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I NEED HELP! Looking for certain types of people!


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I'm in kind of a jam here, and I could use your help.

Ya see, I've been desperately looking for certain kinds of people for years, but it's not as easy as typing personality traits into Google.

Quite frankly, I'm frustrated and impatient. There's billions of people on this planet, and the chances I encounter the type of person I'm looking for are virtually zero. I haven't given up, it's just stressful because of how badly I want to meet them.

So who am I looking for? I guess, someone like me in some ways. Someone that was inspired by anime in a way that helped shape the person they turned out to be. Personally, I heard the phrase "be the change you want to see in the world" and I decided that I wish more people were like the characters we idolize in anime and other mediums. I want to be entertaining to be around, inspiring to others, motivational to myself, all the things I admire in the characters anime has brought us.

But more recently I've wanted to find another kind of person. I understand how juvenile and "cringe" all of this is, but just hear me out.

This was the year I discovered "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya". I didn't have any expectations going in, I had no clue what the show was even about. But something quickly grabbed my attention as soon as the first episode was underway. Something connected with me in a surprisingly deep way.

And that something, was Haruhi Suzumiya, and her quest to make the world more exciting.

I'm not some teen going through a phase, well not anymore at least. I know anime characters aren't real, and I know that people that act like anime characters are just embarrassing. But I also know that being bored with the world and wishing for excitement, wishing for extraordinary things to exist, is real. They're real desires that everyone has to some extent. And I know that somewhere on this planet, there's someone like Haruhi that wishes for a world of excitement the same way she does, and is actively looking for extraordinary things.

Now, even more than finding someone like me, I want to find a girl like her. Maybe not as crazy or manipulative of course, but someone that isn't interested in "normal", and looks, hopes for incredible things everyday.

Please, if you've ever met anyone like that, could you help me find them? I would appreciate any help I can get, it's just a task too big for 1 person to handle.

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Good luck wit that.  :)

Seriously, if I found anyone like that I'd keep her for myself.  (Though I would agree on the "Maybe not as crazy or manipulative.." bit as well.)  I've been on a somewhat similar quest for quite a long time now.  She either doesn't exist or is already taken.  At this point I'd consider anyone who just satisfies the criteria of always voting in elections but hasn't voted "D" or "R" for the past several cycles.  Someone who would seriously consider a ticket to Mars on one of SpaceX's Starships if/when they ever get those going would also be a plus.  I know, dream on right?  Still, there's got to be at least 2 or 3 of them out there somewhere.  Probably not going to find them on places like facebook, twitter, tinder, or in a google search though.  :D

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5 minutes ago, efaardvark said:

Good luck wit that.  :)

Seriously, if I found anyone like that I'd keep her for myself.  (Though I would agree on the "Maybe not as crazy or manipulative.." bit as well.)  I've been on a somewhat similar quest for quite a long time now.  She either doesn't exist or is already taken.  At this point I'd consider anyone who just satisfies the criteria of always voting in elections but hasn't voted "D" or "R" for the past several cycles.  Someone who would seriously consider a ticket to Mars on one of SpaceX's Starships if/when they ever get those going would also be a plus.  I know, dream on right?  Still, there's got to be at least 2 or 3 of them out there somewhere.  Probably not going to find them on places like facebook, twitter, tinder, or in a google search though.  :D

You know it's funny. The internet was primarily made to bring people together, but if you know the exact kind of personality of a person you'd like to meet, there just aren't many options! Dating sites are next to useless, and mainstream sites are more focused on entertainment. We need a site dedicated to connecting TYPES of people, a search engine for personality traits.

Good luck on your search too my man, I know it's rough and a lot of times it feels hopeless. Just don't be afraid to ask for help, it really isn't something you can do alone unless your luck is just incredible. Too many people on Earth to just run into a person like that by chance.

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I'm curious what your definition of normal is if you think anything in the last 200 or so years is "normal."  Normal is limited to that of someone or something stuck in a state of idle-existence.  I can't say that anyone could honestly say they fit into that.  I don't think what you're trying to describe as an individual is that "out there" - people just generally have a more down-to-Earth checksum than people that are portrayed in anime.

Half the fun is in the search anyway...

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2 hours ago, The History Kid said:

I'm curious what your definition of normal is if you think anything in the last 200 or so years is "normal."  Normal is limited to that of someone or something stuck in a state of idle-existence.  I can't say that anyone could honestly say they fit into that.  I don't think what you're trying to describe as an individual is that "out there" - people just generally have a more down-to-Earth checksum than people that are portrayed in anime.

Half the fun is in the search anyway...

If you ask me normal is all over the place. If you go ask the average person what they do everyday, you know almost exactly what they did.

If they have a job, they woke up early in the morning, did their morning routine, spent the better part of 8 hours working, maybe did overtime, had a lunch break in there, came home, had dinner, either played around on their phone or watched something on Netflix, then went to bed.

If they DON'T have a job, you can replace the 8 hours of work with more playing on the phone, consuming media, just passing the time, maybe talk with a friend, maybe even hangout with a friend, have dinner, consume more media, then go to sleep.

If there's any variation, it's rarely extraordinary. Personally I've wasted away probably hundreds of days just killing time, and every single time it frustrates me.

I think what we all have in common is that we want to live a more exciting life. We wanna find something that no one has ever seen, do something people never do, make something brand new, have new experiences. But most of us just don't do it. It's hard, we can't imagine the things we want to do, and if we can, we think they're too much work and too much trouble.

Most of us fall short, but not all of us.

I want to meet one of them, someone like Haruhi that knows how to win the war against boredom.

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Anyone bored these days just doesn't understand the unique qualities of the era in which we currently live.  Even just technology-wise my inner 12-yo (who grew up before the Internet, or even home computers) is continually amazed at stuff that's available today.  Even though I have spent virtually my entire professional career keeping up with the changes and generally know exactly how they work, there's still a part of me that thinks things like smartphones, gigabit wifi, and flat-panel, full color, UHD LED displays are some kind of magic.  Then combine that with similar advances in other fields such as medicine and agriculture and aerospace.  Then roll in the social changes produced by ubiquitous availability of said technology.  MMO games with ray-traced graphics operating at hundreds of FPS.  Self driving production cars.  Reusable commercial rockets putting up dozens of satellites per launch.  Heck, even just simple antibiotics.  Anyone who is jaded by all that is taking way too much for granted.

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49 minutes ago, efaardvark said:

Anyone bored these days just doesn't understand the unique qualities of the era in which we currently live.  Even just technology-wise my inner 12-yo (who grew up before the Internet, or even home computers) is continually amazed at stuff that's available today.  Even though I have spent virtually my entire professional career keeping up with the changes and generally know exactly how they work, there's still a part of me that thinks things like smartphones, gigabit wifi, and flat-panel, full color, UHD LED displays are some kind of magic.  Then combine that with similar advances in other fields such as medicine and agriculture and aerospace.  Then roll in the social changes produced by ubiquitous availability of said technology.  MMO games with ray-traced graphics operating at hundreds of FPS.  Self driving production cars.  Reusable commercial rockets putting up dozens of satellites per launch.  Heck, even just simple antibiotics.  Anyone who is jaded by all that is taking way too much for granted.

It's impressive yeah, but no one spends every minute of the day constantly in awe of technology and advancements. Technology helps us in all kinds of ways, but it isn't the end all be all of an exciting life. I could experience a new technical advancement every single day, but that's only skin deep. There's no deep satisfaction from that, it's not enough. Now there are technology-based experiences that are absolutely incredible and exciting and profound, but you'll never make a life out of the few times you get to do those things. Hell even if I got to try some brand-new realistic VR experience tomorrow and it blew me away, I'd be used to it in a couple months if I did it regularly, and it becomes normal again. That's just people, we see a new thing, loose our minds in the same way every single time, and then we get used to it and it isn't special anymore. Unfortunately, we're great at adapting.

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@Zila

Damn, I'm exhausted just reading about what you've done! I mean it's far better than sitting on your ass for sure, but like you said there were probably plenty of days where you wouldn't have minded just staying home instead. But overall I'm glad you were able to go out and have those experiences, even if it was a bit overwhelming at a point. I know most people would put those adventures off until after some mid-life crisis... but then again it sounds like you might've had yours before you turned 20.

At the same time, when you used the word "routine" at the start, I do get the impression that aside from say, the country-hopping escapades, even the interesting stuff you found yourself doing felt routine after you did it enough. It's weird, even the most exciting stuff just becomes normal if you're given enough time to get used to it. I know it's inevitable regardless of what you do, but that's why I think the fight is more important than the results. It's that fighting spirit that I'm interested in most of all. And if as a society we were all more focused on finding better ways to spend our time, I really wonder just how extraordinary of a world we could make!

Thank you very much for sharing your story! Here's to less "hate" in that love/hate relationship going forward 👍

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15 hours ago, AlwaysSearching said:

If you ask me normal is all over the place. If you go ask the average person what they do everyday, you know almost exactly what they did.

I guess I don't live in the same Midwest world you live in, but I sure don't know "exactly what they did."

If they have a job, they woke up early in the morning, did their morning routine, spent the better part of 8 hours working, maybe did overtime, had a lunch break in there, came home, had dinner, either played around on their phone or watched something on Netflix, then went to bed.

Depends what their job is.  Depends what hobbies they have.  Depends what their free time entails.  That's a blanket statement and is extremely inaccurate.

If there's any variation, it's rarely extraordinary. Personally I've wasted away probably hundreds of days just killing time, and every single time it frustrates me.

See my first comment, that's simply not true.

I think what we all have in common is that we want to live a more exciting life. We wanna find something that no one has ever seen, do something people never do, make something brand new, have new experiences. But most of us just don't do it. It's hard, we can't imagine the things we want to do, and if we can, we think they're too much work and too much trouble.

I have no wants in "something more" in my life.  I won't lie and pretend I've never felt that, but those feelings were generally fleeting and entirely based on conditions and situations that I put myself in and I chose to pull myself out of.  

I want to meet one of them, someone like Haruhi that knows how to win the war against boredom.

If you're bored in life you aren't looking hard enough.  Especially considering the current environment of the world, the current capabilities we have, the things that we're enabled to do.  You're a Midwesterner like me, that means you're in the U.S.  You have plenty of chances and opportunities to go wherever you want, whenever you want, see just about anything you want to see, do anything you want to do with very little limitations and restrictions.  You're living in one of the most active historic periods in the last 75 years, the most technologically advanced, and one of the most healthful periods. 

I understand if your idea of normal is different, but to simply lambast and assume that everyone is as disenfranchised with the world is simply incorrect and not true.  Abnormality, uniqueness, incredible things are everywhere around you - all the time.  Boredom is the construct of an individual - not of the world.

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7 hours ago, Zila said:

I've met a lot of likeminded people from the journey. If people see me as entertaining I would really like to point out all the pros and cons and how one is virtually impossible without the other. When someone tells me: "wow, that sounds like so much fun". I like to remind them that I had a bug in my ear for two days. Buzzing around and biting for nearly an hour before it died in there. I would trade that moment in for a cup of coffee on the sofa, any day. Yet, seeking adventure is always like this. It's a love/hate relationship.

I know how that works.  I've managed (so far) to avoid things like bugs in the ear but I've worked on several projects over the years where the peaks and troughs were pretty extreme.  Often a whole team will work for over a decade on a project and success or failure comes down to a few minutes where things are completely out of their hands and all they can do is hope everything goes according to plan.  (Usually with millions of people watching the show.  No pressure!)  But like our former boss liked to quote, "dare mighty things".  Sometimes you win, sometimes you don't.

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@The History Kid

I didn't come here to have an argument man, they're literally just differences in opinion. It just comes down to personal experience. I've riden rollercoasters, raced in go kart leagues, explored abandoned buildings, traveled across the country, experienced incredible modern technologies like VR, gotten lost on long walks through neighborhood tree lines, walked through underground waterways, gone on massive bike rides out of the county I live in, been to all kinds of major sporting events, spent whole days wandering around new cities playing Pokémon Go, joined after school clubs that put me in new and exciting situations, I've done a LOT of the exciting things in this world that interest me. But those aren't things I've been able to do everyday or every week or whatever.

I think personally the main issue is that I feel like through the internet, I've learned so much about the world that there isn't much mystery anymore. I know about that wet desert that's so flat that it looks like a mirror of the sky, I know about that crazy Winchester house with hundreds of rooms, I know about the cave that's so tall it has its own clouds. There's so much currated media content that I'm rarely surprised by anything anymore, because I've learned so much about the world and people that I can rationalize the crazy new info I'm hearing before it has time to blow me away.

I'm interested in things that I wish existed, things that I know don't or can't exist, because if they DID exist, it would actually shake up my entire world view! That's the core drive behind wanting a more "exciting" world, I want to be surprised, I want to see that there's a whole other layer of the world we don't know about, I want to be wrong, but amazed at the same time.

Don't we all wish there was more to the world than what we thought we knew?

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4 hours ago, AlwaysSearching said:

Don't we all wish there was more to the world than what we thought we knew?

As recently as the end of the 19th century there were a lot of people who thought that all the important laws of physics had been discovered and that therefore research in the future would mostly be concerned with clearing up minor problems and with improvements of method and measurement.  People thought we'd discovered everything there was to know.  Call it a failure of imagination.  We didn't even know about radioactive decay at that point.  Then around the turn of the century people realized that certain things can't be explained by classical physics.  Things like the orbit of Mercury, and the photoelectric effect.  Some of those "minor problems" apparently weren't so minor after all.  Lasers, superconductivity, semiconductors, and nuclear bombs have all been discovered or invented since then.

We know even more now but anyone who thinks we know everything is a fool.  Of course there's more to the universe than we know.  We don't even know what over 95% of the universe is made of!  There's plenty of new stuff to discover.  I'm sure that at least some of it will be amazing.

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@efaardvark

That stuff gives me hope, really. Like I said, I don't WANT to already know how our world works because honestly it's rather mundane most of the time. I hope we're wrong about everything, but these days the fundamentals we have actually stand up to logical tests, so the chances we're wrong are slimmer than ever.

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I can't really help you with the whole finding Haruhi Suzumiya thing. I can offer some thoughts on something else that seems to be more at the root of what you are looking for.

To me it seems that you seem to think that normality and boredom are necessarily related, which I don't think is the case.

Concerning normality, of course normality exists. I cannot understand how people can claim it doesn't. Being normal simply means that something conforms to a norm, as the term already suggests. What form that norm takes depends on what question you ask or what claim you make. One obvious example that normality exists is clothing. Glove manufacturers don't sit around not knowing how many fingers their gloves should have. It's five. People normally have five fingers per hand. There are people with more or less than five fingers, but that doesn't matter for what is normal. That something is normally the case does not mean it is always or necessarily the case.
When it comes to lifestyles, which you seem to be getting at, then of course normality exists. If the number of entities in a distribution is large enough it tends to become a normal distribution. The question here is how abstract or generic your claim is. I can say that everyone on this forum will have a normal life if by that I mean that they were born, live and then will die. Maybe there were some miracle individuals who did not have that kind of life, but again, it doesn't matter because the claim is about what is normally the case not always or necessarily the case.
If you take less abstracted or less generic claims, even then normality exists in lifestyles. Like you have said, normally people wake up in the morning, normally people drive to work, normally that drive will fall somewhere between ten minutes and two hours, normally they go home after work and so on. Again, this does not mean that this is always or necessarily the case, but to say it is not normal is simply empirically false, and can be refuted quite easily. Claims about normality cannot be too specific, since then you would not have a distribution that can be normal. If your drive to work takes between ten minutes and two hours you are probably normal in that sense. Not all or most people might take exactly 43 minutes to drive to work like you do, but that doesn't matter, because 43 minutes is still in the margin of normality in that distribution.

However, just because things or your life is normal in many ways, does not mean it has to be boring. Study on boredom has actually increased significantly in the last few decades, both in psychology as well as in philosophy, so there is a lot of literature there. According to studies in indigenous populations being bored seems to be an innate human experience, not just some modern millennial phenomenon as some might suggest. As with many things, boredom normally will be a function of both your own personality as well as the world around you, which can be shown empirically quite well.
More concretely in your case, it seems that you seem to think that knowing about something or having experienced something makes it boring, which I disagree with a lot. The more you know, the more you will realize how much you actually don't know. Like @efaardvark has pointed out quite well, people sometimes simply have a false view of things. I think many people who have not done a lot of fundamental science or philosophy tend to think that we have figured out most things. If you look at something we think is well known, you will see that things are a lot more vague than they seemed. If you disagree, try and think of a single thing, whether that is something empirical or conceptual, about those fundamentals you have mentioned and see how much you actually know about it.
Additionally much of what you describe seems to go after some 'sensational' way to get excitement, meaning something that you experience through your senses. Like others have said, concerning sensational excitement, the world today has more to offer than at any previous point (again to show that boredom is partly a function of the world around you). This reminds me of people who were not able to hear and then hear for the first time which is really exciting for them. After a while they get used to it and it is not exciting anymore. But I think that is just because people don't pay enough attention. I assume that is one of the reasons why so many practices from eastern religions are being misappropriated nowadays to improve western lifestyles. I think there is a lot you can do concerning yourself if you find yourself being bored all the time. This means that another person can certainly help there but it will have to do with yourself as well. Whether you find something to be exciting or a mystery will also depend on your own mindset.

Edited by Illusion of Terra
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@Illusion of Terra

I appreciate that you'd take that much time to reply to my admittedly odd post, honestly this kinda went in a way I wasn't intending.

I don't think all normal things are boring, God I'd never have a fun day in my life if I actually believed that. I just think things that AREN'T normal are typically more worthwhile. And looking at things in a very general sense does inherently produce a more normal or boring world view. It's just that these days I no longer seem to find incredible things when I take a closer look. As a teenager it felt like I was being amazed by something almost everyday, but here at 22 it's an incredibly fleeting sensation. Whether it's me or whether it's the result of a decade of increasingly personalized media consumption, it's hard to say for 100% sure. Of course I still get taken by surprise and learn new things, but it's never intense enough to really leave much impact.

To be perfectly frank, watching "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya" a month or so ago was the last time I had that feeling, because it was the first time I had found a character of any kind that I had found such an immediate deep connection with. It was a moment where doubts that had piled up in my head like "Is it weird that I'm so hopeful for impossibly fictional things to exist?" and "Am I strange for wandering around in strange places just hoping for some unexpected amazing thing to happen?", just melted away.

Honestly, there are two things I want more than anything:

1) I want to live in a world with a different "normal". A world where maybe people have different abilities, or society as a whole is more focused on personal happiness and fullfillment, one where we're all comfortable opening up and sharing our true selves. It feels like most of the time the world I live in is focused on shallow materialistic time-killing, and vague desires from people around me to make a better tomorrow, while simply going through the motions.

2) Regardless of what world I live in, I want to have someone in my life that wants to be by my side, even when all we're doing is wandering around waiting for something impossible to happen. There aren't people in my life that want to do what I do, but I know that there have to be other people that care as much about the things I care about as me, there's no way I'm THAT special. And if I can find that person, we'll both finally have someone we can truly relate to.

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On 7/4/2020 at 4:06 PM, AlwaysSearching said:

@The History KidI didn't come here to have an argument man, they're literally just differences in opinion.

Not an argument.  I'm simply commenting on what you're saying.  If you didn't want me to comment on that you could have said that you didn't want feedback on the matter.  At any rate, since you don't want to talk on that aspect anymore, I'll respectfully bow out.

Don't we all wish there was more to the world than what we thought we knew?

That's exactly my point though - there is.

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2 hours ago, The History Kid said:

Not an argument.  I'm simply commenting on what you're saying.

Bruh you quoted an instance of a subjective viewpoint and called it "not true", then blamed me for being bored because I wasn't "looking hard enough".

I don't think you intended to argue, but that's exactly what arguments look like. No ill will though, we clearly just don't see eye to eye, that's fine.

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