Soramee_

i can't stop being scared of asking help from others, i hate being like this so much, i hate this so much aaaaa. even if it's for something good idk why i keep seeing it as not even when i do anything. i keep increasing my own burden even tho it would help me. im even scared posting what i feel here, because i don't wanna be a burden to anyone, even though this is my last safe place, the last place i could call home

We're all indecisive at various times. Sometimes it's hard to decide what to do, be it a big decision like what job apply for or what school/college to apply for or a small decision like do I go out or stay home today.  It's ultimately a matter of weighing up the options and trying to choose one of them.

As for being scared of asking for help from others. I think this comes down to wanting to be able to be in charge of your own life, and society does tend to push the idea that we should be self-sufficient and that asking for help is a burden for others. But in reality people are often quite happy to help, but they don't like to be seen as interfering so they don't usually offer. So don't be afraid of asking for help when you need it.