Spring is coming soon, and while it's not exactly my favorite season (much more of a Winter person), I am looking forward to seeing all the flowers. You really can't go wrong with flowers as the subject of your photos' or take a bad picture of them. Nature is definitely one of my favorite things to photograph and Spring always creates the perfect backdrop for any photo in my opinion. With so many parks around the area that I'm living in right now I'm hoping to be able to get out and take some walks and a lot of new photos this season.
When I think about Spring the #1 thing that also comes to mind is new beginnings which is kind of where I'm at in my life. Working through a lot of different feelings and emotions and trying to let go of the past and work on my present & future. I'm hoping to start a new chapter in my life in more ways than one. There are some days when that feels more difficult than others, I suppose today would be one of those days but I'm trying to deal with it as best as I can. The beginning of things can be scary, whatever that is, whether it's a new chapter in your life, new love, new school, new whatever. With me, there's just a lot I need to process for this next chapter of my life but I'm hoping it blooms into something beautiful that I can look back on some day and be happy that I took the steps that I'm taking now.
Here's a few photos I took last Spring to look back on ~ The butterflies are from the Chicago Butterfly Gardens that you can walk through and most of the flower pictures I believe are all from my Dad's yard.
There hasn't been anything particularly interesting to post about in my blog lately, just been trying to get through school days and life in general. I've been going through some confusing emotions and trying to learn how to let go of some things from the past which have been harder than I expected. In some instances I think it's easier to hang onto past things or people because you've held on for so long that it becomes all you've really known and even when it's hurting you, you don't want to let go of them or the situation. Even when it hurts at least pain lets you still feel like it's with you or a person is with you even when they aren't.
In my case, I'm tired, and above all I'm tired of hurting and waiting for someone that is never coming back and that's really just something I've accepted. I feel like I deserve to move on and be happy with someone in the present instead of constantly living in the past and never moving forward. Though this is all a little personal and I guess that's really all I want to share about it at this time. On the happier note though I have decided to let myself find something in the present to be happy with and I'm proud of myself for that much.
Onto some pictures since of course this is still my photography blog lol ~ These are some of my favorite pictures I took from the roof of our house back in the Summer during a really pretty sunset over the city & I hope you like looking at them too ✨
Under the spoiler ⬇️
These are some of my favorite pictures that I've taken that are Autumn themed ~ Obviously this was from back in the Fall. Pessi & I visited a lake and camping area and it was absolutely beautiful there with the leaves changing. It was also pretty quiet and there really wasn't very many people, which made me enjoy it much more. I hate when I visit places in nature and there are just people everywhere running around and screaming. It's like you go out to relax but how can you possibly do that when there's a million people running around lol ~
Pictures are below in the spoiler ⬇️
Second part ⬇️
I guess I really don't have much to talk about in this blog, so sorry about that. There's nothing very interesting going on in my life right now but I just wanted to share one of my favorite picture series I've taken in my lil photography blog 💜 I suppose Valentine's day is coming in just 2 days as far as holidays go, but I doubt that's going to impact my life very much.
I've had a strange last week-ish when it comes to emotions. I don't really know why I can't get mine in check lately. I feel like I'm going from one moment of extreme happiness to the next moment an hour later to extreme sadness. I probably actually have a good idea why, which confuses me even more, but I don't think I'll get it under control until I figure out this situation. I've spent the last few years not having any type of real feelings for anyone else, and honestly I was fine with that. There was 1 person, and this 1 person only, who I haven't seen in awhile & he never knew how I felt to begin with, but I'm not going to get into all that here lol ~ and then I went and caught feelings for someone, ew.
I was debating telling them until they called me and started telling me about some girl they had just started dating. I don't think I've really felt "okay" since that happened last week. While that hurt I also felt kinda.. glad? After I really thought about it. Mostly because I feel like I'm getting feelings for someone else and those bother me even more because I can't figure out if I really am or not. Also that person lived in Brazil and while we've met once before IRL I always felt like he was just using me for various things and as if I was just someone to talk to when there was nothing better going on. When I look back on it all though I realized I never said *anything* to him at all about anything I felt and basically was just living out whatever I thought we were/could be in my head. May have been a good thing though.
As far as the other person goes, I haven't figured that out yet either, and I feel nothing but extreme confusion with whatever I'm feeling there. I mostly just want to go out into the woods and scream at a tree about it. I don't know how I went from years of being content with just me and understanding that was all it was ever going to be, to being hurt by some idiot and absolutely losing my mind about another guy at the same time. Though neither of them know/knew and odds are I won't tell this other person either. I never know how to confess that to someone so instead I just put up cryptic Discord messages and try to hope they are psychic or something lmaoo
All that aside though I went up to the roof today to think about all this and there was the most magnificent sunset I've seen in a long time 💜 I sat up there watching it until all the colors had gone from the sky. That's what I have pictures of today for this, so I hope you enjoy looking at them and sorry about the rambling.
Piccys below vvv
There is also a short video I took of it:
https://i.imgur.com/ei92yRX.mp4
I've been going through some of my old photography from Chicago and I've realized how much I miss it. I usually just ignore feelings when I can, especially sad ones, but I suppose it hit me really hard today/last night. I know I have to be where I am right now for school but I don't know how else to put it other than it sucks.
I miss the school I was going to there, I miss my friends, I miss living down the hall from my sister, I miss the little store I went to on the way home from school, I miss sitting by the lake, I miss going to the aquarium and the Beluga whales I got to play with sometimes while doing class credits, I miss being near my dad, I miss walking downtown at night listening to music, I miss the trains and subways, I miss the little spot I'd sit at on the river walk and do my HW, I miss going to Grant Park, I miss riding the electric scooters downtown, I miss going to the shopping center in Rosemont, I miss going to all the anime conventions around there, I miss doing silly things like the time the power was out and for some reason me and some friends just went Naruto running in the park lol, I miss the apartment I lived in, I even miss he way the air smelled (which is weird for it being a city). I just miss a lot of things and I've never felt so homesick.
Oh well, I guess I really have no choice but to just get over it.
Here's some picture I had taken from the place I used to sit quite often and have lunch at. I had a specific bench that was "mine" lol
I've decided to make a blog on here mostly to post my photography because I love to take pictures. Mind you, I'm under no circumstances a professional photographer, I just like to take pictures of things I find pretty. That'll mostly be nature such as flowers, animals, sunsets/sunrises, water scenes from when I'm out on the boat (I'm studying to become a Marine Biologist so I'm on the water quite often), snow scenes or architecture because I'm quite fascinated with buildings.
I'll also probably ramble here occasionally about whatever's going on in my life or my mind at the time.
For now I'll just start off with posting some of my favorite pictures I've taken. Most of these were taken in Chicago, Illinois. I'll always keep these behind spoilers so they don't overwhelm the page. You can just click on it to view the picture.
Chicago at night:
Some water scenes:
Random architecture & parks:
Welp., that's all for now. I'm still sorting through some of my old photography so I'll try to do that tomorrow and post some more of it in my next entry on this. It's just a matter of organizing it but I seem to not have a lot of time during the week with classes going on. By the time I get home half the time I just get in bed anyway and play on my phone.
