Why so serious?

[existentiallylostdumbell]

I'm tired of being serious and acting like a mature individual, it's such a pain in the ass. Ok, so I should make a thread hmmm. I know say the most ridiculous thing you can think of, but do It all in caps lock, I'll start.

 

ONE DAY MIKE DECIDED TO WEAR SOCKS AND SANDALS, IT WAS COLD OUTSIDE HE REASONED AND SO HE THOUGHT HE COULD GET AWAY WITH IT. SO OFF HE VENTURED, DOWN TO THE CONVENIENCE STORE, THE GREATEST PIG THE HUMAN RACE HAD EVER KNOWN. ALICE, A WOMAN WHOM HE WAS BRIEFLY ACQUAINTED, AND WHOM ALTHOUGH HE DID NOT KNOW IT, HAD A CRUSH ON HIM, CAME WALKING DOWN THE STREET IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. SHE SMILED AND WAVED AS SHE USUALLY DID, HE IN TURN, BUT THEN, AN EVENT WHICH ALICE WOULD NEVER FORGET, AND ONE WHICH WOULD COME TO SHAPE THE REST OF HER LIFE OCCURRED. SHE LOOKED DOWN, AND AS SHE DID SO, SHE SAW IT, HE WAS WEARING SOCKS AND SANDALS, A SHARP AGONIZED WIMPER ESCAPED HER LIPS, FOLLOWED BY A TUMULTUOUS WAIL. WHY GOD, WHY? SHE INTONED, FALLING TO HER KNEES, UNCONCEIVING EYES STREAMING WITH TEARS, PROSTRATE BEFORE THE SKY. MIKE MADE HIS WAY TOWARDS HER, ALICE LOOKED BACK DOWN AND LOOKED AT MIKE, AS SHE DID SO, SHE REALISED THAT, MIKE, WAS NOT THE MAN SHE THOUGHT HE WAS. THAT EVERY FEELING, EVERY THOUGHT SHE HAD EVER HAD OF HIM WAS A SHAM. SHE TURNED AND RAN WILD EYED BEFORE MIKE COULD GET CLOSE TO HER. PUZZLED, MIKE STOOD ARM OUTSTRETCHED AND WATCHED HER LEAVE. FROWNING AND MORE THAN A LITTLE CONFUSED MIKE CONTINUED ON HIS WAY TO THE CONVENIENCE STORE.

 

Ok, I'm lazy, so if you want me to finish it, comment stupid shit below.

OH GOD, THE STRAWBERRIES, THE PENGUINS ARE EATING THE STRAWBERRIES!

[ItsSammy]

[brycec]

I'll probably give it try, but not too sure how well this will go.

 

I WOULD LIKE TO BEAR MY TESTIMONY THAT I SHARED THE GOSPEL...OF MY FIST WITH 20 GRIZZLY BEARS AND CAME OUT UNSCATHED. THE BEARS THEN STARTED MEDIATING LIKE BUDHIST MONKS UNTIL THEY DIED FROM BELIEVING TOO MUCH IN A HIGHER POWER.

[SAO LILDOOP]

A LITLE ICKLE ONE, EH? HEHEHEHEHE, IT THINK IT COULD MAYBE CLIMB THE HALF OF THAT REFRIGERATOR, EH? METHINK IT MAY, EH? *CLIMBS* NOOOOOOOOOO!!! *FALLS* YYYYYEEESSSSSSS!!!! *STANDS UP* *SILENCE* WATER YOU LOOKIN' AT? WHO, ME? N-N-N-NOTHING! WHO IS TALKING? I AM! I AM THE REFIRGENATOR! *CHOPS THEM UP* BUT DID I DO THAT? *WALKS AWAY* *PEEKS HEADS UP* HHHEHEHEEHEHEHE! *WAT?! WUT!/ HUH!!?? NANI!!!!???* TENGU TENGU!