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Hello everybody, i'm only new to anime but i've been watching it for around two years, as of writing this, i've watched 700+ episodes. But nonetheless,

 

im 16 years old, i'm very anti-social and shy. I'm pretty much playing games on my computer and watching anime, decent grades.

I also get really emotionally connected, like for example.. Darling in the FRANXX. When i watched it for the first time, i was crying pretty much the whole time throughout, especially at the end/when i finished it i was depressed for a 2-3 months, in the past i've had depression and was all suicidal, but after watching it i felt back to how i was then. I couldn't handle myself in school, everything i see reminded me of them (Zero Two and Hiro) and Darling in the FRANXX in its entirety. Drawing her to keep my mind off of it. I had to take a break from anime after fucking with my head. I couldn't  finish Re:zero because of it already mentally fucking with me. I've always wanted to have a anime 'relationship'  Why did i share this? I want to find someone to help me and talk to me and let me open up and help me through it. I prefer having that person being a girl, sounds dumb but it doesn't matter anyone is fine. I really just want to connect with someone that's been in my situation.

 

extra information about me: My name is Kameron. Never been in a relationship. Prefer to talk on discord. if you have it add me. ZeroTwo#0002.  

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Hello there and welcome. I had a similar experience to yours (though not as extreme) when I watched Neon Genesis Evangelion (I really don't recommend this show if you're having a tough time with your mental health. It is possibly the most traumatic thing I have or will ever watch and it's not something to watch in the wrong state of mind). It was actually the show that got me into the anime and it sent me into a serious existential crisis and depression for about a month. I almost failed my work experience module at university because of it and it seriously changed my outlook on life. Mine was more a sudden realisation of nihilism - which wasn't nice, and would've been quite disturbing if I didn't find these sorts of things fascinating. Nevertheless, I did eventually get through it. 

It sounds to me like your depression is connected to an immediate loneliness, mainly from the fact you say that getting attached to characters and wanting an "anime relationship" are primary contributing factors. Believe me, I understand this all too well. It was something I experienced a lot when I was your age (I'm nearly 22 now) as a below-average looking, socially anxious teenager. I remember always wanting to have a relationship similar to characters from my favorite shows, anime or otherwise. It caused me to take actions in pursuit of that goal which were totally unrealistic. This is stating the obvious somewhat, bjt imagine if Tsundere's, for example, really existed - it would go very differently to how it does in anime.  I'd like to say that it's easy to break out of, but it isn't. All I can say is what helps/helped me - focusing on that which I had in the present, not placing too much importance on the perceived NEED of a relationship (especially one similar to that shown in anime), but also a general acceptance of myself for who I am. 

Hope this may help you a little bit. If you want to discuss further please send me a PM. My name is Michael :)

Edited by RZ.
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22 minutes ago, RZ. said:

Hello there and welcome. I had a similar experience to yours (though not as extreme) when I watched Neon Genesis Evangelion (I really don't recommend this show if you're having a tough time with your mental health. It is possibly the most traumatic thing I have or will ever watch and it's not something to watch in the wrong state of mind). It was actually the show that got me into the anime and it sent me into a serious existential crisis and depression for about a month. I almost failed my work experience module at university because of it and it seriously changed my outlook on life. Mine was more a sudden realisation of nihilism - which wasn't nice, and would've been quite disturbing if I didn't find these sorts of things fascinating. Nevertheless, I did eventually get through it. 

It sounds to me like your depression is connected to an immediate loneliness, mainly from the fact you say that getting attached to characters and wanting an "anime relationship" are primary contributing factors. Believe me, I understand this all too well. It was something I experienced a lot when I was your age (I'm nearly 22 now) as a below-average looking, socially anxious teenager. I remember always wanting to have a relationship similar to characters from my favorite shows, anime or otherwise. It caused me to take actions in pursuit of that goal which were totally unrealistic. This is stating the obvious somewhat, bjt imagine if Tsundere's, for example, really existed - it would go very differently to how it does in anime.  I'd like to say that it's easy to break out of, but it isn't. All I can say is what helps/helped me - focusing on that which I had in the present, not placing too much importance on the perceived NEED of a relationship (especially one similar to that shown in anime), but also a general acceptance of myself for who I am. 

Hope this may help you a little bit. If you want to discuss further please send me a PM. My name is Michael :)

It won't let me PM. "You're only allowed 0 messages a day" something along those lines.

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Hi there! We need some younger members around here, so stick around 😂 

Can't say I had any such experience when it comes to anime, but generally, and this is just my own opinion, I think it might be more helpful to talk to someone in person (if there are any available) rather than on the internet when it comes to serious things like these. But I think this depends from person to person. Anyway, hope someone here fits the description for discord dms!

Edited by Illusion of Terra
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1 hour ago, Illusion of Terra said:

Hi there! We need some younger members around here, so stick around 😂 

Can't say I had any such experience when it comes to anime, but generally, and this is just my own opinion, I think it might be more helpful to talk to someone in person (if there are any available) rather than on the internet when it comes to serious things like these. But I think this depends from person to person. Anyway, hope someone here fits the description for discord dms!

Thank you for your response. Being a young teenager has its perks of, social anxiety, stress all of that fun stuff. If someone comes to my house that i don't know, instead of going upstairs/downstairs for food when i get hungry I'd rather be hungry than to talk to people and have a conversation. 

With that being said, I've tried a therapy type thing. And i absolutely hated it. I try to avoid talking to my friends about it because they'll probably make fun of me somehow or tease me about it, which that'll get to me very easily. Only one friend I might talk to but i try not to. I feel more safe talking to people online as it's easier to ignore them if something does arise, and i feel more comfortable with it, unsure why i do but i just do. Also you made it seem like it's a forum that you have to fill out, just send me a friend request. There is no requirement.

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@installed I get that. Different people have different approaches and ways to deal with stuff. Not knowing your whole background, I might have been too 'brisk' in my statements. 
I think I expressed myself poorly 😂 no hard feelings!
The making it sound like a form thing is mostly because I am terrible at writing things in a casual way (in my defense, I'm not a native speaker 😂 ), so a lot of stuff I say sounds like it is from some college paper.

 

Edited by Illusion of Terra
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3 hours ago, Illusion of Terra said:

@installed I get that. Different people have different approaches and ways to deal with stuff. Not knowing your whole background, I might have been too 'brisk' in my statements. 
I think I expressed myself poorly 😂 no hard feelings!
The making it sound like a form thing is mostly because I am terrible at writing things in a casual way (in my defense, I'm not a native speaker 😂 ), so a lot of stuff I say sounds like it is from some college paper.

 

It's fine lol. I was joking about that. I didn't really what you made it seem.

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