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Poetry Club

Imperfect


ItsSammy

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You say, "I don't want to change you."

Yet I need to be changed.

You say "I don't want to re-arrange you."

Yet I need to be arranged.

You say "You're perfect as you are."

But I'm falling all the same.

You say "Love comes from the heart."

But my heart isn't tame ...

 

How can you look at me and tell me everything is fine?

How can you look at me and be proud to call me, "Mine."?

How can you smile when I'm frowning?

How can you save me when I'm drowning?

If you're just there to tell me I'm alright?

 

You're supposed to pull me from the dark.

You're supposed to light the spark.

You're supposed to wake me up, not leave me to sleep.

You're supposed to fix my heart not leave it to weep.

You're supposed to tell me it's okay to cry.

You're supposed to tell me you don't wanna see me die.

 

Listen, I know, you think perfection is key.

But perfection isn't me.

I'm imperfect and broken.

You're social and out-spoken.

Yet you don't understand how to fix me ...

 

Tell me I'm broken, beaten and bruised.

Tell me I'm dark, demented and confused.

Tell me I'm childish, naïve and used.

Tell me I'm lost, stumbling and blind.

Tell me I'm the only one of my kind.

Tell me I'm lost in my own confined.

Tell me I'm weak, tell me I'm scared.

Tell me I'm trembling and impaired.

Tell me I'm unrealistic, unknowing, unprepared.

Tell me I'm mental, lost in the void.

Tell me I'm crazy and nearly destroyed.

Tell me I'm lazy, anxious and paranoid.

 

Tell me I'm broken ...

 

I need you to tell me everything I do wrong.

I need you to tell me where I belong.

I need you to tell me the truth of the matter.

I need you to carve and mold me like alabaster.

I need you to change me, re-arrange me.

Deface me and trace me.

Keep the things you love about me.

But tell me to change the vile things you see.

 

I can not go through life with sugar coated words fed into my brain.

I can not go through life like that, it's driving me insane ...

I'm cynical and cruel.

Outlandishly a fool,

At least when it comes to conversation.

I'm unpredictable in every situation,

Nobody every knows what to expect from my neglect,

Neglecting the sugar coated words,

Fed to your sheep-like herd,

Just so they can revel in their own self worth.

What a pity that's how we live on this earth ...

 

So don't neglect my intellect,

And don't confuse penance with dependence,

For I do not depend on anyone but myself, alone.

My head is my home, where all my thoughts I hone.

Still, I sometimes wish for you to pull me from my mind,

And, just once, tell me you can find,

Something beautiful in my calculated lies ...

 

Don't lie to me and tell me I am perfect, for perfection is a lie.

Just as love turns to hate in the blink of an eye.

Nothing is forever, yet nothing is for not.

Everything we do, shall in the future rot.

Yet, still it has a meaning, lost in this world.

Sometime in the past or future, it will have unfurled.

Whether or not it's painful, whether or not it's true,

Everything that happens, is somehow connected to you.

So don't go telling me I'm fine, just the way I am.

For I know I am sinful, I am not the holy lamb.

I am wicked, I am vile, I am cruel in all my ways.

So if you can not find something, don't lie to me these days.

I know I am nothing so just tell me the same.

I know I am unlovable, so shower me with shame.

Don't you dare lie to my face,

While you disguise it as grace,

I see past your soft voice,

I see past your word choice,

And I know you know I'm imperfect,

So don't ask me to meet your verdict.

 

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