While I've been off of here for a bit I've been hanging out with my boyfriend a lot more and getting more close eoth him, especially emotionally. I was finally able to open up about my past sa to him and how it's affected me. I've been very scared of physical touch and interaction since, when I do do it after I relize what I'm doing I get scared and lay off. Yesterday I went over to his house. We watched a movie, got food, and we were cuddling and I felt very very happy, I didn't feel uncomfortable at all. And then idk we just had our first kiss. I've been literally terrified of kissing because I always was worried I'd do it wrong or something but it's not scary at all. He also said I'm a good kisser...muehehe