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VampireKnight19

Argument with parents

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Hope you guys don't mind me posting this here, guess I just need to vent a little about what happened tonight if that's okay?

So I accidentally missed a payment on my credit card due to stress that my parents have caused, as soon as I got the later to say that it was overdue I went on the app and paid it straightaway.

When I got back from my course today my mam said the letter had fell off my desk and she saw what it said which is impossible as I had put it back in the envelope which means she lied to me and actually took it out of the envelope to read it.

They are have literally took my credit card off me, if I don't have enough money for food towards the end of the month I am not going to be able to feed me and my daughter. I hate living with parents. They think they have a right to rummage through my room every time I am out. I don't need this stress.

Sorry for the rant. It's just not right what they have done. I am a 29 year old single mum who sometimes relies on my credit card to get extra shopping in if need be.

Hope it was okay to post about this. Sorry if I annoy any of you.

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That’s terrible! Is there something you can do to “earn” the credit card back? Maybe show them a budget plan you have and promise to stick to it? Also explain that sometimes you need a bit extra money to get you from paycheck to paycheck?

If you are paying your card each month you should be building credit too! So good job keeping that card up to date 😊

Sorry you’re going through this - it’s only temporary, even if you feel like you’ll be there forever 

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1 minute ago, Seshi said:

That’s terrible! Is there something you can do to “earn” the credit card back? Maybe show them a budget plan you have and promise to stick to it? Also explain that sometimes you need a bit extra money to get you from paycheck to paycheck?

If you are paying your card each month you should be building credit too! So good job keeping that card up to date 😊

Sorry you’re going through this - it’s only temporary, even if you feel like you’ll be there forever 

They already know that I budget my money, the payment just totally slipped my mind this last month which never happens. Its not like I'm doing it all the time. Its only 5 pound a month to pay on my card. I've had it for 2 year and its really handy to have for food shopping, Christmas presents closer to the time and little treats for my daughter. I can't believe they have taken it from me when they know I need it :(

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Ah.. well if you can do without extra spending it’s always best to not have debt. It can get ahead of you if you’re not making substantial payments toward the balance. Maybe they know this from experience?

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I'm sorry you're going through this. I can't say I'm mature or knowledgeable to provide a reliable input, but you have my support. Like Seshi said, this time will pass, so you just need to make the best of it.

I wish the best for you and your daughter. 🙏

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1 minute ago, Kinbaryu said:

I'm sorry you're going through this. I can't say I'm mature or knowledgeable to provide a reliable input, but you have my support. Like Seshi said, this time will pass, so you just need to make the best of it.

I wish the best for you and your daughter. 🙏

Thank you for your support, means a lot :)

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Seems parents are either one way or another.  They are either in your face and business or hands off.  I was raised by a single mom who generally let us wander off and do our own thing, thankfully.  Of course, my situation has become different, I'm 29 and the primary care-giver.  You didn't ask for advice, but I will say unless their name is on the account, they really don't have the rights to the card.  You could call in the card as stolen or lost and have the issuer get you a new one.

It's a shame you're going through this.  I hope things get better for you soon.

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Posted (edited)

That sounds like a difficult situation, hopefully things get sorted for you and your daughter.

Edited by Banri

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9 hours ago, VampireKnight19 said:

Hope you guys don't mind me posting this here, guess I just need to vent a little about what happened tonight if that's okay?

So I accidentally missed a payment on my credit card due to stress that my parents have caused, as soon as I got the later to say that it was overdue I went on the app and paid it straightaway.

When I got back from my course today my mam said the letter had fell off my desk and she saw what it said which is impossible as I had put it back in the envelope which means she lied to me and actually took it out of the envelope to read it.

They are have literally took my credit card off me, if I don't have enough money for food towards the end of the month I am not going to be able to feed me and my daughter. I hate living with parents. They think they have a right to rummage through my room every time I am out. I don't need this stress.

Sorry for the rant. It's just not right what they have done. I am a 29 year old single mum who sometimes relies on my credit card to get extra shopping in if need be.

Hope it was okay to post about this. Sorry if I annoy any of you.

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yikes, sorry to hear that buddy

im still living with my dad (since my mom is abroad), but this never happens to me, at worst dad just borrows my money, and never returns them

he doesn't touch my things though (i tend to always leave my pc on, which leads to leaving either my social accounts open e.g FB, AF, etc)

(one more example is the useless things i order...those "keychain things" for my colleagues in the hospital, that i used to be an intern of, he never opened them once, and im sure he would be mad if he saw i was throwing money to make someone happy, and i sort of would understand it)

but generally, my papi doesn't care how i do things now a days, he sometimes tells me not to do a certain something, but its just his way of guiding me

hope you get to discuss with your mom about this, she might give the card back if you talk to her formally

also, its better to rant, than hold all those feelings up, atleast you get less dark thoughts when you let them out, rather than not

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Damn, that's rough. Realistically speaking yeah they have no right to touch that card if it is in your name. Rather,  they absolutely should not be touching it without your permission. It is kind of frowned upon to take credit cards that don't belong to you. They may be your parents but still, that doesn't give them any right to take your property. This is exactly why I ended up setting up my credit cards to autopay,  just in case I forget because it is very easy to when life is happening with more immediately pressing things than a small payment. Just a thought, you could do paperless statements in the future. Though I know not everyone is a fan of that. In any case, I hope things settle out for you soon and you get your card back, best of luck to you!

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This people already said it all. 

But if there is any way i can help, let me know, im not in position to give yoi advices like that, but i think you need to find a better job, or borrow money to buy small appartment for you and your daughter. 

I dont really know your skills, but i think u will get through this!

Im really sorry :(

But try to move out, please. 

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Thanks for all the support and advice guys. 

Every time I go out they go through my things. I've gone to stay at my cousins today so no doubt when I get back they will have done it again. 

I really need to move out. Someone has told me to get in touch with the police about what my parents are doing. I get so much mental abuse that i haven't told anyone about. I've had to go on anti depressants to get through it all and they always use my daughter as a weapon. One of the worst things they can do is use their granddaughter like thay because when I move out I won't be letting them near her 

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I’m so sorry @VampireKnight19 stay strong. 

That probably the worst thing I could think of someone doing to me, using my own daughter for their manipulative gain. I hate that for you.

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Posted (edited)
3 minutes ago, Seshi said:

I’m so sorry @VampireKnight19 stay strong. 

That probably the worst thing I could think of someone doing to me, using my own daughter for their manipulative gain. I hate that for you.

I will get through it. Its just horrible against both me and my daughter. Once I move out I won't want to see them again. They have betrayed me but they don't see that. They target me but never treat my younger brother like this :(

Edited by VampireKnight19

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*hugs* so sorry you’re going through this right now. You’re right, it won’t be forever 💕

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1 hour ago, Seshi said:

*hugs* so sorry you’re going through this right now. You’re right, it won’t be forever 💕

*hugs* just need to try and get away from them and live my life 

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Quite a complex situation.

I think what your parents did was wrong, but I don't think that they had any malicious intent. I can't see why they would wan't to wreck your life on purpose.

Reconciliation would be great, but that is easier said than done.

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28 minutes ago, Illusion of Terra said:

Quite a complex situation.

I think what your parents did was wrong, but I don't think that they had any malicious intent. I can't see why they would wan't to wreck your life on purpose.

Reconciliation would be great, but that is easier said than done.

They have been like this with me all my life. My brother gets away with anything. They always target me 

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I'm not entirely sure police would do anything. You live in their home. You give up some independent privileges with that.  I'm sure there is good intention there somewhere, but it just isn't helpful. The best evasion to being controlled is to be uncontrollable, but you have to be able to back that up...

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15 minutes ago, VampireKnight19 said:

They have been like this with me all my life. My brother gets away with anything. They always target me 

Yeah, I understand that. But do you think that they do all that because they want to wreck your life? Or do you think that they might do it for different reasons?

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It looks like everyone here has given you some helpful advice, but many seem to be too on optimistic side of things, such as formally talking, most likely one on one, if I am reading things properly.

Fact of the matter is that we just do not know the character of your parents well enough, but I have doubts if they are using your daughter to manipulate you or even have reason to believe that they are decent people, though Terra is doing about good job of making it important to think of reasons your parent may be doing this, supposing they are good people and are the kind of people parents should be.

My take on it is that you should probably get some professional advice, such as a family counselor or a therapist.

Only other option, like what you said you had plans to do is move out.

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Never bad to vent sometimes about life its a great stress reliever. I know the feeling though I lived with my parents on/off since I was 26. It can be very stressful especially in your late teens/ early 20s. From what I have read so far I'd say they are defiantly in the wrong here just taking your credit card like that. Its yours, and its a resource for you.

As a young parent yourself you may qualify for housing assistance in your county as well as food assistance too not to mention child supplies. It may be worth looking iinto to see if you can't get your own place for your daughter, and yourself. It will in the end be healthier for both you as well as her as well for many reasons. I myself am not a parent but I know that low income tends to get you a lot of help if you are willing to do the research.

Of course I can only go on whats here aka the information you provided, butt it also sounds as though your parents want you to move out, but rather than say it directly they feel obligated to allow you to stay. As a result of the stress they have on themselves they trend to lash out at you. My parents did this sort of thing a lot when I was living there up until a few years ago.

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41 minutes ago, ArchieKun said:

Never bad to vent sometimes about life its a great stress reliever. I know the feeling though I lived with my parents on/off since I was 26. It can be very stressful especially in your late teens/ early 20s. From what I have read so far I'd say they are defiantly in the wrong here just taking your credit card like that. Its yours, and its a resource for you.

As a young parent yourself you may qualify for housing assistance in your county as well as food assistance too not to mention child supplies. It may be worth looking iinto to see if you can't get your own place for your daughter, and yourself. It will in the end be healthier for both you as well as her as well for many reasons. I myself am not a parent but I know that low income tends to get you a lot of help if you are willing to do the research.

Of course I can only go on whats here aka the information you provided, butt it also sounds as though your parents want you to move out, but rather than say it directly they feel obligated to allow you to stay. As a result of the stress they have on themselves they trend to lash out at you. My parents did this sort of thing a lot when I was living there up until a few years ago.

I am going to try and get my own place, they are treating me like dirt and expect me to put up with it. 

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4 hours ago, VampireKnight19 said:

I am going to try and get my own place, they are treating me like dirt and expect me to put up with it. 

Thats to bad never good when parents take advantage of their children. It happens far more then most think as well.

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29 minutes ago, ArchieKun said:

Thats to bad never good when parents take advantage of their children. It happens far more then most think as well.

Yeah. They have taken advantage of me for too long. I've had enough. 

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