Animedragon Posted October 24, 2022 Share Posted October 24, 2022 1 hour ago, efaardvark said: Have you heard about the new extreme camping trend? It’s in tents. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta-way. Why is it a bad idea to iron your four-leaf clover? You should never press your luck. I really, really want a "groan" emoji. That batch of jokes are soooo bad they're excellent 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animedragon Posted November 5, 2022 Share Posted November 5, 2022 Some tourists were asked what they thought of Switzerland, they said it was a very nice country to visit and the flag was a big plus. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animedragon Posted November 8, 2022 Share Posted November 8, 2022 What does “idk” stand for? Everyone I ask says, “I don’t know.” 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
efaardvark Posted November 9, 2022 Share Posted November 9, 2022 Some really evil ones.... What do evil cows say? Moo ha ha. What do you call evil duck rituals? Fowl practices. Why don’t vampires feel bad about the evil things they do? They’re incapable of reflection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animedragon Posted December 3, 2022 Share Posted December 3, 2022 What do you call Santa’s helpers? - Subordinate Clauses. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? - Frostbite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 3, 2022 Share Posted December 3, 2022 Over one hundred years ago, everyone owned horses and the rich were the only ones who owned cars. Today, everyone owns cars and the rich own horses. My, how the stables have turned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 4, 2022 Share Posted December 4, 2022 A pirate walked into a bar with a steering wheel between his legs. The bartender asked him, "What's the deal with the steering wheel?" The pirate replied, "ARRR!!! It's drivin' me nuts!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animedragon Posted December 8, 2022 Share Posted December 8, 2022 What's the most useful tool a wizard can have? A spell checker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animedragon Posted December 9, 2022 Share Posted December 9, 2022 Text message> Windows frozen! Text reply> Pour hot water on it. Text message> Computer really messed up now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 9, 2022 Share Posted December 9, 2022 Jokes about German sausages are the absolute wurst. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 11, 2022 Share Posted December 11, 2022 On 12/9/2022 at 1:17 PM, viruxx said: Jokes about German sausages are the absolute wurst. And the people who tell them are total brats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
efaardvark Posted December 15, 2022 Share Posted December 15, 2022 What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water? Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat. I don't trust trees. They seem kind of shady. Did you know corduroy pillows are in style? Yeah, they're making headlines. Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the no-bell prize. What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant. Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 15, 2022 Share Posted December 15, 2022 What’s the fastest growing nation on Earth? Ireland. It’s Dublin everyday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animedragon Posted December 20, 2022 Share Posted December 20, 2022 Did you hear about the man who was terrified of the Santa at the shopping centre? His doctor told him he was Claustrophobic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 21, 2022 Share Posted December 21, 2022 I was washing the car with my son yesterday. He asked, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 2, 2023 Share Posted January 2, 2023 What is the least expensive cut of meat ever? Deer balls. They're under a buck! What city do all the bad cooks come from in Alabama (or England, for our friends across the pond)? Burningham Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
animechat Posted January 7, 2023 Share Posted January 7, 2023 Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing? In case they get a hole in one! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
efaardvark Posted January 7, 2023 Share Posted January 7, 2023 What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot? A walkie-talkie. Why was the rabbit upset? He was having a bad hare day. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 8, 2023 Share Posted January 8, 2023 What happens when Mike Tyson gets frustrated from trying to peel an orange? He gets pithed off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animedragon Posted January 8, 2023 Share Posted January 8, 2023 A fad is something that goes in one era and out the other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
animechat Posted January 15, 2023 Share Posted January 15, 2023 What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Philippe Flop. 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 17, 2023 Share Posted January 17, 2023 How many DIY buffs does it take to change a light bulb? One, but it takes two weeks and four trips to the hardware store. I read that by law you must turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden, but how am I supposed to know when it’s raining in Sweden? Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell? He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
efaardvark Posted January 17, 2023 Share Posted January 17, 2023 2 hours ago, viruxx said: I read that by law you must turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden, but how am I supposed to know when it’s raining in Sweden? This could get complicated. By law you must turn your headlights on if it is raining here in California as well. (Actually I think the law says something like "if visibility is reduced then..." since that covers night time as well but the rule of thumb for rainy days is that if you have to turn your windshield wipers on then you should turn your lights on as well. I do know that around here [SoCal] you'll get pulled over and have a little talk with a traffic cop if you don't.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 17, 2023 Share Posted January 17, 2023 16 minutes ago, efaardvark said: This could get complicated. By law you must turn your headlights on if it is raining here in California as well. (Actually I think the law says something like "if visibility is reduced then..." since that covers night time as well but the rule of thumb for rainy days is that if you have to turn your windshield wipers on then you should turn your lights on as well. I do know that around here [SoCal] you'll get pulled over and have a little talk with a traffic cop if you don't.) I think it's the same here in North Carolina, too. My truck's headlights will automatically come on when lighting conditions get darker, so I usually don't have to worry about it, unless a bulb burns out or something. Then, as you say, a state trooper or sheriff's deputy will probably have some words with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animedragon Posted January 17, 2023 Share Posted January 17, 2023 11 hours ago, efaardvark said: This could get complicated. By law you must turn your headlights on if it is raining here in California as well. (Actually I think the law says something like "if visibility is reduced then..." since that covers night time as well but the rule of thumb for rainy days is that if you have to turn your windshield wipers on then you should turn your lights on as well. I do know that around here [SoCal] you'll get pulled over and have a little talk with a traffic cop if you don't.) If the traffic cop asks why you've not got your lights on you just tell him that it's not raining in Sweden so therefore you don't need to have your lights on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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