I been reborn. I think.

[Philippine Big Boar]

I think what happened to my mother changed me but not in a bad way. When she got admitted to hospital for the 4th time I felt like I reached the lowest level of despair. But later realized that later it's either parents left me or I left them and that hits me hard realization

Then one day ago I read this documentary story from 74,000 years ago and this made me suddenly want to help humanity and help the world better even a little without getting anything in return. 

This story is about the eruption of a supervolcano called "Toba" around 74,000 years ago. It nearly killed humanity by blocking the sun for almost a decade and shrinking the population from 2 million to 5000. These 5000 are the ancestors of mankind, they persevere no matter what and here I am doing nothing. I think some Christians don't believe in this as they believe mankind is 10000 years old and they reject evolution. At first I'm too miserable and hopeless because my Mother was at the hospital and I had to survive and live for her but now I don't just want to survive, I want to help the world too. But I don't know how. 

It's not just this volcano event there are several events in history that could have extinct humanity yet mankind perseveres.

It's because of 5000 survivors that mankind experiences beautiful things like Anime, technology, art, and every beautiful creativity and I want to help mankind to produce more creativity.

These two events changed me

Since then I act like a responsible real adult. I now always take care of myself and my brother now wanting to learn how to manage a house like living alone. I always clean now and It's something I haven't done before. I remember this news in South Korea of a man killed himself and his room literally flood with garages in knee level high. 

A thought occurred to me. I now want to help the world unconditionally. And later I realized. Even if I don't make any good changes in the world, what matters is I will always strive to make it better not just for my happiness but for everyone. I want to help the world and as long as I live I will always try to make it better and it doesn't matter if I fail or not I will not waste my life doing nothing to change the world. I no longer hate society. 

For those people who Hated me and wanted me to be miserable for fun I just wanted to tell them that I don't hate them and I will help them without asking anything in return. In fact helping others now is now my happiness. 

I think I may have found a way to treat my depression, a disease I suffer from since 2011. I won't waste my blessings and I will help the world.

[ReverzerO]

On 5/23/2025 at 7:43 PM, Philippine Big Boar said:

I think what happened to my mother changed me but not in a bad way. When she got admitted to hospital for the 4th time I felt like I reached the lowest level of despair. But later realized that later it's either parents left me or I left them and that hits me hard realization

This is unfortunate how are you now? And Im glad you re still positive also, your parents didnt leave you as long they are in your heart, they always beside you

[Philippine Big Boar]

1 hour ago, ReverzerO said:

This is unfortunate how are you now? And Im glad you re still positive also, your parents didn't leave you as long they are in your heart, they always beside you

Thank you. Well... These past few days I'm consumed by anxiety and despair because ni have no money, drawing commission and work but I feel bit better now after I got some help. I don't have work yet but I'm applying right now both as an employee and an anime artist.

[ReverzerO]

26 minutes ago, Philippine Big Boar said:

Thank you. Well... These past few days I'm consumed by anxiety and despair because ni have no money, drawing commission and work but I feel bit better now after I got some help. I don't have work yet but I'm applying right now both as an employee and an anime artist.

Glad to hear you re ok and thanks to people who helped you during your down moment. Goodluck on your application and I hope you grab a suited job for you 

Speaking of anime artist, care to show some

[Philippine Big Boar]

2 minutes ago, ReverzerO said:

Glad to hear you re ok and thanks to people who helped you during your down moment. Goodluck on your application and I hope you grab a suited job for you 

Speaking of anime artist, care to show some

I have these examples 

[ReverzerO]

21 hours ago, Philippine Big Boar said:

I have these examples 

Another monster artworks how did you create them especially the monster? Im starring them carefully but I guess they are digitally created?! Im also imagining I already saw that monster! Something like she s a boss in a game like final fantasy, one of the summon!

Ive also met someone like you personally in a computer cafe who can draw monsters and post them to their website. Traditionally, they draw using paper, scan then post. 

[Philippine Big Boar]

Just now, ReverzerO said:

Another monster artworks how did you create them especially the monster? Im starring them carefully but I guess they are digitally created?! Im also imagining I already saw that monster! Something like she s a boss in a game like final fantasy, one of the summon!

Ive also met someone like you personally in a computer cafe who can draw monsters and post them to their website. Traditionally, they draw using paper, scan then post. 

Yes they are digital. I look into references and I draw these on phone using finger as pen

[ReverzerO]

18 minutes ago, Philippine Big Boar said:

Yes they are digital. I look into references and I draw these on phone using finger as pen

That was so persistent using only finger to draw🫨 mee im using only mouse to color my drawing in photoshop

You should at least create your own thread in Art Exhibit section

[Philippine Big Boar]

2 minutes ago, ReverzerO said:

That was so persistent using only finger to draw🫨 mee im using only mouse to color my drawing in photoshop

You should at least create your own thread in Art Exhibit section

I'm curious is looking for work allowed here as artist?

[ReverzerO]

28 minutes ago, Philippine Big Boar said:

I'm curious is looking for work allowed here as artist?

I think this is only an anime forum site! Maybe you can do commision in deviantart but havent tried it because i think you need to subscribe to get bigger space for your arts, something like premium account!