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Post some dad jokes


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I've never been to a gun range before, but I'm thinking about giving it a shot.

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What's Forrest Gump's password?

1forrest1

 

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A patient tells his doctor, "Help me! I'm addicted to Twitter."

The doctor replies, "Sorry, I'm not following you."

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Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?

Regular rocks are too heavy.

 

Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?

Because they're always a little short.

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I was kissing my girlfriend on the couch the other night. She said, “Let’s take this into the bedroom.” 
 

I said, “Ok, you grab the other end.”

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Which days are the strongest?

Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.

 

Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles?

He got over it.

Edited by efaardvark
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Every morning I announce to my family that I’m going jogging but then I don’t go… it’s a running joke.

I have a joke about a broken clock but it’s not the right time.

I have another one about chemistry but I don’t think it’ll get a reaction.

So I'll just leave you with the observation that geology rocks but geography is where it’s at.

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