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ItsSammy

Ash.

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Ash.

 

Cigarettes as painkillers, why did I think that would work?
Drown my sorrow 'til tomorrow with the flick of a spark
And I'm working on something that needs more teamwork
But I'm busy choking on smoke out in the dark ...

Alcohol and painkillers mixing in my throat
Choke back the pills just to fight back the smoke
And I thought I could calm my shaking with a coat
But my bones seem to ache as if they've been broke

She says I taste like ash when I kiss her lips
I guess I don't taste the same as I did when we met
And she says my hands shake when I touch her hips
So when she falls asleep I smoke another cigarette

I can't keep her happy anymore, I think that happened a while back
'Cause she used to kiss me like I was her world, everything she needed me to be
But now she stares into space when she thinks I'm busy with another pack
And barely kisses me at all when we meet ... so why does she stick around with me?

Swallowing back another round of painkillers I try to force my hand to stop shaking
It's been trembling all day, the veins visibly pulsing with alcohol and ash
Every breath and every step sends my head reeling with thoughts that send me quaking
And I can't seem to figure out how to fix my problem, I'm down to my last bit of cash ...

She says I look like I've been crying but I swear it's just the smoke
'Cause I'm on my last pack of cigarettes and the rooms filled with their scent
She says my eyes look darker than usual and I can tell she hopes it's a joke
But I've never been good at those, jokes I mean, they never come out how I meant

In her eyes I see the coldest shade of fear and she takes my shaking hands in her steady ones, tight
She looks me right in my cold, dead eyes and swears she's gonna make this night worth my time
So I try my best to focus on her, on the way she's focused one me, but my mind wanders back to the sparks light
Sitting beside me she looks so heartbroken and I know my silence is nothing if not a crime 

Standing outside the store I can't help but wonder how my eyes must look in this light
Red shades casting shadows over my face that I fear make me look like a devil
And as I look up at the sky with smoke in my lungs, I let this cloud out into the night
Watching it twirl, separate and vanish I go back to our springtime revel ...

In the smoke filled room she caught my eye with the way she kept on dancing
Like some sort of mystical creature enclothed in smoke and lights
Her eyes locked on mine and she flashed me a smile so entrancing 
That I kept coming back just to see her light up even the darkest nights 

And as I sit outside, my knees aching as they press into the concrete
I can feel the blood in my lungs starting to rise and I clench my teeth
Imagining her finding my body sends me down a backstreet
And I hope to God, if He's up there, he has pity on those who're beneath ...

  • Love it! (Daisuki) 1

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