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What earns your respect?


Cy~

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People who are good to servers, retail workers, other people in general. So often I see people b****ing out the simple worker because "the customer is always right". But what I see the most is people who don't use their please and thank yous or don't really acknowledge the worker as a human. When I see someone who is nice to workers, asking how their day ism being polite and using please and thank yous, I earn a TON of respect for that person. To me, a person is only as good as they treat the people who serve them, so people who treat those very well are good people in my book.

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People who are good to servers, retail workers, other people in general. So often I see people b****ing out the simple worker because "the customer is always right". But what I see the most is people who don't use their please and thank yous or don't really acknowledge the worker as a human. When I see someone who is nice to workers, asking how their day ism being polite and using please and thank yous, I earn a TON of respect for that person. To me, a person is only as good as they treat the people who serve them, so people who treat those very well are good people in my book.

I have a few disagreements about that entitlement for workers (who are being paid to serve), but I don't want to argue. I'll say this much though: as a fellow human being who had to work my butt off to serve others, I don't think I should be given any special privileges just because I'm a human. I'm being paid for my work, and I'm not any more special a snowflake than the customer, who's forking out his money (and if you're in my position, you'll know the importance and value of money) to have a good meal.

 

I have respect for people who are blunt. I may not really like them - hell, I would possibly hate them - but given the right circumstances and ample time to cool off, I think I might just respect them for standing up for what they believe in. I'll probably never get along with them, but respect is probably a better compliment than being liked. It's a strange sentiment, hating someone yet respecting him, but there it is. I guess it's because it reflects my own stubbornness and my firm support of individualism.

 

I also respect people honest with their flaws, even if you get on my bad side. This is an extension of the above "standing for what you believe in" trait, whereas in this case, the person knows what they are weak at, and what negative traits they have, and recognize that those flaws are part of their character.

 

On the side of people I like, I also respect people who speak with eloquence. This includes people who write with eloquence like Cy~, but her head's big enough already. :P There's just something really impressive with being able to sway people with mere words. Sometimes though, this would also fall into people I dislike because they can be incredibly arrogant. I could respect you for standing your ground, but could you please not wave your ego around as if you're compensating for something? (Honestly though, I'm not one to talk as I can be really egoistical too)

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People who are good to servers, retail workers, other people in general. So often I see people b****ing out the simple worker because "the customer is always right". But what I see the most is people who don't use their please and thank yous or don't really acknowledge the worker as a human. When I see someone who is nice to workers, asking how their day ism being polite and using please and thank yous, I earn a TON of respect for that person. To me, a person is only as good as they treat the people who serve them, so people who treat those very well are good people in my book.

I actually agree with this one :) Idk but when I was young what I want to be was a cashier on a Grocery Store :P

 

I actually get impressed easily. Either my standards are just too low or I'm just ignorant :P

 

What earns my respect:

  1. A Person who respects himself and others. They say what you give is what you get so that's basically it. I'm kind of conservative (cause I'm a teenager living in an old school world) so just hints of questions or statements that goes a little to the boundary is like a huge bling bling on the warning sign for me. :)
  2. A person who knows how to understand that people have their own beliefs. We all have our own beliefs and sometimes you can't escape the fact that some people out there would try to force their beliefs on you and I COMPLETELY disrespect that. I can't be judge and won't be judge just cause of my beliefs.
  3. Persistence. I've always been persistent about things. Especially in maintaining friendship with friends in real life and over the internet. :D Being persistent in my case didn't turn out very well but that's still an A for effort :blush:
  4. Humor. I admire humor a lot. I don't wanna live with all the negative vibes cause Positivity is what keeps me going. And I always throw laughs in every situation even hard ones. So people who can smile in the rain are totally my kind of people <3
  5. Kindness. It doesn't hurt to give kindness. (y);)

On a side note, each one of us have our own standards in respecting people but that doesn't mean that each one of us should also try different things just to be respected by everyone. Being yourself and true to yourself is still a very good asset. :)

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I have a few disagreements about that entitlement for workers (who are being paid to serve), but I don't want to argue. I'll say this much though: as a fellow human being who had to work my butt off to serve others, I don't think I should be given any special privileges just because I'm a human. I'm being paid for my work, and I'm not any more special a snowflake than the customer, who's forking out his money (and if you're in my position, you'll know the importance and value of money) to have a good meal.

they usually get payed very little though;; most waiters/waitresses in the u.s live off of tips more than their pay. i think imogen is actually talking about treating them like a human. so when customers refuse to give any tips, (or even worse fake them) or treat their workers like robots who dont make any mistakes, i think it can be considered disrespectful for sure. i think imogen is just trying to say that people who go out of their way to treat workers well, even if they dont have to, means that they really value others. forgive me if this doesnt make sense;;;

 

as for me, people who really gain respect in my eyes are people who are very determined in what they do. whether that be their goal in life, or any sort of cause they support, i love seeing people who refuse to give up!

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I have a few disagreements about that entitlement for workers (who are being paid to serve), but I don't want to argue. I'll say this much though: as a fellow human being who had to work my butt off to serve others, I don't think I should be given any special privileges just because I'm a human. I'm being paid for my work, and I'm not any more special a snowflake than the customer, who's forking out his money (and if you're in my position, you'll know the importance and value of money) to have a good meal.

 

I know that zin already replied to this, but I wanted to chime in as well from the perspective of someone that has actually worked in retail at a food storefront (paid to serve). I'll caveat this, first, by saying that I think there may be some kind of culture gap here. In the US, it's very common for total strangers to say "thank you" and "please" to total and complete strangers.

 

However, a lot of people completely disregard local courtesy when they're dealing with people in the service industries. Instead of the normal greetings and interaction, people allow themselves to become animals, treating people in a way that is borderline harassment and sometimes in a way that is literally verbal or physical abuse. This. Is. Common.

 

In your post, you say, "I don't think I should be given any special privileges just because I'm a human". That's completely orthogonal. We're not talking about special privileges. We're talking about the baseline treatment that most people give other people over here. Have you ever heard the saying, "I wouldn't even treat my dog like that!" Maybe not, but in the Southern US (where I'm from), it was a common criticism directed at people that treated servers poorly. Because, they DON'T tend to treat the workers like they're human. That's obviously bad.

 

Back to the topic, I'll just say that I also value treating people with respect and decency. I grew up with this particular trait deeply embedded into me, and I have a lot of respect for people that treat people equivalently, regardless of rank and circumstances.

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Honesty: Being honest and vulnerable takes guts

 

Courage: I'm not a very courageous person, fear is the most limiting thing I find in life, so if you're courageous, you have my respect, and envy, let's be honest.

 

Discipline: I am a serial procrastinator, and aside from my ability to pull myself together so I can go lift heavy things or hit a bag, I am a complete mess. I admire discipline, almost as much as courage, discipline is hard, people who do hard things have my respect.

 

Kindness: Having the capacity to look at someone, understand what they're going through and help them, is admirable, and necessary in a society in which we are increasingly disconnected from one another. If everyone was kind the world would be a very different place, that goes without saying. Of course that's not how the world is, so all of us, including myself, must walk around armed to protect ourselves. There is evil in this world, maybe not in an objective sense, as evil is an idea, but it is nonetheless present.

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I know that zin already replied to this, but I wanted to chime in as well from the perspective of someone that has actually worked in retail at a food storefront (paid to serve). I'll caveat this, first, by saying that I think there may be some kind of culture gap here. In the US, it's very common for total strangers to say "thank you" and "please" to total and complete strangers.

 

However, a lot of people completely disregard local courtesy when they're dealing with people in the service industries. Instead of the normal greetings and interaction, people allow themselves to become animals, treating people in a way that is borderline harassment and sometimes in a way that is literally verbal or physical abuse. This. Is. Common.

 

In your post, you say, "I don't think I should be given any special privileges just because I'm a human". That's completely orthogonal. We're not talking about special privileges. We're talking about the baseline treatment that most people give other people over here. Have you ever heard the saying, "I wouldn't even treat my dog like that!" Maybe not, but in the Southern US (where I'm from), it was a common criticism directed at people that treated servers poorly. Because, they DON'T tend to treat the workers like they're human. That's obviously bad.

That's the US. I don't know how it works over there, but to be fair, in Singapore, we don't say those common courtesies to each other as often. As a matter of fact, we can sometimes be very rude to strangers. So when it comes to workers in general, I have a general expectation to be treated with the respect and courtesy I deserve because I get enough of indifference and rudeness outside of that restaurant. Singapore doesn't have a tips system, so yes, you do get paid for what you work. So yes, I don't expect you to be treated better just because of tips or the lack thereof. There's no such thing as tips in Singapore because you are already earning the same average wage as everyone else, $8/hour.

 

And c'mon, treating them like a dog... that's exaggerating. Again, I don't know how it works for you over there, but here, we understand the value of hard work and professionalism - or at least, I understand it. You are a worker for crying out loud. We are expected to treat customers with respect. That's a policy in almost EVERY single job you'll find out here, even part-time job. The job description for almost every job you find here is to "have a positive attitude and to SMILE at your freaking customer" for god's sake. They paid money for you, so is it so god**** difficult to make them feel a little better when they walk into the restaurant?! It's why I find the whole idea of treating workers with special respect ridiculous. We ALL get treated like s*** in the service industry. What makes you so special? You want to talk about equality, but then you expect some people to be treated better than others just because of their circumstances. That's hypocritical.

 

I'll quote what Kohloo said to me back then - "self-entitled brat", she called me. The truth of the matter is, I think those workers who complain are the real self-entitled brats because of how we are paid in Singapore. Kohloo would've gotten in backwards if she's a Singaporean citizen. Self-entitled is right. If you don't like your job, find another one and quit whining. There's always another person more willing, diligent, and hardworking to earn those accumulated eight bucks (which could very well go up to hundred bucks or more in less than a week). We Singaporeans, believe it or not, value hard work a lot. I'm not the best example because I'm not a very good Singaporean, but most Singaporeans value the humility of hard work, even in the service industry when things get tough.

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I would say some of the things mentioned here already would also get my respect.

 

I can be quite harsh with other people and their work, but those that take a look at what they have been told is wrong and corrects it in the next work do earn my respect because they no how to take negative feedback, especially as one writer had to spend so much time writing before the only things left wrong were too minor to get worked up over, and he has earned my respect because he does not seemed to overreact to my criticisms.

 

Another thing that would gain my respect is somebody that knows their limits.

 

As great as it might be for somebody to keep on going by being kocked down, the person might just be doing something stupid and they will fall if they continue on.

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I have a lot of respect for people who use logic, intelligence, and words to fight.

Although strength is quiet impressive I find a great mind to be even more impressive, for instance ... Most fictional characters in books I've read use their strength and fighting abilities to protect themselves and others, but the characters who barely ever even take up a weapon and instead use their smart words and wit to defeat the enemy was always more impressive to me.

 

Also, like @Cy~ said ...

Getting the s*** kicked out of you and getting back up. Toughness is a virtue to me. There aren't many that I respect more. Someone that can fall apart and put themselves back together, emotionally or physically, I have a lot of respect for the simple ability that some people have to keep standing back up.

I also have a lot of respect for people who could get back up after a mental or psychical break.

Those who can hide their emotions and show almost nothing in their expression even when they hurting are some of the most impressive people to me, I've always wished I could hide my emotions better.

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  • 2 weeks later...
When someone can be open to anyone and being able to take judgement from anyone. The complete opposite of me ,-,

Hi there!

 

Jokes aside, most of what everyone has already said pretty much qualifies. People who respect one another, people who can take a hit, be it physical or mental, and still stand on their own, and all that.

 

One thing that matters most to me is kindness, not just someone being kind to me or some other random person, but someone who is kind during the worst of times, when everyone else has either become too self-absorbed, or too quick to place blame on someone for something regardless of whether or not it was their fault. The kindness, and also in a way, leadership to handle a situation like that without raising their voice, without getting angry, and who will take the time to do what's needed in the best possible way, that earns my respect. In my last job, I was basically managing my department while working in it. As such, it sometimes happened that I needed to handle a situation, and if I could it on my own, I would. I didn't yell at people to get them to say what I wanted to know, I simply asked them about what happened during whatever situation they were in, if there were multiple sides to an issue, I'd ask everyone involved, and once I had figured out what happened, and who did what, I told them what they should have done based on my own experiences and company policy, and to avoid or improve upon the issue should it come up again, even in cases where I could have gone to one of my bosses and gotten them in trouble. I think handling issues where people learn, as opposed to when they are simply punished, is better for everyone, and it's takes a lot to do that sort of thing, so anyone who can do it, has my respect, and you can't do it without being kind. Yelling doesn't help a solve a problem anymore than hating a group, whatever that group is, fixes a problem. Kindness is the way to fix things, and it's not always easy, but if done right, it is always effective.

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For me it takes someone who is better then me at something that I put lots of time and effort in or uhh.... I will get back to you on the second one... I haven't given this much thought before so I don't know..

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