It's good to collect your thoughts. Even though I'm not a smoker, I've got to admit that does sound really relaxing. ^^ I never got the chance to go to college because I did so poorly in school I just never got past 7th grade. If I did though, I could see taking the same elective. I loved drawing abstract things, but always wished I could grasp how to draw better things. We come across an old drawing or 2 of mine sometimes which is like a blast from the past. Then we lose it again. lol Ok, but I just say sorry a lot. Even when someone's sick I say I'm sorry. It's kinda weird, but jokingly annoys mom. lol We like to laugh about it whenever I say it if she's feeling well enough. Older sisters rock!!! ^^ Sis and I were very much the same way. She'd always make me laugh, and always knew how to without fail just crack me up. lol She was a great big sister while she was still here. I like to think she's still here though, in some form or another, watching over the me and the folks. I am sorry for your loss too, we came close to losing dad after a heartattack but luckily they were able to bring him back. Now I spend as much time around mom and dad as I can get away with. I've got a PS3 but don't really play it since I use my Switch so I can sit in the front room with both of them and just game on that. I was really fragile when he was in the hospital... mom would tell me how he was doing and I would just fall apart. So I feel bad she couldn't tell me things about it without me basically falling apart. Maybe that's a part of autism, the intense emotions? It's always like my emotions are a nerve, triggered by very small things. My sincerest condolences regarding your dad. I still dread the day mom's or dad's time comes.

When I tried my first cigar, I cut it too far up from the head and the wrapper leaf completely unraveled. Couldn't keep it evenly lit and didn't get the best experience because the wrapper was off. After asking the tobacconist how to properly cut and light a new one, I haven't had too many issues with them since, unless they just don't have good construction or something like that. I personally enjoy smoking them because they force me to slow down and offer me a chance to collect my thoughts or just think about anything I want to. You can't rush through a cigar, or you might end up green around the gills. The way this world moves so fast-paced, it's a much-welcome respite. Oddly enough, I was never a cigarette smoker. Always found cigarettes to be revolting. A lot of people that smoke cigars were once cigarette smokers. You're right, though, everyone has their thing and I too am all for them doing what they enjoy. I took a drawing class years ago as an elective in community college, and sort of learned the basics of drawing there, but we mostly used charcoal pencils. These days, I'm a bit more interested in learning to draw with pen and ink. I'm not always patient myself, but ink definitely requires you to have some. You've done nothing to apologize for, my friend. If writing helps you, then write as much as you want to, it's no problem at all. I'm sorry for your loss. I have a younger brother, and he and I are practically inseparable. I don't know what I'd do if I lost him. It's been difficult enough for us and our mom since dad died last year. And it's not weird at all, I do that to some degree myself. That and keeping a semi-daily journal.

When I was a kid I tried a cigar, got a mouth full of the tobacco inside and was spitting it out for a while. I never lit it though, that experience was more than enough. lol I'm a fan of everyone doing their own thing though, like I say, to each their own. I'm glad you enjoy them. It's tough finding the simple things to enjoy these days, climate change, covid, things can become overwhelming if you think about them too much. Which, unfortunately I have a tendency to do. But yeah, gotta go through the rough start with drawing to get proficient at it, but I never stayed with it long enough to really have my drawings amount to anything special. I'm not that patient. >< Plus I only drew abstract designs, not really people. The people I used to draw were more DBZ style than anything else because I was a huge fan of the show as a kid. It's never good news, but it's good to have a reason for being so different. We only recently discovered it though. I had speech therapy as a kid though so that helped me articulate better, but I'm not very functional otherwise. I'm deathly afraid of what will happen when mom and dad (who I'm living with because I can't work) pass away. I even had problems in special education at school... just makes the future scary. And without the safety net of my sister, the future is even scarier. None of the other family is in the picture, so it's just me, mom, dad, and our kitty Zena. I think she's 3 years old now. Maybe 4. I'm sorry, I get carried away when writing sometimes. lol I don't mean to overwhelm you with all of this or anything, I've just got a lot on my mind... I wish my sister was still here. She passed away in 2008 at the age of 26, just before her 27th birthday. I was 19. I still have conversations with her though in my head. I picture what she'd say and it just kind of develops into a conversation. It's weird, but... comforting. ^^

Nah, nothing out of the ordinary. Might go visit a couple friends later this evening and enjoy a cigar with them, but apart from that, just planning to stay in afterwards. Trying to get back into drawing a little, but it's in that phase where everything I put on paper is total crap... which, I guess, is a necessary evil to get through. Sorry to hear you're having a rough time. One of my close friends found out in the last year or so that she's autistic. I don't know exactly know how severe hers is, but she seems to be doing ok with it as far as I can tell. I'm sure she has some rough times with it too, though.

Just lamenting being on the spectrum... I'd give almost anything to be normal. Otherwise I've been hanging in there. Thanks for asking. ^^ Any plans going into this week?

Nice! I don't suppose there's any mead or ale to go around is there? I was under the impression you were a nihilist at one point. I read the poem about nihilism you posted last year in the writing forums. I'm an agnostic atheist myself, so I can understand about the religious hate aspect. It's an interesting experience living in the bible belt and being on that side of the fence. And by interesting, I mean annoying. Thankfully, I know enough about religion to "play along" and blend in when needed, but when someone gets really mouthy over it, I try to put some distance between me and them as quickly as I can. It often feels like six pints of blood have been drained from me when I have to put on that kind of act. I try to be respectful of others' beliefs and views, but I draw the line when they try to shove them down my throat. Even when I was a christian years ago, people like that used to aggravate me to no end. Society sucks. It doesn't appear to be improving either. People act like when someone disagrees with them, they are personally attacking them. That, and the overall mode of thought seems to be "me and mine, and f**k everyone else!" Notice I wrote "me" before "mine". In that order. So many people act like they are owed something. Everybody has a grievance of some kind or another. I don't know why things are the way they are, how they got here or how to fix them. I just know I'm quite tired of having to go along with it all. I generally try to keep an open mind. For me, when it comes to people at least, it's more or less about mutual respect. We may have differences, but that should not stop us from respecting each other. If you are a decent human being and you show me respect, I will do the same to you. If you are hateful, violent, abusive, disingenuous, or malicious, I will have as little to nothing to do with you as I possibly can. Not too shabby. Been busy with work. How about yourself?

How have you all been? Hanging in there I hope.

Do I seem open minded? I try to come across that way, but sometimes I never really convey what I try to. Not for lack of trying, it's this damn autism.

I keep getting light-headed, so that's dampening my mood. I have a seizure disorder, so when it acts up it's a big source of frustration. At least that's what I'm venting about today.

I've been up for only a little while, so the voices are really all I have to complain about so far. I'm sure that'll change though. Seems like sooner or later, something always puts my mood into a bad way. How about you? What's set you off today, or just really tipped your mood into the negative?

I hear you. I still watch it though for the odd news report that's relevant. Kind of have to since we live in a fire hazard kind of area, so we need to stay on top of forest fires nearby, and watching the news is a good way to do that. I've also got a friend in Lithuania, very close to Ukraine territory but luckily Lithuania is a part of the United Nations so I think they'll be safe, but I still like to keep tabs on the war happening in the Ukraine with Russia. It may sound kind of cliche, but I really do wish everyone would just put aside their differences and find some common ground with each other.

Yessir!!!! I really do agree, I personally don't have interest watching the news anymore, because of how infuriated people seem to get about politics, today's trends, and conflicts going on. Don't get me wrong - a war happening is VERY important, but, to me, the news also focuses on other things to just blabber, like for Ex. if Taylor Swift broke up with her 100th boyfriend, yknow? (Sorry to the Taylor fans, no hate!) Not only that, being around people and being VERY close to adulthood, I genuinely feel like I'm not ready to handle it! People make me stressed, and understanbly, the patience aspect is truly grueling.

I didn't realize you were a Satanist, but it explains why your music sounds so dark. Don't get me wrong, I love the way your music and mixes sound, so that isn't a complaint or critique. What I think of society... well, it seems like everyone's a little too willing to fly off the handle at really insignificant things. Now, I don't know why that is, but it's a real shame. I consider myself very open-minded, but people with no tolerance really wear me out. Of course tolerating things requires patience, but not everyone has a lot of that. I just think it's a shame that needs to be fixed. I mean... somehow...

Welcome to The Tavern! This is the place where you can have casual convos with people, discussing any topic. (Yes this is a pic from Skyrim ) Enjoy yourself, and let's get a conversation started, shall we? So how are we feeling about today's society? I know, quite a deep conversation starter, but let's not get controversial either - this is all just casual talk. Today's society, to me, seems pretty chaotic right now, I've been dealing with a lot of religious hate, based on me being a Satanist, and it's quite infuriating! I like people with an open mind, and nowadays, I feel like some people have lost that trait, and it's quite evident how it makes others feel. Do you guys believe you're open-minded? I believe having an open mind, you can reflect more, and be logical in a street sense, understanding people, not just based on what their personality is, but as who they are as a whole. What do you guys think?

Huh. If I was going to try the genre I'd try that one.

Slice-Of-Life Romance!

I have to admit I've never heard of it, but I love how the atmosphere of it looks just from those pics. What's the genre of it?

It's quite a sad anime, but overall, still an anime I watch to wind down to... 3-Gatsu No Lion (March Comes in like a Lion)

So, I've just been wondering if there's any anime you like to watch to relax? Like a go-to anime. For me it's probably Chrono Crusade. Joshua and Rosette remind me of me and my sis'. How about you?

Greetings! This is the first monthly newsletter, written on 1/20/2020 (Written with the DD/MM/YYYY format). Currently, the weather where I'm located is 34 degrees Fahrenheit, with 62% humidity and 5 mph winds with no precipitation. For the club news, there really isn't any. Thanks for reading...