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froggy

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Everything posted by froggy

  1. Ever since I was a kid, I've been able to see people's aura's, as well as the colors of sounds. I thought it was normal for a long time, until I moved to a new house and started getting sleep paralysis. This changed how I perceived the world, since previously, I could sense whether a person was trustworthy and see the color of sounds from a long distance. Not only was that the same, it was amplified by those nightmares. I suddenly started hearing my parents whispering with each other in their room across the hall and my little brother's soft breathing the room over as I laid in bed at night. Then, I started seeing shadow creatures and figures that would stand ominously, no matter if it was day or night. They were the same creatures that I saw in my sleep paralysis. I was seeing a therapist at the time, so I told them what I was experiencing. Since I was a kid, they brushed it off as a active imagination. The thing it is, as I got older those creatures only became more solidified in my vision. It went from feeling something wrong and seeing the shadows darken. To tall figures watching me from a distance outside my window. At night, I could hear knocking on my window, and sometimes from one of my closets as well. I even heard soft crying from that closet. It was very unnerving, and my behavior became increasingly erratic. My breaking point was when I was hanging in my bed with my cat, and I noticed a shadow creature step out of the darkness my door casted. I was used to it at this point, since they didn't do much except whisper. And since my diagnosis, I tried to convince myself that it was hallucination like the doctors said. But as I stared at it, I became more scared. Then my cat started hissing at it. I freaked out, grabbed my cat, and started yelling for my mom. The thing is, my cat was 19 years old at the time, she didn't meow unless she wanted food or attention. Let alone hiss, she would only do that when a neighborhood cat came to the door. But she was there hissing at this creature that I thought was a hallucination. That was a few years ago, and I moved from that house. I started recovering and working on myself more. The conversation came up, and I explained my experiences to my dad and sister. Turns out, I was too young to know this at the time, but the previous owners of that house was a family of five. The parents were extremely strict and physically abusive. Especially to the youngest son who didn't do well in school. After his older siblings left to go to college, his parents left to rent out a condo. Leaving the youngest in the house, and apparently he went insane. Going up into the attic and carving the anti-christ symbol into the ceiling, and into every door of the house. He lived up there for a while I heard. Eventually the house was sold by his parents to my family, and he was kicked out. But before they moved out, professionals had to dig up seven urns filled with ash that were buried in the backyard. As well as disassemble an altar that they had made. Theres still concrete were it stood, but its overshadowed by overgrown bamboo. After hearing that, I realized that when I moved out, my symptoms had suddenly become more manageable. I thought it was that I had space from my mother or the work I had put into my mental health. But now I wonder if whatever had happened in that house had left its mark. Even though psychosis is a scientifically explained mental illness, I never fully trusted what professionals told me. Especially the ones who were more eager to prescribe me medications then hear what I had to say. I think theres definitely some overlap between the paranormal and being mentally ill. Since, my whole family could agree that something was wrong with that house.
  2. I'm an avid library-goer, and I also picked up a few books from Kinokuniya too! Recently I've read Metamorphosis, The Summer Hikaru Died, Dandadan 5 - 6, Drrr! Light Novel, Rozen Maiden, Go For it Nakamura!, and Phantom Tales of the Night. 1. Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka was basically the embodiment of "If I was a worm would you still love me?". But in Gregory's case, his family didn't quite see him the same when he woke up as a gigantic insect. 2. The Summer Hikaru Died was a really interesting take on the grief of losing a loved one. Psychological horror and boys love was not a combination I've ever seen before, but the art depicted it masterfully. 10/10 3. Dandadan was amazing as usual. Tatsu's art and story-telling just keeps improving with every chapter! 4. Drrr! the english translation of the light novel is a book I've read many times, and it never gets old. Drrr! is my favorite franchise like ever, and I love all the characters. Although, I have read the original japanese light novel, the english version doesn't quite capture all of the nuance and complex themes communicated in it. Its more of a dumbed down version of the og. 5. Rozen Maiden's a classic manga for all lolita. As a baby lolita and ball-jointed doll owner, I absolutely adore the Maiden dolls. It was published sometime in 2003 so it still has the paneling, screentone, and art style of 90's manga. 6. Go For it Nakamura! is another boys love book thats super wholesome. The main character reminds me of Ranma because of his hair, but their personality's couldn't be any more different. Nakamura is very shy and insecure unlike Ranma... 7. Phantom Tales of the Night is really creepy, but I liked the mystery and how it draws you in.
  3. Yes! I take no offense. Autism runs in my family, so it was no surprise that I am. It did take some time to understand my own symptoms since I've masked it for most of my life. Or attempted to... Most people in my life just assumed I was autistic before I was even diagnosed
  4. Practicing kanji makes my brain hurt 😧

    1. Animedragon

      Animedragon

      I'm certain that practising kanji would make my brain hurt too. 🙂

    2. viruxx

      viruxx

      I thought I was doing okay when I attempted to learn Japanese a little over a year ago.... until I got to the kanji. 😭

  5. Although I'm still a teenager, I wish I understood social queues and how emotions worked sooner. Growing up I felt like there was a wall between me and my peers, like they could all understand something I didn't. Every year I learn more things about socializing, but it still doesn't make sense to me why most people say certain things that mean the opposite in an emotional sense I've been able to make friends, but I find it so hard to maintain the connection because of my communication problems. The reason I want to grow up so quickly is so that I can skip all of this painful learning, and just be able to talk because that's what everyone says is how you navigate relationships. But truthfully, I wish people could respect the things I say without words and not push for more. Since I recently learned that unlike myself, generally most people can understand body language and facial expressions on some level.
  6. I'd have to go with cat girls because I loveeee cats. They're the cutest, grumpiest, and bossy creatures ever. Some are playful, protective, and fun! While others are calm and mellow. You never know what you're going to get with them. But one thing is for sure is that if you respect their boundaries and follow their rules, they'll treat you like their slave. Which I can't help but love how such a small creature believes they're stronger than me. I can't help but go along with it
  7. I feel hopeful. Last night I had a hard time sleeping. But it made me think about how far I've come. Even last year, when I stayed up too late or made a simple mistake I used to be super hard on myself about it. Its crazy how much things can change in such a short time as a teenager. I'm excited to become an adult and work on believing in myself even more.
  8. Feeling pretty tired. Stayed up late on my phone on a school night. Luckily, I don't have work today, but still I can't focus on any of my school work right now.
  9. The Dandadan trailer is so hype omg

  10. In class the other day, my teacher asked which cartoon character I would be best friends with. I said shizou from Durarara! because we both have anger issues lol. Anyways, that gave me the idea to ask here. If you could be best friends with any anime character, who would it be and why?
  11. It was icy this morning so I couldn't bike to school. I almost slipped on the road actually. It's warmer now so most of its melted, but during class it started hailing. Luckily it stopped before class got out since I left my umbrella at home.
  12. Re-reading Dandadan for the 10th time. I just can't get enough of it.
  13. Yay!ヽ(o^▽^o)ノ
  14. Another banger from a W album (≧◡≦) Been a while since I've watched an anime AMV, this one fit the song well
  15. Welcome to planet earf numba 1.5 osaka fan "nani sore okashii?"(°ロ°) ! "sata andagi" :D
  16. Have a headache during class. I just want it to be lunch so I can talk with my friend. Its so hard to focus in U.S history, not that I don't value it, but the way my teacher lectures puts me to sleep. (-, – )…zzzZZZ
  17. hiiii, hope to see u around! I saw on your profile that ur a Osaka fan... Sorry to say this but, I'm number one Osaka follower lolz. (I can make exceptions) Osaka's my favorite character because of how much of an airhead she is, and I'm excited to see someone who likes her too XD
  18. I'll remember this, that I think in the longterm its not worth it. Thank you for the encouragement. Really, I hope that I can become closer to the people around me that are kind. So I'll try my best to stick through high school and have some fun while I'm at it. Safe fun I mean.
  19. Nowadays its kinda crazy with the internet and all. My sister's ex-boyfriend used to sell vape pens from his locker (without the cartridges) in eighth grade because he just bought them online. And when I was in sixth grade or around that time was when JUUL's were introduced. Then all of a sudden kids I grew up with started using the bathrooms too much, and getting suspended for hitting their JUUL behind the school. Now it feels like every single person I know has done at least a little bit of drugs, vapes, smokes, and/or steals alcohol, and I'm a bit tired of being shamed and excluded for not wanting to do it with them. I wish that the school policewoman could actually enforce the rules about it so I can use the restroom in peace, but its too big of a problem for one person to solve.
  20. My school has a huge vaping problem, especially in the bathrooms. To the point that volunteers and school management stands outside... And whenever I have to use the handicapped stall, I dread it because it smells overwhelmingly sweet, and mixed with the usual smell of a highschool bathroom it makes it e x t r e m e l y unpleasant to use the restroom. Sometimes they'll hit weed pens, and there was even a time where the boy's bathroom was closed because some boys hotboxed it. I'll just say that the entire hallway smelled like weed for the rest of the day... Personally, I don't vape because I take medication. Although, I do have friends who do, so I don't really mind it. The only time I do is when its in the bathroom because of the horrendous combined smell.
  21. I usually have my wallet with me, so I can use my debit card for most purchases when going out. But during school, I usually buy snacks and soda from the vending machine. For that, I use apple pay when my dad gives me money on it, or my debit card. I never have cash nowadays, the last few times I had it was a payment for an art commission. I usually fly through it quickly when hanging out with my friends... But other than that, all I have is a few pennies... So overall, I use my debit card the most, but I'd prefer having cash at some point for the vending machines at my work that don't take debit or apple pay.
  22. Exactlyyy, I've sold some merch that I wasn't rlly interested in anymore, and its super easy! I use buyee to go on mercari jp where there are even more deals too!
  23. YESSS mercari has so much well-priced thingss. I got all the watamote manga for 11 bucks, and the entire dvd set for trinity blood for 15!! ^o^
  24. Yess, I only buy shows that I think I would enjoy more in a DVD format. Take like azumanga daioh or serial experiments lain. But other than that, I love going to physical stores and looking around. There's one with a bunch of collectors vintage stuff, and also more niche oldies too. Love going there. Ohhhh, that makes sense. I checked and Azumanga Daioh has a 6-disc set!
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