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Wow, I never knew...



This has been one crazy bumpy trip for me over the past several months.  I left my job with no promise of a new job and so far, I've had fairly terrible luck in landing one.  Let me give you a bit of history.  The place I was previously working for four years suffered greatly from certain individuals blatantly abusing their authority, retaliating against anyone who would dare speak the truth in the multiple investigations that occurred (four in four years...unheard of, yet the higher ups continue to protect the corrupt likely because they are just as corrupt), targeting people for abuse, bullying, and hazing, and discriminating against individuals on the basis of color, gender, and religion.  Let's not even cover how they bluntly did not care for patient safety because "it's not like they can sue us" (guess what...some of them can!  It is no excuse for sub-quality care and possible intentional endangerment of a patient!).  Needless to say, it was a fairly terrible environment and the last year I spent there was full of anxiety and depression.  I considered the place I worked as The Gates of Hell.  I was burned out, exhausted, and I was actually starting to hate people, and I'm not like that.  I was also doing 90% of the work there by myself.


So I left, a friend of mine left, another friend of mine left, another person went into rehab (drugs and alcohol...can't blame her in that place), another got arrested for fraud (that one can be blamed on him alone).  While myself and a friend kept up with one another, my other friend only kept up with me for a little bit.  We talked about how much of a relief (physical, mental, and emotional) it was to be away from that place, no matter the financial difficulty it would bring us.  We talked about meditation, exercising, cooking, spending time with our loved ones, the hobbies we had left behind due to the stress...  When she stopped emailing me, I thought she had decided to move (she had talked about it) and wanted to cut off all friends and memories of that place (I wouldn't have blamed her).  I hadn't heard from her for three months, then she sends me an email out of the blue.  She had been far more depressed than the rest of us.  She had almost taken her own life. 


I knew she was very depressed.  She was treated far worse by our supervisors (even though she hadn't been there nearly as long as I had) and truthfully, I don't think legally that they should have been able to treat people the way that they did.  When myself and my other friend left, I believe that she felt alone and solely targeted.  She didn't stay longer than a month after we left.  I can only imagine how difficult the healing has been since then.  Truly no one can understand how bad it was unless you were there.  Even now, I know they curse my name because now they have no one to do all the work for them (the people who are left are worthless and incompetent, but their incompetence makes them not a threat to the incompetent management).  All I want is to move on and never feel the way I felt while working there for the past 4 years. 


I hope that she stays in contact with me this time and I hope she never feels that low ever again.  This universe can be so unfair sometimes but in the end, things will even back out.  They have theirs coming to them. I can only hope so anyways.  I think if I make it through all of this, I just might leave this profession forever.  Plan my exit.  Or at least invest in an alternative income source.  Anything to never feel as though I can't freely leave a bad job again.  I'm so thankfully I had months saved up to support myself through this. 

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23 minutes ago, Wedgy said:

This is, I feel, the reason it is so important to be able to separate and balance work and home/family life. When work becomes too demanding- so demanding in fact that it consumes both of those things, that's when you know that job is dangerous for your health. I sometimes come off like a dick because I refuse to mingle too much during work hours. I walk away from overly personal conversations that have nothing to do with the work. Letting myself get emotionally invested with my coworkers' lives can only lead to drama, in my experience. And that's a lot of things others can use to manipulate you. 

That right there is why I have a rule I live by.  I don't go out of my way to remember names or get to know anyone I'm working with until I've had a chance to watch them work for about five or so months first.  Usually by the end of five months, you can tell exactly what kind of horrible person the person is, whether that be stalker, gossiper, clingy, fibber, lazy, highstrung, petty, whatever.  And the less people know about me the less they can target me from.  I just don't trust people in business because most people will try to climb to the top off the backs of person they stabbed. 


The thing is, this was in a government facility on federal land (where somehow most labor laws don't matter).  When I first arrived, one investigation had just ended.  The previous department head had been groping the contracted staff on the job (just walking up behind them and grabbing crotches and boobs and sexually harassing them).  The girls reported it to their supervisor who laughed in their faces and told them no one would care and to get over it.  They felt they had no alternative (reporting outside the department had caused retaliations in the past).  Eventually, one girl opened an investigation on it regardless of the backlash and the investigation team dragged it out so long (intentionally) that the statute of limitations ran out before the department head was charged (and he was able to retire honorably with full benefits and pension off of my tax dollars).  Then the investigation team turned it around on the victims and reprimanded them for not reporting it outside of their chain of command (even though many had proof of previous retaliation for having done similar things) sooner.  I grew up in an AF town.  Well, I can tell you, none of that would fly if it were AF. 


I could describe every investigation in detail and how it ended and the promises that were made to certain individuals if they were complicit in a lie or cover-up or if they failed to give adequate testimony.  I can tell you how investigators intentionally changed witness statements (hoping the witnesses would just sign it and not read what they were told was a transcript of the interview).  Corrupt!  So very corrupt!


I'm definitely better off away from there.  I have one interview later this week, one I did yesterday, and I have a possible future interview (when the job is no longer on hold....they are changing it from PT to FT) in a few weeks.  I'm hopeful for myself.  I haven't heard from her though since.  I'm not sure I will.  She was flighty at best...I couldn't blame her.  Talking to me must remind her of that place to some degree.  I still can't believe that I made it that long in that place.  It has made me certain I never want to work in a place like that again.  I had misgivings my first day there (literally I think the world was trying to tell me to back out quickly) but I stuck it out.....next time I'm listening when the world or a higher power tries to tell me something important.  I will obey!  LOL

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