Part_time_anime

Maybe these people aren't actually friends but acquaintances?  I personally have few friends, some pals, and then acquaintances.  Friends to me are people I would be loyal to, even at my own peril and downfall.  I trust them explicitly and they trust me the same.  Pals are those people in my network that I enjoy being around but I don't hang out with and I wouldn't have the level of loyalty to them that I would to a friend.  Acquaintances are everyone else and I am beholden to none.  To me, a friend is treasure, priceless and worth dying for.  If the person isn't worth dying for to you and also wouldn't die for you....trust me, that person isn't your friend.

I'd tell you a story about a person I thought was my friend who called me a monster once (she had been under the influence of a creep.  Long story there, won't bore you with it.) but it is far too long for anyone to want to read.  Just know, that person wasn't the same kind of loyal as I was so I dropped them.  Reassess your "friends" and decide if you really think of them as friends before you beat yourself up over this.

@Beocat I understand what you mean. I am trying to say that I am actually not a good friend. Whilst my friends do so much for me even take the blame for me most of the time. I always back off in bad situations and not help them out because it might effect me bad. But they will definitely will not back off in my situation. And i can say that because I used to be in the same level as them where we had the same interest getting in the same trouble and doing things. Now I just used them to get what I want. I don’t know how to word it. 

It was actually someone in the party who came to me and said it. It was actually one of my side friends that I had dropped time ago. I hope he doesn’t read this. Well I doubt he even watches anime.