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Killua00

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  1. Hey guys, this is something that's been going on in my life not sure if this is the place to talk about it but I'm curious what you guys think about it. So I've been dating this girl for a while, we met online. We live on other sides of the country (she's in west USA I'm in east). So of course it's very much a long-distance relationship. So when we first started talking I talked to her a lot about the anime I watched (harem, romance, ocasionally nsfw etc.). Obviously you'd expect a girl to freak out when you tell her you watch that kind of "embarassing" stuff but she didn't really seem to think much of it. She told me she watches harem anime and plays otome games too, so I was really happy that she accepted that part of my lifestyle. Didn't really expect to find a girl like that ever so it made me really happy. The relationship started getting more serious real soon, we started meeting up more. (The plane tickets are super expensive but since we're both working full time we can afford it somehow). It didn't take long until I found out how insecure she is, though. She's beautiful, so I try to tell her that a lot and it seems to help. The part that's affecting me the most is how she views the girls in anime that I watch. Apparently she thinks I view those girls as perfection and that I would love her more if she could just change herself into one of those girls. I tried to tell her many times over that even though I like those girls as characters in a fictional story, they don't mean nearly as much to me as she does. It's been going on for a few months now, there've been no signs of improvement. At some point she even got the idea in her mind that harem anime/ visual novels and all of that "don't belong in a healthy relationship" and that she hates all of it with a passion. For me, nothing has really changed since we started dating as far as that's concerned. I can enjoy media with sexuality/romance in a fictional setting, and still love my girlfriend in real life. Now the thing is, this girl would do anything for me. That's why she keeps telling me that she's not forcing me to quit watching anime or stop doing things I want to do in general. But somehow I jusf can't enjoy anime when I know my girlfriend doesn't accept it and becomes insecure whenever she sees it. There's been a few cases in which she actually got really sad and cried and seemed on the verge of collapsing just because she looked up pictures of a show called high school dxd that I was watching. Even though she doesn't tell me to stop watching these things, I just can't enjoy them knowing what they're doing to her. I tried telling her that I wouldn't watch it anymore and that it's ok and that it's not a big deal for me to stop, but to tell the truth it really is. I can't just start hating anime that I've loved for years just because that would be more convenient for her. What should I do? Talk it out? Tell her that I want to go back to watching all of those shows? I know she might actually get depressed/cry if I told her that. I don't have many friends or hobbies outside of watching anime so I don't know what to do anymore. I'm starting to feel a strong feeling of guilt through my daily life, since I feel I'm letting her live in a lie by acting like anime is not important to me anymore. It is, just not in the way she seems to think. I can't enjoy anime knowing she would actually cry if she found out. It actually feels like I'm cheating on her somehow even though when I think about it that's ridiculous? Any ideas what I'm supposed to do? I'm not scared of her breaking up with me tbh (I know she won't do that) I'm just really scared of hurting her. And honestly I just can't break up with her over this somehow.
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