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jubacard

Journey of the Dimensions (working title)

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Posted (edited)

Hello everyone my name is Julian Barragan but y'all can call me Jubacard here lol. 
I'm a proffessional filmmaker from Colombia that for some reason decided to start writting a manga lol. 
I'm familiar with the rules of story structure and I add my flare to it, but this is for sure my first attempt at a shonen format. 

The lore of the story Centers Around The Morai Agency. They have the job of fixing time anomalies throughout space and time. Matsuko is our rebel member of Morai, and ise, our protagonist is a first semester college student who doesn't know what to do with his life, they meet and go on crazy space and time adventures. 

It's done in a screenwritting format but with some liberties taken. 
Every type of comment of suggestion is recieved! thank you! I wanna write as much as possible.  If any of you want to draw any of the situations or characters, I'd love to see what this story can inspire. Hey, maybe a collab with someone? 

Journey of the dimensions Episode 1.pdf

Edited by jubacard

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Your image links aren’t working. How about typing them here but in spoiler tags?

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Posted (edited)

Absolutely. 

For some reason I can't see the edit post so I'll put them here.

Here's the story pilot. Not sure if it should be a One shot/3-4 manga chapters or how to properly split them, but as it is right now, it is meant to be read as 4 different chapters. 

Journey of the dimensions Episode 1.pdf

 

Edited by jubacard

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I liked chapter 1. Seems you have a pretty interesting concept and characters. 

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Posted (edited)

Thank you! 
 

I'm actually gonna start working with an artist to get this first story (Until they rescue the Tashnar) properly made.  Any thoughts on the characters or the story so far? Does it catch your attention? I wanna polish the story as much as posible before I show the manga form. 

Edited by jubacard

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I’d suggest an edit for general English grammar and typos. 

Also there’s a part that’s unclear to me.. since it seems to be the same scene? Is the intro a flashback of when Matsuko and Ise meet? 

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Posted (edited)

100% with the typo stuff. 

And the intro is just the beginning of that day, but since by that point Ise hadn't gotten any blue blood on him, he just didn't see them. 

Edited by jubacard
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I couldn’t determine if that was the case due to the dialogue in the intro scene.. I’d polish that part to make it more clear if you can 

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Posted (edited)

Some of the links weren't working for Chapter 2. So I was unable to fully understand what was going on.

I think it's good that it started with a bang. You got right into it. This would look great as an anime.

With a good artist you can portray the chase scenes in an exciting manner.

It might also be a good idea to ask feedback from fans who enjoy this genre. Personally, I don't watch too many action anime. Hope they will see this thread and comment.

I would love to see the storyboard of this though. As a manga is a very visual medium.

But I feel you're on the right track. Just maybe cut down on the flashbacks? It might be hard to pull off in manga. It being static images.

Feel free to post on the Writing Tutorials by the way. I'm sure people will appreciate it.

Edited by Ryan Dave Jimenez

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There is a text s´read for the first three chapters!  would love your input for the full story. And thank you for letting me know about the other forum. 

Btw, I am awful with names and I wanna replace all of them. SO if you guys have any suggestions I'm open ears! 

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I'm letting the characters develop a bit more before I chose a name (I take forever with it lol, trust me I even research baby name sites XD) but I also wanted to see what you guys thought , a "he/she totally sounds like a " type of thing.

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Posted (edited)

STUFF IS HAPPENING GUYS!

Here are the designs of the leads, and a sketch for ch 1!! Let me know!!!

Ise.png.0065491f60bc72f35240161bf22641b6.pngMatsuko.png.4a2b67fa221014eab23cdaf14661abc3.png10.thumb.jpeg.9a810046a323dd226f4e28cf465adb05.jpeg9.thumb.jpeg.17b9d2b39dedaa5f6894578b12a9126c.jpeg1362150301_8.thumb.jpeg.490f3f8d02bed653eaf6b8256bd764ac.jpeg7.thumb.jpeg.f6aaf0808048205dc4704073993329ed.jpeg6.thumb.jpeg.fb99d4fc6d852f57c3c5fda15cef6c08.jpeg5.thumb.jpeg.6761c1b838a3eac17c0b707625b478da.jpeg4.thumb.jpeg.d1cdb4dc7ae2fc585bcbf38142089339.jpeg3.thumb.jpeg.90ddd81d83e05b75033f85578d615f64.jpeg2.thumb.jpeg.88aeef4eed54965366d52601d51016bb.jpeg1.thumb.jpeg.30b56dd05e10a0fdc3b7715c4914ac90.jpeg

Edited by jubacard
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Logo! Cover art coming soon. 
 

Which verson do you like better? sqeued or rectangle?

logo4.thumb.png.b1f03631b7a89957c55e12fc3a6782f5.png

195965483_logorectangle.thumb.png.7eaf1706b63867108ed5b718baf6fbb2.png

 

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Wow! Your artist is doing a great job bringing this story to life. I’m enjoying the rough sketches, it’s easy to imagine the story alongside (I remember most of it without having to go back an read). Love the characters, the crocodile thing looks like a cool dragon 👍

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I am so pumped! The one shot should be done before the end of may, can't wait for you guys to see it.

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Posted (edited)

cough cough, update, cough cough, here are some screens :D  (black vest was a prototype, it will be removed. 
1303316258_WhatsAppImage2019-04-27at4_18_27AM.thumb.jpeg.3d727ed4e8e2e2e966ad378e20b35f84.jpeg142903849_WhatsAppImage2019-04-27at12_47_10AM.thumb.jpeg.7aff205e09e45a5d3c8083719ea8713b.jpeg968282938_WhatsAppImage2019-04-27at9_27_58AM.thumb.jpeg.c197e9773b211ca810b951dc05033535.jpeg446461945_WhatsAppImage2019-04-27at2_29_26PM.thumb.jpeg.997759a1b10fc776607193b5f17b0c36.jpeg1882666378_WhatsAppImage2019-04-27at5_31_56PM.thumb.jpeg.4501513e51b1816c3eb0c9c9ed60805b.jpeg1224732666_WhatsAppImage2019-04-27at3_35_15PM.thumb.jpeg.1e79456094f11e9fb9e8e6d003c03ddc.jpeg

Edited by jubacard

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Posted (edited)

Ladies and Gentlemen! I give you CHAPTER 1! Still to be polished. But I want feedback so! let it rip! 

1628509701_page01.thumb.jpg.7c762fc7a2f68835eb131189f23736c5.jpg1699414485_wordfromauthor.thumb.png.86b9c8948f5134fff7a6e5be6c847806.png

 

904927622_page03.thumb.jpg.c79d36ae4e91d9166e918777c7f2f129.jpg1472803466_page02.thumb.jpg.b810220f013bd42650940ef8fa8e6c27.jpg

 

2105609613_page05.thumb.jpg.5f49cde5e13f3fa3cbd62cc72acb09ba.jpg472274019_page04.thumb.jpg.15ba5ab719bfb66a5eeeac6aa8031116.jpg

 

1983798396_page07.thumb.jpg.8f21d61e556b42edc884d501ff385f20.jpg1642847750_page06.thumb.jpg.e89969e9996db26c2853d3722d8abcbb.jpg

 

 

1162873477_Page09.thumb.jpeg.b73eebc3af137912ff7fb7f7b3ca6dd4.jpegpage 08.jpg

 

1275799564_Page10.thumb.jpeg.843ade2a34fb5b2d8787aa55bee22f00.jpeg

 

 

This is the last sketch update until the one shot is done. I'll update the cover page once its done and someo ther stuff, but for actual manga pages, it'll head to medibang.

Edited by jubacard
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