Singapore
No, it's not that clean. We still see litter and cockroaches in places.
No, it's not fun. It's boring. I know that's subjective and all, but by comparison, Singapore is a miniature version of American entertainment. The theme parks are mediocre and the shops are unimpressive. We rarely get red-carpet movie premiers around here, where you get to see celebrities and stuff. Even Seoul, an Asian country, had an 'Age of Ultron' red carpet event. Want to watch Netflix? Tough luck. It's not available in Singapore. Everything's limited to a small-scale version of what is cool and fun.
Yes, it's pretty safe, but only because of the authoritarian regime the government holds over the people. Okay, a little overdramatic, I admit, but it's still pretty strict around these parts. There's little room for 'freedom' and 'human rights' here when kids are allowed to be punished with corporal discipline like caning and the such.
Like all countries, the people living here would love to advertise their homeland as some kind of paradise nirvana to foreign nations for the sake of building foreign relations and attracting tourism. All countries except America, which ironically has began to admit that America isn't the greatest country in the world anymore... and yet, Singapore still holds that notion of pride in mind like a bunch of nationalist elitists. Singapore has problems like any first-world country, if only the people would admit it.
No, we are not yellow-skinned. It's a disease called jaundice, nothing to joke about. No, we are not all squinty-eyed and have small penises. I saw some seriously bugged-eye Asians around here and they aren't any better than squinty-eyed ones, and some of us have (and are) huge dicks as well.
It's not "ching chong ming ting long," it's "ching cho meng teng long".