So what I am going to talk about in this blog I think we can all learn something from it. And I don’t really tell people this story but I thought why not as it might be useful for some people. Also this is my first blog so mind the grammar
My life up to midway through high school has just spiralled down to darkness. Yeah high school was very dark times for me. So how did I end up down there I will tell you now. I am not there now so relax
Firstly when I was about 8 I came to England with my family only because most of my Mumzy’s relatives were here also that I could experience better education. I left my country my dad left his parents there and I left my friends there. Of course over time my dad started to loose his temper because he felt bad leaving his parents. But the only reason they allowed us to go so I can get good grades. Yeah that was a lot of pressure I felt throughout my school life. Everyone had high hopes for me.
During my primary school I was the smartest in the class so education didn’t concern me. What really concerned me was I started realising we don’t have much money. Everyone in my school had cool stuff and I felt left out as I didn’t have any. My parents used to say it’s waste of money but I had realised we were on a budget. Towards the end of primary school I realised we live in a council house my dad had troubles with Work and it was low paying. He couldn’t get a good job as they didn’t ‘want to’ accept his foreign degree.
We were pretty poor as our house was squat we didn’t have anything good and etc. This got worse when my Mumzy gave up on Work. There was a time when we were homeless for one day then were given a house.
All this being poor being treated differently and the pressure of getting good grades is what made me switch to the dark side as I started to crave for money. Now I am in first year of high school. This high school was a bad place to be as they were bad people here. This is where I heard about making money through drug dealing. I manage to make friends but not the good ones. They were loyal but they also talk about gangs and drug deal but we were all still ignorant then. This made me peak my interest in gang culture. Overtime us friends started to get our hands on some drugs. Some of my friends were already dealing as they’re brothers was a big shot.
It was year nine when my arrogance was at its peak. Before year nine my parents used to think I was a good boy as I did everything behind their backs. My dad still working hard so I have a comfortable life for good education. But In year nine I started living the thug life. Making Money, looking tough and fame was all I was. Bunking school so I can deal some drugs, smoking in schools field with some of my friends bringing thoes sort of things to school. And one day I went so far to bring a pocket knife to school (don’t ask why). I got caught with the knife and several other things like a vape and liquids and a roll up tobacco. My parents got called into school and this is where I started to realise the things I was doing was bad for me and my parents. In that meeting my Mumzy cried and my dad was dissapointed and upset. I could tell It was in my parents mind that what was my child doing all this time (as they did constantly ask me if I was okay). Also asking themselves How ignorant could we have been. This made me realise the actions I took had a big effect on my parents as they love me enough to give up their own well-being for mine
After that I stoped smoking and dealing and tried to get my grades up as they had fallen below 0. I still hanged out with some of my friends who didn’t smoke or deal but they still were very bad people as they liked to fight and do gang things but they we’re still loyal friends. I still acted like a thug but slowly I had started to mature. I started hanging out with my friends less and less because my uncle gave me soo much knowledge and wisdom I had grown soo mature. I started to see the world differently.
However, The event that completly changed me into a good warm person was in year 10. I was hanging out with my friends In the evening. We were walking in the highstreet and one of my friend saw a homeless guy just smiling at him. Forsome reason that smile of the homeless guy pissed my friend off so he went up to him and started to throw food at him then skittles and encourage the guy to fight him. All the homeless guy did was just smile whilst food and skittles were getting thrown at his face.
I looked at that homeless man and realised how privileged I am. He looked like someone’s dad and he was homeless. This showed me people are in a worse situation then me. I can’t imagine to feel the amount of pain he feels and he shouldn’t get treated like this. I was once homeless for a day and didn’t feel good at all he is homeless for a long time. He is also all alone in the street side not bothering anyone he has nothing nobody he is nothing to the society and he’s just smiling after all that. His face gave a hint of peace something I was not in I have been soo irritated for all my life but I shouldnt have I shouldn’t have hated everything. He is homeless but he is in a better overall mood than me. He does not want to deal drugs make money do other very bad things to smile he is just smiling.
Then my mind had shifted and realised the homeless man was getting treated like an animal by my friend. Is this how we humans behave. Was I really friends with this parasite. That time so much anger and sadness was boiling up within me I just wanted to beat up my friend but i just resisted and just waited for him to leave so after that I sat down next to the homeless man. And we just talked and he was a very nice person. He had more knowledge of everything than me. His life story and his ideals made me cry a little. This also had shifted my perspective of the world dramatically.
After that I was always nice. Giving money to homeless and not in greed with money. I start saying money comes and goes. My dad got a very high paying job though some links and we got a new house. Life In general has improved soo much especially my dark side which, infact I didn’t got into much detail, to a nice person. This also had made me very social. I Made new friends But I don’t think I could ever make as loyal friends as those ones I had. They have also changed a lot but still no to them as they still kind of get in trouble with minor things.
And now I am just trying to keep my parents happy as I have caused them soo much pain in the past. Acctualy everyday I tell my Mumzy sorry and how much i love her. This is because she showed the most sadness and me and my dad don’t talk much.
There was a lot of things I missed out. If this was useful or interesting to you then I might re write it with everything in it and making more sense.
And again sorry for the grammar because I was writing as I was thinking. Soo I don’t forget things.
And yeah this is a conclusion of part of my life. Now I am just living life to the fullest.