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Brag on your technical achievements!

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Okay, so according to @zoop I was selling myself short in here, and I need to "own" my technical achievements. In that case, I won't be coy and I won't hold back, hahaha.

 

 

 

Dinosaur Era

  • (Accidentally) Destroyed a computer by wiping the hard drive using admin commands when I was 5 years old. (The computer cost $10,000 and yes, I was grounded for a f****** long time.)
     
  • When I was 7 years old, I wrote an interactive fiction game using QBasic.
  • Setup double entry accounting to manage my own finances when I was about 7 years old (fml).
  • I installed Linux when I was about 9 years old, and I read through a massive number of paperback guides on system administration.
  • Also by the time that I was 9 years old, I had learned about 4 or 5 programming languages (Python, Perl, QBasic, C, C++).
  • Assembled a collection of classic PCs, including an XT, AT, 286, 386, 486, etc, etc - all of the way to the Pentium III.
  • I ran Linux OS as my desktop operating system from about 1995 until 2005. (On about 5 PCs.)
  • (Accidentally) Blew out power to our house with an electronics experiment that went very, very, very wrong.
  • Wrote mods for various old games that no one cared about, hahaha.
  • Used sweet talking and ummm friendly messages to gain server access to anything that I wanted.
  • Used Excel to build a stock market prediction tool that put me in the top 5% on a virtual portfolio site.
  • Caught a computer monitor on fire and then put it out.
  • Wrote a custom AI for Age of Empires that was completely unbeatable, without resulting to s***** AI tricks like free resources.
  • Obtained a vast quantity of commercial software through emailing company reps and using charisma and smooth talking.
  • Setup and maintained a lot of semi-popular gaming servers for various open source games.
  • I used Linux and FreeBSD as my server operating system from 1994 until 2016.

2000 - 2010

  • Designed an entire Roman town using Lego CAD software and rendered it in 1080p (not very common back then).
  • (Accidentally) Incinerated a wireless Palm Pilot using custom code.
  • Started my own game company (failed miserably, oh so miserably, and quickly).
  • Used Lego CAD software to do some basic computer animations (I deeply regret not keeping any of these).
  • Wrote my own MP3 library manager and player using Perl, converted it to Python when I could no longer remember wtf it did.
  • Submitted patches to a fairly popular open source game (patches were accepted).
     
  • Maintained the Mac OS distribution package of another fairly popular open source game.
  • Wired up a small university with Cat5. (Manual labor, lots of cuts and bleeding, lots of crawling through weird places. I was very sad. Broke all my nails. Pls don't ask how I ended up doing this.)
  • Started a web hosting company on a custom server management platform. Failed, sadly.
  • (Accidentally) Melted my palm pilot phone into a pile of plastic goo due to a failed electrical experiment (phones don't overclock well).
  • Wrote simple games in Java and tried (and failed) to get them to run on a Palm Pilot.
  • Worked in IT for my college, using my Admin powers to play World of Warcraft all day when I was supposed to be working. Hue.
  • Worked on an open source game, helping them port over a hundred AI scripts into Lua. (Created automated script conversion tool.)
     
  • Wrote my own blog system based on Perl.
  • Started another game company, making a cross-platform game with Java (failed again, hahaha).
  • Wrote a basic roguelike game with a semi-random fractal-based dungeon generator.
  • (Accidentally) Melted a computer CPU and caught the mainboard on fire.
  • Created a strategy game that ran in Excel.
  • Wrote a portfolio management and reporting software package for a small investment company.
  • Wrote a blog, forum, and calorie calculator for a calorie tracking website (that was never released).
  • Built an automated web scraper that could "borrow" content from a website and neatly archive it for science.

2010+

  • Linux server administrator for a site with over a million posts. (Retired! Overworked and under appreciated.)
  • Wrote text to morse code generator in Ruby.
  • Used Excel to build interactive blueprints for furniture layouts of the apartments that @zoop and I have lived in.
  • Linux server administrator for a site with over a hundred thousand posts. (Retired! Overworked and under appreciated.)
  • Wrote yet another forum software package (over 50,000 lines of Python scripting).
  • Wrote more than 10,000 lines of Visual Basic (ew) on the job, macros for changing the way budgeting was done.
  • Currently working on another game company. THREE TIMES IS THE CHARM! :?

 

 

 

Okay, okay. I did the thing. I feel strangely guilty, lol, this is kinda "bragging" I guess. However, @zoop likes to brag on me, sooooooooooo... :crazy:

And all I can wonder is, what are you going to melt next? Lmao

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And all I can wonder is, what are you going to melt next? Lmao

 

My heart. :hot:

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Hasn't she done that already?

 

It's a recurring cycle of melting reconstituting. :o

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And all I can wonder is, what are you going to melt next? Lmao

 

This may count. I didn't put it on the list, because it just happened, but last week I crashed the financial system at work.

 

All 40,000 or so employees couldn't do shit for about 30 minutes. My boss was really happy. :?:?:?

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This may count. I didn't put it on the list, because it just happened, but last week I crashed the financial system at work.

 

All 40,000 or so employees couldn't do s*** for about 30 minutes. My boss was really happy. :?:?:?

 

Interesting. This reminds me of a prank Steve Wozniak pulled off, according to his autobiography.

 

He created a TV jammer and made life a living hell for professors and the class, as well as a few others.

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So far, most of my things were scripts and LiveDVDs, but I did get some print design too, such as:

 

a little double-sided trifold template in InDesign from scratch for use of making printed pamphlet like thing for a church meeting that was said to look professional.

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Fuck everything else on my list. Just fuck it. THE THING THAT IS JUST DID, IT WINS THE INTERNET.

 

Here's what I've done over the last week -

  • Poured a full glass of strawberry lemonade into my fancy super-expensive keyboard.
  • Hid myself in a closet and cried.
  • Disassembled the keyboard and removed the circuit board.
  • Wiped down the circuit board with rubbing alcohol.
  • Dipped the circuit board with the mechanical switches into a rubbing alcohol bath.
  • Washed all of the keys with dish soap.
  • Waited about 4 days.
  • Reassembled all the things (I ONLY HAD 1 SCREW LEFT!!!).
  • Applied lubricant to every single individual mechanical switch.
  • Pressed every switch about 50 times to get the oil into the assembly (they're welded onto the board).
  • Fully reassembled my keyboard AND AM NOW TYPING ON IT. The only downside is that my comma is a little dead. It'll get better, I think?!

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I'm not really the "tech" guy, but I'll bite:

  • Edited a number of videos (fake movie trailers and movie montages) using Premium Pro. Thought they turned out pretty good.
     
     
  • Modded just about every game that could be modded. Fallout 3, New Vegas, Skyrim, Dragon Age: Origins. That last one was especially a pain because of how much bug-fixes and aesthetic-improvement it needed. Not as bad as Skyrim, but still.
     
     
  • Created a lot of signatures with Photoshop back in the good ol' days. Of course, most of it were through the aid of a self-help guide online, but I still had quite a lot of fun making them.
     
     
  • Jailbroken my 3DS. This is probably my proudest achievement of all, because damn, you could easily mess this up (I know I did a couple of times and had to fix it). I even managed to upgrade it to the latest firmware recently without affecting the homebrew. Again, this is all thanks to self-help guides online, but still.
     
     
  • I, uh, replaced the double-A batteries on my keyboard. Does that count? xD

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  • I, uh, installed double-A batteries on my keyboard. Does that count? xD

 

Yup, it counts! No achievement is too small! :)

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Got CentOS set up with a fully function Apache server without turning off SELinux.

 

Man, that was a chore to figure things out.

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Sooo, remember the keyboard that I spilled liquid into and had to fix? Well, it broke down again. It turns out that low budget vegetable oil isn't actually a good lubricant for a mechanical switch, hahaha.

 

I had to take the damn keyboard apart again and use a proper contact cleaner. IT WORKS! That's three times now that I've kept the same keyboard limping forward. I'm totally patting myself on the back for this stuff.

 

Got CentOS set up with a fully function Apache server without turning off SELinux.

 

Man, that was a chore to figure things out.

 

That is a chore to figure out, hahaha. Congratulations!

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That is a chore to figure out, hahaha. Congratulations!

 

Thanks. I really hated how the filesystem was not completely accessible to Apache, but luckily I backed up CentOS as an appliance after getting permissions and commands right (I did it all without a GUI too).

 

It's no wonder it is easier to set up a server using the Debian family of Linux distros than the Red Hat family.

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I've reopened my Bitbucket account. Coding in Python. The code is flowing.

 

A secret project begins.

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I've reopened my Bitbucket account. Coding in Python. The code is flowing.

 

A secret project begins.

 

Bitbucket, huh? I guess you make good use of git repositories or something like that?

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Bitbucket, huh? I guess you make good use of git repositories or something like that?

 

That's a good question, and yes, yes I do.

 

I have over 10 personal repositories, containing about 250,000 lines of my own code.

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That's a good question, and yes, yes I do.

 

I have over 10 personal repositories, containing about 250,000 lines of my own code.

 

I see. I mainly use Github.

 

As for me, no achievements this week, except for the simple task of fixing the time in CentOS without a GUI. Need to remember to set the correct timezone when installing Red Hat clones.

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I see. I mainly use Github.

 

Github and bitbucket are basically the same exact thing. They let you use git repositories. Bitbucket is favored by the python community and it's free for groups of up to 5 (including unlimited private repositories), so that's why I don't use github.

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Github and bitbucket are basically the same exact thing. They let you use git repositories. Bitbucket is favored by the python community and it's free for groups of up to 5 (including unlimited private repositories), so that's why I don't use github.

 

I see. I usually just keep code on a local medium if I want to keep it private. I have heard of Bitbucket though, just not enough of the projects that I was familiar with used it.

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I semi-taught myself photoshop (with a little advice from my big brother as well)

This is an achievement for me, because I never thought I was creatively good at anything beforehand.

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I semi-taught myself photoshop (with a little advice from my big brother as well)

This is an achievement for me, because I never thought I was creatively good at anything beforehand.

 

That's kind of interesting.

 

On a related note, I taught myself how to use InDesign, and have been able to produce profressional quality printed material, though my college experience did help a bit.

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On a related note, I taught myself how to use InDesign, and have been able to produce profressional quality printed material, though my college experience did help a bit.

Yeah low esteem in my high school days didn't help my cause any and no family support either.

Hmmmmm so like have you tried printing anything you like from it?

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Hmmmmm so like have you tried printing anything you like from it?

 

I had to do something for a church I attended, and the thing I had printed off for them, which was just a listing of what would occur in a meeting and some announcements, was fairly well received. I still have the images lying around.

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