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EvilRedDwarf

How in the world do people actually find online friends?!

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So,I’ve been on Internet for about almost 14 years and I still never had any online friends, I’ve been on a lot of pages and apps for a different things like anime,manga,books,movies,games,itc. but I could never find enough courage to comment on things so ofc I couldn’t get friends but even if I did I see no way that could help me make a friend, so here I am,properly asking you my lovely otakus,how do you do it?

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Well you have to reply to things often as a start. People aren't going to remember someone who only posts rarely. If time isn't the issue, you have to start by being active wherever you're at. That way people can get a feeling about, what you're about, where you stand on things etc. Most people aren't blindly going to talk to someone, ask them to be their friends and have that go anywhere. If being active is hard, which I can understand why it would be, then it's going to be difficult to make friends. However, if you can manage it, that's the best way to start.  

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I felt the same way in the past. I have also been on a lot of online forums and also some fanfiction sites, and it was hard for me to reach out to people or leave comments. Once I started, people were certainly receptive to talking, but even if they did respond, that didn't guarantee friendship. I guess what I am trying to say is to just be active in commenting (like the person ^ said) on things that you like because friendships, for me at least, usually start with being mutually excited about something and from there, having certain similarities in interests. :) It's hard, but it's certainly worth doing! 

On another note, I assume you're on this site because you like anime/manga/games/Japanese culture and I am also new around here, so I'd be happy if we could talk too!

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I've had a few online friends and usually it starts by direct messaging on topics we both are interested in.  Doesn't always work out. Takes interest on both sides. Once you start a friendship, please remember that friendship is never convenient.

 

One person was creepy...stalking a mutual online friend and obsessing over her. Had to unfriend him when she went silent and he started trying to reach her through me. He had boundary issues and was really socially confused.

 

Another was a good friend and we got along great but life pulled us away from each other. I wonder how he's doing sometimes.  He was one of the few people that I would ask for advice from.

 

Another...well, something absolutely tragic happened to his family and they did not recover. I think he died, alone. We tried to save him, but he chose his path. He wanted to be as close to his wife as he could be and it killed him.  He lost everything trying to save her and his life waiting for her after that. Truly sad. Our ineffective attempts to save him is probably what pulled me and the friend above this one apart.

 

 Another was a good friend, would exchange Christmas gifts, and chat on the phone, but once she started cheating on her husband, she got real paranoid and cut me off (not my place to tell her husband so not sure why she did).  I have a few here but none where I've shared my name and traceable information.

 

I guess just try to be yourself and hope your cards fall in a good place.

Edited by Beocat

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On my first forum I really had a hard time having someone to talk to. I didn't post anything cause I was really shy to show my opinions on things. XD So I ended up just liking a few posts out of nowhere and it must have been really awkward for thos forum members since I didn't really talk. Like literally. XD Some forum members notice this and actually posted a post on my profile like "Thanks for the likes" and that basically started my warming up to the place. I think forums could work for you since a lot of forum members likes to welcome new people and that is actually an opening to have internet friends. :)

Btw, I dont know if it works for you guys buuuuut on my other forums I made quite a lot of friends due to the fact that I found some people from my country and they were quite a lot of us. Like 13? So we ganged up and made a groupchat and all. We actually cause quite a rampage which made the forum moderators discipline us all the time. XD 

I think it's more like opening yourself so that other people might open up as well. Finding someone to be branded as a "friend" on the internet is hard though. Since a lot of people do come and go especially in the internet. :D It basically depends on both parties if they still want to be friends or not.  

I hope I helped. 😛

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Wow thanks guys,I actually didn’t think I would have any comments on this and that they would be really helpful...since I’m pretty shy,and posting this here,to me,was really hard but I’m really glad I did it 🤗

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10 hours ago, RyePotatoes said:

I think forums could work for you since a lot of forum members likes to welcome new people and that is actually an opening to have internet friends. :)

That is partly why I try to welcome new members.

 

I was part of a forum once that was very closed. First, after joining, you were only allowed to respond to posts in the general section or intro section (filled with locked outdated threads because the longtime members never posted there), had to introduce yourself and get an arbitrary number of likes to your post, had to make so many posts in your limited section, were not allowed to start new threads, if you posted or made new threads or outside of you pen they were immediately deleted by a mod...  then after you fulfilled the ungodly like, post, sponsorship count (I forgot, someone on the main forums had to think you had something to contribute before you could graduate out of probation) you had free reign of some of the forum. It was a very elitest environment and not friendly at all to new members. 

 

I didn't like the vibe and decided that I didn't want any part of that. Welcoming new members is a positive sign of forum health and openmindedness. It is only ever a good thing.

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I see it a lot like making friends IRL, it just kind of happens the more and more you interact. Not always exclusively on forums, either. I've made a surprising handful of friends through the games I play, many of which I've even met IRL and shared beers with (definitely not encouraging it, but it is realistic and we'd been talking for years at that point.) One among those I met through a video game we became a lot more than friends and have been together for 8 years now with a very healthy relationship (that one's a long story.) 

At least in my case I just don't let myself get shy, I'll even get in voice and bs with people I hardly know. If you participate and engage the people you feel you connect with then you're likely to form a friendship. But if you hide and lurk and never talk then of course there is no foundation on which a bond can be formed. 

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1 hour ago, Wedgy said:

But if you hide and lurk and never talk then of course there is no foundation on which a bond can be formed

Way to ruin a dream...😂

 

 

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You just talk with like minded individuals and such and eventually a bond will form.. Some of my best friends are people I met online nearly 14+ years ago.

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Wow, fantastic words of wisdom from everyone! I don’t have much to add, everything has pretty much already been said. 

Just remember though, people do come and go throughout our lives. So just try to enjoy the time with each person and try to think fondly of those times if you/they eventually drift away. And if things happen to end badly? Well, not everyone is meant to get along, better to focus on the next positive relationships :) 

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It's unique to each person because what makes you feel connected with people can vary. Usually find some common ground with people who love to talk.

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It's kinda like making friends irl but you don't have to leave your house... XD

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I have no idea how online friends happen. I go online and BAM friends appear. It's a gift and a curse.

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48 minutes ago, Ryuji said:

I have no idea how online friends happen. I go online and BAM friends appear. It's a gift and a curse.

If you would be so kind and give me your curse☺️

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1 hour ago, Ryuji said:

I have no idea how online friends happen. I go online and BAM friends appear. It's a gift and a curse.

Wicky and I have a habit of just attaching ourselves to people that we like. So, like it or not, you are stuck with the two of us, son. <3

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1 hour ago, EvilRedDwarf said:

If you would be so kind and give me your curse☺️

Unfortunately this curse is non-transferable. I've tried to give it away before. Let me try cloning it.

Razzle dazzle fizzle furse let EvilRedDwarf join in my curse!

17 minutes ago, Izzy said:

Wicky and I have a habit of just attaching ourselves to people that we like. So, like it or not, you are stuck with the two of us, son. <3

<3 You know I'm okay with this Master. The slavie Ryu loves his Master Izzy and Aunt Whit. <3

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3 hours ago, Ryuji said:

Razzle dazzle fizzle furse let EvilRedDwarf join in my curse!

Thank you very much,now we’ll wait and see if it worked😁

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3 hours ago, Ryuji said:

Razzle dazzle fizzle furse let EvilRedDwarf join in my curse!

 

8 minutes ago, EvilRedDwarf said:

Thank you very much,now we’ll wait and see if it worked😁


This has been a delightfully wholesome exchange. :D One of the reasons I keep coming back here.

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1 hour ago, Wedgy said:

 


This has been a delightfully wholesome exchange. :D One of the reasons I keep coming back here.

IT MUST BE THAT CURSE,IT'S WORKIING! YAY 🙌

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The internet friends I've developed have always been by accident and not design. Really, just kind of happened. Usually it was through forums, chat rooms but mostly through games...huh...anyway, I can tell you however that internet friends tend to be very ephemeral and fragile. I mean honestly, when you have live breathing flesh and bones you can hang out with and do things with other than chat, post, or play...you tend to move away from those that are located solely in the cyber-world. Only once have I actually ended up meeting the person in RL. 

I can tell you the easiest way...just ask. Just say "Hey wanna' be internet friends?" and go from there. 

Ironically people have the round about way of doing things that has always perplexed me. I mean, if you want or need something, just vocalize it. But I digress, I won't veer off into that discussion. Back on point, just chat/post and find someone you may enjoy hanging out virtually with and just be open about it and go from there. 

Cheers and good luck. 

-Kuro

 

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So we find that the easiest way is to be vocal about what you do and don’t like. We’re part of a group that absolutely loves Dewgong for example (well, one of us is. The other technically isn’t, but is in the group anyway), and they are some of the most important people in the world to us. We talk basically daily, write stories together, play games, and we meet up IRL semi-frequently.

 

We met @awesomedude20 on the Kissanime forums, but didn’t really start talking until he set up a Yu-Gi-Oh thread. From there on, we started talking pretty frequently, and started moderating.

 

Just find your niche, and really explode with it, until you find someone else with the same niche.

Edited by the_twig
Grammatical errors
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Even though this post is quite old.  I'm bored and just in the mood to type while before I start back on my next work project.  Finding online friends can be quite nice.  Most of the time I've made online friends it's been in online games.  I used to have an xbox one and on there by playing games I was pretty good at I managed to impress some people and they start chatting, we over time friended one another and started party chatting all the time while playing multiple other games.  Now that I don't have an xbox it's similar with the pc.  I've met a few people in MMO's and they seem alright so far.  Just be active.  It can be difficult to be active the more you get into adulthood.  If you've ever seen the graph for how to survive college it's a lot like that.  it's easy to keep up with studies and work, but if you throw in a social life it's difficult.  If you socialize and study, it's hard to work and if you socialize and work, you don't study.  There just isn't enough time in the day.  But I'd like to make some new friends sometime.  I always try to find someone to chat with after I'm done with a project.  

 

Well good luck.  

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On 5/25/2018 at 9:10 PM, Izzy said:

You just talk with like minded individuals and such and eventually a bond will form.. Some of my best friends are people I met online nearly 14+ years ago.

How old are you today?

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23 hours ago, Maniac said:

How old are you today?

I am 28 turning 29 in September. 

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