This morning I checked my AP score results. I had signed up for two classes, AP art where I had drawn a comic series throughout the year, building a portfolio to submit. And AP Japanese, where my knowledge from the past 4 years of my studying would be put to the test.

How scoring works, is its 1 - 5, 3 is passing and anything under means you don't get the college credit. Japanese I got a 2 (｡•́︿•̀｡). And for Art I got a 4 (o_O) !

I was expecting to fail my art, since I wasn't sure how anime esque manga inspired comic would be received by highly technical artists who are scoring my work. If you would like to see my comic, I'll be posting it on my art channel called Froggy's Art or something like that. I forget. This is a link to the thread here.

I was feeling confident with my writing and reading, but I think I messed up on the speaking portion, I fumbled that for sure. I didn't really know what to say in regards to Japanese sports since I'm not a fan. But oh well. I was planning to take the JPLT, but I think I might postpone it. I've been studying less since I've just been pursuing other things than school. But seeing these scores really makes me reflect, with my dad I've been having a lot of conversations about what career I'm going to pursue. I'm already taking a gap year, so I can just figure something out.

But really, I just want to make art, hang out with friends, and watch anime. I enjoy reading manga in Japanese and anime without the subtitles, and when I go to Japan again then I'll have skills to navigate. But in regards, to working in Japan or trying to fit in there, I don't think its for me.

In middle school, I used to idealize Japan a lot. As any normal child, I've done my fair share of daydreaming. But when it comes to reality, I want to develop my art skills. Practice Japanese as a hobby, and enjoy other aspects of my life like skateboarding and making memories with people that are important to me. Pretending to be something I'm not is something I'm going to let go of. Just to reference, the area I live has a high korean population. I'm asian, but south asian. Ever since I was kid, I've had a hard time fitting in or having a community because I'm mixed and don't properly relate to my white or asian side. At my school, the korean kids always sticked together because of discrimination, but that meant I couldn't fit in with the white kids or the asians at all. I felt really left out, after giving up on trying to fit in, I just did everything in my power to be as weird as possible because I just wanted attention. (-_-;)・・・

I thought I could make my whole personality be being weird, but that also wasn't me. There are very normal things about me, liking anime is important to me like a lot of different things. I'm glad my interest has pushed me to work hard in Japanese class, and anime and manga for inspiring me to make art.

In my Japanese and art classes, I've made great friends and memories. It was the best part of my highschool life, which is why I wanted to take the AP, just to see how what I learned would measure up. But the actual value of those classes was teaching me that identity is made up of tons of things, who you are changes, but the things you love don't fade away that easily. Doing what you love to is the best way to live(〃￣ω￣〃ゞ

That's all!