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hello everyone,

my name is kameron and i’m 16. recently i’ve been looking where i’d be at in the future and it brung me to a reality of i’m going to go nowhere. i just feel like not being here anymore recently, i have the world’s greatest parents that always offer their support. i don’t like opening up to anyone i prefer texting over chat as it’s easier for me. i don’t care about myself, or try to fix myself, ihave no drive to do anything, i get up and go to my desk and be there all day, i rarely ever go out of my room. i don’t have the greatest hygiene either, my teeth are bad and don’t brush them all that often, same thing with showering. i take adderall for my adhd to help me focus “in class” even though it’s at home, i just don’t do it. people say i’m smart, i sometimes do, but with certain things, i never applied myself to school. coming off of it makes me feel like even more crap. making me even more depressed. i don’t eat all.. my mom came in and talked about school so i do work. i don’t eat healthy food, bad grades from not doing work. i really only drink soda for the most part. but when i take adderall i lose my appetite to eat as well as drink. i like taking the pill because i want to get skinnier/slimmer but it’s only hurting me even more. in 2018 first year of highschool i was depressed and went to self harm and i think about that sometimes but i don’t do it. i probably would’ve already been gone if i didn’t have such loving people in my life, i don’t want to hurt them..and i love them so much..i don’t have any drive to try to change i don’t know why or what’s wrong with me. i don’t tell anyone on how i feel inside, not my parents, siblings, friends, my girlfriend. i just want to get some help, of how to change and be better, i hate being sad like this.. i stay on my computer all day because to escape my shitty reality. i want to change, i have so many problems to deal with that i don’t know how. i just want to be normal and want to live and be happy. i have a short temper i over think and rush to conclusions and i don’t know what to do. i just need someone to help me, or where to begin. i don’t know anything, i just want to change.

please pm PM, or add my discord. ZeroTwo#0002

(if you add my discord youre gonna have to reply with your name on discord because i have a lot of friend requests)

(there’s so many things in my mind that keep popping up and i want to add it.)

(re-reading this and my adhd is showing with all the “i” statements and jumping all over from topic-to-topic)

(at the time of writing this i’m in a call with my girlfriend, coming up on 7 months and i’m currently muted writing this, and didn’t tell her and don’t want to unmute as i don’t want to make her sad because of me crying.)

 

Edited by installed
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Damn. I not even gonna say I can relate, but if you need someone to talk to, just PM me. I mean I'm more comfortable just texting someone anyway so I should be free.

Edited by Brysonmedia
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Hey man, I know what you're going through in general but not completely. I am 18 years old and have had similar if not the same issues. I'm no trying to compare or compete. I'm just saying that I know how it feels. DM me when you're comfortable, I'd like to see if I can help. My discord is ElDiablo115#9784

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I'm far from being a doctor but it sounds like you may of been misdiagnosed possibly? When did you first get diagnosed? If it's been quite a few years I would go back and get retested. When I was taking ADHD meds I literally did all of my homework and was all A's and B's but it got to the point that the world was just too slow for me and it was driving me nuts. Come to find out I was misdiagnosed. Not ADHD but possibly Autistic since I'm showing signs more towards it then ADHD (I'm still in the middle of testing). 

Honestly though I'm sorry you're going through this but at that age and time schools (at least mine did) like to throw college down their students throats. You DON'T have to go to college. You can go to a trade school or you can just get a job and start a family or don't start a family, it's whatever YOU want to do. You don't have to impress anyone or go do something big because other people see it as "great". As long as you are happy that is what matters. 

Times are overwhelming at the moment especially for you. You are at that age where everyone especially older adults are gonna try and put you through as much pressure as possible by saying "You need to focus on this" or "You won't get anywhere by what you are doing now." What people don't get is that no, you may not be "young" forever but you are still alive and as long as you are alive you can do whatever. 

If you are feeling sad or down to the point that you are going to that dark place please talk to someone whether that be a friend, a parent or even professional help. Getting help or talking to someone isn't a sign of weakness it's a sign of strength!

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