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Sunsets & Sadness


Sakura

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I've had a strange last week-ish when it comes to emotions. I don't really know why I can't get mine in check lately. I feel like I'm going from one moment of extreme happiness to the next moment an hour later to extreme sadness. I probably actually have a good idea why, which confuses me even more, but I don't think I'll get it under control until I figure out this situation. I've spent the last few years not having any type of real feelings for anyone else, and honestly I was fine with that. There was 1 person, and this 1 person only, who I haven't seen in awhile & he never knew how I felt to begin with, but I'm not going to get into all that here lol ~ and then I went and caught feelings for someone, ew. 

I was debating telling them until they called me and started telling me about some girl they had just started dating. I don't think I've really felt "okay" since that happened last week. While that hurt I also felt kinda.. glad? After I really thought about it. Mostly because I feel like I'm getting feelings for someone else and those bother me even more because I can't figure out if I really am or not. Also that person lived in Brazil and while we've met once before IRL I always felt like he was just using me for various things and as if I was just someone to talk to when there was nothing better going on. When I look back on it all though I realized I never said *anything* to him at all about anything I felt and basically was just living out whatever I thought we were/could be in my head. May have been a good thing though. 

As far as the other person goes, I haven't figured that out yet either, and I feel nothing but extreme confusion with whatever I'm feeling there. I mostly just want to go out into the woods and scream at a tree about it. I don't know how I went from years of being content with just me and understanding that was all it was ever going to be, to being hurt by some idiot and absolutely losing my mind about another guy at the same time. Though neither of them know/knew and odds are I won't tell this other person either. I never know how to confess that to someone so instead I just put up cryptic Discord messages and try to hope they are psychic or something lmaoo

All that aside though I went up to the roof today to think about all this and there was the most magnificent sunset I've seen in a long time 💜 I sat up there watching it until all the colors had gone from the sky. That's what I have pictures of today for this, so I hope you enjoy looking at them and sorry about the rambling. 

Piccys below vvv

Spoiler

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There is also a short video I took of it:

https://i.imgur.com/ei92yRX.mp4

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Okay I'm here to solve this once and for all. Roommate Therapist Pessi. 

Forget the Brazilian.

New guy ✅ for now I have no issues. I'd rather it was someone not online but I'll accept it 😆 My only issue is I think you need to give it more time because it hasn't been long enough to really understand what you are feeling about him and it may not be serious feelings. You need to stop and take a step back from him and look at what you are feeling. If you still feel it in a few weeks or a month then consider telling him because he's a guy and we are not mind readers. In fact, we usually don't do very well at picking up on most cue's women think they are giving us lol. Since this is internet it's even more a complicated because he can't see you. He can't know unless you use your words. 

Old guy that we both know is never coming back. It's time to move on. You said you wanted to so you need to let go of it because it's just never going to happen Renny. I love you a lot and I say that as someone who does. I want to see you happy and keeping yourself from loving anyone on the hope of someone returning isn't going to get you there. 

Pictures are beautiful. It was a perfect sunset and you always capture things well. You have a good eye for photography. 

Watch a few more sunsets and think about what I've said. You'll figure it out. Don't just run away from all of this - I know how you are. Figure it out. Let the other people go. Tell the new person if you realize you do or I'll get on there and tell him myself ;) 

 

Edited by Zeref
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Those are really lovely sunsets, I really like looking at sunsets no two are ever the same. Standing somewhere on your own and watching the sun slowly set is a great way to think things through. Don't hold on to the past, it's never coming back. Look forward to the future. Don't spend your time thinking about what might have been or might be, live for what you can do now. Take it from someone who wasted a lot of time seeking for something and never finding it before realising that it wasn't necessary for having a happy life.

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I feel as if I missed some things 🤣 I know about the person whose name starts with "Yu" and as Pessi also said, I've never liked him either. It seems to me like you just send him money and buy things for him all the time and he uses you for that. I'm glad you've started to see it.

I know very well about the past person.. Where I'm lost is who is the new person? 👀 I didn't even know there was one lmfao 

4 hours ago, Animedragon said:

Those are really lovely sunsets, I really like looking at sunsets no two are ever the same. Standing somewhere on your own and watching the sun slowly set is a great way to think things through. Don't hold on to the past, it's never coming back. Look forward to the future. Don't spend your time thinking about what might have been or might be, live for what you can do now. Take it from someone who wasted a lot of time seeking for something and never finding it before realising that it wasn't necessary for having a happy life.

This right here is everything. Consider the future and what's ahead there's no sense in holding onto the past and missing every opportunity in front of you. You could be missing out on someone really special and forfeiting your own happiness in the future by living in the past. 

About the photos I have to say those are amazing. That's the kind of sunset I like to stop and watch.

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I read this I'm coming back here to edit this soon I have lots to say but I have to walk home🧍

I came back to edit this and I felt like I lost brain cells reading it again 💀

Ummmm why even think about -that- person?? He just wants money period end of story. That's all he ever asks from you he even had you lying about iPhones to Dad to buy him one wtf quit it someone that really cares about you won't do that. The only other times he messages you are when he wants you to buy him pizza or a game. I know that isn't easy to hear but it's the truth and we've been saying it. 

Edited by Sarada
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17 hours ago, Zeref said:

Old guy that we both know is never coming back. It's time to move on. You said you wanted to so you need to let go of it because it's just never going to happen Renny. I love you a lot and I say that as someone who does. I want to see you happy and keeping yourself from loving anyone on the hope of someone returning isn't going to get you there. 

Umm yes time to move on there's not any happiness you're going to get from that. 

17 hours ago, Zeref said:

 Tell the new person if you realize you do or I'll get on there and tell him myself ;) 

If he doesn't I will do it 🙋‍♂️

11 hours ago, Animedragon said:

Those are really lovely sunsets, I really like looking at sunsets no two are ever the same. Standing somewhere on your own and watching the sun slowly set is a great way to think things through. Don't hold on to the past, it's never coming back. Look forward to the future. Don't spend your time thinking about what might have been or might be, live for what you can do now. Take it from someone who wasted a lot of time seeking for something and never finding it before realising that it wasn't necessary for having a happy life.

Mr. Dragon knows what he is talking about so listen to him he is very wise. 

 

I don't know why it didn't merge my replies BUT Dating sucks but there are some good people out there whether you find them online or irl doesn't make a difference just find someone that you connect with emotionally and is GOOD to you and go all in.

Edited by Sarada
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@Zeref Yeahhhhhhh I know all of these things are right & believe me I hear you but I need to just work some things out in my head. 

22 hours ago, Zeref said:

Watch a few more sunsets and think about what I've said. You'll figure it out. Don't just run away from all of this - I know how you are. Figure it out. Let the other people go. Tell the new person if you realize you do or I'll get on there and tell him myself ;) 

I think we both know I would log off the internet for the rest of my life if you did that lmfao 

@AnimedragonSunsets are one of my fave things to take pics of, they always turn out so nice. I'm trying to do exactly that but I think I just have a few insecurities to work through specifically with rejection lol 

@Sasuke Yeah I'll fill you in tomorrow Ori XD But yes the person whose name starts with "Yu". 

@Sarada WTF LOL I know though, mistakes were made @.@ I don't plan to send him anything ever again. I'm also avoiding his messages because he hit me with the "good morning my princess" this morning because he wanted something. I'm not going to be someone's side chick for money. I would like to think I'm worth more than that. 

5 hours ago, Sarada said:

I don't know why it didn't merge my replies BUT Dating sucks but there are some good people out there whether you find them online or irl doesn't make a difference just find someone that you connect with emotionally and is GOOD to you and go all in.

Valentine's Day is coming up so.. maybe I'll try lol

Also thank you all for the nice words about the pictures ~ There will probably be a lot more sunset photos. 

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No maybe just do it 👏👏👏 unless you want to just sit around writing sad poems and ish about it feeling sorry for yourself the rest of your life. If you weren't in a different start right now I would march over to your door and slap some sense into you. 

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5 hours ago, Sarada said:

No maybe just do it 👏👏👏 unless you want to just sit around writing sad poems and ish about it feeling sorry for yourself the rest of your life. If you weren't in a different start right now I would march over to your door and slap some sense into you. 

Someone should.

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6 hours ago, Sakura said:

WHY ARE YOU THREATENING ME I'M DOING MY BEST 

I suspect that they think you're not sorting things out quickly enough. Take your time, work things through slowly and carefully and you will get there.

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1 hour ago, Animedragon said:

I suspect that they think you're not sorting things out quickly enough. Take your time, work things through slowly and carefully and you will get there.

I want her to take her time sorting it out but I also don't want her to close the door on someone else with how she usual acts when something like these things happen. Deciding they won't like her without even letting the guy know how she thought isn't fair to her or him. I think she should wait several more weeks to tell the other person how she felt to get to know him more and make sure those feelings are valid and are sticking around too. 

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