What's your conspiracy?

[Clayton]

  These days it's all about conspiracies. You can hardly look at a screen without someone shouting that this or that is the result of people working together in secret to do something nefarious. There's this one guy... well let's say I went to the library to see a Haitian cookbook and could not find a single recipe that requires four drumsticks...
  Now I've had fun with conspiracies myself. I wrote a book called Sapphic Spies that suggested that of the crazed theories about lesbians that people have come up with not one, but ALL of them were true. They infiltrated everywhere, they have psychic powers, seduce all women with little effort, have amazing physical capabilities allowing them to master sports, they build killer robots, defy god's will, have poisoned the water and brainwashed children... honestly the Illuminati should feel like they are just lazy in comparison. Apparently lesbians are born ninjas and then level up. The only people who are more active apparently have an agenda to prevent orange people from becoming president and apparently includes half the planet. 
  So what conspiracies do you know about or believe in? Which ones do you think are bogus? Why do you think that? No need to hold back. It can be true or not. Your own personal theory or something you've seen or heard elsewhere. No doubt anyone involved in it already knows you know and is monitoring you, so do not hold back. 

  Personally I came up with a theory about Area 51's true purpose. It's been believed for centuries that supernatural creatures appear when someone says their name or thinks about them too much. People pray all the time in the hopes that their god hears it. You were supposed to touch a piece of iron if you thought about or mentioned elves, otherwise they might show up and mess with your livestock, abduct your children, and fly through the sky causing mischief. Demons would possess you or curse you. In attempts to control the supernatural people began performing ceremonies usually involving sacrifices that got progressively more extreme and led to your people being strapped down and having their beating hearts cut out.
  In other circumstances it requires much less effort. Monsters appearing int he closetsof scared children. The ceremony of 100 ghost stories in Japan that purportedly attracts spirits by sharing scary tales. A popular legend among the theater is that while performing Faust, the play, an actor famously conjured up a genuine demon. Meanwhile angels appear to answer prayers and when Geppeto (sp?) lamented not having a son a blue fairy appeared and brought a puppet to life. (Makes one wonder at the way all stores seem to have abandoned human looking mannequins, but that's a whole other conspiracy theory...) 
  Now I'm not going to argue whether the supernatural exists or how effective such things are, but let's face it, whether it works or not no good comes from that sort of thing. Especially if it is true. But people did and do believe that is how it works and have through most of human history. Faith can move mountains and open a portal to hell. 
  Meanwhile thanks to things like the War of the Worlds Broadcast, the supposed crash at Roswell, and various unexplained phenomenon people have begun to believe in the far more scientific explanation that if unexplained things are happening, it must be aliens. It makes scientific sense to people because we have discovered a great big universe and logically humans and other creatures from Earth cannot be the only living things out there. And if it is alive then unlike some immortal threat from the spirit world, we can actually do something about it. At least that's how people feel. It's an explanation that requires proof, not faith in unknowable powers and if they sometimes crashes well then they are fallible and these weird things can be beaten. Or they turn out to be sexy aliens who fall in love with an earth person. 
  Aliens in space, unlike spirits, can not just hear your thoughts unless they have implanted one of those chips in your neck and even then there's always the foil hat. 
  Honestly people have gotten to the point where we'd welcome aliens monitoring and controlling everything because if they are not we might have to face the terrifying possibility that everything we see happening is being caused by, well, us. 
  So if you want the crazier weird-stuff oriented people to stop murdering virgins so they can get ahead at work, you switch the focus to aliens. Aliens at least do not just pop up if you think about them too much and do not care about your primitive rituals. They do all the same stuff the old monsters did. Control the world from the shadows. Cause strange lights or fires in the sky. Get into your head and control you. Abduct and return you after doing who knows what. Any magical abilities can be explained away as technology beyond our comprehension and natural abilities humans simply do not have, so at least your soul is safe. And possibly real aliens do occasionally visit the planet, though War of the Worlds also gives very good reasons why they would not actually make contact. Humans aside pretty much everything on this planet from the tiniest microbes to the animals and plants and weather and the very air would be trying to kill them from the minute they stepped off the spaceship. Half the time we imagine they melt in water. 
  This brings us to Area 51 and alien sightings. There are no doubt plenty of secret devices out there. There are laws that allow the government to seize dangerous new inventions and recently some guy built a reactor at home and made actual plasma. So there are likely all sorts of strange aircraft. The Stealth Bomber, now well known, was new and unknown once. A black triangle that did not appear on radar. I've seen a UFO myself from very close which was a sphere with a rotating thing around the outside studded with multicolored lights back in Bishop, California in 1989. Big silver ball with part turning around it ringed with oval lights that changed colors. Sucker even made the local papers. 
  Real aliens or not if you want to move people away from trying to summon supernatural creatures the paranormal is a good sidestep. So when people start claiming they see alien spacecraft at the local airbase, which is in fact a top secret base where they test new flying machines, why not use it? Keep them interest. Fly the weirder craft, whether they are actually good or not, where people can see them at times. Get them interested. Then the crazier types who would be trying to summon demons in their bathroom mirror at home instead park a lawn chair at the local gas station and spend the night watching the skies. The real nuts get so worked up they try to hop the fence and are of course immediately arrested for breaking into a military base. 
  Area 51 is a bug zapper. Pretty lights to attract attention and if you get too close, BANG, you're done. Meanwhile "rational" people stop believing in fairies, gods, demons, spirits, and the like. Either stopping them from doing crazy crap to please or control the supernatural or stopping them from calling out and actually summoning supernatural beings if they exist. Win-win. Not 100% effective, some people will always believe, but what is? Aliens meanwhile are unlikely to ever actually land and talk with us or complain about it. If the supernatural exists then you get a lot less people trying to open doorways to the underworld or whatever outside of slumber party games, unless the government has their own plans in that area and thus wants less competition (the US government has had ties to supernatural beliefs since the beginning and it's still evident on the money), and if it's just hooey then you at least keep them from killing people and animals for their various gods. 
  Meanwhile they also get to test new technology an the only witnesses are a bunch of people considered crazy. No room for spies and nobody believes anything they claim to see. And actual spies tend to avoid witnesses.  
  Meanwhile Areas 1 through 507, all the other top secret military bases nobody is allowed on (except maybe Area 52), get a break from the paranoid nutjobs as they are focused on Groom Lake.  

So again, what's YOUR conspiracy theory? Are you with the crazy pillow guy from the bathroom mirror who believes the voting machines are tampered with? Hidden subliminal messages in television broadcast? (Remember, the first thing anyone with mind control technology does is make sure nobody seriously believes in mind control.) Did they infect the chickens with viruses to drive up the price of eggs? Are social media platforms driving children to suicide? Is this post just a way for me to cleverly slip secret messages to my terror cell? Are transgender girls intentionally swapping from boys to women to steal sports scholarships from cis girls? Did they switch broadcast TV signals to HD to keep aliens from replying to our earlier TV broadcasts or just stop them from stealing cable? Do you strongly suspect cats can talk and just choose not to? Or is all of that just a distraction from something else? Is NATO really tracing Santa's route every year? Was a time travelling JFK the second gunman on the grassy knoll? 
  Are the people running the conspiracy competent? If so how do you know about it? If not why are you the only one who knows about it?
  And really if the conspiracy is real, what exactly are you going to do about it?
  What is the difference between a conspiracy and people working together to accomplish a goal without informing or involving you in the process? 

 

Are you in on this conspiracy of yours? Do you wish you were?
  

"The truth is out there, but the lies are inside your head." ----Terry Pratchett

 

[Clayton]

No replies You're all against me. 

 

 

 

[Animedragon]

12 hours ago, Clayton said:

No replies You're all against me.

Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

[Clayton]

On 10/8/2024 at 7:58 AM, Animedragon said:

Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

So what's your conspiracy? Surely you have some belief that somebody is working together to manipulate something. MCDonald's just sued the beef industry for price gouging while they're being sued for putting sawdust in the meat...