Unbroken Experiment

Leave Out All The Rest - Linkin Park

Thank you, my friend. So am I. ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^

I actually can say what my resolution is without sounding crazy. lol My New Year's Resolution is to not be as eager to get myself killed to see my big sister again like I was before. I have friends to live for now, so I'm going to do everything in my power to keep myself alive for them after Mom passes away. When big sis' was here I didn't worry about the future so much, but now that she's gone so is my safety net, so I used to worry a lot about and think a lot about the future and how dark and filled with unknowns and dreading it was now. Until, that is, I befriended the people that have been kind enough to be my friend. I was debating whether or not to say this publicly given how grim and serious the subject is, but overall it's a positive New Year's Resolution. ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ I have a reason to keep living after mom passes away thanks to those who I call friends. ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ Thank you, my friends. < 3

No, I had time to relax and I don't actually want my account deleted or anything like that. I was in a heightened emotional state infected with paranoia, so I was kind of freaking out at some things I thought were happening that sound completely ridiculous now that I think about them with a level head. @Myouya, I think I'd prefer to stay on AF with this account, so nevermind about the request. I'm going to try to change the first post if I can, too. lol Omg, I don't know how any of my friends put up with my crazy butt. XD I want to keep using this account though, so, I don't want any deletion to happen. Sorry if I stress y'all out with my unstableness. >< >< >< ;.; ;.;

Okies, I changed my mind, I'm keeping this account still. lmfao Sorry to waste the space with this post. >< >< >< >< ;.;

I've got a resolution, but I don't think I'll be posting it. Maybe big sis' knows what it is, but anyone else would just think I'm crazy.

I've been confused about whether or not what I'm hearing is happening in this Hell-house, but apparently I'll never be able to determine if it is or not. So, just another day of gradually losing my mind, I guess... I thank whatever or whoever there is to thank for escapism, that's for sure. ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^

A release of frustration and/or anger.

I fully agree. x.x I even considered asking mom to let me have a pet turtle, but now I'm not so sure I actually want a turtle as a pet. x.x x.x >< ;.; ;.;

Remnant

Rain Shadow

Tequila

Exhausted, tired, and half-dead after all of this time. Time will tell if my paranoia is really paranoia or an act of sabotage in this goddamned Hell-house.

Thanks~ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^

Yu-Gi-Oh! Legacy of the Duelist: Link Evolution I've come up with a new plan in the game after learning that 2 Gravekeeper's cards were based on Marik and 2 of the same archetype were based on Ishizu. I'll be gathering the Gravekeeper's cards from Grandpa Muto's booster pack, buuuuut I've hardly bought any of his booster packs so far, so it might take a while. XD I'm up for the challenge~~ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^

I hope you get better soon. I still remember how bad a cold makes people feel which breaks my heart knowing you have one. ;.; ;.; ;.; ;.; ;.; Hopefully the cold you have will go away ASAP. >< >< >< ;.; ;.; You probably needed the sleep since you were able to sleep for so long Saturday~~ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^

Thanks, man!! So, I found out while reading up on Marik and Ishizu that they each had actual cards made based on them: Gravekeeper's Descendant and Gravekeeper's Oracle were both based on Marik, Gravekeeper's Priestess and Gravekeeper's Shaman were both based on Ishizu, so, I decided to change things around a bit with Odion and how I displayed the characters and artwork. The final result is what you see. He uses Temple of the Kings in preparation for summoning Mystical Beast of Serket in the Yu-Gi-Oh! games I've played (that I remember) and he used that combo in the anime as well to try to summon a mere copy of the Egyptian God Card The Winged Dragon of Ra which got him struck down since he was not only one of the few that could wield an Egyptian God Card, but the Ra card in his deck wasn't even the original. Unfortunately, sometimes I tend to forget about Odion which is a shame because he's a polite, honorable character as well as the adopted 3rd sibling of the Ishtar descendants Marik and Ishizu. Odion was 25 in the series. Ishizu was 20 in the series. Marik was 16 in the series. (I just thought their ages were interesting to find out.) So, in order to include Odion in the new GFX projects I got the card art for both of the cards he's mainly known for using (aside from a legion of trap cards and trap monsters). I wanted both the characters and the card art to be visible, so I decided to do it the way I did it. If only big sis' had ended up with the guy that all of her friends and us thought she'd end up with instead of how it went, she'd still be with us. She would've been treated so much better, too, because that friend of hers was incredibly polite and friendly. So, I decided to include Odion because that guy friend of big sis's would've been my brother-in-law, which is the closest thing I could think of to still being a brother since Odion was adopted, but both Marik and Ishizu treated him like he was one of them. We would've treated big sis's guy friend everyone thought she'd end up with like our own, too. So, I guess it's my tribute to big sis' and how I wish things worked out differently. Oh, and Ishhizu being Marik's older sister really hits home for me, too. ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^

I'm working on another GFX project featuring Marik and Ishizu. I'm considering adding Odion because, although he was adopted, he was always treated like any other family member, so they fully welcomed him into their family. It reminds me of... someone that both mom and I wish with every fiber of our being that big sis' has ended up with instead of the monster in human form that was her ex-fiancee... So, I'm trying to find a render of Odion with at LEAST a smirk or even a faint smile, but I haven't found one of him with one smile so far. lol I mean, I know the events of the Battle City Tournament were no laughing matter, but omg, I'm starting to wonder if Odion ever even smiled in the anime at all. o.0 I dunno, I might just crop a smile from a different picture of him and paste it over his mouth with a render that he at least doesn't look angry in. lol It'd take some searching, but that's the closest anime family situation I've seen in the anime I remember watching. So, idk, I might copy and paste a smile on Odion, but he did always seem like a pretty serious dude, too. I'll have to experiment and see what I'll be happy with using regarding Odion renders.

Acid Snow

I feel unsure about more things than I ever wanted to be. Feels like I'm tired in my soul, but that's probably an exaggeration. Maybe not, I don't really know. I hate when I get this way because I second and triple guess just about everything. I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet, but I think I'm getting a little sleepy, so I might get some sleep to escape this uncertain thinking I'm stuck in. Maybe it'll work, maybe not. It's never really been all one or the other whenever I wake up from getting sleep.

I haven't been as certain as I used to be that I'll see big sis' when I pass away even though I'm still believing in my own belief system. I hear someone (or something) telling me I'm going to Hell so often at least every other day, if not every day. Because of that, as mom has said to me on more than one occasion: "If you're told something for long enough you start to believe it." Do I believe I'm actually going to some kind of lake of eternal fire or some damnation? No, but I used to have absolute confidence in my own beliefs and just finding out for myself what's on the other side.. but after hearing this whole "you're going to Hell, you're not going to see your big sister again." for however long I've been hearing it from whoever or whatever is saying it I'm not as sure as I was about being reunited with big sis' and the rest of the family... either way I'll find out for myself. Taking the chance to meet my family again in the hereafter is worth gambling whether or not I do get reunited with them or I get tortured in unimaginable ways or I end up an Earthbound soul and just in a lost limbo. I'll take the chance even if there's the smallest possible chance that I'll meet my family in what afterlife there may be. Going to Hell - The Pretty Reckless Hopeless - Breaking Benjamin (Sasuke vs Naruto AMV) So Called Life - Three Days Grace

It kind of did, but at the same time I didn't want to reduce the render's opacity so they'd stand out more while still showing the card art backgrounds so that neither the renders nor the card art would be reduced as far as being able to tell one from the other because I didn't want to reduce the opacity of either one. When I make a decision like that it's difficult for anyone to keep me from sticking to what I decided to do. ^^; ^^; ^^; ^^; ^^; I know I got that from Mom and the step-father's behavior over the years given how much I paid attention to how both of them acted. I'm not sure if having a trait of such stubbornness is good or bad, but I'm not sure how to get rid of that trait either. lol >< >< >< ^^; ^^;