jubacard Posted April 22, 2019 Share Posted April 22, 2019 Hey Everyone! I am currently working on a one shot manga and it is finally developing into something. Would love to get the forum's opinion. I leave you with the script for the one shot, logo, some designs, and the sketches for the first part (CH1) All feedback is welcomed! Thank you for taking the time to take a look. Logo Spoiler Script: Journey of the dimensions (Oneshot-CH 1 to 4).pdf designs: Ise & Matsuko: Spoiler Sketches CH 1: Spoiler 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sakura Posted April 23, 2019 Share Posted April 23, 2019 Those are some really amazing sketches and cover art. It looks like you have some very nice talent and it would be interesting to see where that manga would go 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jubacard Posted April 23, 2019 Author Share Posted April 23, 2019 (edited) One shot should be done by the end of May! I'm super pumped lol Edited April 23, 2019 by jubacard 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sakura Posted April 23, 2019 Share Posted April 23, 2019 It'll be really nice to see that finished! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jubacard Posted April 23, 2019 Author Share Posted April 23, 2019 Any Specific things you like or you think could improve? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jubacard Posted April 28, 2019 Author Share Posted April 28, 2019 (edited) Cough Cough, updates! Edited April 28, 2019 by jubacard 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jubacard Posted May 9, 2019 Author Share Posted May 9, 2019 Ladies and Gents I present to you CHAPTER 1 of the one shot. This is the last sketch update, the rest of the one shot will be available at the end of the month for the contest! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Illusion of Terra Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 (edited) Looks really impressive. Better than a lot of stuff I see in official mangas such as in shonen jump Edited May 9, 2019 by Illusion of Terra 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jubacard Posted May 9, 2019 Author Share Posted May 9, 2019 I really hope it becomes something even If we don't win the contest. Any specific thoughts or comments? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Illusion of Terra Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 (edited) 24 minutes ago, jubacard said: I really hope it becomes something even If we don't win the contest. Any specific thoughts or comments? I can be quite critical, so be careful what you ask for So, here's what I think. The artstyle and the drawings are really impressive. Everything is clear (i.e. it's clear what is moving, falling or standing, what is in front of something else etc). I might have made that pill in a darker color maybe (or with some kind of inscription/letter on it), so that it is more clearly separated from the woman's shirt, but that's just a question of taste I guess. Storywise it's interesting, but I don't quite get why the guy would simply take a pill some random weird woman on the street offers him (even if he thinks that the blood might be dangerous for him). Other than that, her holding up her phone/device which says "Human" was something I liked. I also liked how the monster was not shown until later on and then got his own panel for it! Language-wise I liked it but I think there's an "i" missing when the guy says "That was the aftertaste? Why the hell did I eat t". Also, on the last panel I would leave out the "because" (before "If I don't get the" (might make it more epic), just a suggestion. All in all, this has a lot of potential! Edit: one more thing I noticed. The first time you see the woman in full she has something like a T/cross on her left shoulder but in the last panel where she stands she doesn't. That doesn't bother me and I didn't notice until I looked really closely at everything. I would have assumed that it's either different clothes or just the angle, but if you want here to wear the same thing, this might be something to consider. Edited May 9, 2019 by Illusion of Terra 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jubacard Posted May 9, 2019 Author Share Posted May 9, 2019 That's the type of feedback I need! Thank you! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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