efaardvark Posted April 7, 2024 Share Posted April 7, 2024 I have an eclipse joke... but it gets kind of dark. Why are so many people talking about the eclipse? Probably because it's significance is astronomical. Why did the moon feel guilty after the solar eclipse? It thought it might have thrown some shade! How does the man in the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animedragon Posted April 17, 2024 Share Posted April 17, 2024 A photon checks into a hotel, where a porter asks where its suitcase is. The photon replies, "I didn't bring any luggage. I'm travelin light." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 18, 2024 Share Posted April 18, 2024 I'm trying to remember the word for white in French, but for some reason my mind is going blanc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
efaardvark Posted April 19, 2024 Share Posted April 19, 2024 What do gamers and musicians have in common? Their fans are super noisy. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
efaardvark Posted April 19, 2024 Share Posted April 19, 2024 I'm addicted to brake fluid, but it's OK because I can stop at any time. I can't stand Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
efaardvark Posted April 22, 2024 Share Posted April 22, 2024 Why couldn’t the pony sing in the choir? He was a little horse. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
efaardvark Posted April 23, 2024 Share Posted April 23, 2024 They say that no two people see color the exact same way, so really, color is just a pigment of your imagination. What did the buffalo say to his son who was leaving for college? Bison. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
efaardvark Posted April 24, 2024 Share Posted April 24, 2024 (edited) What do you call it when a cat wins first place at a dog show? It’s a cat-has-trophy! Did you hear about the casino restaurant that feeds its cows cannabis? Yeah, some gamblers prefer high steaks. Edited April 24, 2024 by efaardvark 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animedragon Posted April 25, 2024 Share Posted April 25, 2024 What is a nitrate? It's cheaper than a day rate. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animedragon Posted May 16, 2024 Share Posted May 16, 2024 Girl: “If we did become engaged, would you give me a ring?”. Boy: “Yes, of course! What is your number again?” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animedragon Posted May 26, 2024 Share Posted May 26, 2024 When happens when a clock is hungry? It goes back four seconds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 17, 2024 Share Posted June 17, 2024 What does one hat say to another? "You stay here. I'll go on a head." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animedragon Posted June 19, 2024 Share Posted June 19, 2024 What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A woolly jumper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animedragon Posted June 21, 2024 Share Posted June 21, 2024 I was going to post a political joke. Then I remembered that they are often the ones that get elected. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animedragon Posted September 25, 2024 Share Posted September 25, 2024 When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
417Unlocked Posted November 4, 2024 Share Posted November 4, 2024 Why does Peter Pan fly? Because he Neverlands What did the ocean say when it left? Nothing it just waved! What does snoop dog use an umbrella for? Fo' Drizzle 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animedragon Posted November 10, 2024 Share Posted November 10, 2024 Did you hear about the man who sued the airline over his missing luggage? He lost his case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animedragon Posted November 20, 2024 Share Posted November 20, 2024 My granddad always said, "When one door closes, another door opens." Lovely man. Terrible cabinet maker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
efaardvark Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 My dream job would be to clean mirrors. I could really see myself doing that. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animedragon Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 4 hours ago, efaardvark said: My dream job would be to clean mirrors. I could really see myself doing that. Definitely a career you can look back and reflect on. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gale Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 Did you hear about the guy who lost the entire left side of his body in a car accident? He's all right now. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
efaardvark Posted June 4 Share Posted June 4 Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it. Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection except one. (Wait for it.) He's never gonna give you Up. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
efaardvark Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says, "Ribbit, ribbit" and a horny toad says, "Rub it, rub it.” 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gale Posted June 7 Share Posted June 7 Can a frog jump higher than a house? Why, of course it can! A house can't jump, after all. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
efaardvark Posted June 7 Share Posted June 7 I built a model of Mount Everest. My son asked, "Is it to scale?" I replied, "No…it’s to look at." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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