So, let’s get one thing straight I don’t believe they faked the goddamned moon landing. Sorry I cursed but it’s so frustrating. That is the main thing everyone thinks I think about is the fake moon landing conspiracy. That and lizard people. Well to their credit I can neither confirm the lizard people. Mostly because there’s to much fake evidence and joke evidence on the topic for just an average high school girl to make heads or tails out of the issue. The reason I don’t believe in the fake moon landing because of the scope of it. Too much money, to many moving parts, to many people for it to be faked so perfectly and with relative believably. These are all factors that a good conspiracy theorist must consider in an investigation.
I didn’t mean to become known as the “conspiracy girl” when I entered high school. It’s just that I had already been known as the “weird girl” before, that wasn’t any fun either. I understand if you don’t believe me. I wouldn’t believe me. In fact, if I were you, I would have several working possibilities as to what’s really going on. What if I am an unreliable narrator? What if I’m just saying that I didn’t what to be known as the conspiracy girl when I was seeking out that title all along? How do you know if any of what I’m saying is true? What is truth? How do you know if anything is true? Don’t worry or feel like you’re being mean if you don’t believe me but please listen to the fact and evidence as I see them. You can make your choice from there.
Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve had trouble with people. Everything involving people. Talking to people, working with people, understanding people. My dad said I would grow out of it one day and be a popular young lady just like my mom but that doesn’t seem to have happened yet. I look normal enough. I have brown hair with brown eyes and dress in very modest clothing. Some would say I dress to modest. My dad has been put in the position of being the first dad ever to have to say “Hey, don’t you think that skirt is a little to long?” but I digress. I look painfully normal, you wouldn’t be able to pick me out of a police line-up. Yet I’ve always felt alien. Other people also see me as alien because they tend to pull away from me. This is why I’ve never really had anyone I would call a friend in my life. I didn’t mind it at first. I was used to doing whatever I wanted alone but the loneliness slowly started to tear away at me to point were I would start crying randomly in the middle of the day. This also did not help my situation. Instead of joining a gang, social trend, or something self-destructive like that. I decided to try and study my way into a social life. I must have spent hundreds of hours at the library reading thick books about how to socialize, how to have manners, and generally how be human. This didn’t help my socializing issue very much by the time I was in 3rd grade I was reading (and probably speaking) on a college level. When I tried to implement what I learned in the books in real life situation. I only got responses like “Why do you talk so funny?” or “Why do you ask so many weird questions?” This happened a few times before I realized that my studies made my entire situation worse. Some of the adults called me a “smart girl” but in reality I knew nothing. Part of me thinks I would have been better off joining a gang. I guessed I would be stuck as a weird girl forever no matter what I did.
One day around the time I started middle school my mom left. She just vanished. No arguments, no divorce, and no signs that my mom and dad were growing apart. She just left this plan of existence one day. I tried to ask my dad what happened to her, but he said he knew nothing. This didn’t bother me at first but just like the pain of having no one to talk to the pain of being abandon by my mom grew and grew till it over whelmed me. I had read somewhere that time healed all wounds. Why did this never seem to be the case for me? Why did it seem like over time my wounds festered and grew till the only option I had to save myself would be to amputate? But I digress. I started to look for answers. I guess you could say this was my first conspiracy. My dad said he didn’t know anything, but I had the sinking feeling he was hiding something from me. My dad works as a scientist for a lab specializing in plant science for various functions. He’s nearly at the top of his field and is constantly traveling. When mom left, I was at home completely alone most of the time. That left me plenty of time to look for clues unhindered. I tried to narrow my search to things that had mom’s name on them. I wasn’t making much progress at first so I want to the library to try and look up investigative strategies . First it started as a reluctant search for answers. I went into my dad’s room and looked through his things with a bit of shame in my heart but honestly it soon became fun. It was fun looking around for answers that other people didn’t want you to know. It was fun looking through information, tossing out the irrelevant data, taking notes, and leaving without a trace. I guess I was getting the same feeling some kids get when they watch an R rated movie without their parents knowing. Even if the movie was terrible if felt cool to be watching it. ‘You see what I’m doing know? Some people don’t want me to do it. Isn’t that cool?’ were the kinds of thoughts I was having. I didn’t account for all the variables though. One of the variables was the fact that if I kept going into my dad’s room and messing with his stuff over and over again eventually, he would notice. My dad was a pretty sharp guy. It took him only three weeks to notice what was going on and he was mad. Very mad. I still remember how hard he swung my door open.
“Linda, have you been messing with my things?”
“No.” I told him and looked at the wall. I’m such a bad lier.
“The stuff in my room is messed up. Do you know how important those documents are?”
“Sorry.”
He apparently didn’t like that answer because he walked up to me and hit me in the head. It hurt. Not that much compared to other times my mom or my dad had hit me, but my eyes were watering up this time.
“You could go to jail for looking at them. If I called the police right now, they would take you to jail.”
“For what?”
“For Invasion of privacy.”
“Sorry, I was just wondering what happened to mom.”
The word ‘invasion ’ made me think of aliens again which caused me to smirk a little. Now my face had this off putting teary eyed smirking combination.
“Do you think this is funny?”
He hit me in the head again.
“No.”
“If I ever catch you in my room again, I’m tearing your ass apart, you need to know your place.”
With that he slammed my door closed.
After that day he always locked me out of his room. It, kind of feels like he locked me out of his life in general. Mom’s disappearance hasn’t seemed to affect him much. If anything, it’s given him one less stressful thing to worry about. He can focus more on his work now. Sometimes if feels like he wishes that I would also suddenly disappear so he can be completely free. I also wish I would just disappear sometimes, so we have that in common. Also, after that day I never stopped trying to solve conspiracy theories. After my first attempt to find the truth failed miserably, I jumped at the chance to redeem myself in my own eyes. I don’t really have any special desire for truth or any special feelings about helping people although if I do happen to help someone that’s nice. I just really love conspiracies. That’s all there is to it.
Which brings me to my current situation. When I entered high school I figured I still wouldn’t be able to make any friends, but at least I could go unnoticed. I would just drift casually through high school with out anyone noticing it. My love for conspiracies theories had been a moderately kept secret. I never really went out of my way to hide it, but I didn’t go around telling everyone about it either. I didn’t really know it was so strange at the time. It was just a hobby to me and nothing more. Some people play sports, some people collect stamps and I research conspiracies. Yeah. If I had known other people would have thought it was strange, I would have put greater effort into hiding it. I wouldn’t have done things like ask people opinions about different theories at lunch or looked up information in the school computer lab. That’s always been my problem though. Not considering all the variables. There is always something I forget to consider. Some angle I forget to look at. That’s the hardest part of any conspiracy.
Now still nobody talks to me but now it’s not because they don’t notice me it’s because I’m officially considered a social out-cast. They never say anything to my face unless I try to talk to them in which I’m promptly greeted with “go away weirdo” and that awkward smile but I hear them. At the bus stop, in the bathroom, in the cafeteria all the time. I hear them talking to themselves about me. Things like “She’s so creepy.” Or “She’s such a turn off.” Or my favorite “She’s going to try to kill us.” I had no idea what to do at this point, so I just did nothing. Doing nothing is a sound plan overlooked by a lot of people. Doing nothing can be the best plan sometimes. I just acted like I didn’t notice anything and stopped all conspiracy activity in school. I figured they would get bored and forget about me eventually. They did not. It actually got worse. A lot worse. It first happened in gym class. We were playing basketball. I was doing terrible as expected. I suck at team sports but the coach said everyone had to play. I was running down the side of the court trying not to get in anyone’s way when I felt two hand plant firmly on my back and push me down. My chest smacked against the wooden gym floor since I didn’t stop myself. The coach blew the whistle and stopped the game.
“What happened.” He said.
“Someone pushed me.” I told him while looking around I couldn’t tell who did it.
“Did someone see that?” The entire gym shook their heads no or said no.
“Yes, they did.” I said more exasperated than I probably should have.
The entire gym shook their heads and said no harder.
“You must have tripped or something.” The coach said then he blew the whistle to continue.
My chest hurt, not only because I fell on my breast, which didn’t help but because I was completely humiliated. After being so fascinated by conspiracies I was now the victim of a school wide conspiracy to make me look like an idiot. I could have laughed if I didn’t feel the overwhelming need to cry. I just stood on the court while the coach walked away and everyone started playing again. I could see some of the people on the bench smirking. They really started giggling when I stormed out of the gym. I didn’t come back for the rest of class. I just cried in the hallway next to the bathroom.
In the days following the pushing continued. I think the people around the school made it a sort of game. One person would push me to the ground run, then everyone around would pretend they didn’t see anything. It was a very basic conspiracy, but an effective one. It seemed like the entire school was in on it even the teachers. Either that or they were stupid enough to think I was constantly tripping over nothing, or maybe they didn’t care.
A strange game of cat and mouse started with me and my class mates. I would constantly be looking over my shoulder to see if anyone got to close. I avoided being in large crowds whenever possible. I took alternate routes when I walked home everyday, I didn’t care that it took much longer I just told myself I was finally getting some exercise and some sun. I even ate lunch in the bathroom to avoid having to sit close to people at lunch time. Even though they still managed to get me a few times I feel like avoided the brunt of it. That’s how I spent my entire first year of high school.
I spent that summer distracting myself with my work. I even set up a few conspiracy maps with red string and print outs. So far, I found several sloppily covered up murders of high-power crime bosses; several people who have been pronounced legally dead that are very much alive. I even set up a blog where I post my findings. Even though looking at conspiracies theories has caused me so much trouble I can’t give it up. I love it. It’s the only thing I love in life.
The second year of high school I hoped that people had finally forgotten about me. I walked to the bus stop and waited.
“Is that that girl?” I heard someone say behind me.
“Yeah she’s so creepy.” Another answered.
They both giggled.
They haven’t forgotten. Don’t these people have anything better to do. It didn’t really bother me that much this time. If I avoid everyone like I usually do there wouldn’t be a problem. Aside from the problem that is the problem. You get it.
Later that day we had literature class. It was my favorite subject and so far, my favorite class. My favorite class that was taught by my favorite teacher. Mr. Folly had a full head of gray hair and kind green eyes. He was one of those teachers who stuck to the lesson plan as little as possible. Most classes ended up like long for conversations than a usual class. I enjoyed lessening to them even though I didn’t really participate. Pretty sure there wasn’t a single girl in the class that didn’t at least have a little crush on him. Myself included, but I also had a feeling like he was hiding something. No ones that perfect. A slew of astranged ex-wifes maybe? A hidden criminal record? Or maybe…
“Linda Ricardo?” He said.
“Uh- huh.” I stammered back like a complete idiot.
“Your name is Linda Ricardo right?”
“Oh, yes.”
“Okay great, I’ll try to remember everyone’s name this year, I have to warn you I’m not very good at names.”
Well I guess that was one thing.
“In any case.” He continued. “There’s going to be a group assignment that’s due about two weeks from now. You have to find a partner and write a report about a war that’s taken place in the past 20 years.”
The entire class groaned loudly. I groaned to on the inside. How was I supposed to find a partner for this project if the entire school hated my guts. I guess I could always just pretend I have a partner, but I have a feeling this teacher is the kind of guy who checks these things. As if on cue the teacher set to the class
“OK so when you find your partner you both need to sign this paper.” he held up a permission slip type document. “And turn it in tomorrow remember a partner is absolutely mandatory.”
With that the Bell Rang in the class was over.
When class ended everyone immediately filed out of the classroom except for me and Mr. Folly. give me a weird look since you noticed I hadn't left an I hadn't grabbed one of his papers. I decided that I would have to open my mouth and talk soon I didn't wanna get a 0 on this assignment.
“Um I really can't get a partner.” I told him.
He gave me a weird look and then said, “Why is that?”
That's when I realized I might have just walked into disaster. What was I supposed to tell him? ‘Well teach everyone in the school is pretty much conspiring against me and they all hate my guts so I really can't get any partner right now unless I want them to end up sabotaging my end of the project or something like that.’
As if he would ever believe something like that. A school wide conspiracy against me? He would just say I'm paranoid and that I need to stop thinking on the center of the universe or something along those lines. I would just make the coolest teacher in the school hate me. Oh, just the thought made me want to puke but I couldn't stop now I was already talking to him, so I had to think of something to say.
“I really don't work well with groups I think I work better alone.” I said.
Mr. Folly looked at me and then his eyes brightened up as if he understood everything now.
“Oh, I get it, you know when I was a kid, I didn’t work well with other either, but this is a great opportunity for you. You need to open up and get new experiences that's what school was all about.” Then he handed me one of the papers.
Great lotta help that was. I left the classroom as well eventually. Even though nothing had really happened yet I was already in a bad mood. I was avoiding crowds as usual picking up my lunch and heading for the bathroom but just as I was about to reach the end of the hallway where the bathroom was I saw one of the Hall monitors there. I couldn't let her see me walking into the bathroom with my lunch. That would start all sorts of new gossip about me, so I had to find another place. I decided to walk upstairs to the roof to eat my lunch it was actually pretty relaxing up there I don't know why I hadn't thought of it sooner. Well honestly, I do know why I hadn't done it sooner. We weren't supposed to be up on the roof it was off limits but it wasn't like anyone was guarding the roof or anything. So someone could head up there and no one would really notice. I eat my lunch up there overlooking the neighborhood where I grew up. I wonder if anybody would even remember me when I left this school. If I ever left the school. Even with this school wide conspiracy my guess would be no. With that nice thought I swallowed a mouthful of mashed potatoes and instantly didn't have an appetite anymore. I put my tray down and I wrapped my fingers around the fence that surrounded the roof. I pressed my face right to it. I didn't know what to do. I was all alone. What was I supposed to do alone? What was anyone supposed to do alone?
Just then I heard footsteps behind me. This girl with square purple rimed glasses and long black hair slowly walking towards me. I was instantly in panic mode. Somebody saw me up here kind of new rumors would they start up about me now. I miss the old me that didn't care about stuff like this.
She didn't seem creeped out by me like the rest of the school was. She just walked up next to me and said “Hey how's it going?”
“Its… going.” I said stupidly.
“What are you doing.” She said.
“Um.” My back was still turned to her, the wind was starting to pick up a little. It blew up my dress a little and moved the girl’s long hair around. “I’m just enjoying the view. What are you doing?” I needed to change the subject.
She suddenly looked sheepish. “We’ll it’s just that, anime characters always eat lunch on the roof, so I thought it’d…. you know….”
I just looked at her for a good three seconds. Then I started laughing. We both started laughing.
“Oh okay, that makes sense do you also have a letter that year going to give to your senpai?” I asked smirking.
“No, no don’t make fun of me I’m already embarrassed as it is.”
“Sorry.” I told her though I wasn’t really that sorry. “Lets just eat lunch up here before we’re caught.”
“Okay.” She skipped up next to me and plopped herself down way to close. Her long hair nearly slapped me in the face.
I didn’t want to be rude thought, so I sat down next to her.
“So do you like anime?” She asked.
“I wouldn't say like exactly, I'm vaguely aware of it and I've watched a few the shows.”
“Oh really 'cause I love anime it's kind of a problem.”
I didn’t really know what to say to her. I just looked at her and smiled.
“Well I'm just glad you're not gonna kill yourself or anything I got scared for a second there.” She said and laughed nervously.
I nearly spit out my imaginary water at that. She thought I was good kill myself? Is that why she looks so nervous when she first talked to me what kind of vibe did I give of- exactly?
“I was not going to kill myself, I was just looking at the view.” I told her exasperated.
“Hey, hey know need to get all defensive. I was just worried that’s all.”
“I was not going to kill myself.” I told her more calmly this time.
Something tells me she wasn't convinced. I hope she wasn't the type to spread rumors. I already had enough to deal with without rumors about me trying to kill myself spreading around the school, I need to find a way to keep an eye on her in the future.
“Is just that you always look so sad and you're always alone every time I see you and stuff. I just thought you know well. You just seem kinda emo and I just thought and it's totally OK if you are emo but you know I just thought uh..”
I sighed “I wasn’t going to kill myself and I’m not emo.”
“Right, goth.” She said and winked.
“No.” I needed to turn the conversation around fast. I needed to figure out what this girls angle was.
“So, you don't know about that thing that pushing thing because I'm such a weirdo.”
She looked genuinely confused at me.
“Pushing thing?” She said.
“Yeah you know that thing that everyone's been doing were they push me down and everyone pretends like they didn't see anything?”
“I wouldn't know about any sort of trendy thing like that I don't usually socialize that much unless it's in my club.”
“Oh, I see, is an anime club?”
“Yes, how do you guess?” She asked.
“Guess I'm just so super smart…”
She laughed.
“So what kind of stuff are you into?”
I choked up at that. I didn't really feel like answering the question. I halfway lied.
“Nothing really I just like to read.”
“Really about what?”
“I just like to read information about people and find information about different things that seem kind of mysterious.”
Her eyes widen like a real anime character.
“You mean like conspiracy theories?” she asked excitedly.
“Um.” I didn't know what to say I mean I wasn't expecting her to come up with the word for it so quickly.
“I guess so.”
“That's so cool. Can I help?”
“it's not really that exciting it's mostly me just searching through the Internet at a lot of boring data and all that.”
“No no it sounds super cool. Please can you tell me about it?”
“S-sure. How about we team up on that group project that we got assigned in literature class?” I asked this is my best chance to get a partner for the project.
“Sure, we can do about a war that has a conspiracy attached to it. Yeah that sounds super cool government espionage yo.”
“Right…”
“You are totally not going to regret not killing yourself.”
“I wasn’t going to kill myself.”
“Right.”
The days that followed went along more pleasantly than usual. We sent in the paper to the teacher making us partners for the project. We walked to the library together after school almost everyday after that to gather information. We ended up doing the project on the conspiracy involving the chemical warfare between 2 rival nations that involved seeping chemicals into the food supply that slowly killed off The rival nations inhabitants which was the actual start of the war, instead of what they said started the war, the poison nation suddenly deciding to bomb the other nation it was actually really interesting stuff and my new friend? was really helpful. It was actually nice to have a person to bounce my ideas off of to make sure they didn't sound too crazy or to say them out loud back to me. I'm kind of ashamed to admit that it took me nearly 2 days to ask what her name was.
“Oh, I’m May.” She said.
“I’m Linda.” I told her. “Well May, This particular investigation is compelling but far from conclusive there are several reports of this technology but there's no concrete evidence that it exists although that might be part of the conspiracy itself it's still a problem to proving our theory.”
“So you mean there's no technology like this that's ever been found anywhere I find that a little bit hard to believe.”
“I never said that there is a certain chemical that could be mixed into the seeds of plants that make them poisonous but the effects are really gruesome and outward so this isn't what they use probably you probably wanted to use something more discreet.”
“What are the effects of the poison we know of?”
“Well without getting too gruesome the moment it enters persons throat it burns and from the inside out and basically turns their own stomach acids against them until well they basically explode from the inside.”
“Gruesome dude.”
“Yeah.”
“Man you're such a cute girl you sure know some gross stuff.”
“You think I'm cute?” I legitimately never describe myself as cute.
“Yeah, you're totally cute you got the whole preppy girl thing going, you think I'm cute too right?”
“Yes, we're both… cute.”
“Totally.”
“Anyway, even though we couldn't prover theory without a shadow of a doubt this is still enough information to write a report on think we’ll get a good grade.”
“Awesome but let's still hang out after this OK?”
“Hang out?”
“Yeah let's go to the park or something we can pretend where characters in that show I'm watching.”
I laughed. “Aren’t we a little bit old to be playing pretend?”
“Come on just for a little while.”
I eventually agreed and we went to the park after I finish saving and printing the report we made. I watched a little bit of the show may was watching on her I-Phone. Apparently giant naked monsters without skin are attacking a walled town. Some People were using what looks like grappling gear and over-sized box cutters to fight them. According to May this is a pretty popular show. how do People think that me liking conspiracy theories is weird when there are regularly watching stuff like this. In any case when we reached the park we happen to see some of the kids that are from our school playing basketball.
I of course wanted to retreat. I didn't want to be anywhere near these people under any circumstances let alone be acting out scenes from an anime in front of them but May didn’t seem to care she just continued to look at her I-Phone walked to the open field next to the basketball court. Speaking of May's Phone she spent half the time glued to the thing. It wasn't healthy, well I guess I couldn't talk soon as though I spent half my time glued to my computer but still.
May made a b-line for the park equipment. She then grabbed onto the zip line. I just followed after her.
“Okay get at the end and then I’m going to jump off this thing Eren.”
“Okay.” I think Eren was the main character of the show. I didn’t exactly want to be him but it hardly mattered. This who thing was intensely silly anyway.
“Who are you supposed to be?”
“Mikasa duh, now be ready to catch me.” She said and slid back and forth on the zip line probably not so safe speeds.
Meanwhile a bunch of the kids from the basketball court were lingering closer to us. They looked like six boys in various states of undress and one girl with a crop top and a noticeable amount of makeup on. They were all laughing. I was getting really scared now. There was no one here to stop them so what if they decided to take things farther than usual this time. What if me or Mikasa, I mean May, really ended up getting hurt this time. They were still walking closer, but I noticed the girl in the crop top was fishing around in her bag for something. I looked back at May and she didn't seem at all worried, though she must have seen them she was still zipping back and forth on the zip line like she didn't have a care in the world.
They were laughing and chattering amongst themselves until one of them got deadly close to me. I tried not to look at him, but he wouldn't go away just then I heard may say something.
“Hey what the hell are you doing?”
“I quickly looked back at the guy.”
He was holding a pair of scissors close to my braid. Scissors. He was gonna cut my hair. He was going to cut my freaking hair. I ran away from him toward May. She currently had one hand on the zip line and one hand on her phone.
“I got a gif for yah, lookie.”
It was a few seconds long video with the guy clearly holding the scissors up to my hair and me looking back at him and running away. It also had most of the other people in the background smirking and laughing.
“You little bitch, delete that.”
“Nah bro, it’s already on my timeline.” She said while doing some pretty impressive one-handed texting.
“This is why no one likes you.”
“I wonder what would happen if I sent this to a teachers.”
“Would you just chill we were just kidding.”
“Whatever man.”
“Man forget them.” Another one of them said and they all went on their marry way.
“Th- thanks May.”
“Eren!” She yelled and jumped of the zip line.
I was barely able to catch her my legs are kinda strong thankfully so I could hold her up when she slammed into me from the zip line.
“Are you OK?” I asked her “That scared me.”
“Yeah now that I'm with you.” She said
I huffed “OK Mikasa.” I told her and unceremoniously put her down.
We both laughed.
No one tried to push me down when I was around May probably because she was such an iPhone fiend. So, I try to spend as much as time around her as possible. We eventually turned in our assignment and we both got 100 but there is also a note attached to our paper. It said ‘please see me after class’ I wondered what that was all about. Where we in trouble or something? In any case we went the entire class walk out and we stayed to talk to Mr. Folly. Maybe may ended up sending that video to the teachers after all and he wanted to talk about that. I realized it was pointless trying to wrap my brain around all the different possibilities 'cause I was about to hear it from the horse’s mouth anyway.
“You wanted to see us.” I said nervously.
“Yeah I wanted to talk to you about your reports.” He said while looking at his computer.
“Well um-.” May started but he didn’t let her finish.
“This is amazing, this goes way beyond what I would expect to get from high school students.”
Oh well he just wanted to praise us. Thank goodness.
“Yeah Linda’s really into conspiracy theories like that.” May said and I wish she hadn’t.
“Really.” Mr. Folly said and smoothed back his hair.
“Yeah.” May continued. “She looked at tons of things I wouldn’t even think to look at and went through what had to be tons of data, and I helped of course.” She ginned at me.
“Wow that’s amazing. I didn’t expect to find a student that knows anything about agricultural warfare and poisons things of that nature.”
“Yeah I like to research anything that's got a bit of a conspiracy behind it really.”
“How about the two of you come back to the classroom at lunch and we can talk more about it then?”
May and I looked at each other.
“That is if you’re not busy.” He continued.
“No, no we’ll be there. Right, Linda?”
“Yes, we’ll be there.”
After that we were dismissed.
In the days that followed we were having a lot of fun. We would walk around to our different classes together when we could, so I didn't get pushed around as much. At lunch time we took our trays directly to Mr.Folly’s classroom and ate lunch there. When we were in the classroom with him, we would talk endlessly about the conspiracy theories especially those relating to agriculture. Well actually I talked, May mostly just listen and interjected with witty quips occasionally. He seemed really interested by them, it was just kind of strange for literature teacher, but I wasn't one to judge. I have to admit I felt pretty special walking to the cool teacher’s classroom everyday at lunch. A few of the other girls gave us evil glares as we walk through the hallways we just laughed walk past them. Like they were nothing.
It was almost spring break when my dad sent me a text. It said, ‘Do you wanna come with me on my next business trip’ Dad had never let me come with him before.
‘Really were to?’
He texted back after a few minutes ‘New York, I’m taking the train.’
‘Sure, I would love to can I take a friend?’ I didn’t wanna push my luck, but it didn’t hurt to ask.
‘Yes, that’s fine as long as it’s not a guy.’
‘Thanks dad!’ he didn’t respond back which was fine by me, I had to ask May to come on a trip with me.
When I asked her she jumped at the chance.
“Holly gosh I'm so glad we're friends.” She said I told you, you wouldn't regret not killing yourself.”
“I wasn't going to kill myself as I told you.” I said.
Things are really looking up. At first, I had thought that my dad didn't even wanna look at me, but if he was inviting me to go along with him on business trips then maybe he didn't dislike me so much after all. Course I consider that there might be ulterior motives to him inviting me along, but I was trying to look on the bright side. When we boarded the train May seem more than excited. She was looking around and taking pictures of everything with her phone.
“I can’t believe we’re going to New York. I’ve never even been out of the town before.”
“Me neither.” I told her.
My dad only looked slightly annoyed with us.
“Don’t get lost okay. I don’t wanna be late.” He said.
“Yes sir.” I told him.
“Is your dad in a bad mood? Maybe I shouldn’t have come?”
“No no that’s just his personality.”
“Oh okay.” She said but didn’t sound convinced.
As we walk through the train station towards the terminal we passed by a huge statue. May looked really excited at the water at the bottom and wanted to throw a coin in.
“This is my favorite color you know.” She said as she tossed in her coin.
“What?”
“Silver.”
“Oh.”
“What’s your favorite color Linda?”
“It’s ah I guess I would have to say it’s pink.”
She laughed at that.
“What’s so funny?”
“Sorry, nothing, I just wasn’t expecting that. You’re so cute.”
“Right.”
Later we were about to board the train when may came to a complete stop and I almost ran into her
“What is it?” I said.
“Nothing.” She said and looked back at me. “I just thought I saw something for a second never mind.” she kept walking.
We eventually boarded the train and found our seats with my dad. May and I got caught up in the weird conversation about whether or not she should die her hair pink.
“Don't like it when people die their hair unnatural colors.” I told her.
“But it would look so cute though, I mean it will look moe.”
This conversation went on for a while, my dad seemed extremely preoccupied the whole time. He was looking at his I-Phone or looking at his computer or his watch. He completely ignored us eventually he got up to use the restroom.
“I'll be right back just sit tight.” He said.
“OK.” I told him
I looked out the window to see us moving quickly along the tracks.
“Linda?”
“Yeah?” May looked weirded out all of a sudden.
“I think I actually did see something back there, I think I saw our literature teacher back there boarding the train but I don't know what seat he’s in.”
“You're kidding.” I said.
“No, it's super weird, what are the odds of us going to the same place over summer break maybe we'll meet him there. I know you have a crush on him.”
“I do not.” I told her and bumped her shoulder.
“Sure whatever.” She said and then we soon got back to the hair conversation.
We got so distracted debating over whether or not she should get pink hair that I didn't notice my dad had been gone for quite awhile eventually I said so.
“Don't you think my dad's been gone for quite a while.” I said.
“Yes, weird, he must have diarrhea or something.”
“Gross.” I did not want to think about my dad having diarrhea.
“Just a theory.”
The train shrugged along, and I was eventually getting sleepy looking at the trees pass over and over again. I felt myself starting to drift off I looked over at May and she looked like she was in a similar state. Things were so awesome right now. I finally have a friend. I almost feel asleep like that but just then like the world's worst alarm clock what sounded like a gunshot went off that ring in our ears. People were screaming not too far in the distance.
“What the hell was that.” May said. She ducked under her seat with her hands covering her head as if that would stop a bullet.
I don't know I said more quietly didn't want to attract any attention in a possible active shooter situation “Think maybe a gun went off- in one of the carriages but I don't know.”
“Put your head down.” May hist while she was already under her seat with her hands still covering her head.
“OK.” I slid down as quietly as I could joining her
We stayed there for a while panic ensued on the train I saw feet running back and forth past where we were sitting or more like hiding under our seats until once time 2 men’s shoes stop directly in front of our seats, purposely in front of our seats.
I was in some kind of fervor panic mode, May and I covered our mouths to keep from screaming it didn't look like my dad's shoes they were definitely some other guys shoes, possibly the shooters here to kill us because he had seen us I was so scared I couldn’t think straight but then we heard a voice.
“Linda?”
It was Mr. Folly. Was he here to help us? I peaked my head out to look. It was Mr. Folly and he was holding the gun. He was the shooter.
“Linda come with me.” He said. He didn’t just have a gun he was fully armored in a bullet proof suit and a waist band filled with a collection of weapons.
“But.. I why…”
“Hurry there’s no time.” He said and shook his gun impatiently.
“I still didn't move he must have seen her sensed my fear because it seemed like his voice soft and a bit
“look I'm not gonna hurt you.” He said. “Just come with me and everything will be fine.”
I took one last look at may her eyes were now watery she was clearly about to cry. I decided to cut my losses. I stepped out from under the seat and walked with the person I thought was my literature teacher.
People were cowering in their seats as we walked past them. There had been screaming at first but now everyone was as quiet as a church mouse. We walk by several people some of them had babies that started crying as we walked past. As I walked past. I looked at the people with a worried look in my eyes. I think they thought I was a hostage, who knows maybe I was, I had no idea what was going on. I just walked silently next to my teacher with my heart racing. My blood was starting to run cold I wished he would say something but he walked silently without even looking at me for a moment. We eventually reached a secluded area in the train he finally spoke then.
“I was worried for a second but I was able to find you.” He said. “I didn't know even with may telling me you were gonna be here, I didn't know if I was gonna be able to find you.”
“Why are you doing this?!” I started to say but maybe I didn't wanna know the answer.
“I know you must think this is insane, but I want you to hear me out I am trying to save lives, I'm not the bad guy here.”
“Well you could have fooled me.”
“I know I know I need to hear and see when I know and have seen then you understand I know you understand because you like me.
“Like you?” I asked. I sincerely doubted that I was anything like him I was only a normal amount of crazy he was …… an unusually high amount of crazy.
“Yes, you understand the evil things that people do in secret you've seen them I know you have.”
“What is this about it wasn't making any sense you only sound like a crazy person to me.”
He pulled out what looks like a tablet and started typing things into it. “There is a man riding this train he's a leading scientist named Jack Cobe Anderson, the main instrument in a plot to put chemicals into the food supply how significantly shorten or end the lives a lot of people it's part of the government's population control program. We need to find that man and kill him before it’s to late.”
“What?” I said.
He rubbed his head in very impatient manner. Oh, sorry if I'm taking up your valuable time Mr. Shooter I thought sarcastically. “I don't have time to explain the details to you just look at this.” He gives me the tablet.
I saw it, I saw a picture of my dad there he was clear as day. Apparently, he was the scientist that was supposedly in this plot to kill people chemically altered plants. It was under a different name, age an even address but the picture was definitely a picture of my dad. He had a secret identity? When? Why? Or maybe this is his real identity and the identity that I know is actually his secret identity. Regardless it was definitely my dad. I try not to let the surprise showing my face, I didn't know what was going on I need more information. Maybe my teacher was just crazy or maybe my dad was an evil scientist, who knows I just needed more information. I didn't have any leverage on this guy if I disagreed with him, he might just shoot me, so I decided to go along with it for now. I would have to find a way to stop him later. Put my hand up to my face in horror to sell my act. Then I told him first of many many lies that I would tell him.
“I understand.” I said.
“I knew you would.” He told me he looked genuinely relieved, it was kind of cute. I almost felt bad for lying.
“What do you need me to do?” I asked
“Well 1st I need you to be my hostage.”
“You mean meat shield?” I told him.
“Hopefully it won’t come to that.”
How thoughtful of him.
“OK you didn't really need to let me in on your plan for me to be your hostage, did you?” As soon as I said that I immediately regretted it, not questioning a crazy person's plan is part of staying alive 101.
He seemed to take it relatively well though.
“I was in the military for a long time before I became a teacher.” He said. “I always need a surprise asset what's the best way to properly execute a plan I need you to be my asset in case anything goes wrong. Can you do that?”
I swallowed “Yeah I can do that.”
“Good.” He said. “Now follow me.”
We walked back out into the crowded area but this time I was directly at gunpoint.
“Don't move.” he barked. “Don’t anyone fucking move.” The gun was poking directly into my back. If I see anyone move or if the cops are contacted, I’m going to blow her brains out do you understand?” Nobody responded but I think they understood. “If anyone tries to be a hero she dies.” A few people looked around like they were considering the pros and cons of trying something. I few moments when by and still nobody moved.
My literature teacher was scanning every isle, probably looking for my dad but came up with nothing. Then he took out his tablet with one hand while stile pointing the gun at me with the other.
“I’m looking for this man.” He held up my dad’s picture. “And all of you are going to help me look. If I don’t find this man before the train comes to a stop it’s going to be a Massacre and I'm starting with her.” He poked the gun in my back for drama. Everyone started chattering amongst themselves now. We passed by May was sitting. She was cowering and crying in her seat. “I’d hurry if I were you.” Then we moved on.
He said something similar when we moved further down in the cars but this time he was met with resistance. A shiny haired burly guy with a vest came at Mr. Folly with lightning fast speed. A few people gasped in surprise when it happened. I had to move out of the way as fast as I could before I ended up slipping on the ground and getting slammed. The chokehold the guy had Mr.Folly in what would have incapacitated any normal person but my literature teacher was surprisingly agile. He reversed the chokehold like some sort of professional anime fighter and pointed the gun directly at the man’s neck.
“No wait!” I said but of course I was ignored.
He shot the man in the neck. He choked and gargled on his own blood for a few horrifying seconds but then he dropped to the floor and died. My literature teacher had killed him. People starting screaming and crying all over the car now.
“Shut up.” My teacher said.
I had crumpled to my knees I had read all sports of terrible things in my investigation crazy explosions that killed millions of people, slavery, child sacrifice but I had only just read about those things. I had never seen somebody kill another person before. I had never seen the dead body before either. It was more than my eyes could take. I was sitting on the floor hyperventilating and tearing apart at the seams. My teacher grabbed me by the arm and roughly pulled me to my feet. This caused the tears that were welling up inside my eyes to fall out. They ran down my checks and stained the top of my dress.
The teacher tries to tell me to get moving but I’m frantically wondering where my dad is. Why did he decided to bring me here? Why wasn’t he here now? Why was this happening? Eventually a few other people try to attack him. I had been walking around In front of him half dazed when it happened. Three guys decided to gang up on him. One guy went for his gun while two other guys went at him from behind. The guy that grabbed his gun didn’t count on him having a spare. He ended his life in one head shot. The two other men that when at him from behind jumped on his back hoping to tackle him to the ground. Guess they weren’t counting on him being so sturdy. He remained standing and managed to wing them both of him. He shot one guy in head that landed on the floor and the guy who landed in one of the booths. The latter bullet grazed one woman in the leg and she screamed in agony as the blood pored down her thigh.
My teacher tells me to get going but I don’t start walking to easily this time.
“You monster.” I said with my head down. I honestly didn’t care if he shot me this time.
Instead of shooting me though he came closer and said something quietly in my ear. “This is all worth it, these lives are nothing compared to the lives we’re going to save.”
I looked up at him. He looked completely ernest and committed there was absolutely no way to reason with him.
“OK.” I said. “Just let me look for him we could cover more ground if we split up.”
That got me a curious look but eventually he agreed. OK I'll let you work alone but check in with me every 3 minutes or I'm coming to look for you.” after he said that he handed me a walkie talkie
I quickly took it then I walked away from him through the panicking of dead bodies and crying people.
I only knew one thing, I need to find my dad and fast. We had already looked in all the conventional places he would go. So, I need to start thinking creative I had to check the closets and under all of the desk then I had the idea to look in the kitchen. There were a few terrified attendance in the kitchen but no sign of my father. Instead of leaving the kitchen right away I wanted to double check so I worked under and over drawers and cupboards in the kitchen. The workers gave me questioning looks but didn't challenge me. They must have seen me what the killer, my teacher. It wasn't for a few moments that I got the bright idea to look in the freezer. I opened the freezer door and a blast of cold air hit me but should the sweat that already covered my body. It was not a pleasant feeling. I stepped in for a closer look but just then I was greeted with a kick in the stomach.
I doubled over in pain and look for what was the source of the kick was. It turned out it was the man I was looking for. My father was there looking very worried.
“Oh, it's you.” he said
Before I said anything in response, I took the walkie talkie out checked in with my teacher and carefully placed the walkie talkie outside of the freezer then closed the door. I didn't know if he might be listening in even if walkie talkie appeared off.
“We don't have much time now.” I said. “What the hell is going on?” I said. I never been so directed my dad before honestly it felt kind of refreshing.
“I don't know what's going on.” He said and looked at the ground.
I suspecting these were more lies. There is no way he knew absolutely nothing about what was going on. I saw his picture. I saw his alias. He definitely knew something.
“Please God just tell me what's going on. I can't do anything unless I know what's going on. Are you really in a project that's going to control the population?”
He looked a little bit surprised at that comment but continue to refuse he knew anything.
I told you Linda I don't know anything.
“Then why did you walk way before this whole thing started to go hide?”
“I didn't leave to go hide. I was really in the restroom then I heard these gunshots and then I went to go hide in this freezer.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
I was starting to get really frustrated now. The convenient timing was way too much to take his statement at face value. All the anger and paranoia that I've been feeling over the past few years bubbling up to the surface.
“Why are you doing? This this is just like what you did with mom.”
“What are you talking about you, stupid girl you don't know anything.”
“No no this is just like what you did with mom you won't tell me anything and I don't know why.”
“I told your dumb ass I have no idea what you're talking about.”
“Fine I'll solve the problem on my own, just like I always solve the problem on my own, but remember this dad we get out of this I'm reporting you to the cops.”
“What don't be foolish I'm your father. You are messing with things that are way beyond your understanding or control.”
“Whatever.” And I left the freezer.
I exited the freezer and picked up the walkie talkie. I planned to check in again but just then I heard gunshots. I decided I had to do something about it this time no matter what. I couldn’t just stand around and let another person die again. I ran toward the gunshots but each of my steps became heavier than the last. I know I had told my dad back in the freezer that I solved all the problems on my own but in reality I had no idea what to do on my own. I was always looking for answers because I had no one in this world to tell me what to do. The whole time I was thinking ‘what am I supposed to do alone?’
When I reached the source of the gunshot sound. I saw that my teacher had already shot someone. I was still a little bit at a distance, but I could see that there was a young boy who had been shot in the leg. My teacher was about to land a finishing blow so I looked around for something I could use as a weapon. I saw a fire extinguisher lacking anything better I decided to cut my losses and pick up the fire extinguisher. I ran toward the teacher and hit him on the back of the head with it. There was a loud thunk sound but he didn't topple to the ground like out of old western movie. It did temporarily stun him though. It was enough time to give the boy an opportunity to go for the gun again. A few blast went off- while the boy an my teacher wrestled for the gun. People were screaming and ducking for cover trying to avoid the free ranging bullets that flew around and pierced holes in of the cabin. None of them moved to help us though. I pick up the fire extinguisher again and sprayed its contents directly into the eyes of my teacher this blinded him. He was strong but he was still a feeling human. He started to scream in pain. The boy now has more control and picks up the gun right out of my teacher’s hands. He then managed to shoot my teacher in the head at point blank range. The teacher toppled to the ground. My teacher was dead. It was over.
I crumble to my knees and start an ugly temper tantrum like cry. The boy holds his leg were he’s been shot. He tried the stifle the bleeding but it isn’t going very well. He’s around my age with brown skin and brown eyes. I don’t have any bandages or towels so I rip part of my dress and put it on his leg. He looks surprised at this but accepts it.
“Uh thanks.” He says.
“It’s just a dress.” I tell him.
“Not that, for helping me fight that guy, I would have died if it weren’t for you.”
“Oh, uh yeah, any time.”
He leaned closer to me. As if he was trying to get a better look at me. I leaned away in response. Even after a near death experience I was do a little self conscious.
“Huh?”
“Hey you’re that girl!”
“Excuse me?”
“you're that girl from school that did all the conspiracy stuff?”
That's when I realize this kid was one of those brats at my school, perfect just what I needed. I expected him to ridicule me but instead he just laughed in a friendly way.
“Man, you are a really weird girl!” He said.
“Yeah I guess so.” I told him and for once I didn't mind being called that.