieved, he is such a disgrace, I remember his smile, I remember his laugh, for he was my child and all that I had, now I look onward, water hits my hand, I look slowly upward, but how could this be? It was not raining, no, it was me I was crying for him, For that bastard I hated? But despite all he had done I suppose this was fated, for the love of a father for his only son is not something cheap, it fades not away no not even when he leaves my wife in a heap I love him still today, I cry and I cry, Oh, how can this be? After all the pain he has caused me! I am ashamed of myself, for this feeling of affection, I am ashamed of him, for he is an infection, I will always feel pain, when I look back on old pictures, for my son I have slain, and yes it is true, he was a sick evil bastard, oh what do I do? Is hell waiting for me? I don't want to think it, I will bow on one knee, and on the ground I will spit, over the grave of my son, who was once oh so sweet, now lying dead, right under my feet, I am ashamed of myself, I have failed as a father, failed as a husband, failed as a doctor, for my son came to me with his problems, and all I could say was, "It will be okay" I hate myself, cause' My wife is now dead, it is all my fault, I should have died in her stead, I will go to meet her, I swear it, I tie the rope, around my neck, and with all hope, step from the stool, I was such a fool, hopefully now I can die in peace, and go to meet my dear wife, I will look down from heaven, to hell where my son, is undoubtedly burning, I just know he is yearning, to escape from his torment, but if I were God, I'd say he doesn't deserve it, I remember his first steps, now I see his last, and all I can think of, is how time has passed, so much has changed, for the worse not the better, I feel I have become deranged, I will leave no letter, for my wife was my life, my son was my pride, Now all I remember is the knife, I watched it slide, right into my wife, her pregnant body falling limp to the floor, hatred for his sin filling me to the core, I watched as my son with a gleam in his eye, smiled as he watched my wife die, and now today, all I can say, is I must die, for there is nothing left here on earth for me anymore, no one to love me, and no love to give, from this life I will flee, I step from my stool, I wriggle and drool, my neck breaks abruptly and I hit the ground roughly, I awake up in heaven, light all around me, I see my wife, and I drop to one knee, I will love her again, we will be together for all eternity is what I think to myself but then quite suddenly I hear a booming voice say "GO TO HELL" I drop to my knees and in my dismay I cry out "Please!" then suddenly I feel a heat envelop my body, I look to my side and see my son wailing, with my body on fire I start flailing, but there is no escape, I will stay here and burn, until this soul dies, and I cease from existence. "And then I will profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity" -Matthew 7:23 (King James version)
  12. SAO LILDOOP

    Water under the bridge

    The sins of your past crying out to you even now, your appearance completely downcast, to your pain you bow, mercilessly it tears at your soul, you cry out tears unending, your life now a black-hole, emotions stay bottled up inside you, you deny affection from others, they have no clue, you must break these fetters! Do not let them hold you down, stand up and with a frown, break them from off your withering body, its time you get ready, ready for love, you must move forward, do not let your past drag you backward, you have regretted enough, you have tormented yourself so much, I think its time you realise, you are loved in her eyes, if you would just cast aside your self-hatred, you would clearly see, you are her one and only beloved, her love pours out to you like the sea, she cry's out to you silently, her soul yearns for you, yet you have no clue, forgive yourself, don't let your life rot away on the shelf, you are missing out on life, we all make mistakes , you are no worse than any of us, stop this inner strife, you deserve love, when you go to her and you tell her, she will quietly say "It is water under the bridge" do not fear life, put down the knife, embrace her and cry, you can do it if you try, and for once you will cry tears of joy, kiss her soft lips, taste of love and rise above like a magnificent dove, hold her tight and don't let go, she will forgive your slight, true love loves always, there are no days she will not love you, there is nothing you could do to fill her heart with hate, it is fate, embrace it, all that stands in your way, is you. For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; -Romans 3:23 (King James version)
  13. SAO LILDOOP

    Snow falls

    Snow falls, It falls as once did the angels of heaven, casting its glory to the imperfect world below, falling to earth to say hello Men look onward, paying no attention to the snow encircling them, they read not God's word, they acknowledge not the great "I AM" They are lead astray, easily lost in the blizzard, there lives decay, there cry's escaping there lips completely unheard The cold beats them down, mercy is not a virtue it is allowed, it covers all in its deathly cold shroud and freezes down to the bone Men are busy, running about the city, there job, there wealth, valued over there spiritual health Hell will come quickly for those who doubt its existence, there is little hope of escaping the consequence When death arrives they will not be ready, there life he deprives and carries them from this earth they will stand before there maker and having not known there creator, will be cast down into the flames, of hell's flaming embrace God's image man tried to deface, over the century's, the entire human race, tried to erase God from the mind of others but in the end, every knee will bend and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. Amen. Quick note: I made this poem for a poetry contest, only the first 3 stanza's were usable as per the rules of the contest, I hope you guys enjoy this full poem.
  14. ItsSammy

    The Devil.

    The devil tells tales that make us cry The devil tells tales we'd swear were a lie The devil tells tales we wish were true The devil tells tales to me and you ... 'Cause ... The devil is a liar, the devil is a prince The devil is a smile, the devil is a wince The devil is a capture, the devil is a slave The devil is a kingdom, the devil is a grave The devil is a lie, the devil is a truth The devil is death and the devil is youth, 'Cause the devil is one too many things The devil is the fear of all these kings The devil is a plan, the devil is a trap The devil is a land that has no map The devil is a grave with which we lie The devil is a king in his own eye 'Cause the devil was an angel 'til he met his fall The devil was a serpent when he lost it all The devil was a liar but he's no lie ... 'Cause the devil is just as real as you and I.
  15. ItsSammy

    Fairy tale

    If life were like a fairy tale with which we are so mesmerized Then wouldn't it be a drab tale of life, where no one ever dies? If life were like a fairy tale with it's "Happily ever after" always at the end Then wouldn't life be such a bore with nothing to fix, nor mend? If life were like a fairy tale where the mean are cast aside Then how I would I ever fair, on that side? If life were like a fairy tale where princess' come from bluffing Then wouldn't life just be worthless, since work attains nothing? If life were like a fairy tale, you may wish it were so But I would be lost in that world, with no where to go ... For if life were like a fairy tale I'd be so sick of the sweetness And if life were like a fairy tale I fear the poison would be my weakness. For if life were like a fairy tale I'd be an old witch But fairy tales are full of perfect princess's without a single stitch ... If life were like a fairy tale the world would be a bore, For nothing fun ever comes without a little gore.
  16. ItsSammy

    "I love you."

    Love is a word over used. Love is a word often abused. Love is a word quickly defused. Love is a word over excused. Love is a word often disused. Love is a word quickly confused. Love is a word over misused. Love is a word often refused. Love is a word quickly bruised. Love is a word over bemused. Love is a word often unproved. Love is a word quickly reproved. How am I supposed to show you how I feel? How am I supposed to make it seem real? How am I suppose to tell you in my own way? How am I supposed to tell you today? "I love you." is said often, it's not enough. "I love you." is used to lie, cheat and bluff. "I love you." is just a statement, said by all. "I love you." isn't enough to explain my fall. I fell for you so quickly, so carelessly. I fell for you suddenly, whole heartedly. I can't just say "I love you." when he's said it too. I can't just say "I love you." even thought it's true ... I need something better, something more. I need you to know you're the only one I adore. I need to come up with words never said before. I need to show you that your my Heaven's door. "I love you." just isn't enough to explain how I feel. "I love you." doesn't express how you make everything surreal. Yet he said "I love you." and you said it back. So now I can't just say "I love you." and hope it fits the track. I need to find words, unused by those around. I need to find words that will surely astound. I need to find something to express how I feel. I need to find something that makes it real. I want you to know that you're my everything. I want you to know that you're not just a play thing. I'll love you forever and ever, 'til death do us part. No, even then I'll love you from the depths of my heart! Even if you're dead and gone I'll never forget you. Even if your spirit's left I'll always stay true. So, you see, "I love you." just doesn't express it all. "I love you." doesn't show the emotions of this fall. For the day I fell for you, was the day I found my soul. The day I fell for you was the day I became whole. So, "I love you." just isn't enough to say. Oh, how I wish to find the words some day ...
  17. ItsSammy

    Mirror

    Show me my deepest desire, The colour of fire, Beautiful eyes of perfect green. Show me my queen. Show me standing with her, love in our eyes as we take on the world. Show me by her side, nothing to hide as I take her as my bride. Show us together, in love forever, and I don't lose her. No, never ... Show me her smile, her beautiful eyes. Show me her hair, the colour of a sunrise. Show me her laughing in a meadow of flowers. Show me us together, talking for hours. Show me the life I wish for in my head. But don't show me the way it truly was, instead. I want to see her once more, just one more time. My love for her, surely it can not be a crime. And yes, I know men have gone mad, looking in the mirror. But I can not take my gaze from where I see her clearer. I see my wishes, my hopes and my dreams in your shimmering reflection. But I see my pain, my regret and my sorrow in my minds introspection. For even though you mirror my face, you've made a correction. You stand me beside her in all her perfection. We look so happy together in this projection. But I know this is just a mere deflection, From what life is truly like, living with my rejection ... Now, looking back in retrospection, I should have given her more affection, I should have made a better connection, I should have been there for protection, But now my mind is just stuck with dissection ... Dissecting my every imperfection. Dissecting everything I could have, should have done without misdirection, But I'm just stuck without a hope for resurrection. Now, standing with my eyes locked on her face. I can never forget her beauty and grace. But this mirror is a curse, showing her in white, Walking down the isle, unlike that dark night ... This mirror shows my wishes, but it does not show the truth. It shows my deepest desire, to go back to my youth. To take your hand and kiss you, like no one ever would. To tell you "I love you." the way I never could. To see you in your wedding dress, so perfect and so fair. To say "I do." and marry you, right then and there. This mirror shows my only love, my only desire. To look at you one more time and touch your hair of fire ...
  18. ItsSammy

    Did You Love Me?

    Did you fall in love with me, or someone else? 'Cause when I look in a mirror, I can't see myself. I see what they see, an intricate tapestry. A fictional lie, lined up to die. Did you love me then? Could you love me again? If life were not as it is today, Would you want to stay? Is my act becoming real. Is this regret all I can feel? Is my memory fading or am I just lost? Is this really worth the cost? If I forget you I forget my own soul. For loving you is my one true goal. Did you fall in love with me, or some else? 'Cause when I look in a mirror, I can't see myself. I see this act, this mask, these words I use to lie. I see this blood, this game, these tears I cry. I do not see the boy who used to hold you hand. I do not see the boy you used to understand. I see a man broken by love, yet not willing to let it go. I see a man taking a stand even if no one understands so. I know no one can see it. I know no one would care. But I do believe it, And know you are there ... I do not resent you nor regret our meeting, For you are the reason my heart keeps beating. I will never let you down, in this lifetime or the next. I will protect your legacy with pretext, For no one can know what I am. Did you fall in love with me, or someone else? 'Cause when I look in the mirror, I can't see myself. I see the man you left with, the man you chose over me. Yet I will still protect your love and your legacy ...
  19. ItsSammy

    Imperfect

    You say, "I don't want to change you." Yet I need to be changed. You say "I don't want to re-arrange you." Yet I need to be arranged. You say "You're perfect as you are." But I'm falling all the same. You say "Love comes from the heart." But my heart isn't tame ... How can you look at me and tell me everything is fine? How can you look at me and be proud to call me, "Mine."? How can you smile when I'm frowning? How can you save me when I'm drowning? If you're just there to tell me I'm alright? You're supposed to pull me from the dark. You're supposed to light the spark. You're supposed to wake me up, not leave me to sleep. You're supposed to fix my heart not leave it to weep. You're supposed to tell me it's okay to cry. You're supposed to tell me you don't wanna see me die. Listen, I know, you think perfection is key. But perfection isn't me. I'm imperfect and broken. You're social and out-spoken. Yet you don't understand how to fix me ... Tell me I'm broken, beaten and bruised. Tell me I'm dark, demented and confused. Tell me I'm childish, naïve and used. Tell me I'm lost, stumbling and blind. Tell me I'm the only one of my kind. Tell me I'm lost in my own confined. Tell me I'm weak, tell me I'm scared. Tell me I'm trembling and impaired. Tell me I'm unrealistic, unknowing, unprepared. Tell me I'm mental, lost in the void. Tell me I'm crazy and nearly destroyed. Tell me I'm lazy, anxious and paranoid. Tell me I'm broken ... I need you to tell me everything I do wrong. I need you to tell me where I belong. I need you to tell me the truth of the matter. I need you to carve and mold me like alabaster. I need you to change me, re-arrange me. Deface me and trace me. Keep the things you love about me. But tell me to change the vile things you see. I can not go through life with sugar coated words fed into my brain. I can not go through life like that, it's driving me insane ... I'm cynical and cruel. Outlandishly a fool, At least when it comes to conversation. I'm unpredictable in every situation, Nobody every knows what to expect from my neglect, Neglecting the sugar coated words, Fed to your sheep-like herd, Just so they can revel in their own self worth. What a pity that's how we live on this earth ... So don't neglect my intellect, And don't confuse penance with dependence, For I do not depend on anyone but myself, alone. My head is my home, where all my thoughts I hone. Still, I sometimes wish for you to pull me from my mind, And, just once, tell me you can find, Something beautiful in my calculated lies ... Don't lie to me and tell me I am perfect, for perfection is a lie. Just as love turns to hate in the blink of an eye. Nothing is forever, yet nothing is for not. Everything we do, shall in the future rot. Yet, still it has a meaning, lost in this world. Sometime in the past or future, it will have unfurled. Whether or not it's painful, whether or not it's true, Everything that happens, is somehow connected to you. So don't go telling me I'm fine, just the way I am. For I know I am sinful, I am not the holy lamb. I am wicked, I am vile, I am cruel in all my ways. So if you can not find something, don't lie to me these days. I know I am nothing so just tell me the same. I know I am unlovable, so shower me with shame. Don't you dare lie to my face, While you disguise it as grace, I see past your soft voice, I see past your word choice, And I know you know I'm imperfect, So don't ask me to meet your verdict.
  20. ItsSammy

    Borderline

    I'm on the edge of a mental precipice, how much did I invest in this? Oh, just my sanity and my vanity, My respect and your neglect, The pain of a thousand years, and the rain of a thousand tears ... As I stare into the abyss I know I'll never miss the way I'm split, It's a mental fit. I fit into the frame, the frame of creation and destruction, Of sarcastic and deduction, Of genius and crazy, Of crystal clear and hazy. 'Cause I'm borderline perfect and I'm borderline broke, I'm borderline fire and I'm borderline smoke, I'm borderline master and I'm borderline slave, I'm borderline scared and I'm borderline brave, I'm borderline free and I'm borderline caged, I'm borderline calm and I'm borderline enraged, I'm borderline sane and I'm borderline mental, I'm borderline abusive and I'm borderline gentle. I'm stuck on the middle of a wire, Keeps getting higher, And I keep my balance as best I can, 'Cause I don't wanna lose the other half of this man ... The sides of me keep pulling, Which one is controlling? My mind's at war, but which side am I for? I can't decide so I try to hide, But you can't hide from your own mind, And you can't lose what you can't find. So I just wait and watch this war, wondering which side I'm rooting for, 'Cause ... I'm borderline magic and I'm borderline trick, I'm borderline straw and I'm borderline brick, I'm borderline hopeful and I'm borderline pessimistic, I'm borderline grounded and I'm borderline ballistic, I'm borderline flying and I'm borderline falling, I'm borderline silent and I'm borderline calling, I'm borderline dead and I'm borderline dying, I'm borderline done and I'm borderline trying. 'Cause I'm stuck in this rut, Punched in the gut, Gasping for air, Nobody's there, Clawing for words to say to take this pain away, But I'm stuck in the middle of it all ... When will I finally fall? I'm walking a tight rope miles above ground, I'm screaming my name but I'll never be found. 'Cause I'm borderline ready and I'm borderline readying, I'm borderline swaying and I'm borderline steadying, I'm borderline worrying and I'm borderline hoping, I'm borderline screaming and I'm borderline coping, I'm borderline breathing and I'm borderline choking, I'm borderline dry and I'm borderline soaking, I'm borderline swimming and I'm borderline burning, I'm borderline teaching and I'm borderline learning, I'm borderline cold and I'm borderline hot, I'm borderline new and I'm borderline rot, I'm borderline corpse and I'm borderline child, I'm borderline tame and I'm borderline wild, I'm borderline angel and I'm borderline devil, I'm borderline shifty and I'm borderline level, I'm borderline Heaven and I'm borderline Hell, I'm borderline sick and I'm borderline well, I'm borderline mischief and I'm borderline illusion, I'm borderline knowledge and I'm borderline confusion, And with each part of me fighting the other side, There's no where for me to hide, No one I can confide in, No one I can revive with, No one I can hope to find, Who will soothe my mind, And lead me to the end of this tight rope, Show me hope, And fix the war inside my head, That makes me wish I was dead, Yet I'm just borderline suicidal and borderline soldier, I'm just borderline terrified and borderline bolder, So I never fall from this tight rope, I just crawl through the night's hope, And hope someone will fix my demented mind game ... Make me fit just one frame.
  21. ItsSammy

    Always

    Always I remember when we were small So innocent and in love with it all You gave me a smile I gave you a friend You gave me a while But it soon came to an end ... I remember you, with your fire red hair I remember me, so in love with you there I remember him, so quick to take your hand And I remember you together, just as he planned ... I was left alone while you got a new home I had been your best friend But even friends, meet their end. You ran off with him for happily ever after I was just a thought you left in the pasture You were a queen who left me in the lost and found For I was a mere snake, all alone on the ground. Now all I have are memories of you And all I have are memories that grew, They grew into nightmares, grew into pain They grew into that dark night of rain ... That night I found you, all alone That night I found you, cast off your throne That night I cried bitter tears of pain That night I cried under the rain. Now, as memories are filling me with lonely thoughts and enemies I will become the martyr that you need ... So that your soul may be freed. Don't worry my dear Let you fear disappear I will protect you're legacy Intricately, Every detail clear to me So I can see How everything plays out, so don't you doubt. After all these years of pain and screams, After all these tears and late night dreams, after all these memories passing by, After all these days where I could die, After losing the one thing I wanted alive, After losing my hope when you took that dive, After realizing I'd never see you again, After losing you and gaining this pain, After seeing you for the last time, wrapped in my arms and lined to die, After holding you close and watching you pass, after realizing this was the final goodbye, I still love you ... Always.
  22. ItsSammy

    Words

    Open your mouth and what comes out, dear? Something no one even wanted to hear. Close your eyes and say your prayers. For you are falling, falling down the stairs. Look at your filthy mouth. Only spiders ever come out. Loosing webs upon your tongue. Soon your lungs will be undone. No one wanted to hear your stupid words, you fool. Why is it that your words are always so cruel? Shut up, oh just shut up. When will it ever be enough? Can't you just close your mouth? And keep those spider webs from coming out? Venom. Poison. Spilt on lace. Crying. Trying. Out of place. Close your eyes and bit your tongue. Everything is over done. You're so stupid you can't see ... How no one wants to hear from thee. Stupid girl, stupid girl, no one wants to hear your voice. Stupid girl, stupid girl, shut your mouth and make a choice. Choose to be silent. Choose this way. Choose to be non-violent with the words you say. Venom. Poison. Spilt on lace. Crying. Trying. Out of place. Hold your tongue and say your prayers. Your words are falling down the stairs. Hear them crash to the floor. They're not yours anymore. Control. Controlling. The words are pulling. But my tongue stays stuck. Oh, just my luck. Everything I want to say is stuck behind my teeth. But everything I wish to take back is already beneath. Beneath me. Beneath you. Beneath a lie. Beneath what's true. It's out there for you to hear. It's out there for me to fear. For I can't take it back now. You wish to forget somehow. But it's out there for you to hear. And it's out there for me to fear ... Venom. Poison. Spilt on lace. Crying. Trying. Out of place. I can't erase what I've said. Now it's in my head. Haunting me. Taunting me. This crimson venom I spat out. The killing poison found in my shout. Words ... How funny they can be. Words ... How much they haunt me. Words ... The poison in my head. Words ... Sometimes they make me wish I were dead. Words.
  23. ItsSammy

    The Other Half

    Half god and half devil, however do you split that? The war, the battle, however do you fix that? The fight, the cage, which one do I surrender? It's become impossible to decide and there is no one in which I can confide. Living in calamity, watching illusions envelope me, the feeling of falling into insanity where no one will ever catch me ... I fell right in front of you, and you just let me go, I asked you to embrace me and you just said no. Do you know how much it hurts to let go of the one thing that could ever save you? Do you know how much it hurts to be the one who could never embrace you? The pain in my heart, in my head, in my lungs ... The pain in my mind, in my dreams, on my tongue ... The pain of illusions, of lies, and deceit ... The pain of my youth, of my life, of mine own heart beat ... I begged you for a chance. For a chance to prove my worth. But instead you turned away and cast me to the earth. Every moment, every second, every memory ... The lies, the pain, the blood red rain that boils inside of me ... It's all for you, it's all for you! Can't you see, it was all for you? Every time you shut me out, every time you turned away, my heart still cried and yearned for you, every single day. Did you not see the tears I cried, nor hear my screams of pain? Did you not realize, I tried everything in vain? I did my best, I played the part, I worked to be enough But you still turned away. And every single day, I realized, with tears in my eyes ... That I could never be good enough. For no matter what I did, no matter how I tried, you still couldn't see past the fact, that everything about me was not as simplified ... as you. For I am half god half devil, half heir half enemy and you could never see past the other half of me. For even though I did my best, and passed the test, and did enough to earn your blessing, you just couldn't give it to me, could you? Now I see, no matter what I do, you will never love me. For I am half god and half devil, half prince and half beast, half love and half anger, and you can't love me ... For a monster such as I, could never change, not in thine eye ... For I am nothing but a monster that you keep locked away, and even though I wish to prove to you, every single day, that I can be better, I can be more ... You can never see past that other half of me, now can you?
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