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Alive and yet so dead


SAO LILDOOP

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Alive and yet so Dead 

I am alive, 

on life do I thrive, 

every morning to this earth I arrive,

yet into depression do I dive,

As I my poems archive,

past struggles, distant pains,

never-ending tunnels, no-stop trains,

It's strange really, this feeling of anxiety,

existing only in my past, yet refusing today's piety,

I am sorely outclassed, in my own society, 

as though I am over it, though I am glad,

my subconscious mind goes into a fit, driving itself mad,

It's not hard to deal with, for what is there to it? 

Its easy to live, though I cannot stop chomping at the bit, 

hungry for death, for morbid world-views,

cannot take a breath, while watching the news,

Yet I am filled with joy, smiling everyday in the church pews,

Or am I yet coy, by mine own self truly abused,

I think it is this, yes this alone, 

I cannot forget the fist, that shattered my bone,

it was so powerful, it did not relent,

made me so sorrowful, yet I live unrepentant, 

wearing his face as a pendant, 

my work living by his every tenet, 

because despite my hate for him, 

he gave me a purpose, 

my life no longer a monotonous sim, 

no longer a recluse, living only to myself reduce,

so despite the pain he caused me, 

despite bringing me down to one knee, 

I can live ever thankfully, 

as he is now my friend as well as my enemy,

without whom I could not live so powerfully,

without whom I could never be so free...

 

Image result for demon angel face

 

Edited by SAO LILDOOP
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