Does liking someone with a different view on the world change your view more then a friend?

[flambo]

before i start, sorry about the long title. Long titles annoy me a lot cus i need to know what the post is about and some places cut off the title >-<"

 

I used to have a friend who was quite possibly the most positive guy I have known in secondary school, now a lot of my group was pretty much the depressed kids who cared too much about education and he was the positive guy who got us through the stress with a few others, this has no point but to be used as an example to bare with me.

 

now a week later after finals week he met this girl who he said he liked a lot and ofcourse they start dating, these girls are commonly known as "emo girls" on the internet you know those girls with scene hair. anyway she was like the rest of the group a very upset walking time bomb that needed to have someone positive in her life.

 

well I met up with the group a while after finals and he was depressed I heard he had been going to the doctor and his mother was concerned and scared for his well being and I was wondering how much of an impact came from his girlfriend cus it was obviously the only recent thing to change in his life but i wanted to know if he was close to this state already or if we were driving him into this sadness also.

 

personally i think the girl changed it since it was a pretty sudden change but i was wondering if u think friends effect you more then a person you are dating and (this one is more for the single people) do u think if u were dating a girl or boy u like would it change u?

 

personally i think friends change me quite a bit i wont pick the same type of stuff they do in games when we play together and i dont go for people they dislike cus i dont want to cause friction is friendship, is it like this for you ?

 

so many questions to answer sorry

[flambo]

another example would be liking something completely different to others and then dating someone who likes the exact oposite and then liking it to be a better suit to them?

 

so i liked classical music for a very long time but i dated someone who liked rock but now i like both if that is a good example

 

theres too many ways people can effect you

[Mystic CRO]

I would disagree. We are all different. At least i would disagree concerning someone changing you.

Absurdity..only you can change yourself. Allowing someone else to change you, just shows your weak mentality...sorry if my words are a bit harsh. But thats my personal opinion, you may or may not agree with it.

 

Allowing someone to change you...can you really call yourself YOU anymore then in that case.? We are who we are, for what we are..if you believe you should change for YOURSELF...make something better about you, thats fine. Changing something about you on your own will and because you want to ..is fine. But allowing someone else to change you..is absurd.

[Evil Bunny of Doom]

these girls are commonly known as "emo girls" on the internet you know those girls with scene hair.

*drools over the majestic hairstyles*

 

now, on a serious note, your friend let his gf get to him too much. If she has such a negative impact on his life he should break up with her (tbh he should've done that long ago). In these kinds of relationships, it's the 'positive' one that needs to have a greater influence, otherwise things will get messy. I don't know what she may have said or done to him but for his own sake, he should get out of here. Now, keep in mind she might not doing it on purpose... but if her reactions and the way of dealing with stressfull situations is kinda like: 'life sucks, i wanna die' then that could have made your friend feel helpless and weak as well

[Midnight Faolan]

Well, it really depends on the person. I mean, some people can be incredibly influenced by both friends and partners, but in most cases I can't be influenced by either. That could just be the part of me that is stubborn about my beliefs and I stick to them, but he could've easily been influenced by both. But also, some of the happiest people are the saddest, and maybe the influence from everybody around him caused his emotions to come out. But there can be so many factors, that it's hard to answer without him giving his own answer.

[Frost]

I believe that some people are very easily influenced by other peoples opinions and actions, even emotions. But I can only honestly say that because I use to be that kind of person when I was younger. I believe the term may be "empath." Now, I'm not saying it's some paranormal bs... But some people are highly empathetic towards other people and at times, pick up on their feelings or behavior. I am a very emotional person. And because of this, when someone is sad or depressed around me, I tend to pick up on it and subconsciously harbor those same kinds of feelings. However, I can say that it's all a mental game and only you can truly make yourself happy or sad. It's a state of mind.

 

I guess my point is, I believe, yes, you can be influenced by a partner or friend... BUT, only you really have the power to change. No one can tell you how to feel or act. It's a willingness to be that way.

[brycec]

Nobody really influenced me to change or anything, friend or otherwise?

 

Things that have changed my views on things, or made me more enlightened, was great stories and such, but that is about the extent.

 

Of course, it can be somewhat possible, since we actually have mind control techniques that can make people change their views gradually, but even then, the person is already weakened by something.

[shironeko]

Well actually it's really hard to explain but in relationship people change often.

 

If your friend liked that girl so much that he didn't want to loose her, then I think she changed him unconsciously. Maybe he started thinking and doing things just like the girl because they belong together... and you know, if you like somebody so much you don't want to argue with him/her about things... because most of the times people think that thinking difference is bad and they feel like they don't belong to the same group. And group is very important for people; it's like I love to be surrounded with another anime fans because I feel better and I don't feel like a disinherited.

He just really wanna be with her so he accepted and agreed with her in a lot of things that maybe he didn't think like that before. So for me, it means that the girl had the stronger personality (?). But I think that if you think that he isn't like that before then he will figure it out by time.. so maybe they'll have some problems in their relationship.

 

So overall, most people if reaaallly want to be accepted in a group or by a person they will do anything for it; they can change. But if that person or group isn't there anymore they are going to go back to their old self. ^-^ This is what I think and actually experienced in life.

 

Just as you said above: "personally i think friends change me quite a bit i wont pick the same type of stuff they do in games when we play together and i dont go for people they dislike cus i dont want to cause friction is friendship, is it like this for you ?"

 

= This is with their relationship. It seems he really wants to meet her expectations so he changed. He doesn't want to cause any problems in their relationship. That's all.

 

But I do think that if you like each other and have different opinions in things it is okay because we are not the same, everybody is different and should be; that's why life is nice and colorful. Just always be honest with yourself and others so you're going to be more respected.

 

I don't know if this writing is clear.. x) I'm still not the best with English but I'm trying my best. I hope this help you understand more.